Five guys named Woe

That didn’t last long. Within a day and a half of Theresa May’s Road to Brexit speech, the speech whose main purpose was to signal the road to Conservative unity, the party’s at handbags at dawn again. You know that you’re in trouble when the ruling party in a country contains more drama than you’ll find in a single episode of a reality TV show featuring everyone who has ever appeared on Big Brother. Only far less mature than that suggests. The speech was billed as Theresa’s big pitch to bring the entire country together behind her vision of Brexit, but she couldn’t even manage to get her party together. They were indeed lining up behind her, it’s just they were doing so in order to stab her in the back.

On Friday Theresa May set out a vision of Brexit that was wide-ranging, ambitious, and which even contained moments of grandeur. The problem was that it was also completely unmoored from anything approaching reality. It’s all very well elaborating on the flavours that you’ve already hinted at in previous fudges, but there’s very little point in producing a detailed recipe for a cherry topped cake so that you can win on Bake Off when the EU has already told you a thousand times that this is news and current affairs and not some cheap attention seeking publicity stunt featuring Ruth Davidson. Although given the output of the British nationalist media in Scotland you could be excused for not appreciating the distinction.

By Saturday night, the Conservative grandee and Thatcher-era minister Michael Heseltine was telling anyone who’d listen that May’s speech was as useful at getting the UK closer to a Brexit deal as presenting Jacob Rees Mogg with a squealing infant producing some suspicious smells and expecting him to change its nappy. In fact that’s pretty much what the UK has done with the EU, presented it with the soiled nappy of Brexit and demanded that it cleans up the mess. Heseltine pointed out, quite reasonably for once, that it doesn’t make things any better to dress the dirty nappy up with a cherry on top. The first rule for any successful politician ought to be that they deal with reality, and not some fantasy. If Margaret Thatcher was the Iron Lady, Theresa May is the Denyin’ Lady.

Saying that she’s aiming for a Brexit that works for Britain is like saying that you’re aiming for a crack habit that works for you. In 18 months the Prime Minister hasn’t budged an inch, but she still calls for everyone to get behind her. She’s still in thrall to the hard Brexiteers of the European Reform Group, still determined to press for a Brexit that the EU has repeatedly stated she’s not going to get, still not being honest with the public about the damaging economic consequences of Brexit. Delusion is the new consensus, denial is the new realism. The only way that remain supporters are going to get behind Theresa May would be to push her and her Brexit bus off that cliff of her own making. Theresa expecting everyone to enthuse and support her vision of Brexit is rather like telling Sylvia Plath that you’re organising a tupperware party to help cheer her up.

Not that the Tory right cares whether us plebs get behind Theresa’s Brexit or not. They’ll enrich themselves whatever happens. The Eton boys with their Oxbridge degrees and hedge fund management will stir up the right wing press against an ‘elite’ that strangely never seems to include them. Brexit will be a bonfire of regulations that protect the less well off from the depredations of the powerful, but they’ll tell us that they’re doing it all in the name of freedom. It’s just that they’re doing it for their freedom and not ours.

The Tory right is what you get when you distill the essence of English exceptionalism and spray it on the UK like the product of a skunk’s anal glands. We won the war but we’re still out on penalties to Germany, let’s blame those Brussels bureaucrats with their unbent bananas. It’s all the fault of migrants, not big businesses bleeding money out of the public sector. The Tory right wants us to believe that everything can be solved with a little bit of Dunkirk, conveniently forgetting that Dunkirk was a defeat. The fig leaves of Union have fallen and rotted, Brexit has exposed the UK as a project of a backward looking and reactionary English nationalism.

Labour is little better. Its own divisions have exploded this weekend as Kezia Dugdale announced she was launching a campaign within the Scottish branch office to support membership of the single market and customs union. You might think that it would have been better for her to do this before she resigned and waltzed off to the jungle to make cake from kangaroo testicles and shredded her reputation in the process, but this is Labour in Scotland we’re talking about here. Foresight isn’t their strong suit. Although to be fair neither is hindsight, and they would be challenged by looking right then left then right again before crossing the road. The party is struggling to come up with a coherent policy on Brexit because they still haven’t worked out a way of blaming it on Thatessempee that the anti-independence press is likely to swallow. Even though that’s setting the bar pretty low.

