Labour poses as red, Tory vileness is blue: a Valentine’s poem for the Scotland Bill

Labour poses as red, Tory vileness is blue, twin ends on a spanner that want to screw you. When you make someone a promise it’s a moral law that if you renege and treat them like a heid the baw then they’re no longer beholden to the contract you made when you begged and pleaded and prayed that they stayed. Vote No, they said it was realism, and we’d get the nearest thing possible to federalism.

They told us so in a solemn vow, and Jackie Bird gushed that if Scotland kowtowed then we’d enjoy home rule and devo max, three thousand jobs in excise and tax. There would be a secure future for steel and offshore an oil bonanza and gas galore. See Westminster’s zeal to give Scotland all the powers it could ever need for the best of both worlds in which we’d succeed at being a small country punching above its weight thanks to the Parliament that makes Britain great. Our place would be safe in the EU’s embrace, and pensions secure, or so Gordie reassured.

Scotland’s old and afraid complied and obeyed. And all it would take was a little No vote. And now the boot’s on our throat and Holyrood chokes on a Scotland Bill that boaks on the promises sworn. Now watch the Union die unmourned, killed by those who claimed that they loved it, their Valentine’s massacre will bury and shove it into the pages of history books, unlamented, unwanted, its death cooked up by crooks who lied and cheated. They thought we were fools who had been defeated. They thought that they’d silenced the auld sang, but they’re wrang. We’re angry, we’re organised, we’re on the advance while the forces of Union hang like farts in a trance wearing ironic t-shirts of Scottish Resistance. The real Scottish resistance is winning on the streets, while Unionist apologists play games with tweets.

The Scotland Bill is a deceptive piece of crap, not giving Scotland powers but a Westminster trap to make Scots pay twice for Tory cuts slashing the budget making the poor hurt. Conservative austerity is the only guarantee we’ll get from a Union that works for the rich for tax breaks for Google and for royalist kitsch. Three billion quid will be taken from our pockets to pay for London transport and nuclear rockets that blight the Clyde.

The so called powers can’t ever be used. The Scotland Bill’s purpose is to create SNP accused headlines in papers that no one will read, to hamstring Holyrood and let it bleed. And the steel jobs are gone and the tax offices closed, you won’t get a pension until your corpse decomposed. The future stretches out in the bleak years ahead while benefits sanctions add to the toll of the dead. Hand outstretched, beg for a crumb, powerless and supine under the thumb of governments we didn’t vote for, under Tories we despise. Subject to cruel sadistic games and Cameron’s lies. There’s no living in a Union that gives Scotland no respect from Westminster parties that insult intellects.

Respect the referendum cry Westminster’s proteges, but respecting the referendum cuts both ways. It doesn’t mean that Yes voters must forever haud their wheesht. It doesn’t mean that the Unionists have suddenly been released from the promises they made in that final frantic week when they tried to stave off indy with lies and doublespeak. There was a no vote because commitments had been made, and it’s time that the Unionists fulfilled the debts they’ve left unpaid.

Despite its smug condescension Westminster can’t get it all its own way, the Scotland Bill must go to Holyrood so Scotland gets a say. Scotland said no that September, we can say no again, and bring the Scotland Bill shuddering to an ignominous end. Unfit for purpose, unfit for use, an insult to Scotland, as hopeless as Foulkes. We wanted devo max, they gave us a kick in the baws, we can go on the attack and we can say naw. Youse can stick yer Scotland Bill right up yer airse is what to tell the Commons Committee for Scotland’s Affairs.

We’ve got Holyrood elections coming in May when the voters of Scotland can have a say on the lies and deceit that Westminster bleats. Devo max means Scotland controls all its tax, not just the ones that the Westmaniacs think they can use as a weapon of suppression against Scotland’s procession into national normalcy. Home rule means we’re the masters of our destiny, it doesn’t mean fewer powers than a Danish municipality. If home rule doesn’t mean that Scotland gets to define itself it’s merely Westminster ridicule.

In May we can vote for parties that will tell Westminster enough is enough, it’s Scotland’s turn to act tough, to make Labour and the Tories respect the referendum. We’ve got the momentum, their deceptions are unwelcome. They have to deliver what they said was on the table, not to leave us scrabbling for crumbs and a fable of home rule that’s a sop for fools. Deliver your vow, now. Deliver the vow you wanted us to understand not the one that suits you now. We’ll have home rule that’s a fact or every Scotland Act will be sent back. Give what you vowed or there will be a mandate for a fresh indyref and this time Scotland will be uncowed by abuse and threats and scares of debts.

