Great British Nessie farming

Well that didn’t last long did it. A deal which it took members of the Conservative cabinet two years to strike was trashed by the EU in as many weeks. This is what happens when you have a UK government which is more interested in negotiating with itself about an unrealistic fantasy of Empire 2.0 than in dealing with the realities of the UK’s status as a middle ranking European nation which needs friends and close allies in order to survive and prosper.

It’s a bit like if you and your significant other have a long and protracted argument about buying a Nessie farm. You fall out over whether to have the ponds in stables attached to the house, or in a separate building. One of you spends weeks sleeping on the sofa, and huffing every time the other comes into the room. At dinner, you tell the cat to ask your partner to pass the salt. Eventually you and your spouse come to a torturous agreement with one another, and decide on premises which are magically suspended in the air. You want your own part of the property to have six en-suite bedrooms, set deep in the countryside with stunning views over St Kilda from a hilltop near Pitlochry, and superfast broadband that also allows you to teleport to Glasgow and Edinburgh.

Then you go to the bank for a mortgage and tell them that you don’t want to spend more than what it would cost to buy a 1998 Ford Fiesta. However as a sweetener, you can put down a deposit of 37p, a 5 eurocent coin that you found down the back of the sofa, a voucher offering 20% off a purchase of a family sized bucket of chicken from KFC, and a collection of dog-eared Oor Wullie albums with several pages missing, all of which date to long after the death of Dudley D Watkins when they got a bit crap. You make sure to tell the bank that they depend on your custom. Then you get all annoyed when you’re turned down, and you blame it on foreigners.

To everyone who knows that you can’t buy Nessie farms, even Nessie farms which have the crappy 2mb broadband that much of rural Scotland suffers with, EU chief negotiator Michel Barnier’s refusal to countenance Theresa May’s Chequers plan comes as no surprise. To supporters of Brexit however, it’s all just part of a vile EUSSR plot to do Britain down, one which is aided and abetted by treasonous non-believers in Nessie farming who form a traitorous fifth column of elitists within the UK. That would be folk like me then. I plan to spend a part of my elitist day elitistly shopping in Morrisons in Easterhouse before returning to my elite flat up an elite close in the East End of Glasgow, that well known nest of the global elite. That’s how crazed British politics have become, merchant bankers, millionaires, Eton-educated indolents with a sense of entitlement the size of a planet, hedgefund managers, and stockbrokers tell ordinary people that they are challenging the elite. Brexit hasn’t just removed a grounding in reality from the British political system, it has destroyed any semblance of common sense.

Brexit has produced so many surreal moments, but surely one of the most surreal is the likes of Eton educated millionaire hedge fund managers such as Jacob Rees Mogg characterising the likes of a working class comprehensive school educated blogger from the East End of Glasgow as a member of an out of touch elite. There’s fake news, and then there’s standing reality on its head. But then the British state these days is the leading exponent of the politics of the demented, and there’s some pretty stiff competition globally.

To seriously put forward a no-deal Brexit as a sensible, indeed desirable, policy is a sign that the British political establishment has become completely unhinged. So unhinged in fact that a Nessie farmer could slag it off for mythological thinking. The fact that a no-deal Brexit is even being considered is a symptom of the terminal illness that afflicts the UK political system. The UK is a state which has been unable to come to terms with the fact that it is no longer a global superpower, no longer the possessor of a huge empire, no longer capable of asserting its might on the rest of the world. It is a state that spends its days in an incontinent reverie, daydreaming of glories long past, glories that only ever benefitted a tiny proportion of the population.

Not so long ago, it was the opponents of Scottish independence who claimed that the independence movement was based in magical thinking, in romantic fantasy, and in unrealistic expectations. Now we know that is really a property of British nationalism, not its Scottish variety. Scottish nationalism does indeed dream, but its dreams are about looking to the future, not to the past. And it is founded in a realistic view of Scotland as a small European nation which must build friendships and alliances.

The Scottish debate is not a debate between nationalists and non-nationalists, however much opponents of independence would like us to believe. The real blood and soil nationalists, the xenophobes, the outright fascists, the bigots and supremacists, they’re overwhelmingly on the anti-independence side of this debate. Opponents of independence don’t get to tell us that they oppose independence because they don’t like nationalism, not while they defend the British state and the nationalism that it embodies.