The entire UK is threatened because the overriding priority of the Conservative party is to keep a lid on its internal divisions. The entire UK is threatened because the Labour party is trying to face two ways, its leadership supporting Brexit while trying to keep a lid on a party in which the majority is opposed. The UK is divided, weak, the laughing stock of Europe, the sick man of the developed world, living on nostalgia and WW2 fantasies of standing alone. The British government is being driven by the delusions of the hard Brexiteers, blind to the harm and damage that they’re causing. Boris Johnson, Jacob Rees-Morgue, David Davis, Liam Fox, and Michael Gove, the UK is being held hostage by Five Guys Named Woe.


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46 comments on “Five guys named Woe

  1. Macart says:

    Couldn’t agree more Paul. ‘Course Treeza’s problems are in the many fold, but her greatest is that the UK isn’t a country. There is no country to unite. It is a unitary state formed by a political treaty of union with two signatories and comprised of multiple nationalities. How and ever, beyond even that, politics as it is practised in this United Kingdom is the very thing that prevents the nations and demographics within those nations from uniting behind its central government. The Tories and their media did their job only too well. Their constant narrative of divide and divide again in their own narrow interest has ensured that no one is any mood to reach across those divides. Well done them.

    I know I posted this last thread, but it seems pretty apt here.

    Something to consider.

    HMgov’s impact report… pretty devastating. Scotgov’s impact report, also pretty devastating. Both informed by independent reportage from varied sources. A varied collection of economic publications paint an equally grim picture over the past two years.

    So it comes down to this. Support political union, then folk must be aware by this point that they enable Brexit and it follows they would enable untold harm to the economy, prosperity, services, life chances of their respective populations.

    There is no good Brexit. It is beyond reasonable doubt that there would be an across the board contraction of the economies of the UK. Country by country and region by region. Those who would willingly vote in support of this would also no doubt support extended Tory government and austerity ideology. It goes without saying that with contraction, austerity ideology will not simply be extended, but aggressively pursued beyond current levels. Devolution, human and civil rights won’t go unscathed through this process.

    As for societal ramifications outwith the obvious? What can you say that hasn’t already been said about the nature of the EU referendum campaign and its aftermath. Isolation and out of control blanket demonisation of varied demographics won’t go away. There will always be a requirement for another scapegoat.

    So it’s about that time. People need to ask themselves. Is this what they signed up for in 2014? What kind of country do they want to live in? What legacy will they pass on?

    It’s not too late and the population of Scotland do have an alternative option. If we want it. Also? If we’re going to get behind something. We may as well make it something worth the having.

  2. […] Wee Ginger Dug Five guys named Woe That didn’t last long. Within a day and a half of Theresa May’s Road to Brexit […]

  3. hettyforindy says:

    Another excellent article. Lost for words as to the total shambles of the UKGov. Sneaky feeling that this is all being orchestrated, or at least in part, from outwith the UK. Soon the UK will find itself like those seals, being tossed around and played with, before falling into the whales’ mouths. Cruel but nature’s way.

    Brexit is emerging as counter to the natural way of things. To go out of your way to organise the destruction of your own hive, can only be described as utterly mad.

    Meanwhile, Scotland’s bees have been building new hives, and are set to fly away from the one that is in self destruct mode.

    Janus, ie the labour party, have only themselves to blame for their demise in Scotland, they just will not accept that Scotland is no longer the rabbit in the headlights when it comes to voting for what’s best for Scotland.

    Day by day, it’s looking more crucial for Scotland to at last thrown off the shackles of the so called union, before the UKGov net is tightened, we cannot allow them to remove any powers from Scotland. Devolution light, as it is, is a bizzarely unequal relationship, and nothing but Independence for Scotland, with England standing on it’s own two feet, will suffice in order to move fully into the 21st century.

