The worst Star Wars movie ever

It’s been yet another craaaaaazeeee day in the House of Commons, which is the new baseline for normality in British politics. We had Prime Minister’s Questions, the first for Prime Minister Lyin’ Bastert Johnson, only he seemed to be operating under the misapprehension that Prime Minister’s Questions meant that he got to ask everyone else questions instead of, you know, answering them honestly. But then if Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson answering a question honestly were a concept which had a solid physical form, the nearest that it would ever get to entering his head would be by orbiting a galaxy one billion light years distant.

In recent years PMQs has been a waste of time, a ritualistic exercise in which the format of questions and answers was adhered to, but with none of the actual content. Theresa May used it as a weekly opportunity to suck all the vitality and joy out of every life form between here and the concept of Boris Johnson answering a question honestly. LBJ has decided to use it as a forum for exchanging adolescent jokes and insults. He didn’t even bother to make a nodding acquaintance with the concept of answering the question in any shape or form, never mind answering it honestly. If he manages to cling on to power, this will be the future of British politics.

PMQs was just the warm up act. The star of today’s show was the Rebel Alliance Strikes Again, the shittiest Star Wars movie ever – and that includes Attack of the Clones. Jacob Rees Mogg does bear a startling resemblance to C3PO, come to think of it. Has anyone ever seen them in the same room together? No? Hmmm. Anyway, having successfully wrested control of parliamentary business from the Government yesterday, today MPs introduced a bill aimed at forcing the Prime Minister to ask the EU for an extension to Article 50. It was virtually certain that the bill was going to pass, since the Government had removed the whip from the 21 Conservative MPs who voted against LBJ yesterday, meaning that the Government wishes that it was as close to being within reach of a majority as LBJ is to the concept of answering a question honestly.

Emboldened by yesterday’s events, an additional Conservative MP voted against the Government today. The bill passed by 329 votes to 300, and was sent to the House of Lords. The timetable is very short, and the bill needs to become law by the end of the week, as LBJ is still planning to prorogue Parliament next week. All bills which have not finished their passage to the statute books by then will automatically fall.

However it was not all plain sailing for the Rebel Alliance. We discovered that there are indeed new depths of incompetence to which British politicians can fall. Labour MP Stephen Kinnock, son of 1980s Labour leader Neil Kinnock who snatched defeat from the jaws of victory, managed to throw LBJ a lifeline of sorts in the form of an amendment which attaches a condition to the request to the EU for an extension to Article 50. Stephen wants Theresa May’s deal to be debated yet again, and his amendment means that when the British Government requests an extension to Article 50 it will ostensibly be because the Commons wishes to debate the deal again. Stephen inherited his dad’s uncanny knack of snatching defeat from the jaws of victory, so much so that it’s rumoured that if he ever leaves politics he’ll be offered a position managing the Scotland football team.

The amendment passed due to a bit of chicanery on the part of the government, which failed to put up any tellers for the vote, meaning that the amendment passed automatically. And it was all so that Stephen could go to his leave voting constituents and tell them that he’d tried to get a Brexit deal. However legal advice received by the Labour party after the amendment was accepted says that the practical effect of the amendment is very limited. All it really achieved was to muddy the waters somewhat and allow Lyin’ Bastert Johnson to snatch a small victory from the jaws of defeat. Stephen’s dad famously fell in the sea when he was taking part in a photo op. Stephen is so spectacularly useless that if he fell in the sea, he’d miss.

The government denies that it deliberately didn’t put up tellers in order to get the amendment to pass. Since everything that comes out of the government’s mouth these days is a big fat lie all the denial really tells us is that they probably did do it deliberately. Although since the deal contains a version of the backstop that the government can’t accept, it might – just might – possibly – potentially – be that they’re actually telling the truth this time. That’s how far through the mirror into the topsy turvy land of opposites that we’ve fallen here. It could even end up that the deal that was defeated by the Commons three times could end up passing by accident.

With the bill having been passed by the Commons, the Government then tried to get the House to agree to a motion calling for a General Election for 15 October. MPs were not disposed to let LBJ get his way, since it’s widely believed that he’d use a General Election to allow a no-deal Brexit by default, and no one trusts him not to change the date of the election using the Royal Prerogative after the Commons has agreed to it. Under the terms of the Fixed Term Parliament Act, the Government needed to get a two thirds majority. That was never going to happen. No one wants to enable LBJ.

