The cow in the caravan

Sometimes, explaining the difference between the EU and the UK to those who demand to know why Scotland would swap London rule for Brussels rule gives you a considerable amount of sympathy for Father Ted as he sat in the rain in a caravan and painstakingly explained the difference between small and far away to Father Dougal using a tiny model cow and pointing to cows in the field outside. Many of these people fancy themselves as serious commentators and go on SkyNews press review then take to social media afterwards to inform one and all that they’re experts on Scottish politics because they’re half Scottish and have an auntie in Auchterarder. That would be Carole I’m HALF SCOTTISH you know Malone.

However these folk are even worse than Father Dougal. He was just comically and cutely dumb, they are willfully refusing to understand the difference between the EU and the UK, and that makes a person even more of an object of pity than Craggy Island’s Argyle tank top wearing priest. And they can’t even sing My Lovely Horse either. If you don’t understand the difference between the UK and the EU you’ve got absolutely no business being on national television as a commentator on Scottish politics or indeed anything else. You belong in a caravan with Father Ted and a model cow as he patiently explains the difference between small and far away to you.

It’s remarkable that this still needs to be pointed out, but in terms of the control that they can exert over Scotland, the EU is both small and far away whereas the UK is both big and close by. The UK is the cow in the Scottish caravan. It’s on top of us, it takes up most of our space, it dominates everything, it can’t be ignored and the stench of its crap fills the room.

The UK is a unitary state to which Scotland belongs as a possession. The EU is a union of sovereign states. The difference between the UK and the EU is the difference between being a bonded labourer and having an ownership stake in a company where you are a partner. The UK can alter Scotland’s terms and conditions as it sees fit. After it received its ruling from the Supreme Court that the Sewell Convention has no legal effect, it doesn’t require the consent of Scotland, or even need bother with consulting Scotland, in order to change the devolution settlement or anything else that affects the lives of people in Scotland. The Sewell Convention is a statement written into the Scotland Act that the UK goverment will not “normally” alter any devolved power without the consent of the Scottish parliament. The Supreme Court ruled that it means nothing. Scotland has no legal right to a say within the UK. We can always be outvoted by Tory MPs from outside Scotland, and that’s exactly why we’re now being taken out of the EU despite the fact that a large majority of Scottish voters voted to remain. That’s why every single amendment to the Scotland Act proposed by Scotland’s own MPs was voted down in the Commons. We’ve got English votes for English laws, and English votes for Scottish laws too.

Contrast that with the rights of an EU member. EU member states have veto powers. If the EU decides that it wants to do something that a member state is deeply opposed to, that state can veto the decision. And it’s important to remember that these decisions are only arrived at in the first place after all member states are fully consulted and involved in the negotiations. Scotland doesn’t even have a right to be consulted in the UK, never mind not having a right of veto.

Here’s things that the UK can do. Even if not a single person in Scotland with the exception of the Honourable Stuffed Toy from Dumfries supported the British government, that government can still do exactly what it pleases with social security payments. It can do what it likes with all tax powers. It can even do that with those tax powers that have been devolved, since as we all know now a power devolved is a power retained and the Sewell Convention is a meaningless piece of cant with no legal effect. The UK insists that we pay a tax every year for the dubious privilege of receiving state sponsored British propaganda on our TVs. The EU can’t do that. The UK government can change the pension age, the rate at which the state pension is paid, and the requirements for receiving it at a whim. It can and it does impose weapons of mass destruction on the Clyde, the EU can’t do that. The UK can take Scotland into war despite the overwhelming opposition of Scotland, the EU wouldn’t dream of that and has no powers to do so anyway. The list goes on and on.

Every single law, every single regulation, every single governmental rule, can theoretically be altered, changed, ripped up or replaced by the British government without the consent of a single Scottish elected representative. The powers of the EU are constrained by the EU treaties. The EU cannot interfere in the actions of a member government which are not governed by these treaties.