  4. Marconatrix says:

    May’s speech was “… wide-ranging, ambitious … even contained moments of grandeur … [but] also completely unmoored from anything approaching reality.”
    Brilliant, that’s it in a nutshell 🙂

    It seems to me though that both party leaders share the same dilemma, more or less. Their supporters are divided over Brexit, so compromise is called for. The problem is that something in between, a sort of softly-softly kind-of-Brexit, where we almost remain in all but name, just leads to the worst of all possible outcomes.

    There are obvious advantages to remaining. There could possibly be advantages to making a clean break. I rather doubt it, but it is at least conceivably possible. But a compromise, meet-in-the-middle solution, just means paying and obeying without having any real clout. Who honestly would want that?

    Y’know, I almost feel sorry for them … almost but not really.

    • Almost … no … the hell wi’ it! I dinnae feel sorry for the scunners at aw! They got themselves intae this boorach but there’s nae reason we should follow. #IndependenceNow!

      • Marconatrix says:

        Well no really. T’was Mgr Cam-shròn who put everyone’s nose out of joint by asking a daft quesion, and when he screwed up and got a daft answer … we were all stuck wi’ it … t’was The Will O Ra Peepal after all 😦

  5. Alba woman says:

    Watched Andrew Marr this morning…he seemed nervous not his usual patrician self. The two folk he had reviewing the papers were led happily by the nose towards Andrew’s establishment views…he even finished their sentences for them….Andrew was of the view that Treeza had done good with her speech and the other two nodded away

    The tories were given stacks of airtime to give their propaganda a good airing..I just didn’t have the heart to watch more than five minutes of Treeza with the layers of eye makeup. Just couldn’t do it today.

    Fortune favours the Brave and there are plenty of Scots awaiting Fortune’s call.

  6. Waiting for Scotland says:

    I foresee the inevitable break up of the United Kingdom in only a few short months. The UK is trapped within a paradox of its own creation. Fiction is now policy.

    The absurd idea of getting behind this shower of congenital idiots is pure comedy gold. It would have done their nation far more good if “the people” had just pushed them under their big red bus.

  7. Andy Anderson says:

    I have nothing but contempt for our UK government. Two words sum them up, “incompetent tossers”.

    How dumb they are to not understand you cannot unpick the four EU club freedoms. You would think that being in the EU for donkeys years that they would know. They are on the scented baccy I think.

    • Marconatrix says:

      A taste going back to those heady days of the Raj, perhaps? In their muddled befuddled little heads they never really joined, they just sort of went along with Johnny Foreigner for a bit, but their hearts were not in it. Couldn’t be : the concept of being just another equal member of a club hit their reality bypass big time. When if ever will their delusions of glory fade?

      • Yes, I think your right. Back in the seventies when they joined they thought they could take over and run the show within a few years. This never happened, never could be. So they’ve been in the huff for years and now finally Brexshit. Complete wasters.

    • rovivorltd says:

      At least on the “scented Baccy” ya come ta yer senses when it wears aff,

  8. J .Coogan says:

    Thank Christ for you Paul , putting my frustrations into words,watching the TV news plays with your mind which is of course what they want .Just a thought however do you think they sense cracks appearing in EU unity ? do the bastards know something we don’t yet? They are as slimy as a Teflon coated eel remember.
    As for the comments re. free in a few short months ,to be honest my arse is knitting socks, I don’t think I could take another doing from the bastards.

  9. Macart says:

    http://www.thenational.scot/news/16064300.EU_nationals__to_lose_their_right_to_vote_in_post_Brexit_indyref2_/

    You know what I find deeply depressing of recent times? The boneheads who want the EU to fail. Those who want it to fail in order to vindicate their xenophobia, their isolationism and their Brexit vote. They can’t just fucking leave and wish their one time fellow travellers awe ra best. No. NO, they want the abject failure of the EU because… reasons.