The vote was 56 against, and 298 in favour. Most MPs abstained since it was always clear that there was never any prospect of the Government winning the required two thirds majority. Even though the noes were heavily outvoted by the ayes, the motion failed because it didn’t get the support of two thirds of the house. Labour, the SNP, and the Lib Dems had all said that they will not support another election until no deal is off the table. What was interesting is that the Government lost the support of two more of its own MPs. He’s only had to face the Commons for a few days, and he’s already bled away the support of an average of 8 of his own MPs for every day. There are people who accidentally cut their carotid artery who bleed to death more slowly.

He’s only had three days during which he’s had to face MPs, and already LBJ administration is spinning out of control. In that lack of control he is simply joining the rest of us. I have no idea what will happen next. Neither does anyone else. This is the security and stability of the UK that was promised to Scotland in 2014. This is the gold standard democracy that Scotland was told it relied upon. It bears less of a resemblance to a gold standard than a foil covered stale chocolate coin. At least you can eat chocolate. British democracy just makes you feel sick to your stomach.


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31 comments on “The worst Star Wars movie ever

  1. Interpolar says:

    Meanwhile Ruth Davidson’s Parcel of Rogues standing-up-for-Scotland MPs have fully understood who their true masters are and faithfully voted with and for LBJ and against their constituents’ interests. Even humiliated Fluffy, the establishment’s model Proud Scot, didn’t retrieve the dignity to do anything remotely principled for once.

  2. Millsy says:

    If he sight of Jacob-Reese – Mug recumbent on the benches in the Mother of Parliaments was the last straw for anyone who has put their faith in Westminster ahead of an Independent Scotland , then the stream of lies issuing from the gob of the Rt Honourable BawBag, the PM, would be the last nail in the coffin of the unlamented Union . R.I.P.

    • Petra says:

      Worst still Millsy there’s a video doing its rounds of Mogg lolling around on the front benches as his mate IDSmith sits on the back benches picking his nose and ****** it. Crucial debate. Crucial vote but who cares? I’m not going to post the video on here, as I don’t want to turn anyone else’s stomach, as it did mine.

      This is the crew that many English people (and some Scots such as Tory politicians) seem to find acceptable, more so to hold in high regard. Happy to see the dross of humanity running the country. Just reminds me of stories that I’ve read of the narcissistic sense of entitlement, arrogance, indolence and filthy habits of Hitler and Mussolini. Not exactly the calibre of people that we’re expecting to be at the forefront of leading an Independent Scotland.

  3. Welsh Sion says:

    Ian Blackford is on Peston tonight – just started.

  4. […] Wee Ginger Dug The worst Star Wars movie ever It’s been yet another craaaaaazeeee day in the House of Commons, which is the new […]

  5. Petra says:

    Thanks for another extremely succinct, informative article Paul. A big thank you too for all of the fantastic work that you do (have been doing over many years now) on behalf of (people like me) the Independence cause. Can’t thank you enough in fact.

    This current utterly shambolic, political situation, overall horrendous, just highlights clearly that this bunch of undemocratic, lying, corrupt chancers at Westminster have existed, dictated and exploited, for centuries now due to their narcissistic natures and unwritten constitution. Unwritten because no one, over time, has been smart enough to merge the Scottish and English (only Kingdoms comprising the UK) legal systems. Thanks of course to our extremely intelligent and astute Scottish ancestors. People who could surely see then what we can see now.

    This Westminster, rotten to the core, political system is over and out, however as a Scot I don’t care to hang around to see how it totally disintegrates, evolves (maybe) and in turn heals, if it ever does. I want out of this disfunctional Union, ASAP. To do so we have to, IMO, support Nicola Sturgeon / the SNP at the forthcoming general election (without 16/17 year olds and EU national votes) and if poll findings are correct the successful results, for us, will send a clear message to Westminster, more so to the EU, UN and … Scots. Then we proceed to holding a referendum following the much needed informative data, such as your own Ginger book Paul, SNP literature (to every household), Wee Blue book, new White Paper, etc, being disseminated right across Scotland.

    As we disseminate our information “others” will also disseminate theirs. So who are the “others”? Worth finding out and keeping an eye on them I’d reckon, especially if they seem to be on our side. Individuals at the forefront of a political party, or whatever, are often being controlled by someone who’s actually pulling their strings (with someone even more powerful pulling theirs). This comes about due to a multitude of reasons from the front person’s lack of confidence to being threatened, blackmailed or being coerced for reward.