Scotland gave the Unionist parties a second chance that September, but they treated us like fools. We tried to make them remember in May last year not to be cavalier with Scotland’s expectations, but all we got were more machinations. In May we can finish off the job, this is the Union’s last chance to make a stance and dance a Scottish jig. We won’t tolerate any more lies. This time Scotland’s got its eye on the prize, proper powers will be ours or we’ll catch Westminster crooks on an indy hook.

Labour poses as red, Tory vileness is blue, the Scotland Bill is dead and Scotland’s through with you.

Sealed with an unloving Glesca kiss.

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38 comments on “Labour poses as red, Tory vileness is blue: a Valentine’s poem for the Scotland Bill

  1. Neil Anderson says:

    Sealed with an unloving Glesca kiss. That’s pure class by the way. As per, made me laugh out loud after frowning deep over the truths you tell in this article. Splendid, many thanks.

  2. says:

    Reblogged this on Bampots Utd.

  3. Still Positive. says:

    You’re absolutely brilliant when you are angry, Paul.

    Agree totally and with Neil above.

  4. […] Labour poses as red, Tory vileness is blue: a Valentine’s poem for the Scotland Bill […]

  5. allypallykayak says:

    I would love to see you performing that.

  6. Albawoman says:

    Pure dead brilliant!

  7. Itchybiscuit says:

    There’s a brigade out there beyond the foam and the froth who can’t believe it. I’ve spoken to some of my own folk and it goes like this:

    ‘They widnae say that on the telly if it wisnae true, wid they’.
    ‘They widnae print that in the paper if it wisnae true, wid they’.
    ‘The British government widnae say that if it wisnae true, wid they’..
    ‘That fine actor chiel widnae say that if it wisnae true, wid he’.

    And so on and so forth. Why would the establishment lie to them? But see that SNP? Liars the lot o’ them. Sigh.

  8. Hazel Smith says:

    Love it when you’re mad wee dug, telling it Ike it is. A great piece by you as usual.

  9. macart763 says:

    The story of the past seventeen months and recounted in style.🙂

    As for respect the result? No, I’m done respecting a lie. It was bad enough having to accept it.

    Respect, as they say, is earned and the behaviour of Westminster government, their yoonatic media and their establishment party apologists warrants not one iota of respect. They sold us all, YES and NO voter alike into years more hardship and wealth disparity. We should, apparently, thank them for saving us from independence because… oil and, and, and, oil! OH and OIL! Moronic, insulting, self serving pish!

    They betrayed their own electorate for their own self serving reasons, nothing more, nothing less and when that electorate stayed engaged with politics and current affairs? Well that is when their problems began. That electorate has noticed the lack of respect from central government and its political class. That electorate has noticed the failure of campaign pledges made by better together to materialise as fact. That electorate has also noticed the failure of central government and its parties to produce a meaningful constitutional settlement. In fact the settlement they did produce was constructed with only two purposes in mind, the hamstringing of the Scottish government and parliament and the benefit of central government. Oh and that hamstringing? That would be done via piss poor tax powers and fiscal hardship visited upon the public. Win, win for the Westminster establishment.

    To make it perfectly clear. Westminster government, the state, doesn’t give a flying fuck about the social union of peoples and never did. In pursuit of securing ‘state’ interests, it doesn’t care about collateral damage to members of the the current UK electorate. It only cares about maintaining its hold on what it considers its property, end of. Democracy, true democracy is a threat to those interests. Ask Sir Nicky MacPherson about that, seein’ as how he was willing to undermine a democratic process to secure a win for the state, he’d be an expert on the subject.

    So no, I’m not big on respecting those who sell my arse into years of fiscal and political misery. Been there, done that.

  10. (Thunderous applause) .

    That read exceptionally well in a Stanley Odd style!🙂
    Great, hard hitting stuff Paul, square in the Yoons’ baws! Naebody pens it quite like you dae when yer fizzin’!

  11. Rhisiart Gwilymh says:

    The rapper-dug’s on fire, Paul. Tour de goddamned force! Respect and meaty bones!

    And independence soon, thank god. The sooner the damned ukstate goes the same way that its US imperial overlord is going – down the tubes and into the Clyde, face up! – the better. And it can take the goddamned US-controlled Trident obscenity with it too.

