Let’s wave goodbye to the Queen’s Speech

I tried to watch the Commons debate on the Queen’s Speech this afternoon, a parade of vacuousness and entitlement in fancy dress and monarchical waving. Watching Tories in the Commons is like getting drowned in a vat of sewage by some really smug people who think the entire process is an audition for an amateur stand up comedy slot at a public school fete where there’s a prize for the best impersonation of a donkey. All that I could think the entire time was does Davie Cameron not have a face that cries out to be slapped? But saying that probably counts as an example of the extremist radicalism that the Tories want to make illegal. That’s the kind of remark that will get a Home Office drone outside your bedroom window making a note of all the times that you share subversive pics of LOLkats on Twitter.

As well as introducing new measures to crack down on the perfectly legitimate desire to slap Davie Cameron about the chops with a wet fish, the delights of Torydom that we were promised in the speech include a commitment to a British Bill of Rights. We need British rights because common or garden human rights are a bit too humane for the Tory party, and besides, realising that we do in fact share the same needs, desires, and wants as the rest of the human race is dangerously foreign and might lead to demands for a proper living wage, maternity rights, and a decent amount of annual holiday leave because that’s what they get in Germany.

For the Tories, the really great advantage of a British Bill of Rights is that unlike its European equivalent it’s entirely within the power of the Westminster parliament to make changes to it whenever it feels like it. A British Bill of Rights is a Tory Bill of Rights. It enshrines your human rights in the same way that PPI payments protected your consumer rights. The only rights it enshrines are the rights of the Westminster parliament.

The Queen’s Speech came with a raft of measures designed to allow Tory voters not to feel like the enablers of a shower of basterts that they actually are. When you were a wean your maw taught you that you are put on this Earth to help other people, Tory voters are the ones who think other people were put on this Earth to help them. They have the same attitude about governments. Governments are there to help Tory voters get a second house and a second holiday, not to help people who are worse off than they are.

Adoption law will be loosened, and there are plans to turn every school in England into an academy. This was billed as a liberalisation of the education system when in fact it’s an attempt to introduce privatisation by the back door and reduce even further the already diminished power of local authorities. It increases the influence of organised religion and business in schools, and reduces the power of parents.

Reforms of prisons in England and Wales were announced, although the reforms turn out to be plans to build more jails to replace the overcrowded Victorian prisons but not actually to take any steps to reduce the prison population. The UK has one of the highest rates of imprisonment in Europe. But then the private companies who run much of the prison service nowadays have a vested interest in keeping the prison population high while spending as little as possible on the care and rehabilitation of inmates. That’s not going to change as long as we have a prison policy that’s driven by headlines in the Daily Mail and the Express, newspapers which have the same relationship to truth as the Tory party does to compassion and humanity. We shouldn’t be surprised though, this is a country where if you rob from a bank you go to jail, but if you rob an entire banking system you get a peerage and an advisory post with the Treasury. When you’re ruled by thieves and liars theft becomes normal and lies become the truth.

Meanwhile, Jeremy Corbyn’s response to the speech was an exercise in how not to get people engaged with politics. He droned on for approximately the same amount of time that it took for humanity to evolve sentience from apes then de-evolve and lose it again in the Tory party, refusing to allow any interventions from the braying wannabe stand up comedians on the other side. What was needed was a witty, excoriating, and passionate denunciation of the iniquities of Tory rule, and what we got was a presentation from a semi-retired planning officer about the disadvantages of relying on the private sector to implement traffic flow measures in Maidstone. And there weren’t even any graphs. However Jeremy did demonstrate that he cares deeply about his own personal flow and never once gave way. God how we wished that he had done.

I’m sure there were highlights in the Labour leader’s speech, but along with the rest of the country I lost the will to live and stopped paying attention and went off to do something more interesting. Navels don’t defluff themselves you know. The only part of his speech I caught was his announcement that Labour would oppose the devolution of business rates to English local authorities. That’s the Party of Devolution for you, or more exactly, the Party of Saying No to Devolution.

There was bugger all in the Queen’s Speech about Scotland apart from some waffle about completing the process of disembowelling the Smith Commission proposals. Scotland no longer matters to Westminster. As long as they don’t think that we’re about to declare independence, they don’t have to think about us at all. They can leave us to be managed by Fluffy, ignored and sidelined until the next time that they realise with terror that we might just walk out of the UK. Watching the Queen’s Speech only confirms that Scotland is another country, that our concerns are no concern of Westminster, that there is nothing in this sorry charade that speaks to us. The day is coming when Scotland will wave the Queen’s Speech goodbye.

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25 comments on “Let’s wave goodbye to the Queen’s Speech

  1. shemorvena says:

    Looking forward to waving Lizzy Sax Coberg’s speeches away along with her family of benefit scrounges. Ute sooner the better. The assault of Scotland by the Tories has only just begun.

  2. annelawrie says:

    Mrs Windsor’s hat has a coach all to itself.

  3. Cloggins says:

    So? Time for a new queen, this time not related to anything German. It can be anyone, you know. There is no need for a Windsor. Because the Scots are Sovereign. SOVEREIGN. It is so easy to overlook.

