So there you are, thinking that there can’t possibly be anything to top Alex Salmond presenting a chat show on Russian telly, and then along comes Kezia Dugdale going – Haud ma drink. Kezia has decided that she misses Scottish Labour’s diet of repellant, unpleasant and suspicious things that reek to high heaven, so she’s going to go on I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here. Still, at least it distracts attention from the car crash that is the party’s leadership. It doesn’t even have an interim leader, just an interim interim leader, although to be fair even once the results of the leadership election is announced on Saturday it will still only have an interim leader, because that’s the only kind of leader that Labour in Scotland has ever got. There are small insects without mouth parts with a longer life expectancy than a leader of the Labour party in Scotland, as Kezia will doubtless discover once she’s in the jungle and is having them instead of cornflakes. The news that Labour’s ex-leader in Scotland figures that jungle challenges are part of the day job came as a huge surprise, but knowing Kezia’s unerring sense of judgement as we do however, the real surprise will be if she manages to end up in the right jungle.
Still, it’s churlish to complain about Kezia’s decision to appear on light entertainment telly shows, she’s only copying Ruth I’m a Panellist Davidson’s example. No one in the Unionist media who’s complaining now was too upset when Ruth decided that part of the day job was appearing on Have I Got News for You or Celebrity Bake Off. That last show has Great British in the title so it counts as promoting the Union. And a cake recipe is certainly far more coherent than anything that Ruth has ever presented as a policy. Alex has his own chat show. Kezia’s got I’m a Celebrity. Ruth’s got Celebrity Bake Off. Wullie Rennie is really pissed off, but apparently he’s in negotiations to appear on the front cover of the bus timetable for the number 17 to Kelty.
It’s just a shame that Kezia complained about Nadine Dorris doing the same when she appeared on the show. That’s the problem with digging such a deep hole, the chances are that you’ll fall in it yourself. Which sounds like a jungle challenge. However it is interesting that the Scottish Conservatives stoke up sectarian bigotry leading to a huge rise in anti-Catholic hate crime and the Scottish media says nothing, but Kezia goes on a reality telly show and all hell breaks loose. Priorities, eh.
It’s rumoured, at least by the voices in my head, that originally Kezia asked the producers of the programme if Anas Sarwar could come on the show with her. However they pointed out that they were already in negotiations with the agent of a vapid socialite who’d sold her wedding photies to Hello magazine, so they’d already filled their quota of smug self-satisfied talentless clowns with a sense of entitlement who’re only in the public eye because they’ve got a rich and well connected daddy.
After spending months and months banging on about how Nicola Sturgeon needs to focus on the day job, Kezia has decided that the job description of a Lothian list MSP includes schmoozing with Ant n Dec while Boris Johnson’s dad gets covered in cockroaches. It will be fine. There’s no way that a politician can humiliate themselves by appearing on a trashy reality telly show is there? I mean George Galloway is still a respected elder statesman and no one remembers him in a leotard pretending to be Rula Lenska’s pussy. Anyway, I never actually wanted Kezia to win anything before, so I’m still trying to process these new and unexpected feelings.
I even went back onto Twitter briefly to get a wee skwatch at the reaction of Duncan Hothersall, the Scottish Labour twitteropinionator who has an opinion about absolutely everything. Unfortunately he was doing an impression of a BBC Scotland reporter doorstepping Ruth Davidson about all the bigots, racists, misogynists, and general misanthropes who inhabit the ranks of her party’s cooncillors. Naewhere to be seen, in other words.
Labour’s usual suspects on social media are pure beelin. There they were, trying to extract the maximum outrage possible out of Alecsammin being on Russian telly, and along comes Kezia swinging a pair of kangaroo testicles. I cannae wait for Alex to discuss Kezia’s appearance in the jungle on his chat show on RT. The Scottish Unionist media will have a collective fit of apoplexy that will make a Daily Mail leader writer seem like a calm and rational philosophy professor and the entire country will drown in the frothing outrage.
One prominent Labour person even tweeted a suspicion that Kezia is actually an SNP plant at the very heart of the Labour party. Seriously. That’s how desperate they are to turn this into an SNP bad story. Scottish Labour people are stomping about with faces that could fry a punn of mince from halfway across the galaxy, a skill which would probably be pretty useful in the jungle. Some Labour politicians are demanding that she surrender her MSP’s salary for at least the period when she’ll be in Australia, but to be fair she’s paying her own way there in terms of what’s left of her party’s credibility. They should be glad she’s going. She’s the only person appearing on the programme that anyone in Scotland is likely to recognise. All you really have to do these days to become a celebrity is to go on Jeremy Kyle and trade insults with your significant other. Kezia is a class act by comparison. She traded insults in an actual Parliament. And usually lost, but still.
Kezia’s decision to appear on I’m a Celebrity and the announcement just hours before the results of the leadership contest are announced is a massive screw you to a dysfunctional and moribund party which conspired against her at every opportunity and then stabbed her in the back. This is her Johann Lamont branch office moment. She’s serving back to her ungrateful party the same contempt that they gave to her during her time as leader, only this time it’s with kangaroo testicles and roasted locusts. It serves them right.
The Wee Ginger Dug has got a new domain name, thanks to Indy Poster Boy, Colin Dunn @Zarkwan. http://www.indyposterboy.scot/ You can now access this blog simply by typing www.weegingerdug.scot into the address bar of your browser, the old address continues to function, the new one redirects to the blog. The advantage of the new address is that it’s a lot easier to remember if you want to include a link to the blog in leaflets, posters, or simply to tell a friend about it. Many thanks to Colin.
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