The fact is that right now, Scotland is being taken out of the EU into an uncertain and frankly frightening future by a UK government which has demonstrated that it has not the slightest interest in listening to any opinions other than what is good for the electoral prospects of the Conservative party. Once outside the EU the power of the Westminster parliament will not be constrained by anything at all. It will be absolute. Absolute power over Scotland, an absolute power which has ruled that Scotland doesn’t even have the right to be consulted about policies which affect it.

Yet some people claim that Scotland has more influence in this UK than it would do as a member of the EU. This UK in which Scotland’s representatives are a permanent minority and can be outvoted by Conservative representatives from England. In the EU Scotland will be one of 28 member states, none of which is large enough to outvote all the others by itself. As well as having a veto power, as well as having the powers of the EU constrained by the EU treaties, as well as having the right to participate in all negotiations and have a seat at the top table, Scotland will be able to form alliances with other member states and vote accordingly. We can’t do that in the UK parliament.

For all that Unionists tell us that Scotland has influence, the bottom line is that as the UK seeks an exit from the EU, Scotland has no influence at all. The harsh reality for Scotland is that tiny member states of the EU, countries that are far smaller and poorer than Scotland, have a veto power over the negotiations. That means that the governments of Estonia and Malta have more control over Scotland’s destiny than the people of Scotland do themselves.

If Scotland really expects to have a say over its own future, if Scotland really wants to have a voice and an influence that determines the path that Scotland takes, there’s only one way we can do it. It’s time to evict the cow from the caravan.

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60 comments on “The cow in the caravan

  1. Sheryl Hepworth says:

    Brilliant Paul! Love the simple explanation for those of a…..
    erm ”not so educated” bent that some of the yessers to NOEU’ers have!!

  2. […] Wee Ginger Dug The cow in the caravan […]

  3. Dan Huil says:

    Westminster britnats continue to treat Scotland with contempt. Sadly there will always be some pathetic Scots who like being treated in this manner. The rest of us must stand up and tell Westminster to get lost. The current Scottish government must act as if it is already independent – and to hell with Westminster’s opinion.

  4. diabloandco says:

    Spot on and a reminder of Father Ted was much appreciated.

  5. Jean says:

    Whatever the rights and wrongs of being part of the UK or the EU, surely independence means making your own laws and controlling your own destiny. How can this be achieved as a very small player in the EU?
    I think that the SNP realise the weakness of their current position and we will see a revision very soon.

    • Jack Docherty says:

      Maybe I’m being a bit dumb here, Jean. Is your comment tongue in cheek?

    • Dan Huil says:

      Well, Jean, I won’t be voting for decades of further arrogant and ignorant tory rule over Scotland from Westminster. To vote for that would be seriously stupid. The EU ain’t perfect but compared to Westminster it’s a haven of fairness.

    • One_Scot says:

      I think you have missed the whole point of the article.

    • Carol Sadler says:

      Jean,did you read the whole article or just the first line?

    • Saor Alba says:

      Along with One_Scot,I think you have missed the whole point of the article, Jean.
      You need to go back to the article and read it again. Perhaps this little excerpt will help:

      “The UK is a unitary state to which Scotland belongs as a possession. The EU is a union of sovereign states. The difference between the UK and the EU is the difference between being a bonded labourer and having an ownership stake in a company where you are a partner.”

      In the EU – we would make our own laws and we would be equal partners with other sovereign states, with a common set of goals, but in control of our own laws, economics and welfare etc. Not subject to the EU, but in partnership. We are NOT in partnership with the UK and to my mind, we NEVER have bee.

      The 4th paragraph tells you all that you need to know and how we would be slaves to the Sewell Convention by remaining enslaved to the UK.

    • Patience is a Virtue says:

      Jean you are spot on with ‘surely independence means making your own laws and controlling your own destiny’…. this is what Independence means and is…..and I’m pretty sure all here striving towards this.