    When – not if – Scotland joins the coterie of small sovereign NorthWest European states, and thus gets to inject some serious, glasnostic democracy into its public affairs, Iceland-style, the better the chance for my country – Cymru – to follow suit; and for the poor shat-upon English commons as well. They need liberation too from the fag-end imperial English-raj class who are still running the island of Britain – nowadays as grovelling quislings acting always on behalf of their Washington imperial overlords – and on behalf of their own global wealth-looting City rackets, natch.

    Jesus what a political pissmire all Brits have to suffer at the moment; but not for much longer. As the global successor-powers of the BRICS/SCO bloc continue their unstoppable rise, the US empire is in its terminal nose-dive, and it will take the ukstate with it, thank god.

    Just a little patience, folks. The mills of god – or history – grind slowly, but they grind exceeding small…

  12. FM says:

    Paul. Very good! Next thing I’ll order books.

  13. Rhisiart Gwilym says:

    Don’t know how that h got onto the end of my surname. Me being geriatric, probably. Redundant, anyway.

    Hwyl fawr i bawb!🙂

    • Marconatrix says:

      Hwyl fawr i chi hefyd. Ond beth am Gymru druan wedi i’r Alban gadael yr Undeb? Fe fyddwch chi nôl yn unig yn erbyn Lloegr y Toriaidd. Myfyriwch tipyn am hynny. Rhaid i chi symud ‘mlaen mor gyflym sy’n bosib … Hwyl fawr felly, i’r gad!

  14. Davy says:

    WGD that hit the spot in so many levels, now is the time to start the fight back. That disgrace of a Scottish bill need to be rammed down the bog and flushed, we are so lucky it is the SNP that is fighting our corner, imagine if any of the union parties had a say, they would be signing on the nod with a seat in the House of Lords in their pocket.

    Westminster and the unionist tractors of brown, darling, and alexander have sold our country right down the river, hell mend the bastards.

    Lets demolish those unionist parties in our general election, and send a message to all those self severing tractors and Westminster in general:

    Scotland is not for you to disrespect and fuck-up.

    SCOTLAND is our family , hands off.

  15. david agnew says:

    Since Sep 19th 2014, I’ve felt like I was living in an episode of “In the thick of it” – it has been utterly surreal, leaving me vexed, angry and flabbergasted all at the same time. I have never felt so much disgust at the behaviour of the so called “Unionist” parties – although Labour is now trying to say that they’re not Unionist and the Unionism was invented by the SNP so they could have something to be nationalist about. It’s this level of face blistering stupidity that makes the idea of being “british” seem like some sort of booby prize.

    I’ve watched in amazement at the so called “Proud Scots but…” brigade try to pretend that being treated like the dumbest fucker in the room is pretty cool actually. The idea that could find themselves agreeing with a yes voter that the new powers are shit, would cause their spleens to explode. So they’d rather pretend that they’re extremely happy with everything is playing out according to plan: They’re like a poundland Dr Evil, sneering at us, thinking that they know something we don’t. The truth is that we know something they don’t. We know the union is a busted flush and they truly are the dumbest fuckers in the room.

    So we have to watch Scottish labour’s death rattle drag on and on, wondering why someone won’t just put it out of its misery. We have to put up with the Scottish MSM drag this flyblown corpse around with them, demanding we give it a big sloppy kiss. They have lied, they have sneered, they have smeared. And it has cost them dearly. They remind of Marley’s Ghost “I wear the chain I forged in life! I made it link by link and yard by yard! I gartered it on of my own free will and by my own free will, I wore it!” And it is a ponderous chain my yes voting friends and they labour on it still.

    • Marconatrix says:

      All true. But then you need to distinguish between the con-artists at the top and the many footsoldiers who were simply conned.

      I suspect that as the terrible truth about the Scotland Bill becomes harder to deny (i.e. that’s it’s utter shite), a great many in the NO camp will be suffering from a severe attack of what used to know in the trade as “cognitive dissonance”. That’s when you’re been conned badly, as by a cult or a ponzi scheme, but don’t want to admit it because it amounts to admitting that you’ve made a complete eejit of yourself.

      Insulting people in that state doesn’t help, it makes it all the harder for them to ‘recover’, to recover their sense of proportion and their self-respect. Treat them gently, they’re feeling pretty raw, I’d imagine. And when you get them back onside they will often be your strongest supporters.

      They’ll redirect their anger where it needs to go — against those who conned them.

      • Saor Alba says:

        Sensible comment.

