Christmas is approaching, the season of goodwill and rampant commercialism. Don’t say that this blog doesn’t participate to the full. So here’s a blatant plug for stuff that you can buy for your nearest and dearest, stuff that they’ll take one look at and go “Oh … that’s, eh … nice. So you didn’t buy me that designer handbag / drone / iPhone 11 / Lego set of the Death Star that I’d been dropping heavy hints about for months then did you?” Unfortunately I wasn’t responsible for The National’s production of plushy toy dugs, so sadly you can’t buy one. They were a one-off for a promotion in the paper. Rare, highly collectible, and probably appearing on an eBay site near you very soon.
However in the spirit of the Santa of capitalism, you could purchase a copy of my latest book. Out just a few short months ago, it’s packed full of Wee Gingery Duggish goodness, wit and repartee, and jokes stolen from 1980s drag acts which were expunged by the sub-editors at The National. OK, I lied about that last bit. But here’s a joke stolen from a 1980s drag act that doesn’t appear in the book – Sex is like a game of bridge. You either need a good partner, or a good hand.
Copies of the book are available for just £11.95, plus £3.50 P&P , a total of just £15.45 for over 350 pages. That’s a mere 4.4p per page, don’t say it’s not value for money. I’ll even sign it for you, and stamp it with a rubber stamp crafted from the actual paw print of the actual dug. I did try to get Ginger to stamp books with his paw using food dye and a lot of doggy treats as bribes, but he got bored after the first two and then traipsed food dye all over my cream rug.
Or how about a T-shirt? T-shirts are £12 each, and are available in small, medium, large, XL and XXL sizes. P&P is £3.50 for up to three t-shirts.
Each t-shirt bears a cartoon of the dug guarding an independence bone which was designed by Chris Cairns, the creator of Hamish the Lion. The logo was specially commissioned from Chris for this blog. That’s yer actual art that is.
Gaelic maps are also available. The Gaelic map of Scotland is A0 in size – measuring 841 by 1,189 millimetres (33.1 in × 46.8 in). The map is at a scale of 1:600,000 and also contains insert detailed maps of the main urban areas in Scotland. Shetland and Orkney are shown in their correct geographical position. The map is entirely in Gaelic, except for the Northern Isles where names are given in Old Norse. The map costs £15 plus £7 P&P.
Some regional maps are also available. These are A1 in size, measuring 594 x 841 mm or 23.4 x 33.1 inches. These maps are to a scale of 1:100,000 or 1 cm to 1 km. The available maps are
Glasgow & Inverclyde
Kintyre Arran & Bute
Galloway & Carrick
These maps cost £10 each. The illustration shows a small detail from the Gaelic map of Glasgow.
Unfortunately the P&P on these is also £7 each as it is determined by the size of the cardboard tube that they are sent in. However if you purchase two maps (either two regional maps, or a regional map plus a map of Scotland) P&P can be combined. (£27 for two regional maps, or £32 for a regional map plus the map of Scotland.)
You can buy any, or all, of these goodies making payment via Paypal. Please make sure that you include a postal address where the items are to be sent to. If you want a T-shirt, please specify the size. And if you want a signed copy of a book, please let me know who the book is to be dedicated to.
Paypal payments can be made to the following address firstname.lastname@example.org
If you either can’t or don’t want to use Paypal, please email me at the above address for alternative payment methods. Please note that the postage quoted is for posting within the UK. Postage to other destinations is more expensive, please ask for details.