Floaters and fish food

Having given up on any prospect of Scotland coming home to Labour, because Scotland has long since realised that Labour isnae wur maw, the Unionist media is now bigging up Ruthie. Can Ruth Davidson really bring about a Conservative poll revival in Scotland? screams a headline in the Observer newspaper today. The short answer is of course no. The longer answer is a meditation on the propitious decline of the cause of Union in Scotland, which has plunged so deep into the abyss of irrelevance that the Unionist media is pinning its hopes on the tank girl of the toxic Tories. There’s not been such a desperate campaign of hype since Simon Cowell tried to persuade us that trousers with the waistband halfway up your chest were actually fashionable. No, Ruth Davidson isn’t going to bring about a Conservative poll revival in Scotland, and neither, despite its best efforts, is the Unionist media.

As I’ve said before but which bears repetition, if only from a delicious sense of Schadenfreude, the Tories are reviving in the same way that a haulf drowned person doing the doggy paddle with the aid of inflatable arm bands is on course to win an Olympic gold swimming medal. The only reason that they still seem to be in any sort of contention is because the Labour party has already been tied up, given concrete shoes, and tossed in the deep end by a thoroughly pissed off electorate.

It’s not difficult to look like a competent navigator of the waters of Scottish politics when your Unionist competitors are stuck in the ooze and feeding the fishes, but while the desperate Unionist spin is that the battleship Ruthie is cruising to save the Union, the vast majority of Scotland looks upon what’s left of the Tories and sees nothing more than a persistent wee floater that refuses to flush. Floaters or fish food, that’s what the Unionist media is pinning its hopes on. There’s as much of a chance of Ruthie bringing about a Conservative poll revival as there is of Michael Forsyth admitting that his continuing influence in Scottish politics is a repugnant affront to democracy.

This time two years ago it was Alistair Darling and Gordie Broon, saving the Union from the evil separatists and casting the demon Alicsammin out into the wilderness for ever. This time last year the great hope for a Unionist revival was Jim Murphy and his Scotland fitba strip, fundimundily swearing blind that he was gobsmacked at just how easy it was to wrong-step the SNP.

There’s always a great saviour, and the saviour always gets savaged even though the expectations placed upon them by the increasingly despondent media get more and more reduced each time. Broon was going to save the UK and kill nationalism stone dead. Murphy was going to save the Labour party and halt the progress of the SNP. All that Ruthie’s going to do is to have half a chance of sliding into second place. This time next year it will be the local authority elections, and the media will solemnly inform us that next year’s great hope to save the Unionist cause will do so by managing to form a coalition with the Lib Dems in Clackmannan.

This year’s great saviour of the Union sided with George Osborne and the UK Treasury during the financial negotiations underpinning the Scotland Bill. That’s the George Osborne and the UK Treasury which tried to saddle Scotland with cuts of £7 billion and claimed that this meant no detriment. This year’s great saviour of the Union wants to impose prescription charges and student fees. This year’s great saviour of the Union claims that there’s no real difference between Scotland and England and wants to prove that by imposing the same policies on Scotland that have wrought havoc in England. Because the English NHS is such a model to aspire to, and saddling students with even more debt is the key to a fairer society.

Ruthie wants to secure the Union by stamping out any difference between Scotland and England, and by denying the people of Scotland the democratic right to another referendum even if we vote for one, and even if the key promises of the Better Together campaign lie as shattered and broken as Jim Murphy’s leadership hopes. Just eight months ago she was saying the opposite, that if the people of Scotland vote for a second referendum then we will have a second referendum. But now she’s hoping to hoover up the crumbs of the die hard Unionist vote, the people who would rather cast the poor, the disabled and the low paid to the wolves than concede that Scotland has a right to democracy. It’s only the independence campaign that Ruth demands is held to account. Westminster gets a free pass, and it’s Westminster which is punishing the poor to reward the rich. There is no Scottish exceptionalism in Ruthie’s world, only the exceptionalism of a sclerotic British state.

