That’s a fine forfochten fanklefyke the Tories have got us into

Yesterday the story could have been Labour’s to tell. Jeremy Corbyn could have stamped the Labour party’s mark on Brexit and alongside the SNP, the Lib Dems, Plaid Cymru, and the Greens he could have brought forward a motion of no confidence in the government and shown that there is substantial and principled opposition within the UK to the selfish insanity of a Conservative Brexit. He might very well have lost that vote, but it would have been close, and today Labour would be commanding the news agenda, demonstrating that sense and reason is possible in British politics.

They blew it. They blew it for the exact same reason that Theresa May blew it. They lacked the courage to take it to a vote. They lacked the understanding of symbolism in politics. They lacked vision. Now no one is talking about how the Labour party can seize control of the Brexit narrative.

Today the Tory leadership contest is the only show in town and British politics has turned into a forfochtin fanklefyke of galactic proportions. Because clusterbourach just doesn’t cut it any more. The requisite number of letters from disgruntled Tory MPs has been received by the Chair of the 1922 Committee, and a leadership election will take place if 158 MPs vote against Theresa in a secret ballot which is due to be held on Wednesday evening. If she wins, she’ll be safe in her job as the rules of the Conservative party prevent another leadership challenge for a year. If she loses, she will not be permitted to stand in the leadership election that will then be triggered. We will be told the result by around 9pm on Wednesday evening.

Yet again, the Conservative party has put the interests of the Conservative party first and foremost. There’s only a few short months left to go before the Brexit clock ticks its sorry last, and a substantial section of the Conservative party thinks that this is the ideal time for it to indulge itself in its internal battles. Let’s get this straight here. The Tories voted for Theresa a couple of years back, but now they think that voting for her wasn’t such a great idea and they want another vote. This seems like a good idea that could be implemented successfully elsewhere.

If Theresa May doesn’t manage to get the support of half the eligible Conservative MPs, there will be a leadership contest which is likely to take weeks to conclude. The new leader would be likely to be a Brexiter, who will take the deal back to the EU and who won’t get anything from the EU that Theresa with her fixation on ending freedom of movement wasn’t able to achieve. Dominic Raab C Brexit, David Davis, and Arlene Foster of the DUP have apparently teamed up to campaign for a “better deal”. This apparently entails magic technology, invisible borders, and lots of cake with cherries. But what do you expect when a woman from a party which doesn’t believe in dinosaurs teams up with a dinosaur. The truth is that if there was going to be a better deal on offer, someone would have come up with one by now.

However the chances are that Theresa May will win the vote this evening. This is what counts as reckless and foolhardy bravery in British political commentary these days by the way, making a prediction about what could happen in a couple of hours.

Winning the support of more than half of Conservative MPs isn’t necessarily enough by itself to ensure that an ailing leader remains in their job. If sufficient MPs vote against the leader, previous leaders have still felt the need to stand down out of a sense of principle. But then we’re talking about Theresa May here, a woman whose only principle is the inability to distinguish between being resolute and being stubbornly delusional. Conservatives don’t do resignations on points of principle any more. Just ask David Mundell.

Even if she scrapes home by just one vote she’s quite likely to hang on repeating her soundbites about getting on with the job and nothing has changed. Theresa May is the limpet of politics. Although that’s unfair to limpets as they have a greater understanding of their environment than Theresa does and a more highly developed central nervous system. The mess, the confusion, the political stalemate, is only going to continue. Clinging on as leader doesn’t make it any more likely that she’ll get her deal through the Commons when she does decide to put it to a vote. Clinging on as leader doesn’t make it any more likely that she’ll be able to cobble together some proposal that will enjoy the support of a majority in the Commons.

So, Better Together, are you still there? Are you listening? Although you’re almost certainly not because what we’ve learned over the past few sorry years is that nae bugger in the British establishment listens to Scotland. But on the offchance that you are – about that security and stability that you promised us …

However, even if she does win, Theresa May will preside over a party that’s divided and at war with itself. There will most certainly be a substantial number of her MPs who will vote against her, and they will have no incentive to get behind her leadership. They’ll be sullen, uncooperative, and will continue to plot, conspire, and put obstacles in her way. And even worse than that, we’ll have a Prime Minister who has learned that sticking her fingers in her ears and going la-la-la I’m not listening is a successful tactic.