The Scottish debate is a debate between two visions of Scotland, one founded in a realistic view of Scotland and its potential in the world, the other founded in the tortured dreamscape of British nationalists who are still grieving for an empire that’s long gone. Only one of those visions allows the people of Scotland to decide for themselves which path this country should take. Only one of those visions allows the people of Scotland to have a voice. Only one of those visions is Nessie farming, and it’s not the one that looks to an independent Scotland. Only one of those visions allows us to sell Scotland to the world as Scotland, and not plastered with a Union fleg as a Great British loch monster. Independence is Scotland’s escape route to reality. Let’s take it.


GINGER2croppedIt’s that time of year again. It’s been a year since I last did a fundraiser. This year is going to be a particularly expensive one for me personally. There’s a wedding to pay for, and I need to ensure that my earnings are sufficient to prove to the Home Office that I am able to import my American spouse into Scotland to live here permanently. As well as the need to demonstrate a minimum level of annual income, £18,600, there are also hefty legal and visa fees to pay.

I really don’t like doing fundraisers, and I really don’t like to blow my own trumpet, but I work my wee socks off for the independence movement. I publish this blog, and I do talks to local indy groups all over Scotland without asking for a fee. Don’t get me wrong, I greatly enjoy it. It’s a huge privilege to meet all the wonderful, talented, and committed people who make the Scottish independence movement something really special. However it takes up a lot of time and energy to keep blogging and doing public talks, time and energy that I could be using to generate an income to prove to the Home Office that I am able to support my American spouse.

The truth is that if every regular reader of this blog gave just one pound a year, I’d be pulling in well over £100,000 annually. Unfortunately it doesn’t work like that. Publishing and selling books and maps helps, as does selling t-shirts, but it’s pretty hit and miss. I do get paid by The National for my twice weekly articles, but that doesn’t pay anything like as much as you might think it would. In order to be confident that I can meet the minimum income requirements demanded by the Home Office, cover the cost of a wedding on both sides of the Atlantic, and cover the fees required to pay the visas and associated legal costs, I need to do a fundraiser for £10,000.

Any help you can give would be immensely appreciated. Help me to keep campaiging, and help me to show that Scotland is a welcoming place for migrants – at least one special migrant in particular, the man I’m going to marry in October.

You can donate by clicking the following link and donating on my Gofundme page.

Alternatively you can donate by clicking on the Paypal “Donate” button on this page, or by logging in to and making a payment to me at If you would prefer to donate by some other method, cash, cheque, or bank transfer, please contact me at for details.

Many thanks for all your support. You’ve no idea how much it means to me.

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46 comments on “Great British Nessie farming

  1. […] Wee Ginger Dug Great British Nessie farming Well that didn’t last long did it. A deal which it took members of the Conservative […]

  2. Andy Anderson says:

    I will look for the nearest Nessie farm after the AUOB march tomorrow in Inverness. I gather there is one near by!!

    • Marconatrix says:

      Could prove quite lucrative as a tourist attraction, certainly no worse than some of the things folk will part with £££ to visit 😉

  3. mogabee says:

    British exceptionalism knows no red neck that’s for sure!

  4. I hear the Trump Organisation is interested in backing your Nessie Farm idea, Paul.

    Maya’s over in Europe trying the old Brit Nat Imperial divide and conquer gambit.
    Hasn’t worked.
    To think that there are 500 odd Brit Nat MPs sunning themselves at their Gites villas and holiday homes all over the Continent right now.

    Not even the collapse of England stops them skiving off on ten weeks paid holiday.

    Westminster could be a charred pile of rubble by the time they get back, for all they care.

    Most of the Brexiteers are well off and won’t be impacted, No Deal or Hard Brexit.
    Many will make a ‘killing’ on the market.
    madness reigns.

    I’d imagine that many will find it it difficult to maintain a No vote stance now, especially if they voted Remain.

    Ho hum..

  5. Macart says:

    Be interesting to see how said Tories apply that whole treason approach to (I’d guess) over half the UK? Even were it still 48%, or almost half the populations, it’d still be a bit of an ask.

    But yes, as the evidence grows it becomes harder and harder to refute the reality that Brexit is an epic example of self harm. The published articles on the illegality of the campaign alone should sound klaxons for people, never mind the mountain of economic expert evidence gathered and expanded upon over the past two years.

    Then we come to the constitutional crisis ignited by the referendum result. A result which instantly endangered settled agreements with the devolved legislatures, the ongoing peace process of N.I. and threatens to bring a whole string of headaches to the people of Gibraltar.

    ALL of it based on a self serving Tory pissing contest, enabled by the media and subsequently the other establishment parties of the Westminster parliament in a farcical attempt to ignore their moral and ethical vacuum over said settlements. A dereliction of duty doesn’t begin to cover the actions of these …. people.

