Tell me why. I don’t like fundilymundillies.

And you thought that after the deaths of a whole lot of celebrities who were actually talented but Ed Balls doesn’t get voted off Strictly, Scotland getting ripped out of the EU despite the fact we voted to remain, and the election as US president of a serial groper and narcissist who’s appointing outright fascists to key positions in his administration that 2016 couldn’t get any worse. Well you were wrong, because 2016 has been a great cosmic joke in proving how all reasonable expectations are as well founded as John McTernan’s reputation as a political sage. It can get worse. It’s going to get worse. It has gotten worse.

Tony Blair, the Great Boor of Babylon, is returning to politics, and he’s bringing Jim Murphy BA Politics (Failed) with him. Because in their estimation, if no one else’s with the exception of John McTernan, they’re exactly what Britain requires in its hour of desperate need as the Tories flounder in a planless and plotless Brexit which is so chaotic and inchoate that Liam Fox is actually an influential and powerful member of the cabinet and Boris Johnson counts as one of the more organised and reasonable government figures.

Yes, what Britain really needs right now is a narcissistic war criminal and a man who presided over the utter annihilation of the Labour party in Scotland and then refused to resign. But Jim is a brave and fearless figure who once stood up to an egg and then selflessly and in a spirit of sacrifice deliberately walked into a placard being waved by Sean Clerkin. That’s exactly the kind of gritty and realistic politics we need in order to challenge the howling loons of Brexit. Because when your politics are infantile and childish what you need is a man who bases his strategy in the politics of the primary school yard.

The press reports this week that Tone is looking for an office in central London from which to mount his campaign against populist politics. You might think that in order to campaign effectively against populism that you’d need a figure who was capable of making an appeal to the populace, but Tony and Jim and John think that they’re the ideal people to do it because the best way to challenge populism is with political figures who are deeply unpopular. It’s a bit like thinking that the best way to challenge the chronic diarrhoea of British politics is by infecting it with dysentery.

Tony Blair and his way of doing politics is what brought about the massive loss of public trust in our political system in the first place. He shows not the slightest degree of awareness of his responsibility for traducing the hopes and aspirations of the millions of people who voted for him way back in 1997. He shows no sign that he understands why people distrust him, hate him, and hold him in contempt. And yet he has the unmitigated gall to believe that he’s the best person to rescue Britain from the sink of despair into which he consigned it. Tony doesn’t believe that his reputation has been destroyed, because he’s surrounded himself with people who have trashed their reputations as comprehensively as he has.

In order to get his great new project off the ground, Blair hasn’t just enlisted the worst politician in Scotland, oh no. He’s going to enlist the worst politicians in Britain who haven’t wrapped themselves in the fleg and started to sing the praises of Brexit. Tony is also in talks with Nick Clegg and George Osborne so that you can get angry now to save yourself time later. Still, you can understand the logic, by enlisting Nick and George and Jim, Tony gets eight faces for the price of four. It also means that they can produce lots of policy papers and even though no one will ever want a copy they can still say they’ve sold out. The logo of Tony’s new organisation is going to be a condom, because you can inflate it with hot air, it prevents anything productive, and it protects the pricks within.

The man who destroyed public trust in politics is not the man who is going to be able to restore it, and certainly not while he continues to enrich himself and refuses to accept responsibility for taking the country into an illegal and destructive war which set off a chain of events leading to the murderous chaos that blights the Middle East today. The world is a scarier and more dangerous place thanks to Tony and his tombstone teeth. He’s the parasite of hope and the ghoul of dreams, hovering over the body politic like a vampire, sucking out all that is good and progressive in order to make money for himself. He’s the reason that Britain voted for Brexit, because people were kicking back at a political class that’s out of touch, unaccountable, and self-aggrandising. He’s not the solution to Brexit, Blair and politicians like him are the problem that caused it.

Brexit and Trump happened because people are sick of lying politicians who can’t be held to account, so they lashed out and their anger was coopted by reactionary forces which will be even worse in the longer term. Tony is patient zero in the disease that infects our body politic. All Blair promises is more of the same managerialism, more of the same cant, more of the same disease. Blair has failed before he’s even begun. Tell me why, I don’t like fundilymundillies.

But the struggle against the illness can also be fought in ways which do promise the hope of something better, which do aim to deliver fairness, justice, equality, and which don’t blame the victims of the political establishment for the crimes of that establishment. The Scottish independence movement, Bernie Sanders in the USA, and the Momentum movement in the rest of the UK are all examples of a positive and progressive challenge to the sclerotic self-interest of an entrenched political class. If we want an answer to Brexit, an answer that’s in the interests of the people of Scotland, an answer that promotes social justice and challenges inequality, an answer that allows us to hold our masters to account, Scotland is going to have to provide one for itself. And we’re well on our way to doing just that. We don’t need Tony.

Audio version of this blog article, courtesy of Sarah Mackie @lumi_1984 https://soundcloud.com/occamshaver/wee-ginger-dug-22nd-nov-2016

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27 comments on “Tell me why. I don’t like fundilymundillies.