The UK is enmeshed in a forfochten fanklefyke with no clear means of untangling itself. Everyone outside the Conservative party is looking on with dismay. Everyone outside the UK is looking on incredulously and with increasing frustration. Remember when Scotland was told that by remaining a part of the UK we’d be able to punch above our weight? Well it turns out that all it meant was that we’d be able to punch ourselves in the balls far more forcefully than we would have if we were left to our own devices.

If having a vote is good enough for Tory MPs, it’s good enough for Scotland. The difference is that a Scottish vote would actually solve the problem once and for all.

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44 comments on “That’s a fine forfochten fanklefyke the Tories have got us into

  1. Mike Lothian says:

    OMG forfochtin fanklefyke isn’t even in Google!

  2. […] Wee Ginger Dug That’s a fine forfochten fanklefyke the Tories have got us into Yesterday the story could have been Labour’s to tell. Jeremy Corbyn could have […]

  3. Macart says:

    Ayup! Omnishambles doesn’t come close either these days.

    On that other thing?


    The SC conclusion tomorrow should make for interesting reading.

  4. Welsh Sion says:

    On the day that we in Cymru have the appointment of a new First Minister, how dare the Tories seek the limelight with their own internecine feuds! How selfish! Are we no longer to be considered an important part of this ‘cherished’ Union that we have to put up with Tory squabbles in England hogging all the news? The future direction of the nation is at stake and all the commentators are staring at Westminster! Parochial bleedin’ blighters. That’s me finished with this family of nations malarkey.

    • Andy Anderson says:

      Wales, Scotland and NI are always ignored in this our cherished Union. For many of us it is our corrupt, childish farce for a democracy we only have disgust and anger.

      The good news is more of us are starting to take the latter view and want independence.

      • Weechid says:

        Unfortunately, where I live, I’ve still to find any. Spoke to an older man yesterday who thinks the whole mess is terrible – we should just walk away from the EU – but no way could Scotland go it alone because we don’t have enough people. I really despair at times.

  5. fairliered says:

    Furfecksake fitafankle!

  6. JoMac says:

    Did I hear TM saying earlier in the HoC something along the lines of “We have a solemn duty to deliver the promises we made to the people of Britain during the Referendum …. “. Eh, that’ll be “… to the people of England”, then because I distinctly remember ‘solemn promises’ being made to the people of Scotland during OUR Referendum which have been and continue to be dutifully ignored and trampled all over.

    The problem for me is that I hear an awful lot of Labour pundits banging on about a GE so that Labour can win with Jeremy at the helm and everything in the garden will be rosy because they will sort it out. They’ve got a plan, apparently. Haud me up before I fall ower.

    • I caught Murdo the Biggest Political Reject (8 times now the people of Scotland have urged this hapless little nonentity to make love in Anglo Saxon elsewhere) since three cavemen argued over who was going to approach the sabre tooth tiger they had speared to prod it to see if it was in fact deid, and voted on it, by shoving the weakest wee soul in the direction of the beast, on BBC Radio Jordanhill for Your Brit Nat Listening Pleasure.
      He was screaming on about a Police Sergeant paying squillions more in tax Up Here than Down There.
      The fact that our Polis got a 6.5% pay rise and their numbers maintained as opposed to a 2% pay rise Down there and their numbers cut by 24,000 seems to have escaped this List Tory Canker in the Bum of Democracy.
      Labour don’t do ‘plans’.
      That Dick Leonard’s Red Tory Branch office hasn’t even produced an alternative budget to McKay’s EssEnnPeeBaaad budget; they either couldn’t be arsed, or, as is more likely, there is not one Gravy Trainer in the Red Tory benches capable of actually putting together an economic plan for the coming year.
      Wullie Rennie and his four pals are no’ speakin’ to anybody because the BaadEssEnnPee refuse to stop campaigning for Independence., so there.
      UpHere, the Brit Nat Branch Offices reflect the ineptitude and torpor of their Handlers Down There in LaLaLand.
      I have never witnessed such a dearth of ability or talent in the Brit Nat Parties before.
      They are individually and collectively bottom of the barrel Never Were’s, Never Will Be’s
      We are well out of it PDQ.

      • Liz g says:

        It would take a five year old 2 minutes to work out that the next obvious question for Murdo is
        Do you believe that the Scottish Government should copy the English Conservatives policy’s for Police and are they doing better?
        But Scotland’s journalism..
        Naw that’s too hard..

