You don’t square a circle by replacing the circle with a Lambeg drum

Well that was predictable. The EU has looked over the British Government’s die in a ditch proposal for a Brexit deal, and has gone “meh”. And as was equally predictable, one of the main sticking points is Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson’s plan to give the DUP an effective veto. The terms of the Good Friday Agreement already give the minority of drum bangers the ability to hold the rest of the Northern Irish population hostage. The British Government’s new plan for Brexit would give them the ability to hold the entire island of Ireland hostage. The British Government’s idea of progress is to turn the fate of the island of Ireland over to a bunch of reactionaries who still long for the 17th century.

The position of the DUP is that Northern Ireland must be treated exactly the same as the rest of the UK. Except for the same right to gay marriage, but apart from that, identical. And except for the same right of a woman to choose an abortion, but apart from that, identical. And except for the same recognition and government support given to Celtic languages in other parts of the UK where they are traditional, but apart from that, identical. And except for giving a party which only receives less than 30% of the popular vote a veto. But apart from that, identical. So totally identical to the rest of the UK, except when it suits the DUP and keeps them in an entrenched position of privilege, and that’s not hypocritical of them at all, oh no.

The Republic of Ireland has dealt with its own backward elements which until very recently deprived citizens of access to abortion, and equal marriage, they’re not about to surrender control of their economy to a bunch of right wing reactionaries who only wanted Brexit in the first place so that they can erect a hard border with the rest of the island in the hope of preserving their failing Britishness in orange flavoured aspic. You could even say that it was always obvious that the response of the EU to this proposal would be gan géilleadh, which is Irish for no surrender.

The fundamental problem here is that if the British Government insists on the DUP veto, then the plan will be rejected by Dublin. Yet if the British Government can’t get the support of the DUP by giving it a veto on the final status of Northern Ireland then it can’t get the plan through the Commons. It’s not just that they depend on the 10 votes of DUP MPs, if the DUP rejects the plan then many of the MPs in the Tories’ Brextremist ERG are likely to reject it too. However if the DUP don’t get their veto, they are highly unlikely to support the plan. The British Government came up with this wheeze because Theresa May was caught between a rock and a hard place with the Irish backstop. Now with this new plan Lyin’ Bastert Johnson has just substituted the hard place for the hard face of the DUP. He’s just as trapped as his predecessor was. You can’t square a circle by replacing the circle with a Lambeg drum.

At a press conference in Dublin on Thursday afternoon, the Taoiseach Leo Varadkar said that he was not at all happy with the plan to allow the DUP to veto something that everyone else on the island of Ireland was in favour of. He was also unhappy with the way in which the plan would require Northern Ireland to be in a different customs zone from the Republic, and did not think that the plan meant that tariffs, checks, and customs posts could be avoided. His message to Westminster was go home and think again.

Meanwhile the European Parliament, which will have a veto on any final deal, has said that the plan as it stands is not remotely acceptable. The Parliament’s Brexit committee has said that the “last minute” plan cannot form the basis for an agreement. In a statement the influential committee said, “Safeguarding peace and stability on the island of Ireland, protection of citizens and EU’s legal order has to be the main focus of any deal. The UK proposals do not match even remotely what was agreed as a sufficient compromise in the backstop.” Which is how a diplomat says, “Oh forgodssake, why are we still having to put up with such crap from these people.”

Donald Tusk, the president of the European Council, called both the Irish and British prime ministers today. His tone was very different in each call. He told Leo Varadkar that the EU stood fully behind Ireland. He told Boris Johnson that he was havin’ a laff. Well no. Not in those words exactly. What he really said was the EU was still “unconvinced” by the British Brexit plan. That’s a nice way of saying “They don’t call you Lyin’ Bastert Johnson for nothing, do they.” He did add that the EU remained open, by which he meant that if the British Government manages by some miracle to pull its collective head out of its collective arse, then the EU would like to hear some proposals which are grounded in reality and not based in the British nationalist delusions of British exceptionalism.