  1. John Edgar says:

    Unfair to Mundell, using his name like this.
    Like rigger and the other two yoons at Westminster, he’s the only one.

  2. mogabee says:

    The thought that TB could come to Scotland and tell us he’s “here to help” is making me feel all warm and fuzzy inside…

    How many folk will it take to citizen’s arrest the creepy, lying git?

    • John Edgar says:

      He has Murphy as an adviser according to the Guardian.
      You could not make it up. Murphy who oversaw the total collapse of Slab and left Dugdale a mess which got messier!
      So far, Gordo has not popped up yet with a vow underwritten by the Daily Record and co-signed by Cameron, Clegg and someone else.
      Now that May has been by in her place by Trump and Farage, how will she fare with the EU?
      Isolationist GB is looming, cut off from the Continent and seeing the speshul relashunship in tatters. Farage might be made US ambassador or special envoy for the White House to GB.
      What MayHem indeed!
      Trump has kicked the pomposity out of Number 10.
      What will be the next outrage perpetrated by the Trump-Farage axis of xenophobia and bile?
      The Anglo establishments farage-lite or farage-heavy are in conflict.
      The EU and the Scots are having a good laugh at the Brexit means Brexit shambles. No prosecco and fewer frigates, you could not make it up.

    • Illy says:

      Don’t they have citizens’ arrest in England?

      And I figure it’ll take a couple more people than Tony decides to bring bodyguards with him.

      We will all need a primer on the citizens’ arrest rules, so we can do it properly for the old git.

    • Anne says:

      Sounds like heartburn. 😊

  3. Hon Bugger le Panda says:

    Jeez, sometimes I think that a wee break from twitter, albeit caused by an earth moving accident in the main road, would be a wee nice break before Nöel would be welcomed. Then this, ffs

    That that troup of troubadours would be thinking of reforming is beyond parody and all we need is Gordy Broon to join in. Shite, it is the pantomime season so, why not? Are Fran and Anna still doin gigs?

    This flashback is so inchoate (love that word and have already used on Peat Worriers blog about heidbummer judges) so,I guess it is creeping out that the Blessed Theresa is lost in Space and the Crims are keechin their drawers in case the Great Unwashed learn the truth and go head hunting.

    ONWARDS AND UPWARDS

  4. Iain says:

    I’d like to see Blair, Murphy and McTernan in a kind of Channel 4 discussion where the 3 of them sit around a table in a darkened room drinking wine (IrnBru for the Scottish editions) and talk about their marvellous ideas which could change the world if only the plebs weren’t so stupid. McTernan could try out his refined new accent and Murphy could model different ranges of sponsored sports outfits. They could invite guests like Helena Kennedy, UK Rowling and Frank Roy (just kidding, there) and be very in the stream and au fait.

    It woulod be as gripping as Jeremy Kyle, minus the piercings and tattoos.

    • Marconatrix says:

      Politicians always seem keen on institutions, so I´m sure there´s a suitable institution somewhere where they can all sit around in the said darkened (and nicely padded?) room and play fantasy politics to their hearts content. Just so long as they´re fully insulated from the real world, and more importantly the real world from them.

  5. Macart says:

    OFFS!

    2016 should hang its head in bloody shame. Can we add another degree of difficulty to what is already a societal catastrophe for the populations of the UK?

    Newt: My mommy always said there were no monsters – no real ones – but there are.
    Ripley: Yes, there are, aren’t there?
    Newt: Why do they tell little kids that?
    Ripley: Most of the time it’s true.
    😮

    Just sayin’.

  6. Gail Hughes says:

    Not a fan of Tony, then?

  7. If there wasn’t a Tony Blair, we wouldn’t have to invent one.
    Thank the chief that Murphy held on to his London Pension Plan, sorry, house, by wangling that a fellow MP claim WM expenses to pay the ‘rent’, eh?
    This man is getting reportedly £200k a year from Blair’s Charidee Tax Loophole?
    Obscenity on stilts.
    Great piece of invective, Paul.
    Self determination soon; it’s inevitable now.

  8. Brian Powell says:

    Could be something of a get out of jail card for the Tories, when everybody turns on Blair.

  9. Jan Cowan says:

    I find it difficult to take much more of this. Once upon a time there were upright, honest members leading the Labour Party. What has happened? Where are they now? Granted I never ever expected much from the Tories but even they had a few comparatively worthwhile people within their ranks. And as for America? Nothing would surprise me now. Perhaps though, with luck, beautiful California will gain her independence.

    One thing for sure – Indy Ref 2 cannot come soon enough for Scotland.

  10. socratesmacsporran says:

    Never forget people – Anthony Lytton BLiar is a Fettesian. Fettesians are taught, all the way through their years at that school to be shites. They go in as wee shites – they come out as big shites.

