There’s been a Broontervention

You can always tell when the forces of British nationalism in Scotland are feeling a bit unsettled. They wheel out the great sulker himself for a Broontervention. Broonterventions are a phenomenon that is unique to Scotland, and proof that Scotland can indeed achieve things that no other nation can achieve, in this case meddling with the very fabric of spacetime itself in a way that not even Doctor Who can manage. For no matter how often there is a Broontervention, it’s always for the very first time. Let’s face it, you have to be pretty desperate if you expect Scotland to believe that Gordie Broon is a perpetual political virgin in the great constitutional debate.

Unfortunately for British nationalists, even Broonterventions suffer from the law of diminishing returns. This might be the twenty fifth odd time that he’s intervened for the very first time, but this time round not even BBC Reporting Scotland could be arsed enough to work up much enthusiasm. Usually some fresh faced Reporting Scotland reporter plays the role of the starry eyed and eager companion to Broon’s Doctor Who as they embark together on adventures in the more fanciful reaches of the British nationalist universe battling the Cybernats. Now they’re telling him just to phone it in from his Tardis, which does after all double up as a phone booth.

It’s a sign of their sheer desperation after the galactofuck of this week that they’ve trundled Broon out at all. This was the man who, let us not forget, assured us all back in 2014 that he personally would ensure that the leaders of the major British parties would adhere to the promises that they’d made in thon Vow that got plastered all over the front page of the Daily Record. Sadly for Gordie, this is also the same week when the man who wrote the Vow came out in favour of independence, citing as his reason the fact that none of the British parties came remotely close to honouring it. Not that they ever had any intentions of doing so.

Gordie bears a large share of the blame for that. Far from working his wee socks off in order to ensure that the leaders of the British parties kept their promises and adhered to the Vow, Gordie pretty much buggered off after the referendum and was scarcely seen in the House of Commons. Since Gordie let us all down on what was a pretty major reason for Scotland narrowly voting to remain a part of the UK back in 2014, it’s difficult to understand why anyone thinks that he’s got any credibility left this time round.

We’d be pretty foolish to listen to the advice of a man who went chapping on doors in Fife during the independence referendum and told pensioners who answered the door that they’d have no pensions the morning after independence. This is a man who doesn’t have the slightest compunction about lying to people to their faces, and the man who did more than any individual to create the pensions crisis facing the UK. He’s certainly not going to hesitate before lying in a political speech. Until recently his sole political achievement was to be widely recognised as the worst Prime Minister in living memory. Only then Theresa May came along and managed to steal even that crown from him too, although Theresa doesn’t match him for egoistic arrogance.

Broon is still concerned to warn us that if Scotland goes for independence, we’ll suffer austerity until doomsday. We’re doooomed. Doooooooooomed. Even if that were true, and Gordie’s reputation for accuracy in such matters as about as good as his reputation for ensuring that the promises in the Vow were fulfilled, this would be worse than austerity until doomsday under the Tories how exactly? What Broon didn’t tell us was that with Tory austerity and privatisation, the low wage gig economy, and the destruction of civil, human, and employment rights that we’re threatened with in a hard Tory Brexit, doomsday will come first within the UK. With independence, Scotland could vote a government out of office for imposing austerity that only benefits the rich and better off. As a part of the UK, we’re lumbered with it and can do absolutely nothing about it. I know which of those two scenarios counts as doooooooomed, and it’s not the independence one.

What makes Broon’s intervention even more galling is that it’s his policies and his rampant use of PFI and failure to regulate the banks that brought about austerity in the first place. And now he’s got the unmitigated nerve to warn us about the dire consequences of independence using a report from a think tank that persistently recommends tax policies which benefit the richest in society while preaching austerity for the rest of us.