I seem to recall that during the last Westminster elections the media was assuring us, when they weren’t playing keepie up with Jim, that there was going to be a revival in the fortunes of the Tories in Scotland. They ended up crashing to the worst result in their history, achieving a mere 14.8% of the vote. But since they narrowly escaped total annihilation, and were merely pandaficated instead, the media was able to keep its tank girl fantasies alive. They were aided in this by the spectacular fall of Labour, which took attention away from just how poorly the Tories had performed.

Labour is still falling, the Tories are keeping themselves afloat by appealing to the hard core Unionists, and both demonstrate that Scottish politics is continuing to diverge from politics south of the border. Politically we are very different countries, and Scotland is continuing to forge its own way. The ties that bind us to the Westminster parliament are growing ever more frayed, and there’s no saviour of the Union who is going to restore them. The Tories might float, but the Union, like Labour, is destined for fish food.

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38 comments on “Floaters and fish food

  1. […] Wee Ginger Dug Floaters and fish food […]

  2. daibhidhdeux says:

    Zombies. Come Holyrood, time for them to hit the hay permanently (electorally assisted). Thus, SNPX2 despite the siren voices.

  3. Jackson Carlaw has already begun his Leadership bid.

    He was on EBC’s latest farce of an Election ‘Debate’ last Thursday, as Tory Health person.
    He had enough nous to be on his best behaviour in a room with 40 or so Health professionals (GP’s, Consultants, Nursing bodies and so on) .

    He had his magnanimous hat on. There were 4 separate Health Services in England Wales N Ireland and Scotland.
    Our NHS should not be used as a political football..chunter chunter, consequentials..chunter chunter. We mustn’t ‘monsterise’ our HS.

    Yeah, Jackson, whatever.

    Jackie Baillie , the Last of the Dumber Whine, I kid you not, is Shortbread Labour’s Health spokesperson, and insulted the intelligence of the small but distinctly specialised studio audience, by asserting that half the Scottish Health Budget ( £6.5 billion of the total £13 Billion)was spent in treating just 2%, a pesky unhealthy minority of Scots every year.

    A chap of my generation queried this. (Shelley Joffre of course let this guff go unchallenged.)
    The gentleman didn’t have a calculator to hand , but felt sure that the Abacus Queen was talking pish, or more polite words to that effect.

    JaBa The But was asserting that 200,000 Scots citizens were costing us £32,500 each, and that health education, to tackle obesity ,for example, was the way forward….Oh dear…
    There wasn’t even a ripple of applause, all evening.
    I had a sense that the Medical Professionals in the crowd were content with the steady as she goes status quo in the meantime.

    I had a slight ‘ouch’, though, but, mind.

    The forecast shortfall of 750 GP’s by 2021 was raised.

    I am intrigued.

    The room was full of professionals whose job at some level or other includes what HR (Personnel but with a eight figure salary) would describe as Succession Planning; working out how many staff would be required in some sort of Forward Planning mechanism.

    The message that it was somehow up to the politicians of whichever Hue to come up with solutions rather than the doctors, consultants, nurses, care professionals making up the audience seems somehow wrong.
    Something has gone dramatically awry since I retired from the market place, if those actually at the coal face of any public Service Organisation feel that they can abdicate responsibility for staff recruitment, training, and retention to an ephemeral politician .
    If we need 750 GP’s over the next five years or so, who ya gonna call?

    Labour is a withered husk of a party Up Here.

    The Reids, the Darlings, the Browns, the MacConnells, the 4 jobs Alexanders, of their murky money grubbing Tony Blair past, serve as a message to us all.
    Vote Labour and they’ll empty the coffers, and join the Masters of the Universe in screwing the poor mugs who elected them.

    Roth Davidson is a sad cartoon of a jolly hockeysticks Tory Spinster.

    Carlaw, and Fraser, and that wee clique that sit about her as she waves a paper at the FM and screams ‘SNP Bad’, know the score.

    They will get 12-14% of the vote.They are resigned to being permanent also-rans.

    Ironically, they ‘know their place’. A snooty Upper Class, still the first line of Defence against the Red Tide.