    Y’know, it has its major faults, not least are those at the top of the tree who use it to further their own financial and geopolitical agenda. That could be said of any major nation or bloc on the planet tho. It desperately needs overhauling if it is to survive as a concept, no question.

    The thing about this bloc however? The thing that makes it worthwhile even as an idea or aspiration, are the four freedoms and what they brought to the table… Peace. The longest term of peace and prosperity on the European continent in its modern history. The four freedoms made this possible. As a concept, it’s an aspiration that speaks to the best in us. Each member gave a little of themselves, to make the whole work. (The heid bummers in the EU better take heed of that founding concept.)

    The alternative should this ideal fall apart? The history of the European continent pre the founding doesn’t cover itself in glory. Maybe some folk like strife. Maybe they love misery, constantly holding their neighbours in fear and suspicion. Maybe they enjoy the fear bit themselves? Instilling or living with. Who knows? Certainly, they have very short memories.

    Personally, I like having friends. I enjoy sharing cultures and ideas. This isn’t the treaty of union. No one forces you to join or stay. You don’t need to ask anyone’s permission to go pee, or hold your hand up and beg for your yearly handout. And no one from the continent ever called me a ‘sweaty’.

    I’m proud of our new Scots and their desire to make Scotland their home. It is an honour that they have found our wee corner of the globe worth living in. We cannot, must not, abandon them.

    Worth thinking about I’d say.

    • “I’m proud of our new Scots and their desire to make Scotland their home. It is an honour that they have found our wee corner of the globe worth living in. We cannot, must not, abandon them.” Indeed we must not, Sam. Once again, you put my disorganised thoughts into coherent words. Thank you.

  10. At the risk of repeating myself, the tories plan is going swimmingly and that is to walk away with no deal in place. The blame for this fiasco will be laid at the feet of anybody their pals in the M.S.M can find to blame.
    I too believe that we must have a second Scottish Independence Referendum before the 29th, March, 2019. The only matter that bothers me is that in my case because I’m getting on in years, we will have to campaign throughout next winter. Here’s hoping it’s a bit better than the one we’ve just gone through.

  11. J Galt says:

    Cue more WW2 myth-making hype with Garry Oldman winning the Oscar for his portrayal of that creature Churchill – bit of a coincidence that film coming out now – and on top of that rubbish about Dunkirk last year!

    • Iain says:

      Two programmes about Winston Churchill last night, one on Channel 4 and the other on More 4. Programmes about the king who abdicated on TV on Saturday night. A ginger-haired “royal” (#cough) marrying a starlet called Sparkle at public expense.

      Has Rumpuk become the Grand Duchy of Ruritania already?

    • In the mid ‘fifties, JG, Saturday afternoon at the pictures was THE highlight of our week.
      Hundreds of wee boys and girls sooking frozen Jubblies and sooking gob stoppers marvelling at the wonders of America in technicolour up on the screen. Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis, sunshine, shiny big cars and Soda Joints. It never rained, except of course when Gene Kelly conjured it up, and it was always warm and colourful.
      Oh how we dreamed of being in Louie’s Drug Store with the Bowery Boys slurping a Banana Split or straining a chocolate malt through a straw.
      The Land of milk and Honey, Home of the Brave, and Big John Wayne.
      Between the two features, we had to endure the boring Pathe News, it’s cockerel heralding a mass toilet break.
      When Auld Wiinnie the bevvy merchant appeared on the screen, chomping on his cigar and waving a V sign to the camera and his adoring millions, we all booed.
      We hadn’t a clue why we were booing, we just did.
      Doubtless the older kids knew why they didn’t take to the old War Horse. Perhaps we just followed their lead.
      Of course, I know now why we booed.
      Yet in the wake of Brexit, Empire 2, make Britain Great again, we have a Churchill Movie, a quite embarrassingly bad Dunkirk effort, and Lo and Behold, the American Communications industry, run by the Oligarchs who rule the world, shower the movie with Oscars.
      England stood alone against the Hun. God save the King, and all that jazz.
      £400 million approved by a sub committee to do up Buck House, and Premier Inn has no room at the inn for the homeless.
      This sceptre’d isle indeed.
      England will be the 51st State, and Wales will be the new fracked to death North Dakota.
      I wish them luck. No one is taking my EU citizenship from me, by force, coercion, or bailiff.

