A guest post by Samuel Miller
I was looking forward to a nice Sunday with the feet up and maybe watching a box set of Laurel and Hardy’s best screwball slapstick. Had a bit of a hankering for some of the classics of comedy recently. Can’t think why. What I got instead was a nice Sunday watching a poor man’s tribute act of same, only without the humour or the slapstick. Also probably missing the talent, skill and charisma. (sigh) No, Sunday became one of those days where if you didn’t laugh, you’d cry. So laugh it was.
Aye. Turns out, our very own Secretary of State for keeping an eye on Scotland, David Mundell and the local branch supervisor Ruth Davidson, aren’t too happy with the idea of Ms May’s latest proposition for the N.I. border issue, or indeed any differentiated position in the Brexit negotiations. They didn’t toil in the mire of indyref 1, presumably throwing suspicious looks at burly men and keeping this sparkling and precious union together, only to see a border appear in the Irish sea. Oh no. They’re so miffed at the prospect apparently, they’d resign their posts and march off in a fit of righteous wossiname into the sunset. What their actual Scottish constituents think of this, I’m not entirely sure. (Rumours of the odd spontaneous ceilidh breaking out overnight and muffled laughter being heard from borders all the way up to Cape Wrath and beyond are completely unfounded.)
You might think that to say they’ve missed the point entirely over the concerns and priorities of the electorate is a bit of an understatement, but I couldn’t possibly comment. You might also think that Brexit happening at all in, y’know, SCOTLAND would be a bit more of a pressing issue to the population of SCOTLAND. That perhaps the Seccy of State for SCOTLAND and the branch supervisor might have a bit more concern for their constituents who happen to live in… SCOTLAND.
The more cynical among you might also be thinking that such an action, (should it ever come to pass), would appear to be somewhat of a dereliction of duty. ‘Course distancing themselves from a PM beset on all sides by folks out for her chair might not hurt either. Perish the thought on both counts. I mean, Treeza has been welcomed so warmly by Ms Davidson on a number of occasions and was quite the busy bee fighting the remain corner during the EU referendum. I’m sure they’re excellent chooms with a simply super working relationship. (The amount of dust in this room fair makes your eyes water)
How and ever, they needn’t have worried. Seems yesterday’s EU talks between Michel Barnier and Dominic Raab didn’t exactly go smoothly. The outcome? Well it was all a bit on-again/off-again throughout the day, as reports of done deal and no deal kept flying back and forth. The current situation, (so far as we know), is that Ms May’s plan, (once again), has been rejected. At this moment in time, it appears that the dreaded ‘no deal’ scenario looms just that wee bit closer as the parties remain deadlocked. The very bestest outcome of Brexit fudge, (bangs head off table), looking decidedly ropey to say the least. The pending cabinet meeting on Tuesday and the EU summit on Wednesday should prove to be fairly…. tense…. affairs.
Advisory note (cough): It’d be well worth readers’ time, at this point, to stock up on popcorn around now. You may not want to miss a second of what happens next and running short on snacks would never do. Also? After Brexit is finalised, stocking up on anything may prove to be a bit of a problem.
Probably also worth mentioning that for mahoosive swathes of the population, Brexit of any description may look beyond grim. Soft, meejum, hard and any other buzz term you care to mention, would be basically the equivalent of putting lipstick on yer proverbial pig.
Just to recap and so far as I’m aware, there was no agreed definition of the terms of Brexit prior to, or during, the EU referendum. No exit strategy in place by either UK government, or the leave campaign. Not even a negotiating stance. The deal was subsequently described however, as going to be “one of the easiest in human history”. How’s that working out for them around now do you think?
More importantly, how is it working out for you?