      The next Independence Referndum .. is/should be about simply ‘who decides’… and not blinkered by / about ‘the current EU crisis’ per se. (though is very, very important and certainly ‘topical’)
      Certainly the current EU crisis exemplifies perfectly the situation Scotland is shackeld to ..as so brilliantly explained and illustrated by WGD above.

      Should every Consituency in Scotland vote in a certain way as in recent EU Referendum .. and really quite remarkably it did! -even those of our Secretary of State for Scotland (all voted to Remain in EU) ….or ……….if every Scottish MP (i.e. out of 59) elected at the next General Election is of ‘independent mind’ (whether Scottish Green or SNP MP).. currently 56 out of 59 SNP MPs. the simple arithmentic of Westminster where there are 650 MPs – what say does Scotland currently get in anything?

      Coupled with the Sewell Convention being ruled meaningless by the Supreme Court (i.e. the very same ‘plague of boils’ Lord Smith advised would fall upon the land is anyone tried to prorogue the Scottish Parliament)…cue plague of boils.. then there seems little point remaining in a ‘UK’ that has ruled that ultimately the Devolved parts do Not require to be consulted over major issues affecting its People (in particular Scotland-as the Treaty of Union was with Scotland).

      I understand your (very legitimate concerns) and would go as far as agreeing that arguing Scotland’s case for Independence should be argued on its merits and certainly using the current EU crisis as a perfect example of just how consulted, loved and cherished we are in this … equal partership. it would be more equal with around 325 Scottish MPs of course … but there is about as much chance of that as Scotland being consulted on anything.

    • grizebard says:

      Well Jean, you’re right. Independence does mean setting your own laws and controlling your own destiny. So I hope you will vote for that when you get the chance again, assuming you are sincere.

      I’m just sad that you seem to have missed the essence of WGD’s point, though. Being in the EU doesn’t impinge on these, whereas being in the UK most certainly does. The EU enhances our rights, whereas the UK tramples all over them.

      Being in the EU is like belonging to any club. You agree some reasonable common rules that all must abide by (which like all clubs, are there to give everyone a fair shake, no matter how big or small), and in return you get something precious – a force multiplier!

      Like the old saying goes, the total is greater than the sum of the parts. All members benefit. That’s the whole point.

      Seriously, would you really prefer to stay on board SS Brexittania as it sails off towards the iceberg, with you locked away down in the bilge…?

    • Sinclair says:

      Well said, Jean. The article suggests we have only two choices when, in fact, there are three, the third being independence – true independence. Out of the frying pan and out of the fire.

  6. jayfer55 says:

    Jean did u actually read the article, Malta/Estonia are smaller than Scotland and have equal parity in EU as Germany. How would we b a smaller player? We can control our destiny in EU with 27 other equal partners all working together to make every country prosperous. don’t come back with the Greek story, Greece is very dif from Scotland and caused many of it’s own problems. We already have EU law n legislation intertwined with our own and we would fit in very well. Excellent article Paul

    • Steve says:

      Malta has 3 votes in the Council of Ministers.
      Estonia has 4 votes.
      Germany has 29 votes.

      How is that “parity”? Rather than reading the article, perhaps you should read about how the EU actually works? Just because you want the EU to be a warm and fluffy partnership, it doesn’t mean it actually is.

  7. Neil Dorward says:

    Go on go on go … hire yourself out as Nicola’s speech writer

  8. Brian Mckenna says:

    I for one am sick of tasting the cowshit from people who think Scotlands voice is heard in Wastemonster .

  9. Steve Asaneilean says:

    Fantastic piece Paul – deserves to be widely quoted

  10. fillofficer says:

    hugely entertaining, paul. you are right though, there’s no many experts on the telly when it comes to scottish affairs. things are shifting up a gear now, ye can almost smell the bullsh!t

  11. Gavin C Barrie says:

    62% of us voted to remain in the EU.
    56 of our 59 MPs are pro-independence
    We have a majority for independence at Holyrood, despite the DeHondt voting fix.
    Sewel, a deception, meaningless. Response from the UK government to amend/correct? Zilch,

    Another independence referendum? It’s in Westminster’s gift – annoying eh? And we face the risk of the Westminster Establishment rigging the outcome. They wouldn’t? – Hillsborough/The Birmingham Six/ Jimmy Saville/Janner/Heath.