        • Robert Graham says:

          Liz g , the total farce of this clown who has never won any election he has contested but sits on his fat arse spouting total rubbish and we contribute to his lifestyle is beyond belief,
          I have seen people attempting to defend this system who miss the point totally they while in theory claim it’s a fair system the result is for all to see and that’s Murdo a star in the making ha ha .

        • BBC Radio Scotland is staffed by ‘good eggs’ who were brought up in, brainwashed by, and owe their living to, the Scottish Branch of the Anglo Establishment.

          It is a Middle Class radiophonic version of the Sunday Post/People’s Friend.

          The early morning reviews of the Dead Tree Scrolls is a joke; The Daily Mail, The Express, The Times, The Scotsman, and so on.
          They are an irrelevance, an do not reflect the lives of many millions of Scots citizens.
          But they know that.
          Come the Revolution…

  7. Robert Graham says:

    Yet another farce being played out by these con artists and dutifully being reported by their obedient lapdogs the BBC , This one party of proven liars has caused more grief and real distress to more people than all previous Tory governments together .
    One thing that stood out ,a man in her constituency when interviewed made a statement he said she was a lovely woman one minute she’s in Moscow the next in a charity shop in the high st ,I don’t think he realised the irony, the clue was the total disconnect between this robotic woman’s governments actions and the mushrooming of charity shops and food banks , he must believe these things just happen ,
    I really despair listening to these English Tory voters they appear to exist on a totally different planet from the rest of us and are blissfully unaware of what is happening to this country.

  8. Andy says:

    Twenty minutes until the result of the TM ballot and I’m listening to Andrew Neil. He is either as pissed as a fart, or he doesn’t know how to speak without a script. What a dick!

  9. Macart says:

    T. May still PM 200-117

    Now onto the SC result tomorrow morning. 😉

    • Now we know; 117 Blue Tories will vote against the Withdrawal Agreement.
      People’s vote?
      WTO hell?
      No Confidence vote on May’s Government?
      Spiders from Mars?
      Scottish Independence.

      • Davy says:

        I believe their is a simple solution to understanding your confusion –

        – put your underpants on top of your head, stick a couple of pencils in your ears and say WIBBLE.

        • I wondered why my PC Cam lit up. Are you beamed into my dining room, Davy?
          This has changed nothing.
          We are trundling along towards a fortnight’s Christmas break; it’s not as though the UK was in its greatest crisis since the outbreak of WW 2 is it?

          • Tol says:

            @Jack collatin

            “trundling along towards a fortnight’s Christmas break”

            That is exactly the point. This dead cat…just like all the other dead cats kicks the can even further down the road than I thought possible. It pushes the UK to either of the extremes and I suspect the No-Deal is the more likely. (No one wants to own it but too many MPs actually want it)

            Every delay, every untruth, every idea of a magic eject option actually assists Westminster. It stope people looking at the worst as they get the message that the “get to of jail option” makes it safe. How many “NO” stay on the fence because the risks of Brexit are calmed by the option that it won’t happen.

            All Westminster has to do is run the clock down and its No- Deal. Then their new legislative regime starts. You can already see them manoeuvring and positioning to lock Scotland in after that.

            • Bread and circuses, Tol.
              The Great Unwashed, framed by the Establishment’s Dead Tree Scrollers and their pliant broadcasters as ‘Bored Of Brexit’, or ‘BOBs’, just want to have fun sitting in front of the ‘Goggle Box’ having their troubles washed away by ‘Christmas Specials’, the bubblegum for the mind, served up to them every week of the year:- Celebrity Dance Shows, Great British Cooking/ Baking/ Blackhead Squeezing Competitions, but with tinsel and Shakin’ Stevens hip swivelling to ‘Merrie Christmas ,Everyone’.

              As Mike Russell observed in a doubtless JFK inspired juxtaposition:
              If Scotland can’t save the UK , we must save Scotland from the UK ; or some such words.

              Time we packed our stuff and headed back home.
              Fare thee well, England, come back soon, Wales.
              It’s the thirteenth, Tol.
              12 Days before.

              I get the honour of putting up the Christmas tree and decking the halls. My family never think of themselves.
              I’m supposed to enjoy this.
              As the dyslexic Scrooge would exclaim: ‘Hah Bumhug’!