    One example of this right now is the case of the toxic Dominic Cummings, advisor to Johnston. Let’s hope that Cummings ignores this summoning letter and finds himself being frogmarched out of the Commons by armed Police, as was the case in relation to the young, female Tory advisor, at Nazi Cummings behest.

    https://mobile.twitter.com/IanCLucas/status/1169283023419924481

  6. Bob Lamont says:

    There will doubtless be further dirty tricks to come from Team Cummings/Johnson, the Lords are their next defence in this stupid game of so called sovereignty, and you can bet MSM will all be singing in chorus from Team C/J’s hymnbook today…
    Johnson, Gove, Rees-Mogg and IDS have been at their most sneering arrogant of late, but at least Corbyn got coordinated on “No Deal” and twigged to the election trap. That this ruse was so clumsy and obvious is not like Cummings, likely a further trap lies behind the appearance of this coordinated success. Hopefully cooperation holds together as the next move appears.
    Meanwhile VoteLeave/Mirage et al are piling on the Facebook rhetoric (I have a friend who is a “target”), which repercussion may turn nasty. Those seeking to protect their stash will stop at nothing to manipulate popular political will, and what is profoundly worrying is their success in sowing the unshakeable belief of otherwise intelligent people that there is a “Remainer conspiracy”. Parliament trying to force a Deal to enable Brexit simply fails to penetrate the “belief” or rhetoric, and if the Jo Cox tragedy taught us anything it was the susceptibility of some to carry out horrendous acts while those who generated the atmosphere absolve themselves of any responsibility.
    There was a good if wooden Ted talk on the Facebook issue a few months back, … https://youtu.be/OQSMr-3GGvQ
    Difficult beyond a GE to see where SNP can go on Indy2, this farce is swamping all else…

  7. Tol says:

    Paul

    I think you may have mixed up your StarWars movies.

    Don’t fall for the ruse of the half-finished Death Star is fully operational.

  8. Cubby says:

    “British democracy just makes you feel sick to your stomach”

    It certainly does.

    It also makes me feel sick that so many Scots vote to be governed by this system.

  9. Eilidh says:

    If we are equating this mess to Star Wars movies I would say that Jar Jar Binks had more sense and humanity than Bojo. He also had better diplomatic skills too

  10. Macart says:

    Well said Paul.

    I’d say that what we’ve been witnessing for quite some time, is the normalisation of deceit.

    That it becomes acceptable as a strategy, not just for the political class, but to the public. That WE find it acceptable to dump on each other. That it’s okay to lie to each other. That it’s just peachy to manipulate, misrepresent, sow discord and mistrust in society, because that’s how you do business. Uh Huh! Just business, (just so long as my tribe wins something), and there won’t be any fallout or collateral damage. Honest guv’nor.

    Except… there is.

    It begins with trust and works its way on up the food chain of worthy human traits from there. Care, empathy, mercy, selflessness, courage. You name it, they’ll all take a battering. When we can’t trust our administrators and representatives, our institutions, or each other. What is there left that’s worth having? The win?

    What Westminster’s political practices, (both historic and current), have taught us, is how NOT to conduct your politics. How NOT to administer for those in your care. How NOT to treat those who pay your damn wages.

    Probably worth remembering, like.

    • Jim Morris says:

      Questions for all candidates if there is a GE : do you know the truth? If answer is Yes – supplementary question : are you telling us the truth? If answer is No – why should we trust you with our government?

    • bringiton says:

      HM Press have a lot to do with this situation.
      We need a Free press which will genuinely hold the executive to account,not a bunch of sycophants whose paymasters are in bed with the establishment.

    • JGedd says:

      A very astute analysis, Macart. There has been a steady winnowing out of those ideals you mention – compassion, empathy etc. Instead there has been a creeping cynicism encouraged and a rampant individualism reflecting the media message which drives people to an unthinking and irrational consensus based on that most ancient of human fears – detestation of ‘those-not-like-us.’

      Add to that the discrediting of politicians, for which they have themselves been responsible and a subsequent manufactured helplessness engendered in the electorate and you have a situation ripe for the expoitation by the likes of ruthless operators like Al Johnson and his chum, Cummings. This is very much a public schoolboys’ Game of Thrones scenario and ordinary people have been drawn in, having lost all faith in their own institutions.

