It was just a few short days ago that I blogged about British nationalists’ unending search for victimhood status. It was only on the 17th of this month that I wrote about how apologists for the UK in Scotland, and particularly those who support the Conservatives – a party which demonises the poor and the marginalised as a matter of policy – are themselves convinced that they are the most oppressed and victimised group in the entire history of the multiverse. It hasn’t taken long at all for them to prove my point. And this time the vile creature who is victimising them is me.
Today I’ve been accused of incitment and of threatening Conservative voters. Threatening them with what exactly I’m none too sure. It’s probably not fabulousness. One charming individual posted my photo with the caption “this is the degenerate loser who’s threatening Conservatives”. I’m sure there was far worse, but I’ve long since blocked the most egregious frothers in the yoonstream so it doesn’t appear in my timeline.
Well, there’s a result. If I’ve managed to send British nationalists in Scotland off into a paroxysm of spluttering spittle flecked ire, that’s got to be a job well done. Although it would be a job even better done if they were angry about something that I’d actually said, instead of something that they only imagined I’d said, or a sentence that they’ve taken out of context in order to feed their sense of self righteous victimhood.
To be clear, it’s not that I have any problem with pissing off British nationalists. Indeed pissing off British nationalists is pretty much the entire point of this blog and much of what I write. Any sensible person rejoices when learning that they’ve pissed off moronic frothers on social media who spend their days seeking something to feel offended by. When I hear that something on this blog has pissed off a British nationalist my immediate reaction is to laugh, and then to run with it and wear it as a badge of pride. A bit like the badge that Matt Hancock is offering to care workers, only without having to pay for it. So for example when Scotland in Union’s resident frother Tom Gallagher accused me of Gaelic imperialism after he discovered I’d drawn a Gaelic map of Glasgow, I simply resolved to use “Gaelic Imperialist” as the title of my autobiography if it ever gets written.
It’s just that when pissing off British nationalists does happen it is far more satisfying if it has happened deliberately, and not because they’re unable to comprehend basic English or because they’re reacting to a sentence taken out of context. I’d prefer it happened because of my actual words and opinions, and not because of what they think I’d said. I am quite happy to piss off the British nationalist morons of social media deliberately, but then I remember that when you’re trying to piss off a moron you shouldn’t really complain that the moron fails to grasp the point. So instead I’ll just file this latest outbreak of Scottish Tory harrumphage under “unexpected windfall”.
Today The National has published my regular weekly column. This week the article is about how no amount of SNP baddery will save the Scottish Conservatives at the next Holyrood elections. This is because Boris Johnson bears considerable personal responsibility for the mishandling of the current crisis by the British government. Towards the end of the piece there’s a comment on those Scottish Conservative politicians who mounted the ill-fated Operation Arse in 2016 in an attempt to prevent Boris Johnson winning the leadership of their party and becoming the Prime Minister. It’s this reference which has caused such a disturbance in the yoonstream. It has generated some pretty foul personal abuse, quite a bit of being called a c*nt, and remarks about my personal appearance, none of which is leavened with any wit, or indeed intelligent thought.
Towards the end of the piece, there’s this paragraph, which I will quote in full because The National article is behind a paywall. The link to the entire piece is here : https://www.thenational.scot/news/18392734.no-amount-snpbaddery-will-save-scots-tories-next-time/
“Boris Johnson sought the position of Prime Minister through lies, deception, and mendacity. It should come as no great surprise, least of all to those Scottish Conservatives who mounted the ill-fated Operation Arse back in 2016 to keep him away from the leadership of their party, that having won the role through deceit and lies he lies and is deceitful in his performance of it. Those Scottish Conservatives are now very quiet, in their silence they prove themselves to be as deceitful and mendacious as Boris Johnson himself. Now the only goal of the Scottish Conservatives is Operation Arse-Covering. Scotland is a small country, we all know who you are, and we will remember your craven silence at the next Scottish elections. No amount of SNPBaddery is going to save you from yourselves.”
The reference here is clear. I’m talking about how we all know who it was within the Scottish Conservatives who organised and supported Operation Arse in 2016, and how those individuals are now very quiet and are rallying behind Boris Johnson. The electorate of Scotland is not going to forget that. However because The National, when they tweeted a push quote to promote the piece on social media, didn’t quote the entire paragraph, all the British nationalist frothers on Twitter immediately decided that they were being personally threatened with violence, intimidation, or worse. Nicola Sturgeon has already been called upon to condemn. Some roaster has even tweeted at Police Scotland.
If there’s any incitement here it’s an incitement to get out and vote. It’s an incitement to remember what the Conservatives have done. It’s an incitement not to forget their hypocrisy and their lies. If there’s a threat it’s the threat that they’ll lose votes at the next election. It’s the threat that their own actions only destroy their own credibility. However in the fevered imaginations of British nationalists on social media, this is tantamount to threatening all opponents of independence with violence. If it makes them feel better I’ll plead guilty to threatening them with sarcasm and a withering look.
This entire episode is a perfect illustration of the determination of British nationalists in Scotland to paint themselves as victims and only reinforces the point made on this very blog just a few short days ago. No matter how ridiculous it makes them seem, British nationalists will take any statement, any premise, any argument, and twist it so that they can act like a poor wounded puppy. That’s because they have no substantive arguments of their own to make, and the only hope in hell that they’ve got of attracting support is to play the pity card and hope that they can make people feel sorry for them. If that’s all they’ve got, they’ve already lost.
And finally, because we could all do with some cheering up during these difficult times…
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