The leaderette of the Tory branch office in Scotland and the living embodiment of the truth of the principle of nominative determination, DRoss, has promised us this weekend that he’ll stand up to the Johnson administration on the issue of chlorinated chicken. “I would have no hesitation in voting against any legislation which would allow chlorinated chicken or hormone-injected beef into this country. That’s a categorical assurance,” said DReck in a tweet on Sunday.
Isn’t that just marvellous? A Scottish Tory with a backbone. That’s as rare a creature as a chlorinated chicken with teeth and an active interest in telling the truth. So rare in fact, that it doesn’t exist. Just like DRudge’s backbone. Or indeed his ability to tell the truth.
The uncomfortable fact for DRivel here is that just a short while ago he voted against the very thing that he now claims he’s going to stand up for. In July DRibbler voted against an amendment to the Trade Bill which was aimed at protecting British farmers and maintaining food standards. The Bill creates the legal framework for the UK’s trade policy following the end of the EU Transition period at the end of this December.
The amendment would have created a new Clause 11 to the Bill. If passed it would have ensured that foodstuffs could only be imported into the UK if they complied with standards equal to or higher than those in force in the UK at the time of import. These standards relate to animal welfare, environmental protection, food safety and hygiene, and plant health. The clause would also have required the UK Government to prepare a register of standards under UK law which relate to those requirements, ensuring that any imports could easily be checked against them. If adopted, this amendment would have made the importation of chlorinated chicken and hormone injected beef illegal.
It’s bad enough to vote down what you’re now claiming that you’re going to stand up for once. The big problem for DRab is that he’s done it twice. The new Scottish Conservative leaderette also voted against an amendment to Clause 2 of the Agriculture Bill on 13 May this year when the issue was put to a vote in the House of Commons. This bill sets the standards for agricultural production in the UK following the end of the EU transitional period. The amendment to the bill was tabled by the Tory backbencher Neil Parish and former minister of state for DEFRA Theresa Villiers which would have made it law that any foods imported into the UK must match the quality and animal welfare standards of agricultural production in the UK. Farmers were keen on this protection as it would ensure that they could not be undercut by imported foods cheaply produced to lower standards than are lawful in the UK. Along with every other Scottish Conservative MP, DRab voted it down.
Not once but twice, the Great Saviour of the YooKay has refused to do the very thing that he’s now claiming that he’s going to do as he attempts to pose as the great defender of Scottish farming interests. There’s more bullshit there than there is in all the cowsheds in Scotland combined.
During an uncomfortable interview with Radio Scotland this morning, DRubbed tried to make out that the fact that just a couple of months ago he had actually voted against what he now claims to be standing up for was just propaganda. It was incorrect, he said, that he had voted against Clause 11 of the Trade Bill, and attempted to attack the interviewer for listening to “cybernats”. It is however an incontrovertible fact that DRongo voted against Clause 11 of the Trade Bill. It is likewise an incontrovertible fact that he voted against Clause 2 of the Agriculture Bill. These are actual things which have actually happened, unlike DRopsie’s pose as the champion of Scottish food production standards, which only exists in his own imagination.
DRone has voted against what he now claims to be standing up for, not once, but twice. Now he’s trying to pretend that he didn’t vote the way he voted, and refused to stand up for Scottish farmers or food standards. But then a couple of months ago him and his pals – that would be you Ruth – were still plotting the demise of Surname Surname and it really wouldn’t have done for DRegs to have rebelled against Johnson, because then he couldn’t have counted on the Prime Minister’s support for the putsch against the car salesman. As ever with the Conservatives, it’s their own personal interests that come first. Then their party’s. The rest of us don’t get a look in.
The truly remarkable thing here is that DReadful thinks we’re so stupid and have such short memories that we won’t recall what he did just a few weeks ago – not once but twice. We should of course be kind here, and be bigger people than your average Scottish Conservative MP. Who are it must be said, exceptionally average. It is entirely possible that DRooling didn’t lie about how he voted. It could be that he just forgot, because he has a poorer memory and lower intelligence than one of those chlorinated chickens that he now claims to be defending us from. Those are the only possibilities here. He’s either a liar, or he’s deeply stupid. Although of course it must be admitted that those two possibilities are not mutually exclusive.
When you get angry and defensive when confronted with your own voting record, it’s a sign that you’re perhaps not going to be the great performer and saviour of the union that your backers think you’re going to be. Douglas Ross has only been the leader of the Scottish Conservatives for a few weeks, yet he’s already lurched from one presentational disaster to another. If this is the quality of the campaign to prevent Scottish independence, the British nationalists could save themselves a whole lot of time, energy, and bother by just conceding now that they’ve already lost. Because one thing is for sure, no amount of DRoss is going to win this campaign for them.
You can help to support this blog with a Paypal donation. Please log into Paypal.com and send a payment to the email address firstname.lastname@example.org. Or alternatively click the donate button. If you don’t have a Paypal account, just select “donate with card” after clicking the button.
If you have trouble using the button, or you prefer not to use Paypal, you can donate or purchase a t-shirt or map by making a payment directly into my bank account, or by sending a cheque or postal order. If you’d like to donate by one of these methods, please email me at email@example.com and I will send the necessary information.
Please also use this email address if you would like the dug and me to come along to your local group for a talk.
Gaelic maps of Scotland are available for £15 each, plus £7 P&P within the UK for up to three maps. T-shirts are £12 each, and are available in small, medium, large, XL and XXL sizes. P&P is £5 for up to three t-shirts. My books, the Collected Yaps Vols 1 to 4 are available for £11 each. P&P is £4 for up to two books. Payment can be made via Paypal.
My new book has just been published by Vagabond Voices. Containing the best articles from The National from 2016 to date. Weighing in at over 350 pages, this is the biggest and best anthology of Wee Gingerisms yet. This collection of pieces covers the increasingly demented Brexit years, and the continuing presence and strength of Scotland’s independence movement.
You can order the book directly from the publisher. Ordering directly means that postage is free. You can order here –
You can also order a book directly from me. The book costs £11.95 and P&P is an additional £3.50, making a total of £15.45. To order just make a Paypal payment to firstname.lastname@example.org, or alternatively use the DONATE button below. Please make sure to give me your postal address when ordering. Orders to be sent outwith the UK will incur extra postage costs, please email me for details. If you can’t use Paypal, or prefer an alternative payment method, please email email@example.com