A bad boy done it and ran away

Never in the political history of the United Kingdom has the phrase “a bad boy done it and ran away” been more appropriate. Boris Johnson, who leapt on the EU referendum as a bicycle booster to his hopes of leading the Tory party, has looked upon the EUrine stained wreckage he has wrought and decided to spend more time with his lucrative column in the Telegraph.

Boris will go down in history as the first man ever to be slaughtered by a goldfish. His leadership hopes were shattered after erstwhile ally Michael Govefish decided to stand against him. A commentator on Sky News, economist Dr Pippa Malmgren, spoke up in favour of the Govefish, saying that as a Scot he could unite the country and prevent Scottish independence. An entire nation chortled as she spoke. There’s less chance of finding support for Michael Govefish in Scotland than you would for finding Nemo.

Boris’s decision to run away has left Home Secretary Teresa May as the favourite to take over from Davie Cameron. Teresa is a sort of 21st century Maggie Thatcher, only without the warmth, humanity, or sense of humour. She’s confident that she can give the country what it wants during this time of national crisis, mainly because she’s snooped on everyone’s mobile phone messages.

Teresa is no stranger to post-truth politics, she once stood up before the Tory party conference and told them the entirely ficticious tale of a Bolivian who couldn’t be deported because he had a pet cat. She’s the Home Secretary responsible for the vans bearing the racist “Go Home” adverts patrolling our streets. She’s made no secret of her antipathy towards the European Treaty on Human Rights. Teresa is adept in the politics of right wing dog whistle racism.

It’s not just the Tories and Labour in Westminster who have been caught out by Brexit and left without any plans on how to proceed, the Tories and Labour in Holyrood are in the same rudderless boat. Although to be honest Labour in Scotland haven’t had a plan since Jack McConnell got the builders in and asked for a quote for new windaes for John Smith Hoose.

Ruthie looked lost and forlorn at Furst Meenister’s Questions on Thursday. She’s discovered that this holding the SNP to account business is a lot harder than she expected after her own party has been responsible for the greatest implosion since a black hole formed at the centre of the galaxy. It’s certainly sooked in any chance of Ruth There she was just a few days ago, sitting on top of a photogenic tank surveying the political landscape and imagining that she was going to lead the massed ranks of SNPBadding for the next five years, conveniently raising her profile for a nice Westminster constituency in Torysafeseatshire and a post in the cabinet. And now Wullie Rennie isn’t even willing to give her a seat on his bus to Kelty.

Ruthie got into parliament on the back of a promise to stand up for the Union. Just not the European one. Her view on protecting Scotland’s place in the EU, voted for by a significantly larger majority than voted to remain in the UK, is to shrug her shoulders and say it’s a shame that Scotland can’t get what it wants. In the few short weeks since what the Unionist media hailed as a stonking victory by the new champion of Scotland in Britain, support for independence has soared. According to a series of opinion polls there’s now a clear majority in favour of independence, and a majority in favour of holding a second independence referendum. How’s that protecting the place of Scotland in the UK going for you Ruthie, eh?

She sat stony faced as Nicola Sturgeon told her that the Tories had recklessly brought the country to the edge of disaster, which was a bit unfair. The Tories have brought the country right into the very middle of disaster and don’t have the foggiest notion of how to get out of it apart from blaming it all on immigrants. Ruth Davidson claimed that she was standing up for Scotland, but now her own party has brought Scotland to the brink of leaving the EU against the will of the Scottish people, Ruth is running away from the Scottish people and into the arms of her Westminster pals. Ruth doesn’t stand for the interests of Scotland in the United Kingdom, she stands for the interests of the United Kingdom in Scotland.

In an attempt to retake the initiative, Ruth demanded to know which UK cabinet ministers Nicola has been talking to in the past week, instead of going off to make Scotland’s case to Europe. She just forgot to mention that most of those cabinet ministers have been AWOL all week as they put the interests of the Tory party ahead of the interests of the country. Even if Nicola could find a Tory cabinet minister willing to discuss Scotland’s future in the EU, the chances are they’ll be reshuffled and out of a job next week.

Adam Tomkins has been reduced to plaintively tweeting that Brexit means huge new powers for the Scottish Parliament which require Holyrood’s consent and wondering why Nicola is really going to advise we withhold that. Well Adam, it might just be that she prefers the much huger powers that we’d get with independence over the grudging and meagre concessions from Westminster. Just a wee guess there. It’s unfair to describe Westminster’s devolution process as hauf-arsed though. It’s not got that much bottom.