  12. Iain says:

    I’m not sure why it took Theresa May around 20 months to get her speech writers to cobble together something that should have been delivered in the week following the EU referendum. I was going to say “slow but sure”, but the only accurate word is “slow”.

  13. chicmac says:

    Woe! Woe! and thrice Woe! as Senna the Soothsayer used to declaim on ‘Up Pompeii!’.

    Morgue’s ( 🙂 ) Victorian vibe is far too modernistic, we are heading back to Romano-Britain, slaves and all.

    If Fluffy had some funny quips, intentionally that is, he could be a neo Lurkio.

  14. Grafter says:

    Today’s National…..EU citizens will lose their vote in Indyref 2 after March next year. The dye is cast. Time to get the show on the road.

  15. Ahem, we’ve been posting this up on this site since the Brexit vote. Come next April EU citizens even in Scotland will be persona non gratis.
    Hence May’s ‘now is not the time ‘ mantra, and Camouflage Ruth’s quite remarkable and frighteningly psychotic Nicola Sturgeon obloquy on Gordon Brewer’s putrescent burst appendix to ‘Sunday Politics’ yesterday.
    We need their votes. We go before England leaves the EU in March 2019, my contention for a very long time now.
    Indyref 2 is not ‘a once in a lifetime opportunity’.
    In the unlikely event that NO won the day, the dream will never die, consider this:-

    ‘Do you realise that what you are suggesting is revolution?’
    ‘Of course it’s Revolution. Why not?’
    ‘Because there can’t be a revolution.
    Our revolution was the last and there can’t be another. Everybody knows that.’
    ‘My dear, you are a mathematician; tell me, which is the last number?’
    ‘What do you mean, the last number?’
    ‘Well then, the biggest number.’
    ‘But that’s absurd. Numbers are infinite. There can’t be a last one’.
    ‘Then why do you talk about the last revolution?”

    ‘We’. E.I. Zamyatin

    There can be no ‘last’ Indyref.

    • wm says:

      Well put Jack, there is no need for me commenting when you and Sam are there.( I just like to let you know now and again that I am still keeping my eye on the comments)

      • Brewer considers his audience base as thick as mince.
        The 111 areas in Clause 11 are mainly about common frameworks setting out paint standards and such.
        The greatest trick the devil ever pulled, wm, is conning the proles into believing that he doesn’t exist.
        The devil in Gordon Brewer’s detail centres on standardising Dulux paint colour charts across his precious YooKay.
        Nothing to see here, move on.

    • Cubby says:

      Neverending referendums is a suitable riposte to neverending lies deceit propaganda broken promises etc.
      However hope only one more is required.

  16. astytaylor says:

    Timing is everything.
    Hence, wake up, world, and do the right thing.
    Since this is more narrowly a blog about the need for Scottish independence (thank you, WGD), wake up, Scotland, for goodness sake.
    This, for me anyway, represents a real pivotal point in world history. There are probably, and obviously, many pivotal points, but for Scotland, and Scots, this is it.
    I’m coming back there soon. This wee corner of BC, Canada, where i live is all very nice, and all that, but i can’t rest easy at nights seeing the absolute chaos and downright ruin that is being brought to bear on my family, friends, and fellow Scots.
    Time to get the show on the road. Going to get the band together again. Sandy, Suds, Martin, Dave, Alastair, Rhona. Get ready.
    And get the ball rolling, Nicola. There’s no time to waste. Before too many moons have passed. Before the end of March 2019. Listen to JC, he knows what he’s on about.

    • Brian Fleming says:

      JC? Jesus Christ? Jeremy Corbin? Surely not. Do you mean the irrepressible Jack Collatin? If so, I second you.