    Expect Ruth to be posing on a Spitfire down at Brize Norton in a Biggles Outfit. Chocks away, Ginger. Tally Ho.
    TBH, I couldn’t give a phlegm filled Kleenex about the fate of any of them.

    Independence is inevitable now.

  4. Black Rab says:

    I trust that the ‘fish food’ is for pet goldfish and the like and not to be scattered to the fine fish that inhabit the North Sea. I could never stomach labour or tory haddocks.

  5. Margaret says:

    Rooth the mooth is the Alistair Carmichael of the tory party I wouldn’t trust her to tell me the day of the week

  6. John Edgar says:

    I,too, read the Guardian article. It opened saying that Ruth was depressed at her radio news work was having no impact on the country that she gave it up to stand for the Tories at Holyrood! Now that cloys!
    I remember the Guardian giving the same type of puff for Johann Lamont!
    However, the article was short on details about Tory policies and manifesto and had to switch to Kezia and Slab.
    I think the LibDems never got a mention.
    The article was written as if the two-party yoonies was still the norm in Scotland!
    The writer’ Boffey, did not draw the obvious conclusion. Yoonionism is a diminishing concept being with the two yoonie parties scrapping over who will be first at the bottom of the heap. That, in some quarters, is seen as ” revival”; it resembles more ” life support”.

  7. * David Smith* says:

    There’s no chance they’ll get back into power in a century from now, let alone this election. It’s quite embarrassing the media & papers are even biggin them up. An ancient entity as outdated as the whigs. After all they’ve done to this island let alone Scotland and people still vote for them and the media have got the cheek to support them. it just shows you there was no tory vs labour, elitism party vs working peoples party. It was all designed to keep the people under control, an illusion if you will. The media forgiving the tories and now supporting them is ,well, the union’s over, finished in the heart, mind and soul of everyone who was betrayed and lied to then and now.

  8. thomaspotter2014 says:

    A hard rain’s gonna fall on Ruthie and Mike’I’m so Riseable’Small.

    Hell mend them.

    Let’s fuck them up.

  9. BampotsUtd.wordpress.com says:

    Reblogged this on Bampots Utd.

  10. Irene Danks says:

    So glad I was just eating breakfast rather than drinking my coffee…I managed to keep the food from covering the tablet screen but I wouldn’t have been so lucky with the liquid! Please give some warning when you’ve phrases like “This time next year…media will solemnly inform us…great hope to save the Unionist cause…managing to form a coalition with the Lib Dems in Clackmannan”….
    I shall, of course, use this phrase. I will give you credit though!

  11. Dan Huil says:

    The britnat media loves anyone who talks Scotland down. Boycott the britnat media – and that includes BellaC

  12. Jan Cowan says:

    Glad to confirm that a “persistent wee floater” inevitably ends up in the septic tank or equivalent.

    If the yoon press are hoping to “big up” wee Ruthie they are, as you say Paul, making the same mistake yet again. Great stuff!

  13. Al Manny says:

    The Ruthie/Kezia/Willie parties have absolutely no chance of ever “governing” Scotland again. Whether they like it or not their future is in a free Scotland and the quicker they realize it the better.

    • John Edgar says:

      But will they? How much pounding do they have to take before it dawns on them? After the SNP gained 50% of the vote in 2015, one would think it would start to dawn on them.
      The msm and the BBC propaganda on behalf of the yoonies has no impact. Yet, the yoonies are in denial.
      There only tactic, desperate and wild, is to start branding the SNP as seditious as they are threatening queen and country.
      Appeals to Westminster for direct rule….Appearance of the latest version of the black and tans….
      Tanks ( not headed by RD) down the Royal Mile…. Installation of a hastily ennobled GB to run North Britain…
      That might seem fanciful, but UK is devious and ruthless.

      • Saor Alba says:

        It might seem fanciful John, but it has been done before.
        The UK and Unionism is rotten to the absolute core.

  14. Albawoman says:

    What annoys me about the media gurus is not just their bias but their laziness. The journalist in the Observor mentioned Cameron’s travails as being a current factor which may influence the Tory vote in Scotland.