The real reason that Broon is opposed to Scottish independence is because this country is too small for his ego. No matter how horrific Conservative rule gets, no matter how we are damaged by Brexit, by the Tories shredding the social security system or opening it up to privatisation by stealth, no matter what attacks they make on the foundations of the devolution settlement, for Gordie independence will always be worse than British rule, because only British rule gives Gordie the fantasy of global influence that his bloated ego demands. The fact that British global influence is a fantasy is of no cosnequence to him. His own estimation of his ability is every bit as much a fantasy.

What we can be absolutely certain of is that if we are foolish enough to vote against independence again, Gordie Broon will do absolutely sweet FA to ensure that Scotland isn’t subjected to decades of British inspired austerity. He’ll slink off until the next time there’s a threat to the Union, or he’s got another turgid tome to sell, and then there will be yet another pointless and meaningless Broontervention. The only reason that the British nationalists keep trundling out this discredited has-been is that he’s the closest thing they’ve got to a respected statesman, which only illustrates just how low the British bar is. The only surprising thing about this latest Broontervention is that anyone in the Scottish media imagines that the rest of us give a toss about what Gordon thinks.

Whenever Gordie Broon opens his mouth on the topic of independence, and he’ll doubtless be wheeled out again and again over the months to come, just remind yourself what he said back in 2014, and recall how that turned out. That’s all you need to know about a Broontervention. But what it all comes down to is this, independence may be a risk, but it’s a risk that Scotland can manage and Scotland can control. Gordie would prefer we’re stuck with a Tory Brexit, a disaster in which we’re helpless to influence the course of events. Which do you prefer?


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70 comments on “There’s been a Broontervention

  1. Catherine says:

    Brilliant Paul and you have summed up Gordon Brown perfectly.

    I can’t believe that he has the brass neck to come out again and give his view on Independence after the damage he did in 2014, and the rest……. and then all the false promises he made in saying he would ensure the promises of the so called Vow would be met.

    Sorry, heard it all before. Scotland has moved on.

  2. john 59 says:

    SNP havn’t even fired starting gun and they wheel Gordon Brown out . G B = Fudd

    I apologise for language, but I felt it the most appropriate description .

  3. Alba woman says:

    Yep Gordon takes himself very seriously..what a disaster he was when he was prime minister. He just couldn’t handle the post at all…overwhelmed he seemed by the exposure of his out and out uselessness.

    Go away now Gordon and concentrate on yourself as ever.

  4. Dom says:

    This time we’re going back to the future. http://www.yestv.scot/index.php?id=116

  5. May is a sorry excuse for a human being and a dreadful Prime MInister; but she’s not as bad as Broon was.

    • Cubby says:

      Now that is one difficult choice.

    • Illy says:

      She may be more competent, but she’s also more evil.

      So better on one scale, worse on another.

    • Cubby says:

      Don’t think competence should be part of the decision criteria.

      I know one thing for sure both proved themselves to be outrageous liars and cared not a jot for Scotland.

      May being English and a Tory has a greater excuse for not caring about Scotland and its people. Not even Scottish Tories care about Scotland. Brown from Kirkcaldy is just a Britnat Labour tractor who like all the Britnat Labour tractors are only interested in their own advancement.

      So on that simple analysis I would have to say Brown. GB even his initials are Britnat. He should take himself off to London and never come back. I think the English may hate him even more so he probably won’t get a warm welcome. Britnats in Scotland they are delusional – they think the English love them.

      • Graeme says:

        The English loathe him, they really do. After Blair who they regard as Scottish then Broon they’ll never again have a Scot as PM or probably even Chancellor.

  6. Luigi says:

    When the history of the final breakup of the United Kingdom is written, this great clunking buffoon of a man will feature considerably. Since his disasterous days as chancellor, and later as PM, he almost singlehandedly destroyed the UK by his own actions. Tony Blair also played his part, for sure, but the role of a certain Gordon Brown was crucial: Pensions, illegal wars, gold giveaways, bank deregulations – the list goes on.

    Blair and Brown – the two sons of Thatcher that continued her legacy of destroying the very fabric of the UK. Theresa May will finish the job.