      • Och, Brian, I performed the miracle of the loaves and fishes at the week end when some of out tribe descended on us on a bleak dismal Sunday afternoon, looking to be fed.
        Minestrone from the freezer, garlic bread, Spag Bol and a wee Barolo.
        Not quite the five thousand but a wee winter warmer nevertheless.
        Many were cauld, but few were frozen.
        There ‘s only one JC, and it ain’t me.
        Whem I’m feeling really low because of this Brexit nonsense and Blue Tory Greed and Elitism, I visit the Sermon on the Mount. Does it for me every time, and I’m not particularly ‘religious’.
        Vaya con Dios, Brian.

      • astytaylor says:

        Yes, the irrepressible Jack Collatin.
        I’m not sure what your man Jesus thinks of Scottish independence, but suspect that he would be in favour. Feeding the poor, taking care of the downtrodden, an’ aw that.
        He wis a bit of a socialist himself.

    • Andy Anderson says:

      Nearly everyone north of London.

      • Macart says:

        Also?

        twitter.com/AileenMcHarg/status/970733252096004096

        (just add https:// before the address)

        • Sam, well done that woman!
          A wee abstract from their legal opinion on the Scots/ Welsh Continuity Bills, which given that Wales voted Leave and Scotland Remain, cannot be considered as ‘grievance’ politics.

          “The scope of the regulation-making powers is also different. For one thing, the restrictions in the Withdrawal Bill preventing the Scottish Ministers from amending retained direct EU legislation or directly effective EU law are removed.

          Second, use of the powers is subject to a necessity rather than merely an appropriateness test.

          Third, there are additional restrictions on the use of the powers. They cannot be used to amend equalities legislation, or the Scotland Act 1998, or any of the protected subject matters listed in section 31(5) of the Scotland Act 1998 (i.e., issues subject to the special majority requirement). Nor can they be used in a manner which interferes with the independence of the judiciary, or confers a function on a Scottish public authority that is not broadly consistent with its general objects and purposes.”
          The Scottish Parliament is merely ‘taking back control’ of devolved areas of government.

          It goes on:-

          ” The provision is, in other words, aimed at preventing the ministerial powers in the Withdrawal Bill or other Brexit legislation being exercised in devolved areas without the consent of the Scottish Ministers.”

          Mike Russell patiently explained to a jaded Gordon Brewer the difference between the UK Government ‘consulting’ on the fabled retained 25 areas of Clause 11, and the Scottish Government ‘agreeing’, common frameworks where appropriate among the 111 devolved powers returned from Brussels.

          Barnier will reiterate the 4 red lines tomorrow.

          rUK is out of the EU and therefore will not be part of a Customs Union, out of the Single Market, will not permit freedom of movement and labour from the EU27 bloc, and will no longer be subject to EJC laws.

          The Brit Nat Dead Tree Scrolls and BBC will interpret this statement of facts, which we have been discussing on here for 18 months, as ‘threats’ from Johnny Furriner.

          Davidson and Mundell will exhort us all to forget the 62% Remain and get ‘behind the country’ (England) and give the Froggies Fritzes and Fernandos a bloody nose.

          It is panning out as we thought, Macart.

          Over by October, the next hitchin’ post on the Road to Scottish Self Determination.

          • Macart says:

            Just to be clear for readers Jack. Those 111 powers? They are not covered by the devolution settlement. The settlement IS that those powers not specifically reserved by Westminster government fall under the remit of the devolved legislature. In other words, those powers are not for Westminster to take or grant percentages of. They ALL belong to the peoples of Scotland and it is for our representatives to decide whether they are loaned or not as the case may be.

            What Westminster is attempting is naked theft.

            DO NOT let anyone tell you otherwise people. M’kay?

            • It bears repeating as often as possible, especially when Mundell or Davidson are in TV studios implying that WM has the power to decide otherwise and the presenter allowing them to get that lie out across the airways unchallenged..
              .

  17. Oor Hana says:

    Good one, as always WGD

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