Back in London there was yet more bad boys and girls doing it and running away. After deciding that the priority for the Labour party during a time of national crisis was to plot a coup against Jeremy Corbyn and paralysing the official opposition to the Tories just as they’re screwing the country and screwing themselves, the Parliamentary Labour party won’t be mounting a leadership challenge after all. Far better just to wreck your own party then run away. Seems to be the theme for the day.

That’s the story of Westminster. Bad boys and girls create an almighty mess, then they run away.

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51 comments on “A bad boy done it and ran away

  1. DPNews says:

    Great article!

  2. Independence would be the “simplest and most obvious way” for Scotland to remain in the EU, MSPs have heard.

    Dr Hughes said it would be “logical” for any independence referendum to be held in the summer of next year to ensure it was done before the UK completed its negotiations and left the EU.

    Suits me!

    • weegingerdug says:

      Apparently the Belgian newspaper La Libre Belgique is reporting the following :

      According to the same source (an EU official) “If the Scots don’t waste their time and gain independence before Brexit becomes totally effective and then declare their continuing attachment to the European Union they will be able to remain in the EU and assume the 28th seat vacated by the United Kingdom.” In short, the longer London takes the more time Scotland has to prepare the ground for remaining in the EU and the greater Scotland’s chances of persuading the most reticent members (Spain), irritated by the enending hesitations coming from the English.

    • Janet says:

      I know it’s a bit dry but you should check out Euronews on TV. Part funded by the EU, it’s got a positive take on Scotland. None of this snub nonsense of the Daily Mail!

      Go try or visit their website or YouTube channel!

  3. Steve Asaneilean says:

    Yup – very large creek and nae paddle.

    I am sure I am not alone in coming a lot of previously No voters who are now coming to the realisation that Westminster doesn’t give a monkey’s about Scotland or the needs and desires of the people of Scotland and are now accepting that independence is the only way to halt this decent into madness.

    Nicolas just needs to take her time and make it clear that the other options are not available – no Norway model, no Switzerland model, no reverse Greenland model.

    But as pointed out in the European parliament the EU needs to play it’s part – they owe us the goodwill for keeping the faith.

    So they need to come out and explicitly state that if Scotland becomes independent before Brexit is complete they will retain EU status and replace the UK in the 28th seat.

    Then at last Scotland can directly argue its own corner and stop us being shafted by Westminster who, for example, took EU money intended for poor Scottish hill farmers and diverted it to wealthy English estates. This simply would not have happened had Scotland been representing itself at the table.

  4. Paul says:

    Thank goodness we have folk like your good self, to make sense of what’s happening all around us at the moment!
    At the rate events are currently unfolding, it’s a wonder you don’t have writer’s cramp. Or should that be RSI in this techy era?

  5. Macart says:

    Yeah, Bojo the clown wasn’t slow on picking up the general drift and that’s for sure.

    How and ever, if I hear one more Tory uttering ‘one nation’ conservatism, ‘the country’ must come together and get behind the brexit decision. Its time to move on and heal wounds…etc, etc boak!!

    My COUNTRY (that being Scotland), did not vote for an EU exit. My COUNTRY was guaranteed that only by voting NO in its own referendum could the electorate ensure continued EU membership as part of the greatest family of nations in the multiverse, the UK.

    The government of My COUNTRY has spent nearly two f**king years swallowing an endless stream of media abuse whilst carrying out the wishes of its electorate and trying to first amend then implement the most shambolic, watered down and anti democratic devolution settlement NEVER promised.

    My COUNTRY was promised many things during its own referendum. It was promised a devolution journey (where ‘nothing was off the table’), which would result in the nearest settlement possible to a full fat federalism. It was promised broad shoulders in times of economic hardship. It was promised job security. It was promised stable pensions. It was promised written permanent recognition of its parliament which would be enshrined in law. It was promised a new respect agenda where it could help lead the UKs politics going forward.

    What we got instead?

    Brexit UK.

    A state where if you’re not the right sort you’re not welcome apparently.

    What kind of country do you want to live in?

    • Patience is a Virtue says:

      Scotland, with a written Constitution please.

      • Patience is a Virtue says:

        almost forgot …..and no midgies,

        but definitely not this….

        …The Labour MP for Blaydon, Dave Anderson, is to be the party’s new shadow Scottish Secretary, a senior source has told BBC Scotland. The job has been vacant since Edinburgh MP Ian Murray resigned…Blaydon, that well known Scottish town.