    So no. No, mainly they shouldn’t be forgiven for the harm they’ve brought upon the peoples of these islands. Not ever. They put their own folk in harms way purely for their own selfish ends.

    They deserve nothing but our contempt.

  6. Jimmy The Pict says:

    At work today, an English colleague, ex-councillor (Lab, North England) stated that he was for no devolution of any powers, thinks there should be one tax regime and one set of laws across the whole of the ‘country’, one NHS, single bodies for all cases. Impossible to persuade him to vote for anything other than his preferred ‘No’ and ‘Leave’.

    So, not wasting any time on him at all, moving on to persuadable voters.

    I am sure he will though invest in the Nessie Farm scheme, especially if it gives him any tax incentives.

    • grizebard says:

      You need to tell that wooden-headed ignoramus that to achieve what he wishes would certainly break the Treaty of Union – an international treary whose terms still apply – thereby directly delivering the very outcome of independence he apparently detests. So invite him, with the greatest of visible pleasure, to carry on helping the indy movement!

    • I’m sure the fucker will not pay University tuition fees when his kids go to Uni, will cross the Queensferry bridge free, and pick up his prescription for ‘free’, all the while smirking to himself, ‘mugs’, as he gets the ‘best of both worlds’ and votes No and Leave..
      If you want to be part of New England’s empire, clue, head South.
      We have lost patience with the holiday homers.
      It is getting that fractious.

  7. Andy Anderson says:

    20 years from now after 17 years of independence with an average growth oh 4.5% per annum.

    Annual Ground rent improving public finances and allowing the introduction of citizens income. The poorer in our society no longer shafted by the benefits system.

    Imagine Scotland taking its place in the world as an active member of several organisations.

    Imagine no nuclear weapons on our land.

    Imagine us being held up as a socially dynamic people with a good economy

    I could go on.

    At the same time imagine Liam Fox junior still trying to negotiate a trade deal for England and Wales.

    Imagine a United Ireland with the knuckle staggers moved to Rockall.


    • Marconatrix says:

      It’s all do-able, but how to get people into that mindset. So many seem to have made a career out of being downtrodden and complaining about it …
      … and who knows, we might even find a way of reconstituting plesiosaurs …

    • Illy says:

      Sorry, but Rockall has an Inverness postcode – it’s part of Scotland.

  8. Andy MacNicol says:

    Your musings just get better every time. Cutting through the BritNat crap and exposing it as the fantasy it really is.

    I shake my head when I hear ordinary punters in the coffee shops I frequent actually believing what they hear and read. My neck is creaking these days as there seem to be so many of them. Where do they get their news? Do they just take it in and file it under “it was on the BBC and in the Express so it must be true”. I despair!

    So many times I have bitten my lip to stop myself shouting at them, Yes, really shouting, “Yer all doomed. Nobody is going to ride in on a white charger and save you all just because you’re British. Open your eyes”. But no, they actually think it’ll be OK because the Government know what they are doing and they’ll look after us. A word to the wise, they don’t give a shit about you, not even just a little one that slipped out at the end of a good fart.

    We have a lot of work to do. Undermining the credibility of the MSM is a priority. They should be prosecuted for some of the lies they spout but of course they won’t be. Freedom of the press is one of the bastions of a democracy, even if it is the freedom to lie. Even the so-called quality papers are now rolling in the gutter with the other titles which live there, and I don’t see any of them getting back out.

    Work, work, work. Chip away at every NO you come across. Gently and without criticism. We’ll get there.

    • Doug Porteous says:

      Andy like yourself I’m all for a free press however that doesn’t mean that they can’t be made to answer for their mistakes! An independent Scotland could set up an independent press complaints council which consisted of members of the public as well as a lawyer to advise on the legal side.
      Indeed we could go further and insist that all proprietors are Scottish Citizens in the same way that the USA does.

      • Illy says:

        It would actually be relatively easy to get the press to stop being shitheads. Just add the following to the law:

        When a published newspaper/magazine/etc… publishes a falsehood, they must publish a correction in the following manner:

        1) The correction will occupy the same space (size, page, etc…) in the publication that the original article did. This includes advertising space on the cover for an article elsewhere in the publication.

        2) The headline for the correction will be: lied to you.

        3) The correction article will be published twice: Once on the next publication after the publisher is informed of their mistake (taking into account print and distribution time), and once on the next issue on the same part of the publishing cycle as the mistake (same day of the week for dailies, same month of the year for monthlies, etc…)

        4) If the space of the correction is already taken up by another correction, add it to the queue.

        5) Failing to do this will result in exponentially increasing fines for each day that a correction is not published when it should have been. Size of fine does not reset on correction being published, and follows the publication, not the publisher.

