According to an assortment of Unionists who have been greeting their wee eyes out to anyone who will listen, which is pretty much most of the Scottish and UK media, Scotland is a one party state. Most recently the claim that Scotland is a one party SNP state has been made by Adam Tomkins, who’s a Conservative Holyrood candidate in a city with a Labour cooncil. Adam’s penned an article for the Tory magazine the Specator, edited by Frazer Irritable Vowel Syndrome Nelson, written as though it had to be smuggled out of the country on toilet paper from the gulags of Gourock, because there are no media vehicles for Unionism in Scotland, apparently.
But the poor put upon Unionists shouldn’t be too disheartened, after spending the referendum campaign telling Scots that their country was a bit rubbish and incapable of doing anything done by a normal country – like having money or pensions or a health service – they should at least take a modicum of comfort from the fact that if Scotland is a one party state, then it’s pretty rubbish at being a one party state. Scotland is so rubbish at being a one party state that Sturgeon must apologise immediately. Scotland didn’t even make it into the qualifiers for one party stateness, that’s how rubbish at it we are.
In yer normal run of the mill one party state, it does what it says on the tin. There’s the one party, or there’s one dominant party and a number of smaller parties which are licenced franchises of the large one and do its bidding. Scotland fails dismally at the outset here, as there are five parties who have representatives in the Scottish parliament, and considerably more parties which stand during Scottish elections. Far from being puppets of the SNP, these other parties compete against the SNP, and in the case of the Unionist parties their loathing is overt and frequently detailed in the press.
Scotland is so mince at being a one party state that there’s absolutely nothing to prevent parties other than the SNP from being elected. When there are mutterings of electoral fraud it’s invariably supporters of independence who are the ones doing the muttering. Ruth Davidson complained about burly men at a polling station, but these burly men turned out to be as fictional as the compassionate conservatism that Ruth claims to stand for.
And these other parties which the SNP allows to exist because it’s so rubbish at one party statiness represent the entire rainbow of political colours. It’s just unfortunate for the Unionist parties that the colours they represent are fifty shades of skidmark. Sadly for Adam Tomkins and other Unionist apologists who run greeting to the media about how oppressed they are in Scotland’s more than one party state, a country doesn’t qualify as a one party state just because its Unionist parties are so pathetically inept that no one wants to vote for them.
In a normal one party state the governing party has tight control of the media, and stories critical of the ruling party are not allowed anywhere near a printing press or a broadcast studio. Scotland is so rubbish at being a one party state that its ruling party allows the media to gorge itself on SNPbad stories. An SNP MP has a tastefully decorated living room and it’s a story in the papers. In the bitter imaginings of those who keep stating we’re a one party state, the fact there’s a single daily newspaper and a single Sunday newspaper which support Scottish independence means that it’s impossible to criticise the ruling party. Except when one of them has a tastefully decorated living room, or except on every single episode of Reporting Scotland that’s ever been broadcast, and except when the Scottish media goes on one of its regular SNPbaaaad piranha attacks. It could be argued that the media in Scotland does behave like it’s in a one party state, only the state in this case is the Unionist state.
We live in a state where the powerful rush to claim victimhood status. The Unionist establishment which ruled Scotland for so long didn’t complain about a one party state when it was Labour which enjoyed majority rule. Labour’s domination of Scottish politics in the 1980s and 90s was far more comprehensive than the SNP’s is now. They’re not at all happy now that another party has trounced them – and this time under a far fairer voting system.
What really upsets Scotland’s Unionists is that the Unionist status quo is no longer unquestioned and unchallenged. Support for independence is no longer the preserve of a tiny minority which can be sidelined and ignored. We’re here, we’re growing in number, and we’re in their faces and they don’t like it. They don’t like it that the future of their Union which once stretched off into the far distance and over the horizon of decades and centuries, is now to be numbered in a few years at best. They don’t like it that it’s them who are the laughing stock.
And now here were are, at the fag end of Union, and the once mighty British state is reduced to pleading victimhood status in the vain hope that people will vote for it because they feel sorry for it. The mighty British state and its apologists, they don’t want to talk about the havoc that Westminster and its Tory masters wreak and the lives that are sacrified on the altar of austerity, they want to talk about how someone in a wheelchair spat at a journalist, about how an unemployed man called a politician a rude name. This is a state that wants to strip everything from its victims, including their status as victims.
Poor put upon Unionists, even the fact that they’re so rubbish that they can’t get anyone to vote for them is all the fault of the evil SNP. They’re never going to cease telling anyone who will listen that they’re the real victims, as they rob the poor, dispossess people on housing benefit, and demand that paralysed people pass work assessments. We don’t have a one party state, but what we most definitely do have is a dumb carpy spate of Unionists whose definition of being well balanced is to have a fish supper on each shoulder.
And finally, on a personal note – today it is two years exactly since I started this blog. There have been laughs, there have been tears, but it’s always been an adventure. I’d like to thank all my regular, and not so regular, readers for giving me a reason to get up in the mornings. Here’s to many more years to come.
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