  4. Robert Graham says:

    Oh bloody great there goes my early evening entertainment i mean did you have to give the score away , well thats the whole night f/kd now , How in gods name did we ever believe we were part of this Pantomime this total bleedn disneyland experience played out in fool view of the watching world who must think we are a right bunch of idiots .
    Never mind Jackson Carlaw has nicely set the tone of the next session of Holyrood by reporting too SNP MPs to the standards commissioner for impropriety , I wonder if this is the same commissioner who turned both blind eyes when asked to deal with Mr Carmichael’s small indiscretion that cost the taxpayer a reported One Million Pounds , just asking .

  5. Andimac says:

    The day better be coming soon “when Scotland will wave the Queen’s Speech goodbye” because this bunch of self-serving Tory bastards will soon see to it that everything of any value, material or social, has been waved goodbye to as they flog it off to their pals and cronies.

  6. Tinto Chiel says:

    You really are the vilest of vile cybernats, attacking David Cameron, the Conservative Party, the House of Lords, Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II and the Leader of Her Loyal Opposition in one sordid, ill-informed piece of Republican ranting against those very people and institutions which have made Britain great.

    Carry on!

  7. Macart says:

    It can’t be soon enough for me.

  8. Anne says:

    The Queen`s opening of parliament is on yahoo under the heading of `Entertainment`. Quite appropriate I think.

  9. Albamac says:

    Jeremy Corbyn
    Less than absorbin’?

    The Tories couldn’t have prescribed a more efective soporific for Labour’s pseudo-socialists.

  10. […] Wee Ginger Dug Let’s wave goodbye to the Queen’s Speech […]

  11. Has anyone ever noticed that Scots refer not to ‘Queen Mary of Scotland’ but to ‘Mary Queen of Scots’? That’s because legally, the people of Scotland hold sovereignty.

    Our monarchs are their by our leave, not, as in England and other kingdoms, by their will.

  12. John Edgar says:

    As Angus Roberson said we know the nation the one-nation-tories are referring to. England or more precisely Toryland.

  13. Cloggins says:

    Elisabeth the first – and the last – is not queen of Scotland but of Scots. The Scots wanted it that way, it seems – but they may not have asked you for your opinion. Elisabeth the second is queen of England, long may she rule over the Englanders therein.

  14. I note (for the last time) that Scotland 2016 continues to be a nice little earner for the Unionist Dead Tree Scrolls churnalists tonight.

    How many times has Anna Burnside featured, nd her DR co pilot, David Clegg, who allowed himself a wee sleekit murky smirk over the SNP Sex Romp tit bit.
    The Herald for once took a back seat, with the Evening Times’ Stewart Paterson getting a wee boost from my TV licence money to his wages for a change.
    It is becoming a parody of itself , this mutual Unionist jerk off of a show.

    Joffre: She force fed the argument that the total irrelevance to Scotland and its ‘devolved administration’ (not ‘Government’ BTW) of Auld Lizzie’s Speech was the ‘sign of a mature democracy’. Pee.
    Crossing the line between reporter of events to acting as a Unionist mouthpiece comes easy to some whose very livelihood depends on their doggedly not understanding the democratic deficit. Perhaps she should read David Walsh’s Mortality Report?
    On what planet does this Unionist stooge live?

    I’m going to stop giving this farce of a Unionist Propaganda Show the oxygen of publicity: I’ll not be watching or commenting on it again.

    I believe that they are down to a few thousand viewers now, anyway,
    Small wonder.
    Still it’s a nice little earner for the Unionist Dead Tree Scrollers, at my expense of course.

    I see HS has a wee juicy story about a wheelchair bound ex SNP councilor and his wife, allegedly moonlighting as an escort lady, who were the victims of a blackmail scam.
    The Dead Tree Scribes. Cruddy sleazy, and now beyond contempt.

  15. hettyforindy says:

    She who is ‘just a figurehead’ and makes no ‘political decisions’ according to every royalist I have ever met. So they must be fine that she and her hangers on, sit on so much cash, so much land and property while many many people are actually going hungry! The French had the right idea, but we could just put them in a council house and make them take the bus to sign on, in case folks get a bit squeamish.

    These people, in their disgusting clothes and crowns, make me literally sick. They keep the disgusting class system alive and kicking in UKok. The millions south of the border, will wake up one day, and it won’t be pretty.

    Scotland will be free of the clutches of these parasites by then.

  16. Seemingly the promised great British Bill of Rights will underline (no doubt in red, white and blue) Westminster’s sovereignty. Wonder what the SNP MPs might think of that, or the Scottish electorate who believe they are sovereign and not a few upstarts sitting in parliament or on thrones.

  17. diabloandco says:

    Only this morning my Microsoft feed referred to the Queen as ” the Queen of England” and the English are most welcome to them all – but can I keep Harry please ? I have a wee soft spot for him.

  18. Irene Danks says:

    While scudding David Cameron in the coupon with a wet fish will do as an appetizer, the trusty baseball bat or the pool ball stuffed sock will always be the main course.

  19. Gus Coutts says:

    Does anybody know how much yesterday’s pantomime cost – all for the sake of a specch which can’t have lasted for much more than a minute?

    • WRH2 says:

      They could have just put it on HM Gov website and saved even more money. We all knew what was going to be in it, make the rich richer and the poor poorer.

  20. God, I hate this fuckin union!

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