              • Tol says:


                I think what you are describing is getting everyone to look out the other side of the bus so they don’t see the cliff approaching. If you really want to take everyone over the cliff with you. Then you don’t want to give them any warning or they might stop you.

                Just as disaster capitalist need a disaster….what is the term for disaster politicians.

                All the best with your ‘Bah Humbug-ing’!

      • Weechid says:

        Was it a secret vote or does she now know who the 117 people are that she and the establishment have to “persuade” (ie bribe, bully, blackmail or frame) to get her vote through? Can she now fully compile the New Year honours list?

  10. Robert Graham says:

    Aye well now there’s 117 Tory MPs who realise they are stuck with a uncaring robot just like the rest of us , it’s a pity they ain’t getting a place on our lifeboat bye chaps and ladies missing you already .

  11. Alba woman says:

    Well that’s any sense of democracy gone. The mother of Parliaments is a laughing stock and does not seem in the least chastened.

    Uk democracy was always fragile flower but it has been crushed today by the giant foot of the Tory Party.

    Big T with her mad eyes lives to fight another day. Folk unfortunate enough to face financial, health and other troubles will have to wait in the backyard while the mother of parliaments continues its abusive behaviour.

    Thanks for all your work WGD

  12. melvin penman says:

    the Unionists have become like a bad Marvel movie with no super heroes just super villains and clowns. You cant make this up, its incredible. the laughing stock of the world and still the Unionists think is everyone else is crazy, not themselves. The SNP look like galactic omnipotent beings in comparison, I keep thinking when will the Unionists wake up and see themselves going into a black hole.

  13. Steve Ashton says:

    Dear Theresa:
    The simple answer to all of your problems passing the Europe withdrawal bill with a minority government is staring you in the face. Or at least, it would be if you looked slightly to the right when in your usual place in the House. (To be clear, that’s the positional right, not the political right. I know there is no one in the House righter than you!) Those pesky Jocks who had the temerity to respond when you asked what you thought was a rhetorical question in house the other day.
    Repeal the Act of Union of 1707. Cast Scotland adrift and instantly you have 59 fewer potential SNP opposition MPs! It’s unlikely the Labour Party would be able to beat the Tory party in England and Wales ever again.
    And you wouldn’t have to take the knee to those bigoted DUP freaks any more, so you could do whatever you wanted with the backstop for the Irish Border.
    You needn’t even sack Fluffy the tea boy for being such an incompetent jumped up little cockend (even if he hasn’t resigned yet) . With Scotland gone, he would simply be gone! (I’m not going to be unkind and suggest he has been totally gone since before the day you appointed him, but there are some who might) So much win!
    Even better, you wouldn’t have to keep avoiding and fending off that annoying Nicola Sturgeon woman. No more listening to her incessant whinging and whining about yet another bleeding referendum. In fact, you wouldn’t even have to pretend to like her at all. Although probably best not to be too rude straight away. She will be leader of an independent nation in Europe, so mibbe not a good idea to antagonise her too much, any more than that Varadkar fellow. In fact, think about it, the stupid woman might actually think you’re doing her a favour and be grateful to you! You could wring all sorts of concessions out of her if you take advantage of that gratitude. Like maybe an agreement not to impose tariffs on goods passing over the border. And an insistence that her country continues to use the plummeting pound thus helping to shore it up against the inevitable hedge funded backlash when you finally win your freedom from Brussels! SO much win!
    Even better, it could be made clear that you really have been listening to those voices from the North whining that their democratic vote in the 2016 referendum was being ignored. They’d probably rename you Saint Theresa.
    Of course, there would need to be some discussion over some minor finance and trading arrangements, but these could be dealt with later once the union has been dissolved. There might be dissenting voices in the Westminster bubble, but you could easily silence them by pointing out that England would no longer have to pay the Barnet formula monies! That’s £27Billion for the NHS right there that you could splash on the side of a bus before siphoning it to the offshore accounts of your party donors! Maybe Philip could help you with that side of things? (sorry… That’s the 2011 amount, its probably even bigger now). SO MUCH WIN!
    Your party will have an almost unassailable position in Westminster, and would have no difficulty in bringing forwards those bits of your manifesto which have previously been gathering dust in the bottom drawer. Like the one about deporting everyone who did not attend Oxford or Cambridge University. And the one about legalising the consumption of human baby flesh if the parents had a net worth of less than £10million. You could bring forward the “compulsory euthanasia for the less able” bill for further debate and thus help the farming community by contributing to the availability of high quality fertiliser.
    Its all positive Theresa. You know it makes sense. What are you waiting for? Rip up the Act of Union now! All your problems solved with a simple slash of your pen! You’re welcome….