  7. There is a spectre haunting Scotland.

    I wheel my bin out on a Sunday night. If i had a religious relic i wanted rid of that was of no earthly use to anybody, I’d probably have to phone for a special uplift, or just save energy and take it to the tip myself for landfill, otherwise known as the council recycling centre in whitburn.

  8. John Low says:

    Austerity for ever … I look at Ireland, which was undoubtedly in direr straits a few years back than Scotland is now or would be with independence. They seem to be doing rather well now.

  9. Jim says:

    Mama always told me ” if it’s broon flush it doon”

  10. Robert Graham says:

    Ah Broon once regarded as the worst PM in history ,struggling to hold on to this accolade and being seriously challenged for top spot by the current PM Mrs Mayhem , the final result will only be known after Mrs Mayhem is removed.

    Now that it’s obvious the Scottish government can make no progress dealing with this Tory administration other routes must be taken ,other methods of circumventing the strangulation this Tory government are attempting to enact , they are intent in preventing Scottish people from ever holding or having the ability to hold another referendum , their voice will be silenced unless it’s resisted .

    Labour in Scotland are in a bind, do they support the defence of what was their brainchild , Devolution, and the resurrection of the Scottish parliament ,or do they capitulate in favour of the Union well who knows, who knows what labour on Monday will believe on Tuesday , a party still sulking since the SNP stole their god given right to govern in Scotland.

    The EU negotiators will recognise the antics of the Tory government with the events of this week, I hope they recognise dealing with this Tory government is a fruitless exercise and only results in exasperation.

    • Cubby says:

      Yes Labour in Scotland people who only ever cared about the Labour Party and their own personal advancement. A real quandary for them.

      They will start worrying if they think the Tories may shut the Scot parliament and lose their seats. On the other hand they were never really interested in devolution just a political game to be played.

      I had to laugh when John Mann from Labour on Question time started saying he was proposing more devolution for Wales and Scotland. They are just con men. They have been proposing home rule for two centuries back but they regularly act to delay or diminish powers being transferred. Bunch of lying chancers.

  11. Cubby says:

    If we do not terminate this union. Austerity..The old Bachman Turner Drive song You ain’t seen nothin yet. Comes to mind.

  12. Macart says:

    He was an over ambitious irrelevance in office and he’s an out of touch irrelevance now. He helped in the set up of the vow and how it was sold to Scotland’s electorate as the nearest thing possible to federalism. It was sold by the media as devo to the max. It bore his personal stamp and a guarantee of delivery. Its appearance during the campaign at a pivotal point proved significant. It gave people an excuse to vote no. Job done, Mr Broon then deserted those he had gulled. Deserted his pledge and deserted his responsibility on the vision he sold a population.

    Too few stopped to consider that a powerless backbencher could not deliver on the vision and promises that were made. That federalism, even near federalism required the willing aid of other populations, all parties and both houses in parliament. It was a pipe dream. A fabrication. A lie. And he had to known. Ex chancellor and PM, how could he not?

    We are where we are today because of the likes of Brown and their dishonesty. People are suffering NOW because of that practice of politics, that level of naked manipulation of public perception.

    Frankly, I don’t think Scotland’s population can stand much more of Mr Brown’s… helpful interventions. We’re already struggling under the austerity he brought to our door and the arrogance, ignorance and contempt of the system he insisted people should live with.

    He can just toddle off now. We already know he’s at least capable of that.

    • Robert Graham says:

      Agreed Macart , The sad thing is most of the people here are still in the dark curtesy of our Scottish media, this week the BBC in Scotland were caught manipulating and actively blocking news of events on Tuesday night in the English parliament,
      The events that led to the media dubbed ‘ stunt ‘ at PMQs on Wednesday, not one newspaper questioning this blackout , a very serious situation that the SNP led government needs to address with real urgency ,
      They must now in every interview challenge the BBC and the media in general and alert everyone to what is going on . Because the media certainly won’t.