      No wonder there is a crisis. The whole edifice is crumbling in front of our eyes. Those of us who knew it was rotten are not really surprised. But I’m sure Al and Dominic have been studying their ancient history and more recent developments in certain other democracies in Europe. Cummings, who is a fan of Bismarck, can spot an opportunity I’m sure. A time for demagogues and their allies to harness the ancient warhorses of the social id and ride, Let’s hope they fall off on their a****.

      • Macart says:

        Almost ironic…

        The very qualities and institutions they’ve spent so very long undermining in pursuit of their game? I’m guessing they’re going be needing them quite soon, if things work out the way I think they will.

  11. Luigi says:

    Aye, and like the Star Wars franchise, WM has become very old, tired, and bereft of ideas and competent players. Like the mother of all intergalactic movies, it is well past its sell-by date. Those in absolute power have finally over-reached themselves. It’s only achievement since 2014 has been to leave a foul taste in one’s mouth.

  12. orri says:

    https://www.instituteforgovernment.org.uk/explainers/proroguing-parliament

    “Any bills that have completed all their parliamentary stages at the point Parliament is prorogued, but have not yet been given Royal Assent (needed for a bill to become an Act of Parliament), receive Royal Assent as part of the prorogation ceremony. During the ceremony, the Clerk of the Crown announces each bill to receive Royal Assent. As each bill is announced, the Clerk of the Parliament then declares “Le Reyne le veult” (the Queen wishes it in Norman French), signifying Assent has been given.”

    So rather than ensuring any bill that is only waiting Royal Assent is dropped the imminent proroguing ensures that Johnson can’t delay Assent.

    Which in turn means that he’s stuck with doing his best to prevent a No-Deal Brexit during the shutdown.

    Which means that when they come back he’s in a situation where it’d be illegal to do so.

    Rather than prolong the agony Kinnock is highlighting the only way to obtain an exit on the 31st with a Deal and that is to vote for May’s one. The essential difference this time is that the DUP alone can’t give the Government a majority regardless of how much horse trading is done. Their objections have become irrelevant which means the backstop is no longer the issue it was.

    Remember that it’s like a WMD meant never to come in to effect. The same as any pre-Brexit deal is meant to be in the context of the future relationship between the EU and the departing member.
    The UK could always have accepted the deal on that basis and withdrawn later if the promises it was given from the EU weren’t kept.

    • orri says:

      Also,
      If Johnson fails to have his Queens Speech pass then precedent has him fall on his sword. No vote of confidence needed. He simply fucks of and lets another party or coalition take charge. No pissing about for 14 days either.

      Normally this happens after an election but it could, and perhaps should, happen every year thereafter.

      I’d like to think the Queen knew this and agreed so as to have an excuse to sack the sod.

      • Luigi says:

        Precedent went out of the window long ago. BJ respecting precedent? Come on! We are way offshore in unchartered waters. BJ could well hang o0n until the bitter end. Same with Corbyn. Their enemies and wouild be replacements may yet be disappointed. 🙂

        • orri says:

          The resignation is the equivalent of being given a gun and bullet whilst in prison and being expected to do the honourable thing.
          I suspect if he doesn’t the Queen will dismiss him for wasting her time on a completely pointless visit to Westminster and embarrassing her.

  13. Luigi says:

    Oh Dear. Those one nation, red, yellow and blue British nationalists are not a happy bunch at the moment. They are getting constitutioanlly squeezed out of existence by the English nats (Brexit) on one side and the Scottish Indies on the other. I always thought that English nationalism woyuld finally kill off British nationalism, but now I think a painful, crushing death will result from pressure applied on both sides.

    So much constitutional turmoil at the moment. Noone can predict the actual course, but I think we can have a good idea where it will all end, eventually. There is no going back now – too much blood has been spilled, too much offence. Britain will never be the same, despite what false hopes the one-nation unionist believers may desperately cling to. No, folks. Humpty John Bull is broken and nothing can put him together again. 🙂

  14. Bob Lamont says:

    Following this article I kept recollecting the spoof version, and wondering if Theresa and friends were reworking the line “May the Schwarz be with you…”
    How the “Mars Attacks” Cummings character could be reworked into the script is an intriguing thought.. Anybody have Mel Brooks number…?

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