Tusk’s comments reinforce the denial of the Irish Government that it is coming under pressure from the EU to agree to the British plan. This exercise in wishful British thinking – well, I say “thinking” – was aired in some pro-Brexit cheerleading papers this week. For a certain type of British nationalist it is unthinkable that little Ireland should have greater international clout than the mighty UK. It has always the role of the UK to boss Ireland about, not for Ireland to tell the UK how things are going to be. Welcome to the new reality Brextremists.

The realisation that the UK now has less international clout than Ireland does as a member of the EU will prove to be a humiliating lesson for British nationalists. It should also be a lesson for those opponents of Scottish independence who insist that Scotland must be a part of the UK in order to have wider influence in the world. Ireland is a part of a union which supports its interests. The rest of the EU is standing behind Ireland to ensure that Irish interests are protected and defended. Scotland has had precisely zero influence on the outcome of Brexit. There is no one else who is standing up for Scotland’s interests. We are isolated and powerless within the UK. Estonia (population 1.5 million), and Malta (population 460,000), have more influence on the outcome of Brexit than Scotland does.

There’s only one country in the British Isles which is an equal partner in a family of nations. It’s not Scotland.

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16 comments on “You don’t square a circle by replacing the circle with a Lambeg drum

  1. Bill Hume says:

    OK, before you read this, be aware I’ve had a few (actually quite a few) pre-prandial ‘cocktails’.

    We know all of this…….a blind/deaf person with no sense of touch knows this.
    What I want to know is who or what Boris is going to blame for this latest fiasco?
    The EU….intransigent bastards?
    The Irish (the English have form on this one)?
    The Scots?………very possible.
    The fallout from the unremitting right wing press EU BAD shit is about to hit the fan……and they are going to need a scapegoat.

    I, perversely, quite like the idea of becoming a scapegoat.

    It might just focus a few minds in Scotland

  2. Bob Lamont says:

    All’s well on the Western Johnson/Foster/Rees-Mogg/Duncan-Smith/Francois/etc, never understood cockney rhyming slang anyway…
    Excellent synopsis as always, but frankly I doubt any expect anything less than stupid from these clowns.

  3. Terry callachan says:

    So that’s scene one of the pantomime finished

    Scene two of the pantomime will take place in Westminster where we will once again see
    MP,s voting as instructed by their party leader
    MPs NOT voting as instructed by their party leader

    MPs voting as their constituency majority voted
    MPs NOT voting as their constituency majority voted

    Where they will all agree is that they will vote for whatever lines their own pocket
    and they actually say this farcical behaviour is in the national interest
    For the good of the country ?
    Well NO it’s not “ the country “ for me is Scotland

  4. gavin says:

    Come, come. Be fair.
    Big Arlene has exhausted Norn Irn’s pocket money on the “home fires ‘n heat up yer byres” scam . She now sees the south/EU as a new source of readies.
    She got a bung from May.
    She got a bung from Boris.
    Why? Because…….she knows….if she beats her drum, and parks her bum, they will have to pay, and pay, and pay to get rid of her.

    The EU and Ireland should have nothing to do with this daft plan. Let Boris swing in the wind.
    An election is coming and the SNP HAS to sweep the board in Scotland with a manifesto based—–
    not on a referendum for independence—- but on independence itself.

    • Petra says:

      Don’t forget Gavin that the forthcoming GE will exclude 16/17 year old and EU Nationals votes which will result in a great loss for (an Independent) Scotland. Better to hold the GE followed by Indyref2, imo.

      • Terry callachan says:

        Well said Petra

        • gavin says:

          Excuse my ignorance but…………..this IS a FPTP election?
          A MAJORITY of Westminster seats will empower—-
          Boris….. As he will invoke a No Deal Brexit–constitutional change.
          Corbyn…… As he will do ……..something involving constitutional change.
          Swinson….. As she will cancel Article 50. Constitutional change.
          Its doubtful if any of these parties will gain much more than a third of the votes.

          Why should the SNP be different? A majority of Scottish seats for the SNP should allow them to fulfil a manifesto commitment. Their share of the vote might well be higher.

