If you thought that the prospect of a 24th of June when you wake up to a UK that’s voted to leave the EU and drag an unwilling Scotland with it was depressing, you’re about to be even more depressed. Donald Trump is coming for tea that day too. Donald Trump, the only man on the planet who’s a greater attention seeking troll craving validation than a right wing Unionist journalist on Twitter, has announced a visit to Scotland the day after the EU referendum.
The reason that the Donald will be getting a fresh rabies shot and a pet passport for his comb over is obstensibly to open his revamped golf resort at Turnberry, or Trumpberry as it’s now called, but really he’s coming to do his mugging toad face impression that passes for a smile if the UK has voted to leave the EU. The American clown with the bad hair who hopes become the leader of his country could be in for a schmooze with the English clown with bad hair who hopes to become the leader of his country.
Climate change denying Donald doesn’t want Scotland to become independent because he fears we’d only go and invest in more wind farms, but he wants the UK to leave the EU because then there won’t be so many wind farms or environmental protection directives which inhibit his ability to build ugly hotels which are as overblown as his hair in sites of natural beauty or value. Although to be honest his hair doesn’t spoil a site of natural beauty or scientific interest, unless his brain is of interest to clinical psychologists. Wind farms spoil the view from his golf resorts and have the potential to muss up that carefully arranged hair. Trump is only interested in what’s good for Trump, and if it’s good for him, chances are it’s bad for the likes of you or me.
If the polls are anything to go by, there’s a very real prospect that the UK will vote for a Brexit. The same polls show that there’s still a large majority in favour of remaining in the EU in Scotland, which is the most pro-EU part of the UK. What Scotland is really going to need in the immediate aftermath of an ill-tempered negative and nasty referendum campaign which has ripped us out of the EU against our will are the soothing words of wisdom of Donald Trump. Donald attracts violent protests, smashing stuff up and starting fights, but then that’s pretty much what the Tories are doing in government anyway.
Although Donald is about as welcome in Scotland as the right wing Unionist journalist at a Scottish Resistance Tunnock’s t-shirt competition, sadly it’s not going to be possible to ban him from the country, or even to make it more difficult to enter. Mind you, we could do that if we were independent, just putting that out there in the hope that it will attract a few more doubters to the independence cause. Although Trump is in favour of stricter border controls for everyone else, when you suggest they ought to apply to him too he gets quite upset about it and says that it’s hateful. It would be quite appropriate if British immigration subjected him to a full body cavity search as he enters the country. Unfortunately this won’t be possible, as they don’t have enough staff to search the vast cavity between his ears which stuffed full of ego.
Donald wants the UK to leave the EU even though he thinks that Brexit is a type of weetabix, probably because he reckons it will look good on the top of his head once he’s lost even more hair and the comb over is no longer viable. He’s keen on Britain leaving the EU because he’s very fond of putting up walls, like the wall he wants to build along the US-Mexican border, and the wall that he’s got in his brain that shields him from reality.
That’s what leaving the EU is all about for the Brexiteers, walls. It’s about putting up a wall between the UK and the rest of the world. It’s British nationalist isolationism, isolating islandism at its very worst, pulling up the drawbridge and retreating into a nostalgic 1950s xenophobia where everyone speaks English and puts up bunting whenever the Queen waves at a commoner. It’s the British version of Trumpism, and it appeals to the same kinds of people in Britain as he does in the USA. A vote from the UK to leave the EU is sticking two fingers up to the rest of the world, and sailing off into a fantasy of Great British exceptionalism that exists only in the minds of Daily Mail editorial writers. That’s not the kind of Scotland most of us want to live in. The reality will be worse working conditions, widening inequality, rampant triumphalist British nationalism and militarism, and turning the UK into a low wage version of the USA only with worse weather, less freedom of speech, and compulsory royalism.
Scotland is expected to sit at the back of the British bus while we have no say about who’s driving it, and they’re driving it to a destination we’ve said we don’t want to go to. That’s the ultimate proof that the UK doesn’t give a toss about what Scotland wants or what Scotland’s people believe to be in our best interests. A valued member of the family of British nations my arse. The EU vote is the last chance for the UK to prove itself to Scotland. If the UK was to drag Scotland out of the EU into the mugging grin of a Donald Trump against the express will of the Scottish people, after telling us that the only way we could remain in the EU was by staying a part of the UK, material changes in circumstance don’t come much more material than that. We’ll have every right to hold another indyref, and this time the Unionists will be trying to defend an isolationist UK that most Scots will have said that we reject.
A British vote to leave the EU might just give Scotland its best chance of escaping from a dying superstate living off its delusions of grandeur and its nostalgia for a past that’s long gone as it tries to impose a single identity on diverse peoples. It’s just that the dying superstate will be the British one. That will wipe the smug grin off Donald’s face.