    • Hear, hear, Macart. I too am a Scot. Not a Brit. There is no such thing, Britain the country. Scotland is a sovereign country. Always has been, always will be.
      You and I, and the millions born here, and the millions more who have settled here, made Scotland their home, into which their families were born educated, started work and thrived are Scottish. Not British. If Ruth and her thirty smug hangers on think that they can hold Scotland to ransom, well they have another think coming.
      The political construct that is the Act of Union is done. Last week England decided to leave the European Union. We Scots did not.
      Ruth’s political party, the Political wing of the English Establishment, has unravelled, and it looks as though it is to meld into a Right Wing Fascist Party headed by Theresa May and Michael Gove.
      The big fat white coward and Call me Dave have fucked off, like the spoilt little Eton fekkers they are.
      They brought England to its knees in a tuck shop brawl, then fucked off before the ceiling collapsed. Just like the good old Bullingden days really. Chuck twenty grand on the landlord’s table. That should cover it. Best wheeze yet!
      Johnson will re-emerge in a Trifeca loft in Manhattan, working for the Noo Yawk Times, and Cameron will spend a year in the Cotswolds writing Vol 1 of the Memoirs. Meanwhile England will burn.
      Well, Nicola Sturgeon and others happen to believe that Scotland is a nation in its own right too; she’s doing something about it. Woe betide you and BBC Scotland if you get in the way of it. I was never before in favour of mass demos outside PQ. Not now after some of the coverage of the last few days.
      Is Glen Campbell just thick as pig shit? Of course he’s not. His job at the BBC, like his colleagues , is to report a lie as the truth; knowingly willingly.
      Interview with the FM in Brussels followed the unionist Better Together nonsense that is slowly building up.
      We’d have to join the euro, according to the increasingly Dim but Nice Campbell.
      Now I know that Campbell knows that we would not meet the criteria to use the euro, and he knows that millions of us know that. Yet he peddles the Unionist propaganda pish. Is Scotland your country, Glen?
      What did they teach you in that wee island primary that you attended with so many famous contemporaries?
      Then we had the Wally Dug Brian Taylor and his political commentators at the close of Holyrood today.
      Who the fuck is Lynsey Bews?
      And why is she sayin these things about us?
      She works for the ‘Press Association, whatever that is.
      In the canteen?
      Is she a journalist?
      For whom does she write?

      Who is Alan Roden?

      He is the ‘Scottish’ political editor of the Daily Mail.

      What the fuck BBC Scotland!
      This man, unchallenged, nay un- lampooned, forecast a second Referendum in 2020/2021 FFS,
      Has madness seeped through the Unionist camp?
      He actually believe that we Scots will sit about for four or five years while his fellow Englishmen form the Second British Empire.
      Taylor nodded and hot foot it to his waiting pie beans and chips with his pals in bar.
      BBC Scotland you are a laughing stock and we have only just begun to fight. And this time it’s a fight, not a campaign. The future of Scotland is at stake, not Professor Tompkins Season ticket.

      • Macart says:

        I suspect if things go the way we hope the 6% swing required to end this nonsense is not as far out of reach as some would imagine. Think for instance of EU nationals resident in Scotland. People who are 1st and second generation EU nationals who may not appreciate having their EU rights and passport removed say?

        Somehow I don’t think our colourful media will sway their opinion much given the path Westminster has taken. The UK became a very unwelcoming place over the past week and IMO, given the nature of the Conservative leadership candidates, its going to get more unwelcoming yet.

        These folks need to know they have a home, that as Scottish citizens, regardless of their point of origin, they are welcome and needed.

  6. Love this. Nicely written, simple, real news with some pep. Thank you very much

  7. tartanfever says:

    The utterly mental thing about all the Tories is that they believe they can have access to the single market and rule out the freedom of movement for all EU citizens.

    May went further by saying ‘Brexit is Brexit, there can be no attempts to remain or re-join by the back door’

    Well what the hell is the EEA deal that you require to be in the single market other than ‘rejoining’ or ‘remaining’ !

    Plus, the EEA deal requires that you still have to agree to 80% of the current agreements the country just voted to get rid of.

    This is utter insanity. The EU meeting of all 27 member states yesterday came out and clearly announced that if the UK wants an EEA deal they will have to honour the ‘ 4 freedoms’ – one of which is free movement of all EU citizens. This has now been stated at leat a dozen times to the UK, yet no-one is listening.

    Meanwhile, the City, which is looking for reassurance from the politicians, is putting out more and more dire warnings of things to come. Yet people are looking at the FTSE100 and saying, ‘oh look, it’s recovered’.

    Yeah it has recovered, because telecom firm shares are going up because they’ll be able to charge us a fortune when we leave the EU and it’s new pricing regulations.

    If anyone tells you that the economy of the UK is ok because the FTSE100 has recovered then I would suggest you take a couple of steps back, nod politely and get the hell away from them.