          If your enemy is making a mistake in their tactics, do not interrupt them. Use that mistake for your own advantage. Of course the Brit Nats and their media will cry foul, and deny us independence, but it will appear totally hypocritical to the Scottish public, and an appeal for Indyref2 will be easier to justify.

  5. Ex Pat says:


    Ireland’s national broadcaster RTE has gone out of its way to give Bozo credence and to play his own ‘faking negotiation on the way to a No Deal game’ back at him. Why would they do that? They’re playing the Green Card for Ireland. No, Really!

    A. The Benn Act. If they, and the government, spin this out until the 19th of October the problem will be back with the UK parliament and it will be responsible, for Bozo’s request for a Brexit extension. Or for his ‘cunning plan’ if there is one.

    Going on excellent recent example, the UK Supreme Court stands ready to crush any illegality. And the very best of British luck to them. It couldn’t happen to a more deserving Bozo.

    Given the history, everyone in Ireland will do whatever is needed to aid the country at this time. There is _no_ opposition to the government on this matter in the Dail. That’s how the Green Card works. 4.5m people rowing together. You’ll like it. Very soon I hope.


    The reason that Ireland is at peace via the Good Friday agreement, aka the Belfast agreement, is because the Irish are very good at the long game. What long game? Any long game. This one, for instance.

    “IRA vs Al Qaeda: I was wrong,” by ‘the War Nerd’ aka Gary Brecher, Fresno file clerk – The Exiled

    But those under the whip for 800 years are _always_ far ahead of those who wielded it for 800 years.

    – @50:08 Noam Chomsky – Rebel Without A Pause – Youtube –

    Which is Scotland – janissaries of the English across the Empire, or victims, under the whip? Or a bit of both, like Ireland to be honest. Some Scottish nobles – sided with the English? The Scottish people – largely victims ? No change there!

    But thankfully we live in the twenty-first century; less whip, eh?

    Don’t tell the Tory Scum ™. At least not until Bozo is free to go back on HIGNFY. ; )

  6. Interpolar says:

    The thing about an abortion is that in order for a mother to exercise her “rights” (and even then is sometimes pressurised to do so), an unborn child must lose his/her life. The child has about the same influence over the outcome of the abortion as Scotland has over Brexit, and that is something we should remember in the abortion debate. Apart from that, I agree with the article.

    • Terry callachan says:

      But interpolar surely you must agree that the child cannot live without the mother sacrificing so much of her being in getting to the stage of birth, usually nine months , it is not fair or reasonable to give the child within the womb priority over the mother that carries it if their best interests are not the same.
      The mother must always always always have the choice to decide if she is going to give birth .
      Once a child is born it’s different.

  7. “The British Government’s idea of progress is to turn the fate of the island of Ireland over to a bunch of reactionaries who still long for the 17th century.”

    An indisputable general observation.

  8. Reblogged this on It's shite being Scottish and commented:
    A perfect analysis ….

  9. Ex Pat says:


    Bozo’s game – Blighty vs the Hun – Except we’re not supposed to see through it. Oh Dog !

    Philippe Lambert of the European Green Party on Bozo’s Game –

    “He wants to have his Battle of Britain moment. And for that you need an aggressor and he has to find one and that’s the European Union. And a very difficult moment; a moment of national survival; and that would be No Deal Brexit. And he would promise the country Blood, Sweat and Tears and say that we will come out a greater nation. And you can already hear that in everything he’s saying.”

    “And so he needs to deliver that, _but_ there’s one important caveat. He must not be seen as having engineered this.”

    (SO. ER, Oops ! ? Ed.)

    – Philippe Lambert – EU Green party – on BBC – via twitter –

    SO. Classic Dom – ‘cunning plan’ FAIL. Yet again !!


    If your ‘cunning plan’ always relies on not having anybody with a brain on the other side are you a genius, or a moron ??

    Of course you can also be an imbecile. Or an idiot. Cretin is not a measure of IQ, though… ymmv.

    (IQ – Moron (51 – 70) Imbecile (26 – 50), Idiot (0 – 25) )

    Brigid Laffan – Supreme (non-UK Muppet Stream Media) Brexit info source : ) – Twitter –

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