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Wee Ginger Dug 
“Trumpery – Showy but worthless, delusive, shallow” from Old French, tromper – deceive. Concise Oxford Dictionary. Just about sums him up.
[…] Wee Ginger Dug Escaping from a dying superstate […]
Reblogged this on Bampots Utd.
The joke amongst Ayrshire & Galloway golfers is that Turnberry was going to be renamed,
‘Trump International Turnberry’
Until somebody realised that the initials were maybe a bit too accurate.
Reblogged this on pictishbeastie.
[…] Source: Escaping from a dying superstate […]
Any chance of letting the North of England (or at least Yorkshire) join independence from the South East of England City State which the Independent recently highlighted as the most corrupt city on the planet?
Yorkshire First has been created for that specific purpose, Dave.
Join the gang! 🙂
The whole of the North is welcome to join us as far as I am concerned.
My son and I did the St Cuthbert’s Walk last year, from Melrose Abbey to Lindisfarne.
People we met on the route were asking and saying the same thing – can we join you?
One lady who ran a bed and breakfast we stayed at, said that the border was lower down in reality.
The perfect storm.
It now appears likely that John Bull of Solihull and Fred Froggybasher of Derby are going to vote for England the Sceptered Isle. Today England, tomorrow retake the Empire.
The Leave Lobby is ratcheting up the immigration issues, what with 300 million Wops, Dagoes, Krauts, Froggies, Gyppos, and dusky faced Arabs flooding into England to take all their jobs, council houses, and claim thousands on the Social.
I see Boris wants every insurgent to have command of the English before they set foot on his hallowed turf.
What price the French insist on the English Home Counties retired dentists and CAs settlers in Dordoigneshire paralayin the Francais? Import taxes on their Lee and Perrins wand Watney’s Red Barrel?
Hablos Espanol the English silver colonists in Marbella?
I am more than delighted that we are to have a visit from the Trump.
If the nightmare scenario unfolds, and Boris ascends the British Throne on 24th June following Cameron’s EU disaster, I can think of no greater scenario to accelerate a Second Scottish Independence vote than the Flaxen Haired Twins waving triumphantly for the cameras and assembled Dead Tree Scrollers.
Where would Scotland sit if we were still attached to the Holy London Empire, with Imperator Boris in charge, and President Trump’s finger on the Faslane button come November?
Nah, it couldn’t happen, could it?
Great piece, comme d’habitude, Paul.
NI is the most pro-EU part of the UK, with good reason — they do not want a land border and rely on the EU to have a good working rel with Eire.
Who is this Paul character who can pen what I’m thinking – only with greater clarity than i am thinking it. Stop it. Now! It is disconcerting!
Only joking. Brilliant piece.
These isolationists don’t seem to realise that if we leave the EU, the choice is between turning into a sort of North Korea without the bad hairdo’s and big hats, or becoming the fifty-first state. As Hillaire Belloc put it
“Always keep a hold of Nurse
For fear of finding something worse”
Why would the UK leaving a political organisation of around 50 years or so standing be a disaster, yet Scotland leaving a 300 years plus Union be the best thing since sliced bread? I support Scottish independence because I believe in sovereignty and the process of democracy (i.e. if you don’t like what your political rulers are up to people can get rid of them and change the direction of society).
The idea that those arguments are bogus in the UK context and valid in the Scottish context strikes me as incoherent in the extreme.
Again the idea that the only people unhappy with the dysfunctional EU and its version of TINA (there is NO alternative) are right-wing little Englanders is so lacking in anything that passes for thought as to be risible.
And on top of that if leave wins then intelligent supporters of Scottish independence should welcome it. Boris Johnson and Nigel Farage are excellent recruiters for more Scots to embrace independence.
Trump has nothing to do with it.
“A British vote to leave the EU might just give Scotland its best chance of escaping from a dying superstate living off its delusions of grandeur and its nostalgia for a past that’s long gone as it tries to impose a single identity on diverse peoples. It’s just that the dying superstate will be the British one. That will wipe the smug grin off Donald’s face.”
Yes, Paul, it might but can we be sure enough of the 55% will wake up and vote the right way? I think, sadly for the rest of us, that we’re all going to have take a kicking from the interchangeable Eton Boys for five years, until enough of the Nawbags finally see the light.
Still too many sufferers of Jockholm Syndrome in North Britain, me old cock sparra.
Ooh, where’s me washboard?
Sorry, it’s the pills I got for me referendum noives…
In all seriousness if we are voted out of the EU and that is followed by no prospect of Scotland becoming independent and staying in the EU then I am not sure I want to live in Scotland under those circumstances – a subdivision of a country with only an 8% voice in what that State becomes. The 51st State maybe?