    I have an acquaintance, a now retired rugby player, who went to Fettes and captained the XV. He is an unreconstructed UKOK Toryboy. He was a year ahead of BLiar at that school, and even he will tell you – BLiar is the lowest form of animal life he has ever encountered.

    If even unloveable Fettsians don’t love BLiar – he must be toxic.

    • It has its advantages, socrates.
      You don’t have to queue outside for your Bruntsfield Tesco Metro lunchtime special if you attend an Edinburgh fee paying school.
      Reportedly Blair is consolidating his ‘earnings’ into one Not For Profit Charity Foundation.
      That’s one way to avoid paying tax, eh?

  11. Jonnny come lately says:

    Blair’s returning is only the headlines. Blair and co will not be standing for any notable position in politics.
    Blair and his team will be working (where they are most dangerous) behind the scenes, manipulating, pulling strings, lobbying, and deal making. That is my biggest fear.

  12. Black Rab says:

    The fuck wit that is Blair and his fuck wit acccomplice’s who fucked Scotland and the North east and West and Midlands of England over, and threw all social contracts in a neoliberal bonfire are staging a political comeback in an apparently bid to save the day……..!!!!!!!!!!! Fuck me…fuck them.

  13. Angus Skye says:

    Can anyone tell this simple soul what the point of the Chilcott Enquiry was? It told us what we already knew in a very lengthy and expensive way and, since its publication, what has happened? Hee Haw as far as I can see!

    • Les Bremner says:

      Westminster never solves a problem. They have three techniques.
      They produce a report and then do nothing about the result.
      They create another problem to deflect the public from the first one.
      The last is more subtle, in that they produce a response which is exactly the opposite of what is needed. They are so arrogant that, as an example of this third case, they responded to the miscarriage of justice where the Guildford Four were convicted due to forced confessions by withdrawing the right to silence by changing the wording of the English police caution.

  14. TB says:

    Part of Blair’s agenda in doing all this – consider the red Tories he’s employing and overpaying – is simply to open up another front in the war against Jeremy Corbyn and his quaint insistence that Labour should be slightly left-of-centre.

  15. Guga says:

    I truly believe that the war criminal and mass murderer, Bliar, is mentally ill. What he hopes to gain from interfering in the Brexit debate is hard to imagine as he is so totally loathed by just about everyone on the planet. On the other hand, he may be showing his true colours in that his intervention will help the Tory cause as most people will be so disgusted by him that, in England, they will automatically support the Tories.

    As for Murphy, he is merely a mental midget if he believes that anyone in Scotland, even Red Tories, would actually support anything he says. He must have some ulterior motive for supporting the war criminal Bliar.

    The only support for Bliar should be a trip to the Hague, followed by being supported by the neck at the end of a length of rope.

  16. Macart says:

    Living proof that BT were and are an irony free zone and that HMG are a shower of …(fill in as appropriate).

    https://www.buzzfeed.com/jamieross/watch-the-secret-campaign-video-better-together-didnt-want-y?utm_term=.phylLlLvo#.wppE9E9qQ

    and

    http://wingsoverscotland.com/the-prophecies/

    Over two years on and who are the separatists and who are the unionists? Who tore up shared history, business links and political reputation nationally and internationally?

    To be crystal clear, all of what has occurred in Scotland over the past two years from EVEL, through near perpetual Tory government, continued austerity ideology, Brexit with its resultant rise in xenophobia and hate crimes, fiscal fucking resets? The wholesale deconstruction of our economy and our society through your naked media manipulation of the public? ALL THAT!

    The Scottish electorate gets to enjoy all of this societal catastrophuk, and that’s on you Better Together.

    Suck it up and take a bow. (very slow hand clap)

  17. Macart says:

    Paul are you seeing some of the budget tweets coming through? OMFG!😮

  18. Dave Hansell says:

    The core brief of this initiative is to regain control for the one percent from the plebian masses. This means that the working definition of ‘populism’ is so wide that just about anything you can think of gets sucked into the black hole of that definition.

    It is not just the support behind Trump and Farage that is in their sights here but also the support for Scottish Independence, Jeremy Corbyn, the ‘left’, Sanders, anti-fracking, anti-war, and anything and everybody not in thrall to their narrow extremist economic neo – liberalism, political neo – conservatism and social neo – feudalism. Anyone and anything not with them is fair game in the all encompassing “populism” they delusionally believe it is their destiny to exterminate.

    If the situation were not so serious one could feel sorry for the middle and lower ranking cardre of this enterprise, such as our local MP, who are in deep denial over their own role in producing the domestic as well as international blowback which is animating them. Rather than learn lessons from their behavioural and attitudinal blunders they are willfully refusing to accept any responsibility and are doubling down on those attitudes and behavior in the vainglorious delusion they are the cure rather than the cause.

    For a decent civilised society to survive, never mind thrive, these modern day aristocrats and their sycophantic courtiers need to be shunned and outlawed from society.

  19. emilytom67 says:

    He fcucked more than Scotland,longtime s he was done twice for cottaging,just saying.

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