  8. […] Wee Ginger Dug A bad boy done it and ran away […]

  9. mary docherty says:

    Ferr enjoyed that!!! Cheers tae the dug!!!

  10. Cloggins says:

    If the europeans take too long and impose too many conditions, what is to stop Schotland from a UDI, with a promise to seek approval from the electorate within a few months? Then Europe will be faced with an independent country, EU member, non-threatening for Rajoy and a fait accompli for Hollande. Meanwhile, the British government is still running full circles biting its own tail…

  11. ” Nicola Sturgeon told her that the Tories had wrecklessly brought the country to the edge of disaster”

    I think you mean “recklessly”. There are plenty of wrecks.

  12. Hazel Smith says:

    Great post Paul. Thank you.

  13. Alexander Wallace says:

    Ruthie has gone from hero to zero in a matter of 1 week.The London media are no longer slavering all over her. I think Ruthie must be regretting playing on the big stage now.

  14. Coinneach says:

    Michael Gove is as Scottish as the Eiffel Tower

    • Guga says:

      He didn’t learn his posh English accent at the Eiffel Tower. nor did he lose his Aberdonian accent there. He must have gone for elocution lessons, though they wouldn’t have been paid for by his then Union. He presumably got a grant from the Quisling University.

  15. B19 WOF says:

    Helpless with mirth, yet again…Briliant!
    Thank the goodfaithinScottishhumour instead of running away cause the breeks are keeched….

  16. Tinto Chiel says:

    Great stuff, Paul.

    Well said, JC, tartanarse, Macart and Steve A in particular.

    The message from Europe is: if you want to remain in the EU, have your referendum. Act like a nation, Scotland.

    It’s up to us, the Scots, to put a wee cross in a box.

    I’m sure the FM knows what she’s doing in this respect: the still centre of the turning world.

  17. Jan Cowan says:

    The Canary had interesting news regarding the Boris history. No way could he possibly become PM once that was revealed. A lucky escape for rUK……. may very well have had a thug leading the country.

    Another excellent post, Paul. Thank you.

  18. John Edgar says:

    The farce continues. It seems the English Tory party is now the creek on Brexit. I wonder who will invoke Article 50? The EU? Scunnered at the antics of the Engxiters.
    The EU made it plain, they have to invoke Article 50 first.
    How long can this stalemate go on? Labour is comatose, Conservatives are numb and the LibDems are silent!!
    So much for the English! Nae broad shoulders, better for Scots to be together with these jokers?
    Time to go!!

  19. Mark Russell says:

    Had an interesting conversation earlier tonight with a Whitehall CS who mentioned as a consequence of the constitutional issues arising from last week’s vote, there is consideration being given to a second referendum in the Autumn asking the UK electorate whether they wish to remain part of the United Kingdom – but on the explicit understanding a “Yes” vote would mean the UK would also remain in the EU. Sounds devious enough to be plausible.

    • davidbsb says:

      And what would happen if they lost that one?

      I doubt – unless its to get independent England back in the EU – that there will be any more dangerous referenda in rUK. They really only ask our opinion when it confirms the decision they already took. Nobody expected us to get near the result of IR1. This EU shambols was an aberration.

  20. Macart says:

    Just a thought, but it strikes me that the EU issue is in real danger of taking too much of a centre stage.

    IMO it shouldn’t take over as the central pillar of any prospective referendum. Its a trigger, a change in material circumstance and yet another proof of Westminster’s failure to deliver on its pledges as a state construct. What it is not is THE reason to become an independent nation state. Those reasons (and they are multiple) have not changed from indyref 1.

    My worry is that if you give HMG and their media one issue to campaign upon, they’ll focus ALL their considerable resources on attacking that issue. This should not be a rerun of the EU campaign, but a rerun of indyref 1 with new information which informs the population of the utter failure to deliver by one side of that campaign.

    IMO this should be about a catastrophic FAILURE TO DELIVER on promises made to the Scottish electorate in a mandated and binding plebiscite. A failure which endangers our democracy, our well being and our human rights. It should also recapture and reiterate all the positive reasons, moral and practical, why the Scottish electorate are MORE than capable of making decisions on their own governance.

    Worth thinking about.

    • davidbsb says:

      I very much agree.

    • Aucheorn says:

      My worries have been along the same lines.

      Everything that was promised and did not materialise should be highlighted. Ruthie and her pals will try to rerun project fear, they’re daft enough.

      • Macart says:

        Yeah, they are at that.

        This time though we don’t allow them the advantage of picking the battle ground and we don’t give them an easy target to focus upon.