    He seemed to have no knowledge of the PFI debt zillions bequeathed to us by Gordie Broon. No mention that this is the latest factor which may influence the Labour vote.

    It’s a fast changing scene guys and gals of the media. Keep Up!

    • John Edgar says:

      You are right about pfi and Slab. What a debâcle for Kez and distant Jez! Big Gordo is now nowhere to be seen in the Scottish scene.Maybe he is practising “pacing up and down” and setting his jaw to look ” awesome”. Then in front of a selected audience of mesmerised Slab Fifers he’ll launch forth about my Scotland , my Britain and vow to bring about full fiscal autonomy mach 3.
      The former UK- Slabbers perhaps are seeing ‘ shrinks’ as they cannot understand what has happened to safe Labour.
      How the detached have fallen.

  15. Macart says:

    The Guardian giving favourable column space to one of the most disingenuous and deceitful Tories outside of the London bubble. Says it all really.

    Never ceases to amaze me just what ethics the orthodoxy and its press are willing to sacrifice in the name of a discredited political construct. Labour politicians accepting peerage and writing for the likes of the Mail and the Telegraph. Right on luvvie titles giving column space to pro conservative propaganda. Liberals just ‘practicing politics’ the way its always been done and Tory parliamentarians yanking everyone’s chains all over the place and behaving fully as expected.

    Wait now! I’m seeing a pattern forming.💡

  16. Right, that’s Smawbaws getting de-linked from my blog anyway…

  17. arthur thomson says:

    Davidson has got herself a nice little earner. She will never be called upon to do anything other than rant on the sidelines – directed by her London owners – and she’ll pick up a fine salary for doing it. Yet a large number of people, including working class tories, will vote for that! It’s bizarre when you think about it.

    I am quite sure that Davidson doesn’t want it but I do hope the blue tories come in ahead of Slab. Then she can get a daily kicking for her money and the remnants of Slab can go and live in the political wilderness, the same kind of soulless, hopeless wilderness that they were more than willing to turn Scotland into just so they could enjoy the good life.

    • John Edgar says:

      Talking of Slab in the wilderness, it never ceases to amaze me their “loyalty” to the head office in London.
      J Lamont lambasted it for making Slab a branch office. Their masters in London do not even rebut it; they just continue to treat Slab with contempt and Lamont and Co continue as I nothing has happened!
      They all live in some.kind of detached bubble. Weird

      • benmadigan says:

        SLAB is part of the British Labour Party. It is not and never has been a separate party. BLP loyalty is to britain – the UK.

        As support for Scottish nationalism grows it’s hardly surprising support for the BLP drops. There’s nothing the BLP can do about that. Hence the detachment.

        if SLAB were to break off from the BLP and set up a Scottish Independent LP it would be a whole new ball game . An SILP might garner a few votes but it would have an uphill struggle as a new party with a new manifesto to devise etc .

        I don’t envisage that happening at present but after independence, who knows?

        • John Edgar says:

          Is an ” independent” ScotLabour or what one may call it capable of writing its own manifesto for an independent Scotland? They have been side kicks for so long to UK Labour I doubt if those at present in their party would know where to begin. They ate like the old East European Communist Parties, looking over the shoulder to get the nods a d winks of approval from Moscow. Then Moscow went on a different direction and they old commies were “lost”.
          A party bolstered by UK unions is never going to be Scotland- focussed.
          Sad, but true.
          The pro -independent left groups outwith “Slab” may be the genesis of a new left of left grouping. The Soc Dem ground has been occupied by the SNP where it has “pooled” and “pulled” from across the spectrum supporters for independence.
          The great thing is that after independence, Scots will create and develop their own body politic and take full responsibility for their own decisions and mistakes.

          • benmadigan says:

            Completely agree John. SLAB won’t change before independence – what happens afterwards is open to all comers. If SNP hold the centre-left ground I would envisage a far left and some sort of Right-wing Conservative party. But it would definitely be up to the Scots to form these parties, name them and vote for them

    • Robert Graham says:

      yep that would sell tickets to Holyrood the tories in second place , with Labour and whoever their next leader is yapping on the side lines , the tories are the real target although labour seem to have forgotten this bleedn obvious fact , i cant rember Kezia jumping over Nicola to get to Ruthie to land a few blows .Way to busy with her hatred of the SNP to worry the tories .