  13. Robert Graham says:

    Oh dear Fluffy on SKY news attempting a charm offensive, a shifty nervous odious individual ,

    Now pushing the line of his governments support for the restoration work , this dubious claim I would take with a barrel of salt ,and worthy of clarification.

    A report on the fire at the Glasgow school of art was taking on the theme of a political broadcast , until quite unexpectedly the presenter tossed in a wee Grenade by asking Fluffy his views on one of the Tory MPs blocking the private members bill making it an offence to take Up Skirt pictures ,

    Oh dear on the ropes now Fluffy oops how sad .

    This bill rejected by the English parliament , I believe is an offence in Scotland passed I believe about ten years ago and enacted by the Scottish justice system, Then again I could be mistaken but it sounds about right if memory serves me .

  14. Andy Anderson says:

    Sorry Paul this is of topic. Taken today from https://thoughtcontrolscotland.com/.

    Not a scientific survey I know but this adds up to 60% may vote YES.

    Still active at the time of writing, 16.6.18 at 09.09am, the Scotsman’s poll had a sample of 8 149.

    This is quite a big sample compared to that of 1 000 used typically by most polling companies but it is quite limited in reliability by being self-selecting. Intriguingly though and perhaps raising the reliability a bit, you needed to have an account with the Scotsman (not necessarily paying) to vote, and, judging by readers comments over the years, there is some evidence that the Scotsman tends to attract No rather than Yes supporters. Of course, I have no empirical evidence of this nor can we really assume anything about the representativeness of the sample. Also, likely to be factors in this response, will be the SNP walk-out, the consequent Tory benches sneering, Mundell’s mendacity and the conversion of Murray Foote, the ‘man behind the Vow’, to the independence cause.

    In response to the question: ‘Has the Brexit process made you more or less likely to vote for Scottish independence?’:
    More likely 33%
    Less likely 7%
    Unchanged: I remain a No voter 34%
    Unchanged: I remain a Yes voter 27%

    https://www.scotsman.com/news/politics/poll-has-brexit-made-scots-more-likely-to-vote-for-independence-1-4755288

    I know, ca’ canny but we can still enjoy it as one wee bit of apparently good news.

    • Robert Harrison says:

      Why have a link to the traitors that falsified the emergency hands of our parliament demonstration.

      • Andy Anderson says:

        I take your point Robert.

        However even in a paper that has many NO supporters this MAY be good news no matter the source. Only time and a few more professionally run opinion polls will tell if this article is the first impression of a step change. Fingers crossed.

  15. SandyW says:

    Gordon Brown promised to save the branch of Tesco on Kirkcaldy High Street from closure. Couldn’t even manage that.

  16. Andy Anderson says:

    On the topic of Gordon Broon esquire I cannot state in writing and in public what I think of him lest I get sued.

  17. If Scotland had to vote No again, my imagination is too limited to visualise what would happen to us. The Tories and their wealthy donors are slavering over the riches they will gain from fracking the fcuk out of our land. This is going to happen without Independence. The Tories have had no compunction about stripping away our EU citizenship, although we voted to stay in the EU. Not a kind word was said to us about it. Only the usual answer to any question demented Theresa May gives to the SNP in Westminster, “Just, Shut the fcuk up. The people of Scotland voted to remain part of the UK, so get used to it.”
    As you say, the London based reporters seemed surprised by the walkout. But that’s only because, they don’t care about Scotland, they don’t think about Scotland and they don’t want to think or know about Scotland. That’s not going to change.
    I made myself watch the BBC Scotland propaganda program Politics Today this week. Gordon Brewer, whose mentor was Josef Goebbels, first words was about the, “SNP stunt”. Then it was stunt, stunt, stunt, stunt, stunt, stunt, stunt, stunt for an hour.
    If the SNP is changing tack to a more realistic attacking policy instead of the failed defensive policy, then the BBC should be one of their main targets. Because if they continue to treat them as an impartial organisation, this will hamstring the Independence campaign yet again. This softly, softly approach to the BBC cost us dearly in indyref1 and the General Election of 2017.
    I just hope that this week, has shown the SNP what works in this UK. The Tories take niceness and following their Unionist agenda as weakness and meekness.