        IMO one aspect of any possible referendum MUST be about PLEDGES, catastrophic FAILURE TO DELIVER & eventual CONSEQUENCES. And a second aspect shouldn’t be about borders or what country you want to live in, but what KIND of country do you want to live in?

        The EU issue must be put in its correct place as ‘the final straw’ and evidence of where UK governance and its constant inept short-termism and public manipulation has taken us.

        • Sue de Nymme says:

          I agree totally. The next campaign must be run comparing the calm, steady, integrity of Holyrood compared to the broken promises, lies and deceit of Westminster.

    • Robert Graham says:

      agree 100% listening to people there are a lot of people in this country who haven’t a clue and dont realise how they were well and truly shafted by Cameron , this became apparent with the Tories being elevated to opposition status at Holyrood , god preserve us at least the other parties are starting to turn on them as they should have before the last election where Ruthie tried her best to hide they were tories .
      The BBC should at every opportunity be called out on their lies and distortions on air when they can’t cut or edit what has been said , this must be addressed immediately , call into question their impartiality on air go for the mouthpiece commonly refered to as the interviewer .

  21. Iain says:

    Seeing Michael Gove blathering on in suit, shirt and no tie is like watching a church of Scotland minister in 1969 having a barbecue to bring the youngsters closer to Jesus. Cool and funky.

  22. John Edgar says:

    Labour’s Shadow Chancellor now outlining Labour position on post Engxit.
    No free movement and no return to the EU.
    He has given in to the little Inglanders and Ukippers
    That puts Labour on England at odds with the Scottish result to stay.
    What will Labour in Scotland say noo? Or will they dae as they are telt?
    But, he is a Corbynite; what do the other Labour anti corbynites say? Kezia Dugdale is one!
    We await

  23. Iain Ross says:

    Thought hard about posting this but…

    I work in an open plan office and I have just started to hear the first rumblings of the ‘plastic Jocks’. Despite what is happening I have just heard two people agree with each out that IndyRef2 is a complete waste of time, why would we want to be anything but British they ask? Apparently anything that weakens our link with London would be a disaster. On top of that we just can’t afford it and Sturgeon is a waste of space and should be concentrating on her day job as the country is a mess.

    After the crushing disappointment of last time I was just starting to feel a flicker of hope, but this has been a sobering reminder to what shall we shall be up against. There is a huge faceless wall of people out there who just do not want to listen or let go.

    Sorry if this comes across as negative but I think we need to keep this in mind.

    • AuldGranny says:

      Totally agree. I’m still hearing from No voters who haven’t changed their minds and have absolutely no intention of doing so. They will submit to whatever London tells them, even though they didn’t vote for it. And all because they see themselves as “British” (not because of their religion, may I add). There is a visceral hatred in them for all things SNP or independence related.

    • Sheepy says:

      I had the exact same sensation. Feeling buoyed and hopeful and then on Facebook the naesayers started to appear – apparently some UK rag (The Express?) has said Scotland has a huge financial deficit and the worst finances in Europe and they were all over it saying how dare the Nats try and ruin us with their Independence at any cost idiocy. It makes me want to weep. How do you make people like this see sense?😦

      • Macart says:

        You don’t. You can’t.

        The only thing you can do if you find yourself in conversation with this view is, as pleasantly and diplomatically as possible, thank them for their time and move on.

        We win the arguments and voters willing to listen, even though they may have voted no last time round. People ideologically opposed will almost certainly vote exactly the same way again regardless of what misery the Westminster system inflicts. We’re looking for those who voted for financial reasons, or were independence ‘not yet’. We’re looking for those who voted out of fear or lack of confidence, or misplaced party allegiance in a people’s referendum.

        Most importantly, we show them an open door and an open hand regardless. They need to have confidence that WE won’t reject them.🙂

  24. Dan Huil says:

    Ruthie hasn’t a clue. The bbc loves her of course.

  25. Iain says:

    Those Europeans are crafty, aren’t they? They snub someone by meeting her, talking to her and getting their photographs taken together.

    • davidbsb says:

      Keep it in mind. Same with any stuff Theresa comes out with about Scotland.

      I have been taking an interest in political messaging. I understand you pick 5 or 6 key “facts” and relentlessly hammer them. Gove’s intention is one of those kind of things. If he gets the poisoned cup get it on every flier. Wants to end Barnett – Anti Scottish. Could cause end of Free tuition/prescriptions/etc. Relentlessly.

      F@ck them. This time we should play as dirty as them when it suits us. Bunch of Caermichaels.

  26. Macart says:

    Hope you clocked the FMs speech at the Queen’s visit to Holyrood Paul.

    It was a beaut.🙂

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