  18. kailyard rules says:

    SNPx2 SNPx2 SNPx2

  19. David Agnew says:

    Your choice if you are a unionist are two floating corpses lying face down in the Clyde. To protect the embarrassed we’ll call them Slab & Liar Dems. The other is a fly blown, walking corpse called the Tory – Sorry- Wee Ruthie’s No Surrender, remember the Boyne party.

    All I can say to those poor unionist is: “Sucks to be you I guess”.

  20. Luigi says:

    Private polls must be indicating that the only yoon vote left that can be relied on in Scotland is the ultra hard-line Orange bigots that still plague our society. No surrender – die for the Queen etc. The British media, realising that the YES voters that were historically loyal to Labour, have deserted the red tories en masse and they just ain’t coming back, no matter how much the media attack the SNP and polish the red turd. Hence a new, two-pronged strategy to defend the union has unfolded:

    1. Promote the smaller indy parties to try and prevent a big SNP majority next month. “One party state bad, blah blah blah”. It may even let a few additional yoon MSPs slip in but the main objective is to prevent IndyRef 2.

    2. Consolidate the hard-line yoon vote around the tories, simply to maximise the chances of returning as many unionist MSPs as possible. Hence the ongoing glorification of the tank commander and Murdo Fraser’s inflamitory “Queen’s 11” tweet.

    This strategy is unlikely to be effective, since most indy supporters are quickly falling into an SNPx2 mode (CAUTION – take nothing for granted), and UKIP have entered the fray – with the euro ref coming they will get a loss of attention and may dilute some of the hardline yoon vote.

  21. Tinto Chiel says:

    Luigi, I thought the same myself after seeing The Herald headline about “Labour are Toxic” or some such in the newsagent’s today. Coupled with Fraser’s lunatic intervention, I feel you are on to something. The MSM will talk up the smaller parties as the nice alternative to SNP and Labour (which they seem to realise is deader than roadkill). For the knuckle-draggers, vote for the Tank-Straddler’s No Surrender Obay Ur Qwene Party.

    I never thought I would see such low standards in the Press and political life generally but I hope it is merely a sign that the whole Unionist edifice is crumbling under their feet and they don’t know what to do about it, like Ceausescu’s completely baffled expression when the crowds chanted, “Timisoara!” and his secret police could do nothing about it.

    We live in interesting times.

  22. Iain Ross says:

    Tories are a greedy, selfish and seedy lot, their only redeeming quality is at least they are honest about it unlike Labour.

    It is somewhat pathetic that the media have latched onto Davidson as some sort beachhead against the SNP. It is interesting that she is actively campaigning to be the opposition, i.e. to be the best loser, it might (unlikely) gain a short term victory but in the long term she is undermining the whole party; still perhaps we on the Yes side should be encouraging her. In addition the way they (the media) attempt to airbrush out the fact she is the same party as Cameron and Osborne is a joke. If they are so “delighted to be united” why are they trying to hide that bit of their identity away and playing the Scottish card?

    In addition the play to hardcore Unionists is a dangerous tactic and raises the deeply divisive issue of sectarianism. You have to ask what Murdo Fraser is playing at with his comments related to the “Queen’s 11”, this guy is supposed to be an elected representative. The fact of the matter is he has just demonstrated beyond doubt that he is not sharp enough to ever be a political leader of any standing, far too naive. Idiot might be the appropriate term. Not to worry though you shall not see anything in the press, if it had been an SNP person though…

  23. Alba Laddie says:

    The Scottish (sic) Tories and SLAB are like a pair of twins, one of them is a sleekit, conniving little bastard who manipulates the other sibling, and always manoeuvres them into a corner, and then lets them take the blame for everything whilst sniggering in the background…

    The thick twin meantime, doesn’t recognize it’s being played like a fiddle and blunders around with its dinner spilt down its front, greeting that a big laddie did it and ran away.

    Can you guess which twin is which?

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