    • diabloandco says:

      Yep! Yep and yep!

      In fact yep all round.

    • Cubby says:

      Marlon your last sentence is what I have always thought. You need to stand up to bullies. Time to get tough with Westminster or get totally screwed. Total disruption is what is required. The Britnats are always mocking us as watching Braveheart too often. Well now is the time for real modern day bravehearts not competent administrators.

      It’s so so obvious why the media is not devolved. Propaganda. The SNP are too friendly with the media. The media are the main reason Scotland is not independent. They will probably take the fire at the art college building and say the fire brigade is to blame. Your Scottish fire brigade is rubbish your Scottish gov is rubbish.

      Totally sick of the media in Scotland. If Murray Foote really wants to campaign for independence then write a tell all book lifting the lid on the vow and all the other lies. I would buy it.

      • Robert Graham says:

        Agree Cubby – Disrespect and disrupt everything , have no cooperation or contact with Fluffy ,
        Call for his disruptive influence to be removed from the Scotland Office , And call for this costly Scotland Office to be closed as its a useless expensive bit of bureaucratic nonsense.
        Every interview and contact with the BBC in Scotland made a nightmare for the presenter, make it personal go for the throat of the interviewer question their political allegiance ,and why the BBC are not reporting news that questions the Union .
        They are the enemy treat them as such, respect hasn’t worked drop it .

    • wm says:

      Nice people come second or probably last Marlon. As for G Broon, how stupid does he think we are. He forgets that we witnessed him help Tony put the final nails in the labour parties coffin.

      • As for G Brown I thought he was dead and buried. Turns out he lives in America. Great isn’t it. He ensures that we remain governed, by a right wing bunch of Scot hating psychopaths. While he is free to travel and swans off, to live elsewhere. But not only that, the Tories that he left us with, take us out of the EU, making travel for us plebs much more difficult.
        Next time he is buried, we need to use titanium screws on the coffin lid and not Blu Tack.

  18. msdidi says:

    On the Sunday after the SNP conference it is customary for Nicola to be given some airtime on one of the “politics” shows. Last week it was the Andrew Marr Show. Our First Minister was interviewed by Marr for all of 7mins. That interview was preceded (in the interest of balance?) by a chat with Gordon Brown……this cosy chat lasted for 14 and 1/2 mins. This propaganda (skewed view of Scottish issues) being aired across the UK by the BBC.

    • both sons of the Manse, or some such Old Order nonsense.
      msdidi. Old boys network.
      He is part of the Old Establishment Up Here.
      That’s why he gets free access to press and TV.
      Let’s hope they drag him out for Idyref 2.

  19. Clapper57 says:

    Wish someone would tell Brenda so that we could hear her utter that classic line ” Not another one”

  20. Macart says:

    Action and consequence.

  21. Iain says:

    Gordon Brown: the twats’ twat.

  22. Derek Cameron says:

    Scotland is ” too small for his ego ” sums it up – something that applies to all those other forelock tuggers and ermine chasers

  23. grizebard says:

    Gordie Brood, the one-time MP for the Co-operative Party, that antiquated adjunct of Labour, who as Chief Finance Officer of the damned UK, oversaw the biggest destruction ever known of its mutual sector through his cowardly tax raids. So much for his “principles” of co-ownership. Just like his assurances about seeing we got the maxiest devo ever.

    Self-inflated egotistical hypocrite-max.

    I really hope he does get wheeled out for the next indy ref. It’ll be a hoot exposing all his doom-laden back-stabbing.