    Why oh why do so many doubt themselves, and meekly accept Westminster Establishment rule?

    Declare UDI and be done with it.

    • Saor Alba says:

      There’s something rotten in the state of Westminster.
      Shakespeare was mis-quoted.

    • Guga says:

      Gavin, independence is not in Westminster’s gift. Under international law we have the right to hold an independence referendum if we so wish. In addition, as I have said many times before, in Scotland the people are sovereign, not the Westminster government. The English parliament may have sovereignty in England, but not in Scotland.

      The fact remains that the Scottish government, acting on behalf of the Scottish people, have the right to declare independence, without even bothering to hold a referendum, and legally the English government can do nothing about it – unless, of course, they resort to the tactics they used with the Red Clydesiders, i.e. confining all Scottish troops to barracks and sending in 10,000 English troops, along with tanks, to continue their oppression of the Scottish people. You may also recall that when those corrupt, bought and paid for members of the Scottish parliament voted on accepting the Treaty of Union, the English had massed their troops on the Scottish border. A bit of a pattern emerges there, i.e. the English using, or threatening to use, force to make the Scottish people do as they were told.

      The time is long since past that we threw off the English shackles and regained our freedom and independence.

  12. Barbara Nairn says:

    I like the analogy Paul. This is a great way of explaining the difference and I will be using it. Thank you.

  13. Therapymum says:

    Loved Father Ted! Excellent piece, and comprehensive summary of the Sewell Convention. Boy were we sold a pup on that one! And bless the Supreme Court for pointing that out. It clarified what many of us thought but hoped was not the case. I genuinely believe that the EU is a better option than Westminster for the reasons you have stated. The Leave campaign made a big deal of “taking back control of our borders, our laws and our courts”, but we always did have control of those areas. Everything that is negotiated has to be agreed on by all member states, through their representatives in the European Parliament. In all the regulations and negotiations the UK has sustained on or rejected very few actions. We agreed the rest, so how were we not in control? From a Scottish perspective our fishing industry and some others have suffered, but not because of the EU specifically, but because Westminster bargained them away. Rather than be overridden in an unequal partnership(??), that dominates every aspect of our life, I would far rather be an equal partner in a partnership that agrees perameters of common interest, and allows us to rule ourselves.

    • Saor Alba says:

      Well pointed out Therapymum:
      “Westminster bargained them away.”
      It was nothing to do with the EU, but was Westminster playing silly buggers with selling our resources to bargain for themselves.

  14. Macart says:

    First class Paul. 🙂

    And y’know, worth mentioning that if Scotland ever wanted to leave the EU, then you don’t need to ask anyone’s permission.

    You don’t need to debate in a parliament not your own. You don’t require an S30. You don’t need special agreements or votes in Commons and the Lords. You don’t need to go cap in hand.

    All you need do is vote for a party that proposes same and give them a mandate. The EU won’t prevent the action. They won’t intervene. They won’t unleash the collective media of their fellow members against you. They won’t interfere at all. The decision would be between you and the government you elect.

    How vile is that?

    Personally, I have no bone in this EU/EFTA argument. Near as I can tell, they all have their pros and cons. I am pretty much a Europhile though and I do want Scotland’s electorate to be outward reaching, progressive and internationalist. No protectionism, no isolationism. No using people, human beings as bargaining chips in some demented negotiation process. No discarding peoples rights because… foreigner!

    If a future independent Scotland decides the EU isn’t for it, then fine. Scotland’s electorate should vote for that. But it should be a decision for Scotland’s electorate alone and NO ONE else. I’d hope that in such an event we’d show more common decency and humanity than the appalling brexit process we’re witnessing today. I’d also hope any such debate would be better informed and conducted with something approaching civility and honesty.