I can see what you mean, it is hard to contemplate even more britnatia rule, while they asset strip Scotland, ruin the environment, remove human rights and take us backwards both economically and socially. I would certainly be looking into a move, especially for my sons. It their futures at stake, and things are difficult enough for our young people.
So the EU is the difference maker in terms of your loyalty to Scotland? Utterly bizarre imho.
Hi Joe – I think you misread me.
I am NOT SURE I want to live in an appendage of a 51st state.
An independent Scotland in or out of the EU is fine by me but I would prefer to be in.
As for questioning “loyalty” – I think that is a dangerous path to tread…
Paul I am kunfoosed and conflicted,
One I want an independent Scotland for about a million reasons, the biggest one is we get to make our own decisions on things that matter to the people of Scotland and
Two we get the government we vote for not one external to Scotland giving us orders from on high.
Remember the guy on the Rickshaw in Buchanan Street that basically said it all for me in the best way possible.
Normally your thoughts/words fit in with my thinking to an incredible degree but here NAW!!!
The Donald has nothing to do with this, a rich ‘allegedly’ non entity who is all about self promotion and who might even become the Presidumb of the USA. Well if they could vote in Presidumb Shrub twice help ma boab seems about right.
BUT how would the UK leaving the EU be a total disaster, yet Scotland leaving our 300 years plus Union is a wonderful thing? I don’t get that.
I totally and for as long as I can remember (I covered the London Tube system with the wee blue – It’s Scotland Oil – stickers in a previous lifetime) support Scottish independence.
Why because I like most people grew up and left home and made my own way in life and I don’t see why Scotland cant do the same thing AND succeed.
YES I am as I get older a socialist, not a rampant extreme one though but see life’s inequalities as something that should be fixed by government certainly not exacerbated and encouraged by government as seems to be the case with almost all modern pollyticians.
I believe in sovereignty and democracy. Yes I want the ability to bin the no users/numpties who seem to see politics as a job for life.
I want, true people power, if you don’t like what our political rulers are up to, the people can get rid of them AND without waiting for the next GE, to truly shape and change the direction of society.
Just now just like the first world war we are simply cannon fodder, lions led by donkeys.
The idea that the Scottish/ UK union and the UK/EU union are totally different things, one good, one bad, seems to me to be wrong headed thinking, totally incoherent and illogical.
How can we of independent minds be happy with one detached dysfunctional set of leaders (the EU) yet unhappy with one closer to home in Westminster.
Not even thinking about one being 300 years old and a con from day one and the other 50 or so years old and increasing proving that power is best left with the people.
Scotland and its people can be Europeans AND Independent AND be a successful country OUTSIDE the EU AND just as easily as being an independent country external to what was the UK.
If leave wins then surely shirley the thinking intelligent supporters of independence should welcome that and get out the popcorn to watch the antics in Westminster knowing that an independent Scotland is getting ever closer.
I think it’s the fact of WHO the dysfunctional set of leaders closer to home are.
The Europeans ones don’t despise and abuse or undermine us to the degree the British have done for 309 years, two months and a fortnight.
Sorry to spoil the party but,but,but ,like the Scotty Ref. fear means Berkshire will vote to stay in Europe.End of.
Mibbees Aye Mibbees naw.
The INS will win it out of fear, New tactics needed like a new currency
Westminster is the “elephant” in the room. Those who in Scotland argue for Brexit must, as they say in Gaelic, “bi glic!” – “be wise!”. The VOW brought no significant powers to Scotland; EVEL means “yous in Jockland have had yer chips”.
To leave the EU lands us with an untrammeled UK aka Ingerland!
Think strategic for once. Out of GB first, even if we are in the EU, it gives us transitional support and access to wider markets. No more Tories! If people think Boris and his chums will be “better together” for us, think again!!
If after we exit the UK regime and in the EU in the interim, then we still have options. But in the UK YOU have NANE! Can you imagine Fluffy as full blown governed general? Or Ruthie in the HoL as unelected SoState? Or Farage in the HoL? That can happen in the UK!!
Bi glic!!
You are so right Paul.
Trumpists and Loyalists/Unionists are exactly the same kind of people.
They have a lack of vision, no dignity, no honour, racist, separatist, truth-denyers, hate-mongers, self-serving bullies, selfish, lacking compassion, triumphalist, Nationalistic, Militaristic etc etc.
If the vote does go Brexit-shaped, it could mean an awful lot of English down south might be wanting real or notional ‘residency’ in Scotland to retain hopes of hanging on to their European citizenship – assuming Scotland manages to go ahead and remain/reapply to stay in the EU. And there might possibly be a claim under human rights law (quickly, before it’s abolished…) to compensate for present and potential future losses incurred by being stripped of that citizenship…