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If you ever needed evidence about Boris Johnson’s poor judgement, you only had to learn that he’s selected Ross Thomson as his Scottish campaign manager and advisor on Scottish matters to have your worst suspicions amply confirmed. Actually, if you needed evidence about Boris Johnson’s poor judgement, you must live in some alternate universe where Boris Johnson is an artificial life form created from the very best genes of Mahatma Gandhi, Helen Keller, Nelson Mandela, Albert Einstein, Marie Curie, and Bez from the Happy Mondays. In this universe he’s an artificial life form created from an abandoned mattress, a bin fire, and an Eton education.
Boris Johnson is a politician who has as many enemies within his own party as he has outwith it. There are already rumours and threats that his premiership could end up as the shortest on record, and Conservative remainers are lining up to tell the media that they might consider voting down a Boris Johnson government. There are legions of Conservatives MPs who long for nothing more than getting close to Boris Johnson, just so that they can knife him in the back, or even the front. Michael Gove is the least of his worries. When, Carrie Symonds permitting, Boris Johnson becomes the next Prime Minister, he’s going to want to ensure that he’s surrounded by people he can trust.
One Scottish Tory MP has supported Boris like a demented fanboy since the very beginning. He’s been seen hanging about outside rooms where the man he stans is speaking in the hope that he’ll be noticed. There’s been no one more faithful to the Borisocracy than Ross Thomson, unless you count a small and not very bright dog slabbering on your lap. Which is also a good description of Ross, come to think of it. David Mundell, who hasn’t resigned yet, might find that he doesn’t need to resign after all, because he’ll be sacked. We’re facing the very real possiblity of living in a UK where Boris Johnson is in Number 10, Nigel Farage heads the party that leads in the opinion polls, and Ross Thomson is the Secretary of State for Scotland, the triumvirate of trash.
Things are so bad that there’s been a Broontervention for the very first time. Again. The Gordosaur has weighed in, speaking before an invited audience of people who’d signed a sworn statement to treat him with the reverence due to the Second Coming of Jesus. Gordie doesn’t actually walk on water, but he does pace up and down the carpet and that’s the next best thing. Afterwards he answered some questions that had been submitted in advance and pre-approved. Gordie doesn’t do critical audiences or submit to random questioning. He’s very like Boris Johnson in that respect. Then without a smidgeon of self awareness he told us all the things that have gone wrong with British politics as though he wasn’t responsible for any of it.
It’s all the fault of the Tories for their narrrow nationalism. It’s all the fault of Boris Johnson for undermining Scotland’s place in the UK and threatening the Barnett formula. It’s all the fault of the SNP for their “hard independence”, which is a new thing that only exists in the Brooniverse. Hard independence doesn’t actually exist, it’s just Gordie’s rhetorical attempt to draw an artificial equivalence between the hard Brexit being purveyed by Boris Johnson and Scottish independence. It’s like drawing an equivalence between an iceberg and a lifeboat.
Gordie railed against Boris Johnson as a purveyor of “narrow, dogmatic nationalism.” Because when Gordie ripped off a slogan from the far right and traipsed about the land promising “British jobs for British workers” that wasn’t narrow and dogmatic nationalism at all. Demanding that other people are held to standards that he himself doesn’t have to live up to is the very essence of Borishness. It might not be a lesson that the Conservative leadership candidate learned from Gordie Broon, but it’s certainly a practice that Gordie is as much a master of as any Eton schoolboy with a sense of entitlement.
The Union is under threat! Railed the man who’d vowed solemnly to the people of Scotland that he personally was going to ensure that the parties in the Better Together campaign were going to fulfil the promises and commitments that they made to the people of Scotland in order to secure the No vote in 2014, and then he buggered off in a sulk and did nothing while Labour, the Tories, and the Lib Dems played devolution jenga in the Smith Commission. He said nothing when the British government sought a court ruling to establish that one of Gordie’s key vows – that no Westminster government would change the powers of Holyrood without Holyrood’s consent – had no force in law. He said nothing when the British government used Brexit as an excuse to unilaterally undermine the devolution settlement. He said nothing when it was revealed that the Tories are seeking to wrest control from Holyrood and have UK government departments spend directly in areas of devolved competence.
The union is under threat. You don’t say Gordie, you don’t say. It’s all the fault of the Tories. It’s all the fault of the SNP. It’s all the fault of everyone except the man responsible for the Vow who then walked away from the commitments and promises that it contained. It’s the fault of everyone except the man who swore to the people of Scotland that he’d stand up for their interests and would personally hold the political establishment to account, and who then swanned off and washed his hands. Even Pontius Pilate took more responsibility.
Maybe, just maybe, if the former Prime Minister faced up to his own role in putting the Union at threat he might be a more credible advocate for saving it, but as things stand even BBC Scotland is finding it difficult to work up much enthusiasm for his self-serving pronouncements. The lead item on the lunchtime news from Pacific Quay was that there had been a lot of rain in Stirling. When the Scottish news leads with a story that it has rained in Scotland instead of telling us that Gordie has been Broontervening again, you can take that as a sign that even BBC Scotland knows that any influence Gordie Broon once had has been washed down the drains.