    Mind you, you’d need a fully empowered government of your own to do that grown up stuff. Have choices. Make decisions. Have grown up conversations and such. A government you vote for and which responds to your mandates.

    Sounds cool. 🙂

  15. Derek says:

    Also, the EU wouldn’t force nuclear weapons on a member that didn’t want them. Honestly, can you imagine the furore if it did? In the UK it’s just par for the course.

  16. Paul,
    I’m somewhat confused, I know that you have your finger on the Spanish political pulse, so can you tell me why the Spanish indicate that they will/may try to veto Scotland’s attempt to remain in the E.U. after independence, when they could be negotiating directly with Edinburgh, for an agreement on fishing rights, which one would think that that situation would be much more agreeable to them, rather than Scotland being taken out of the E.U., whereby, for a period “fishing” is going back to Westminster, where it could lay for months, months which would presumably bar the Spanish fishing fleet from U.K. waters.
    UNLESS Westminster has already done a deal with the Spanish regarding access to U.K. fishing waters,
    What do you think?, Regards.

  17. Saor Alba says:

    Slightly O/T but important.

    On Craig Murray’s blog (Well worth reading by Indy supporters for the Council Elections):

    https://www.craigmurray.org.uk

    “Scottish elections are conducted under the excellent STV system, which I advocate for all elections. I want to make an extremely important point to all Independence supporters. Unlike the De Hondt system used for Holyrood, under STV it is impossible to damage the chances of the SNP – or your other Independence supporting party of choice – by using all your lower preference numbers for other Independence supporting candidates, and it is essential that you do.”

    He goes on to say that James Kelly on ‘Scot Goes Pop’ explains the strategy in great detail and provides a link to this.

  18. bedelsten says:

    If Scotland has not voted to become an independent nation by the time the UK exits the EU may I suggest the consequences for Scotland will be dire. It may seem alarmist to trot out ‘be afraid, very afraid’, but consider that the cow in caravan has only one aim – the preservation of the tory party and the anything and anyone who threatens this will be trampled underfoot. As intimated by the cow in the caravan while speaking to a half-empty room of aging acolytes, after Brexit Scotland will have no, none, zilch, control over its destiny. And Scotland has got used to having some control over its destiny. It has a voice. It has a culture. It has an identity. It has some of the levers of government. This would all be lost, teen awa’, trampled into the dubs, and Scotland would be left with the colonial governor general to represent the nation’s interests, when not picking remnants of a previous meal from between the follicles.

    The ability of the EU to forcibly influence a nation has been wilfully misconstrued by some segments of the media while the majority have been negligent in communicating its activities. That we have to actively search for the information, which is all out there, should shame the MSM, but it does not shame it just displays endless clickbait while going down the tubes.

    The past week’s activities have, if anything, not only strengthened the case for Scotland choosing its own destiny but also, hopefully, convinced more people of the merits of doing so. That maybe the case but, at present, there is a phoney war going on and we will have to wait for the cow in the caravan to press the big red and white self-destruct button before oor Nickla can announce the next phase in Scotland’s destiny.

  19. On the button, Paul.
    They make no secret of the fact that we are an occupied territory now; colony status at best.
    I’m laid low with a heavy cold and will be sent to bed without my hot milk and Digestive if I’m caught on the keyboard.
    But when my strength returns, I may comment on Dave Ruthison’s Arbeit Macht Frei speech to the 600 Faithful corralled into the front middle rows of the blacked out SECC.
    Cricket legs Mundell had Priti Patel from the HoL flown up to hold his hand.
    Wee Ruth will get to fight the next Labour marginal by election Down There, that’s for sure. Or fast tracked to the Lairds?
    Shit, I hear footsteps in the hall! Off now. Brilliant as per, Paul.

  20. Tinto Chiel says:

    “The difference between the UK and the EU is the difference between being a bonded labourer and having an ownership stake in a company where you are a partner.”