        Anyone see any loopholes in that?

        • Illy says:

          Sodding html parser. Point 2 should be:

          2) The headline for the correction will be: {insert name of publication} lied to you.

        • gus1940 says:

          Make every paper on the newstand carry the apology in full and in the same prominence.

          Perhaps every paper could have a page/section dedicated to apologies and corrections to lies published anywhere else in the press both print and broadcast with particular attention being paid to BBC and STV.

          Running and supervising such a system would require a version of .Press Complaints with legal teeth.

          • Illy says:

            I believe my points cover that as best as possible. It isn’t fair to make, say, The National, print an apology for something, say, The Dail Mail, said.

    • Jason Smoothpiece says:

      Andy I have been there frustrating isn’t it.

      I think the MSM need called to account, and yes keep chipping.

  9. Another absolute blinder, Paul. When I read your posts I find myself wondering how, in the name o’ the wee man, anyone can fail to see the truth of what you write.

  10. Thoroughly enjoy The Dug’s musings every time Paul, and isn’t just amazing hat such resources that could revolutionise your work and give room for more amazing projects can be gained from £1.00 per annum from every reader. Come on folks you spend more than that per day on coffee.

  11. Macart says:

    Looking over the headlines, I see the media’s attempting to squirm out from under their culpability in the fake news culture. It’s all the fault of data farmers and ruthless political types targeting demographics with shabby campaign pratices.

    The media? WE’RE SHOCKED! SHOCKED I TELL YOU! But, y’know, nothing to see here. Nothing to do with us.

    Just so any MSM types reading are crystal clear? (and we know you do)

    Some folk consider you the worst offender by some considerable margin. You do help create narratives, influence opinion, market and sell the narratives of others in exchange for personal/ideological advantage and/or influence. You are just as responsible for the biblical galactofuck of austerity and Brexit UK as the empathy free vacuums in Westminster.

    Given your influence and market saturation, it’s fair to say you should also get to pick up your share of the tab when the populations of the UK inevitably start looking for those responsible. And they will start looking for those answers.

    Probably worth noting that a fair portion of Scotland’s population have already made their mind up on your actions. The real problem starts when those you’ve manipulated come to the same realisation and conclusions. Good luck with that.

    Filed under – You fly with the crows?

    • Cubby says:

      The media in Scotland are just a bunch of lying Britnat propaganda writers/broadcasters. What a way to make a living. These people clearly are lacking in personal and professional integrity. They will all eventually end up pissing off to London (as per Torrance) where their masters will reward them with a pat and some dog biscuits.

  12. Macart says:

    Wishing everyone attending, a great day out in Inverness. 🙂

  13. Referendum1707 says:

    Sorry o/t

    Please help this fundraiser give practical assistance to Yes groups trying to boost support for independence.

  14. Macart says:

    Quite the turnout. 🙂

    Inverness march

  15. Anne Martin says:

    I watched on Independence Live again. Wow, it just makes me so proud to see that sea of saltires with a good sprinkling of English, Catalan an other European flags!

    How can they keep saying that there is no appetite for independence when so many thousands turn out time and time and again, and yet only a handful of Unionists!

    BTW I was wearing my lovely new Wee Ginger Dug T-shirt which arrived today – thank you Paul.

  16. Kangaroo says:

    The end goal is to recreate a feudal society by removing your rights exiting the European Human Rights Court and allowing themselves to make the laws to keep you in your place, under a jackboot.

    • Andy Anderson says:

      Interesting. Pity all this lobbying found the numpties in the cabinet so malleable. A disgrace

  17. chicmac says:

    Nessie has been dorma for far too long. 🙂

    • Marconatrix says:

      ‘Dormant’ ? ‘Doormat’ ?? …

      • chicmac says:

        Erm, it was meant as a pun on Nessun Dorma, the classical aria from Puccini’s, Turandot made famous by Pavarotti.

        The Scottish version went something like this:

        Ah drapt a tanner doonra lavvy.
        It wis an affy catastra-ah-vy
        Furrit went, richt roond the bend
        And wis nivur, seen agehn, seen agehn, seen ageh-ehn.

  18. Craig P says:

    Spoke with an English Brexiteer recently. After the standard dislike of foreigners was trotted out, he expressed a genuine hope that politicians would now be ‘answerable to us’. I put it that unless people voted for different politicians, they would answer to the same neo-liberal purseholders as they do now. He disagreed.

    If Brexit turns out to be a disaster there will be a whole swathe of gammons ripe for radicalisation, and Lord knows where that will read.

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