  24. Robert Graham says:

    o/t – Just tuned in to watch the Peru – Denmark game and low and bloody behold what’s on just before the start ,- Scotlands exit in Argentina,

    I looked to check the channel I shouldn’t have bothered – BBC who’d have thought it now .

    G I R F U yah scabby bar stewards , Support England in yer bloody dreams and for that Tractor Smith to ask delegates at the last SNP conference if they were supporting England is really taking the Piss .

    • astytaylor says:

      Gosh, is it really 40 years since Peru gubbed us, 3-1? How time flies.
      At least we used to qualify for the finals, back in those days.
      Maybe we’ll do it again. If Iceland can, so can we.
      Anyways, off to rummage in the attic for that Tunisian scarf.
      Keep up the good work. We shall prevail. Independence, and World Cup finals!

  25. tintochiel says:

    That’s a great flyer, Macart. A hard copy for Scottish letter boxes would surely make the hard of internet think.

    Brown is beyond satire but what really irritates me about this colossal humbug is that the last time I enquired, he was living in an apartment in Manhattan, so his meddling in our affairs is even more unwelcome and hypocritical.

    • Macart says:

      Colin Dunn produces an endless stream of these highly relevant graphics. Makes the information bite size and understandable.

      Well worth keeping an eye out for.

      As for Brown, Blair and McConnell? What can you say that hasn’t already been said? What they’ve done in their careers has caused untold harm. In the case of Blair and Brown especially… on a global scale. So much misery and yes blood on their hands.

      They’ll never see a day of jail time.

      The only thing we, as the public, can do is make sure their legacy and memory is ash. That they’re remembered and that history marks them for that legacy of misery and hardship.

    • Iain says:

      Doesn’t Labour gentleman Brian Wilson have an apartment in Manhattan too? Is that where some Labour gentlemen go instead of House of Lords when HofL’s expenses just aren’t enough.
      Must be lovely overlooking Central Park and thinking warm thoughts about Keir Hardie and Red Clydeside.

  26. chicmac says:

    Yep, he has become the inverse of Status Quo. Status Quo had a farewell tour every year for years until it became a standing joke whereas Gordzilla re-emerges anew from the hatchery every year.

    Sadly, the status quo he favoured, the political one not the band, is no longer available for wir ain Brian Blessed of banality to bellow about anymore and the Tory power grab has fair put his ‘federalism’ on a peep as weel.

    No, it will have to be nothing less than fire and brimstone and no surrender a la Ian Paisley with a corporal Fraser ‘We’re doomed!’ veneer this time.

    No doubt the imploding SMSM will assist him in whatever way they still can, like NOT asking the most obvious question ‘How now Brown Vow?’

  27. Andy Anderson says:

    Last week as you know was all about Brexit at Westminster. What a farce. Anyway if you want a pretty good update about last week have a look at this blog.

    chrisgreybrexitblog.blogspot.com/2018/06/what-did-we-learn-from-this-shameful.html?m=1

  28. Margaret says:

    A Big Bag O’ Wind

    Gordy steps up again, he takes to the stage, to lecture to you and to me
    His glowering looks and thundering voice are there for all to see
    His hours in front of a mirror perfecting a look that’s so pained
    Does nothing to ease the grief, for those who were killed or were maimed

    When the angels are blowing their trumpets ootside o’ the pearly gate
    Wi ‘blood on his hands, forked tongue in his mooth must surely seal his fate
    He’s portrays himself as a victim, a poor misunderstood soul
    If the fires of Hell are lichted, I hope they use him as coal

    Your wean will no get a transplant, I heard him say it again and again
    How could anyone with a shred o’ compassion inflict on the sick so much pain
    Words I hope will haunt him forever,words we must never let him forget
    They should be branded on his forehead along with the sum o’ his debt
    I’m a son o’ the manse, we oft hear him say with much pride
    He should be hounded oot o’ country and left wi’ naewhere to hide

    What else can one say about a big bag o’ wind?

    Margaret

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