    That should be one for the billboard campaign.

    A great article, Paul. I wish more Scots could read it.

    With Sewell now shown to be another illusion, like The Vow, the Tories will try to dismantle Holyrood and proceed with an all-out attack on Scotland.

    The choice is Scotland or Tory Endless Night.

  21. Bob McCandless says:

    The main problem we have is that we have become programmed if you like, to accept Westminster the way an abused person accepts their abuser. This is a long history of “carrot” and” stick” treatment,designed to control and manipulate. Many Scots accept this treatment and still try to please and appease the abuser. This is their only function in life as everything else appears impossible. From generation to generation this has been passed on through families We in the independence movement have broken our own personal entrapment in the cycle, but people like Jean fail to grasp fully the situation in which they are locked.. To convert others we must appreciate that they are controlled by deep and powerful psychological forces, which with patience can eventually be overcome by simple information. Great article.

  22. orri says:

    In normal circumstances there’s no law that Westminster could make that Holyrood could not unmake before the Queen stuck on her big hat, toddled up to Scotland and signed it on to the statute book. In normal circumstances Sturgeon, as FM, could have a quiet word in her ear and tell her not to bother or more formally advise her that a use of the Royal Prerogative to refuse Assent was in order.

    The chicken and egg situation is that in order to remove that power of Veto from the First Minister they have to prevent it being used.

    I suspect a far sneakier approach will be to substitute some references to the EU in the Scotland Act with any International Treaty Obligations. So Holyrood might have nominal control of offshore fishing returned but by that time, or whenever it suits Westminster, it might be bound by an agreement made to suit the UK as a whole. Same with any currently devolved powers. They won’t actually be taken away. Just be subject to intervention when it takes Westminster’s fancy.

    • Guga says:

      I wouldn’t worry too much about Betty Windsor, or what she thinks. One of the powers the the sovereign Scottish people have is to get rid of any monarch that does not look after the interests of the Scottish people.

      You will also be aware that the English (German) monarch is, at best, Queen of the Scots. She is not, and never has been Queen of Scotland. If the Scots exercise their sovereignty to get rid of her and, if they so desire, to replace her by anyone, they are fully within their rights.

      So, if Betty Windsor (or to give her her correct name, Lizzie Hanover Saxe-Coburg Gotha Schleswig-Holstein Soenderburg-Glucksburg) tries to sign into law any attempt by the English government to impede or destroy the Scottish government and parliament, we, the people, have the right to kick her out.

  23. Brian Powell says:

    And that’s the way Slab wants it to be.

  24. steelewires says:

    Westminster is a cow. It’s head is in Edinburgh and its udder is in London!

  25. hettyforindy says:

    One of your best Paul. There are some who would prefer that the people, the electorate, are kept confused, and unable to actually get a perspective on anything political, which in fact should be clear as day to them. Those in the media feign ignorance and mislead, the yoons in power depend on that to ensure that their lies are touted as the truth.

    Some great comments as well.

    Defo Tinto Chiel, Scotland, or Tory endless night. A very scary thought indeed.

  26. Shamur says:

    At the end of the day, all else aside, it comes down to this:- who should run a country, the country itself? ….or the bigger one next to it?

  27. Robert Graham says:

    A good clear article Paul ,clears up any ambiguity over the difference between EU & UK . Anyone else notice an increase in interloper traffic on most Indy supporting sites recently , looks like the Union is shifting to top gear in readiness for when Indy ref 2 starts , and so are getting their retaliation in early .

  28. Lorelei says:

    As an English remain voter living in overwhelmingly Remain voting London I can see clearly that the writing is on the wall for the break up of the UK. Brexit is hugely divisive issue in England and Wales too. Here it is primarily the Cities v rural counties and yet May has chosen only to represent one side of the argument because the Cities generally don’t vote Tory. This is a huge political misjudgement, but she can get away with it only because Labour are in pieces and are not providing credible opposition. A full blown constitutional crisis will be the first unintended consequence of Brexit.