  14. susan says:

    I think British democracy has been shown to be a sham, a will o the wisp.

  15. Grafter says:

    Enough of this pish. Time to get the yellow vests on. Time for action. Time for INDEPENDENCE.

  16. Macart says:

    Gather most folks have kept up to speed on the SC ruling? If not, a quick but concise summation:


    What it effectively means is that if Westminster doesn’t like any legislation passed by the Scottish government, it can refer it to the SC for a ruling (see under delay ratification) and in the meantime rewrite the law to over rule Scotland’s legislation before it can take effect.

    Just so we’re ALL CRYSTAL CLEAR on the nature of devolution, the precioussss union and partnership. Devolution is power retained, not ceded. There is no union and there is no partnership. There absolutely IS a power grab and you’ve just had something taken from you without your permission.

    That clear enough? Are you YES yet?

    • All ‘n’ all it’s just another brick in the wall, Sam.
      There is no doubt now.
      The Blue Red and Yellow Tories are dismantling the Scottish Government brick by brick.
      No option now; Self Determination.
      Kentucky Scotch, Texas steroid beef driving our farmers out of business. GM chips and chlorinated Southern Fried chickens.
      Fire the starting gun now, Nicola.

    • markrussell20085017 says:

      Beginning to favour a FU divorce rather than a friendly parting of the ways. I wonder what Donald Dewar would make of it all?

      • Macart says:

        Those who put together the devolution settlement knew what they were doing and why. It was NEVER intended to be home rule. It was always intended to be a political sop for restless natives who were beginning to wake up to their situation and chafing under a tight yoke.

        Any time the natives grew restless another one or two unimportant powers would be waved in their direction, but at all times the important stuff was to be retained by Westminster. They were and are sellouts.

        Independence is the natural state of nations. Sovereignty loaned, partially bartered in trade agreements or legislative compliance is also a norm. Having the political weight of another nation decide your fate, direct your politics, your economy, ignore your needs, your choices and your opinion is NOT.

        After the past two court cases results? I think we’re just about done here. TBF, the timing is going to be tight on the last piece of the puzzle, but that’s the why of the current can kicking exercise.

        The long and the short though, is that WE CAN and WE MUST opt for self government. To give the fate of Scotland’s population over to the greed driven monsters inhabiting that howf on the Thames is NOT acceptable. They’ve been given chance after chance to act like friends and partners. We’ve received nothing but contempt, deceit and naked theft in return. That parliament is no friend to anyone.

        • markrussell20085017 says:

          Indeed. The 13th December 2018 should be a date in Scotland’s story – the start of a new enlightenment. As I’ve written elsewhere, Sam, we should be eternally grateful to the UK SC for providing the clarity.

          Now we have the facts, the ball is firmly in our court.

          • Macart says:

            As I’ve noted above and below the line before, the SC case was going to sink the myth of the treaty of union and devolution one way or the other.

            It did not disappoint.

  17. Robert Graham says:

    A statement is about to be made regarding the Supreme Court ruling this judgment affects everyone in Scotland if you don’t have access to a computer yer f/kd .
    Search every TV channel if you want it ain’t there ,

    I hope someone points out the part Ken played in making sure the bill was delayed long enough for the English Tory Government to move the goalposts and bribe the referee and linesman and fix the match.

    Well done Ken you played your part well Son ,

    It is now official for all to see Scotland and its parliament is indeed within this Union a plaything of a English nation effectively useless.

    So what’s the bloody point in having a voice if no one is listening, or due to the set up with the media no one is allowed to hear that voice , it must be obvious to even the most rabid this is not a union , therefore any interaction with this English government is a total waste of time .

    Independence is not just the preferred option to escape this rancid marriage it has become the only option , call for this union to be dissolved now.

  18. Robert Graham says:

    Any time now Ken will wind up the debate as soon as he can in order to make sure his involvement is glossed over , Aye people will remember your involvement Ken.

    • diabloandco says:

      And will we read about his tactics in the ‘Scottish’ newspapers ? Or have it reinforced by the ‘Scottish’ television news? Nah!

      Sic a parcel o rogues in a nation.

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