      • david agnew says:

        a fair comment. But my anger is directed firmly and squarely at the “Proud scots but” voters. The #SNPouters, the haters the yoons and the trolls. Those folk you will never win over, no matter how principled the argument or how obvious it is that Scotland is not valued.

        We’ll probably see a lot of soft Yes voters who switched come back to the fold. We’ll see the soft no votes come over when they realise that everything to they were told to fear is happening anyway.

        When it comes around again, and it will. It will seem like a no brainer much like it did in 97. I then we will win probably somewhere in the 70/30 range. There will be a lot of folk who just want to be Northern British, regardless of how they’re treated. Putting their faith in a labour government no doubt.

  16. Gavin.C.Barrie says:

    Timely comment macart763, George Kerevan has an excellent article in today’s National on Nicholas McPherson.

    Such is the arrogance of the Establishment, that I fear the views and democratic rights of the UK populace, are of no consequence to them. The tories have assumed the right to govern on, was it 27% of the vote? And the %age turnout? What kind of representative democracy is that?

    In Scotland the one tory MP Mundell, Secretary of State for Scotland no less, in interviews on the current fiscal framework negotiations, refers to “we” meaning the tory government!

    “Her Majesty’s opposition”, Labour has one MP in Scotland.

    The third largest party, the LibDems have one MP in Scotland also, Carmichael. And still holding his seat in the UK parliament.

    Where oh where is there a trace of recognition of the democratic deficit smugly exercised by the Establishment? Back to Geo. Kerevan’s article – McPherson intervened in the democratic process of the Referendum and not a word of regret or reprimand.

  17. Bugger (the Panda) says:

    Just read a New Statesman piece on Peregrine Worsthorne entitles “The lost magic of England.”

    Two quotations which comes shining through, albeit for a 92 year old man. are the following;

    “I’ve always thought the English aristocracy so marvellous compared to other ruling classes. It seemed to me that we had got a ruling class of such extraordinary historical excellence, which is rooted in England almost since the Norman Conquest.


    This is part of my central theme: the Scots no longer think it’s worthwhile belonging to England.

    Kind of sums us this Toff Class Tory government and their attitude to the Great Unwashed Scots masses.

    Time to let them die and moulder away.

    Sooner the better.

    N S piece

    England is failing, failing in a Neo Con experiment of faux World vanities and barrow boy economics. The boat is going down and they will loot the cargo before abandoning ship, unless we get the lifeboat before they knock holes in it and set it adrift First.

  18. Another great rant, Paul. But at least you have space for your writings in the National. Too many to mention in full, but similar first class comments from macart, David, and BtP. Just jealous as all of you put into words what my feelings are, exactly.

  19. Dan Huil says:

    The union has liars, the vain and the smug: we, the truth, the cause, and Wee Ginger Dug.

  20. norwaywalker says:

    A rapping dug. Who new. Main power the yer bark.

  21. kailyard rules says:

    Rap Dug. Way farther out than Snoop Doggy or Loki Pup. Take a big bow wow.

  22. Saor Alba says:

    Oooooops! I nearly forgot.

    SNP x2 in May

  23. jcd says:

    Dan Huil 11:32 am

    The union has liars, the vain and the smug: we, the truth, the cause, and Wee Ginger Dug.

    Ha Ha brill.

    Rock solid YES all the way,
    SNP X 2 in May

  24. kat hamilton says:

    admire your surmising of the complete and utter farce that we now have thanks to the naysayers. truly wm wants to stitch us up like a kipper, and pretending its being reasonable into the bargain…truly think we are buttoned up the back…think the snp have to be a bit bolder and say a vote for us is kicking the whole thing into touch until we get ffa/devo max..funny how brown has done a disappearing act and not giving us the benefit of his wisdom on the will it play out i wonder….

  25. Patience is a Virtue says:

    ‘And now the boot’s on our throat and Holyrood chokes on a Scotland Bill that boaks on the promises sworn’ – yes its certainly going to get messy in the coming months.

    …the bird seed of the fiscal framework trap is seen for what it is..

    and we thought you cared about us….you said you did….please don’t go and all that.

  26. Janet says:

    Aye, where is Broon and his sidekick Darling?

    Oh well, that’ll be SNP / SNP in May then.

  27. Saor Alba says:

    SNP x2 in May

  28. Jan Cowan says:

    My absolute favourite, Paul!

    “You could sing it if you had an air to it.” An imprecise quote, I’m afraid, since my memory is not what it was…..but you know what I mean.

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