  29. […] The difference between being part of the UK and part of the EU […]

  30. Thanks to TLC and the love of a good woman, I’m back from the brink, my feverish man cold subsiding: I am almost back to my vile cybernat best.
    I should qualify my clearly sexist homophobic ‘TLC and the love of a good woman’ before McTernan, Mc Dougall, Roden, that lassie who writes the children’s books, and the Dead Tree Trollers come after me for being a disgusting racist sexist homophobic anti British endomorph.
    Edit: Delete:- ‘Thanks to TLC and the love of a good woman.’ Insert: ‘Thanks to the love of a good partner.’
    It’s been that sort of week. Hot on the heels of the Labour Branch Office Conference disaster, when some lass who’s doing a PHD at Stirling Uni, her name genuinely escapes me, confirming the ‘fifteen minutes of fame’ adage, described half the population (and counting) of Scotland as racists, Kezia, Jeremy and the tattered remnants of Labour in Scotland SNP BADded for three days.
    Kezia flogged Federalism to death, repeatedly made a fool of herself across the media, talked up a non- existent and utterly fictional Constitutional Convention in 2021, and announced to all and sundry that she hates Nicola Sturgeon and the EssEnnPee.
    She came across as a whining petulant wee lassie, who seemed to confirm our worst fears; Labour have given up on Scotland completely.
    She clearly doesn’t have a clue. Believe me, I am being as charitable as I can be here.
    Just when we thought that the Unionist Stronger Together Mob could not degenerate any further into farce, the Blue Tories rolled into Glasgow, where there be dragons, and treated us to yet another Whitehall Farce.
    Treeza headed North to address the massed Blue Rinse brigade, all, ahem, 600 or so of them, scattered around a brightly lit vast auditorium, and revealed to us all that SNP was Bad.
    Ferguson’s yard got a mention and claimed as a success of the Tory Government, and indeed Wee Ruth gave it a mention in her Arbeit Macht Frei/ ‘go back to your constituencies and prepare for Government ‘ speech the following day.
    Now we know what Jim McColl got for his £25 k cover charge at a Treeza May fund raising dinner.
    Not one, but two high profile adverts for one of his enterprises. Cheaper than Saatchi methinks.
    Patrick Harvie, according to the Dead Tree Scrollers, is calling for his head. Aye, right.
    I digress.
    ‘The country’, oft repeated throughout the Conferences, is not Scotland, it is the United Kingdom, Britain, well, ok, England.
    Did I mention that it was all the BAD SNP’s fault?
    ‘Scottish’ Conferences, my arse.
    Like Marriage Feast at Cana (am I allowed to use religious analogies in these secular nihilist agnostic days?) the Blue Tories left the best wine until the last.
    Ruth’s closing speech.
    In order to succeed in politics, you have to be sincere. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
    Never was that hoary old chestnut more appropriate.
    For a start, it was clear that the Blue Tory Malcolm Tucker had effed and blinded overnight, as the real source of news (on line sites like this)described the May Speech sparse farce disaster in pictures and comment, and the BBC had despatched its London Team north (hopefully with modern cameras and professionals to operate them according to Torrance) to Wag the Dog ,dim the lights, corral the 600 into the centre of the hall, and focus on the clutches of young Tories in the embarrassingly thin aging audience.
    BBC SFX: a wee tip. Next time, overdub with canned applause. We were not fooled.
    Ruth, who always comes across as the captain of the St Pumphadora Private Boarding School for the Girls’ Debating Society, ladled into the Anti-Christ Nicola Sturgeon, and the truly awful terrible SNP and their BADness.
    ‘The Country’, that’s Britain/England, voted to Leave, and that’s it.
    Scotland is not a country.
    Education got big licks. It’s the SNP’s fault.
    Ruth’s heart went out to her fellow pupils who had fallen by the wayside, while she ‘cracked on’ and made her way in the world as a Tory Blawbag.
    The attainment gap. Scotland has gone from being the best, to the worst after 10 years of SNP Badness. It had nothing to do with poverty, rejection, politically engineered poverty.
    It had nothing to do with 10 years of WM imposed cuts. It had nothing to do with 1,000,000 workers on zero hours slavery. Nothing to do with cuts to Child Tax Credit. It had nothing to do with the Child Allowance of the Universal Credit being restricted to two children.It had nothing to do with wages stagnating and falling behind and hard working families seeing their annual income fall by £2000 per year by 2020, and that’s before Brexshit hits the fan.
    It has nothing to do with 500,000 Scots living below the poverty level, including 200,000 ‘less well off’ children, who need to be taught that Work Sets You Free, that the Red Blue and Yellow Tories are plunging you into deeper poverty to ‘incentivise’ you to study hard, and take any low paid low skilled dead end ephemeral job they offer you. You should ignore hunger pangs and ‘crack on’ at the studies, and learn your nine times table.
    Davidson stood at a platform spouting the most arrogant nonsense. If she were chocolate she would eat herself.
    She can’t have it both ways. She’s a British (English) Nationalist.
    It is her party which is taking away HB from 18-21 year olds. There are apparently 11,000 of these Lost Souls.
    It is her party which is taking away Widow’s Pensions and allowances for their children from bereaved spouses.
    Widows/widowers with young families now have to sign on and look for work.
    Meanwhile the bereaved children must ‘crack on’ and study despite grief and hunger.
    I have seldom witnessed such a vacuous insincere piece of nonsense as the Davidson speech.
    It is her party which is dragging Scotland out of the EU, against the will of the Scottish people.
    Evil personified.
    ‘Ye blocks, ye stones, ye worse than senseless things.’
    To close: I wonder how many of the Vauxhall and Opel workers in the West Midlands (sic)who voted Leave may want to revisit their decision now that Peugot has bought GM’s European operation?
    When ‘the country’ takes back control, where do they think their jobs will go?
    There, rant over. I’m a better person for this.