The reason that the union is under threat is because successive British politicians don’t take responsibility for their failures, and within the UK the people of Scotland have no means of holding them to account. If Gordon Brown really wants to understand why the UK is on the verge of dissolving, why the charlatan Boris Johnson is arranging the removal vans to move into Number 10, he could start by taking a long hard look at himself in the mirror.
The UK ship of state is sinking because its short sighted and self-serving political class deliberately sailed it into the iceberg of Brexit. Scottish independence is the lifeboat.
Wee Ginger Dug 
Reblogged this on Ramblings of a 50+ Female.
Superb as ever. Though Bez was in The Happy Mondays, not the Stone Roses 🙂
So he was. Fixed it now.
Was this a typo, WGD? 😉
” … the very essence of Borishness.”
Could just as easily read,
” … the very essence of Bo(o)rishness. ”
Yours,
No, it’s deliberate.
I know – hence the wink. But you could always use my alternative, as well! (Engaging smile).
Yeah but with your alternative the joke doesn’t work.
The interplay between Boorishness, Boris Highness, etc., almost sprayed tea on the wall..
He is simply a buffoon, a liar, and for the pet of the UK dangerous
Sorry, ‘pet’ was meant to be ‘people’
Freudian Slip unless living in Newcastle etc.? They are all fundamentally dangerous, the Blue-Rinse Ugly Pageant finalists the most dangerous of all. Much speculation in the Press that Johnson could be the shortest PM in British history. Toulouse Lautrec had greater gravitas than Toulouse le Zipper… 😉 Merde
Mr Brown and his speech today did get quite a bit of coverage in the Herald – paper edition – today albeit as part of a story about the Tory candidates and their claims of threats to the Union etc.
From one of the quoted sections of Mr B’s speech he seems to be adopting the lexicon of Brexit to tar the drive for independence with the Brexit negativity.
The quote from his speech was: “It [ the Union] is under threat from the SNP’s recent but little-publicised shift from a soft to hard version of independence with the abandonment of the pound and their desire to leave the UK single market and customs union”
Where to start with that?
Realising their panic ?
How do they tell lies like that with a straight face?
When the lie comes ‘oh but Scotland trades 4 times as much with England than it does with the EU – however will you survive’.
We need to get the answer in hard and fast, ‘Aye and a big chunk of what we sell ye is Electricity, what are you going tae to, sit round a candle’.
We can get this one in for starters.
And for seconds, ‘a hard version of Indy, with the abandonment of the pound’.
‘That’ll be our pound that you forbade us to use the last time, and now Westminster has devalued it with Brexshit you want us to stick with it – wasn’t ScotGov who ruined it now was it, it was the incompetent shysters in London, not really an advert for their competence is it.’
Cheerie.
Things must be at a dangerous level if the dinosaur is released and it’s not reported on BBC Scotchland!
We haven’t even had the start of a campaign yet. Lordy, yeah Labour isn’t getting the radioactive doomonger out if everything was going swimmingly.
Wake me when we get another vow or promise or anything written on parchment.
On second thoughts… 😀
The problem that Broon and his Better Together cabal now have is that their promises on reform of the “union” were lies and that New Labour’s devolution was also a lie.
Lies,damned lies and New Labour.
Scots will not be taken in by his ilk again.
For those who were mesmerised by the false promises, “demo-max” et al, there is a grudge. For those who saw a righteous cause and new start dismantled by false promises in 2014, there is grudge. The old saying, never take revenge but remember the bastard’s name could never be more appropriate with Gordon Brown.
Devolution was perceived as the death knell of Independence, it didn’t quite go to plan and now even English regions are clamouring for the same having seen what Holyrood have done.
Whatever the Eton clique’s plans are for devolution, it will be met with a wave of anger farther afield than Scotland, and pity help the clown who tries….
Have checked bank balance and away to donate. Thanks again for all you do.
O/T
Been reading Lochside’s comments over on Wings re Loch Lomond – Flamingoland development. Very very concerning.
One aspect might be that the proposed development is a red herring and will exist only long enough for them to put up staff accommodation (which would by pass the planning restrictions in such an area). This ‘staff accommodation’ would likely be curiously high end, delux, millionaire residents status, and ‘have’ to be sold off at the wrapping up of the project. For significant amounts of money for each.
This MO is being used quite regularly throughout Scotland’s beauty area’s. Taymount Castle being one example. The 6 Star Hotel Plans didn’t come to anything.
If anyone sees Lochside – if they could make him aware.
Park of Keir development near Stirling too. A lot of local objections. Council turned it down. Developers appeal. Inquiry. Reporter said it should be turned down. SG Minister gives it go-ahead. SNP lose seat at GE in 2017.
I wonder how so many other Commonwealth countries manged to have a ‘hard independence’ by adopting their own currency ? Why did the UK allow it ?
Did anyone bother to tell Gordon ?
” …. he (Broon) could start by taking a long hard look at himself in the mirror.” ….. no point Paul, just like the undead, he has no reflection …. either as the undead or even as the living