    • Robert Graham says:

      ha ha a bit long but more or less echoed many people’s thoughts up the revolution .

    • Macart says:

      Jeez! What a couple of paracetamol and a milky drink brings oot in some folk. 😮

      Nailed it on the last para especially Jack.

      “To close: I wonder how many of the Vauxhall and Opel workers in the West Midlands (sic)who voted Leave may want to revisit their decision now that Peugot has bought GM’s European operation? When ‘the country’ takes back control, where do they think their jobs will go?”

      The new budget should be an eye opener t’boot. Watch this space for a cash grab, or Brexit buffer.

    • bedelsten says:

      Man Flu is a crippling and debilitating disorder indiscriminately striking down male members of the human species without warning. The illness is often referred to pejoratively by female members of the species who are in fact immune from the illness as man flu is now known to exclusively attack the XY chromosome carrier. Along with much TLC from the, ahem, weaker sex, recovery is aided by Lemsip diluted by a good single malt. If this seems as waste of a good single malt, forego the Lemsip.

  31. Clydebuilt says:

    O/T

    Should the SNP case for Indelendence Include Oil

    Radio 4 tonight (Monday 6th March) Analysis Programme 8.30 pm

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-scotland-politics-39178324

  32. […] Source: The cow in the caravan […]

  33. Bamstick says:

    Brilliant WGD.
    One of your points: the raising of the official retirement age (by Westminster).
    I just checked and I will not officially retire until I’m 67. That’s 7 years longer than I had expected. My other half will now retire at 66, only 1 year after he expected to retire. But, the Scottish Government will allow both of us to get our bus passes at the age of 60. Looks like I’ll be getting free bus travel to get to my work!!!! That’s if I last that long.

  34. Ross Stalker says:

    I voted Remain and fully support EU membership but it’s not actually true that member states have a universal veto power on the Council anymore. The Treaty of Lisbon changed most issues to Qualified Majority Voting.

    All other points are correct however.

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