I’m a Labour ex-leader, get me out of here

So there you are, thinking that there can’t possibly be anything to top Alex Salmond presenting a chat show on Russian telly, and then along comes Kezia Dugdale going – Haud ma drink. Kezia has decided that she misses Scottish Labour’s diet of repellant, unpleasant and suspicious things that reek to high heaven, so she’s going to go on I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here. Still, at least it distracts attention from the car crash that is the party’s leadership. It doesn’t even have an interim leader, just an interim interim leader, although to be fair even once the results of the leadership election is announced on Saturday it will still only have an interim leader, because that’s the only kind of leader that Labour in Scotland has ever got. There are small insects without mouth parts with a longer life expectancy than a leader of the Labour party in Scotland, as Kezia will doubtless discover once she’s in the jungle and is having them instead of cornflakes. The news that Labour’s ex-leader in Scotland figures that jungle challenges are part of the day job came as a huge surprise, but knowing Kezia’s unerring sense of judgement as we do however, the real surprise will be if she manages to end up in the right jungle.

Still, it’s churlish to complain about Kezia’s decision to appear on light entertainment telly shows, she’s only copying Ruth I’m a Panellist Davidson’s example. No one in the Unionist media who’s complaining now was too upset when Ruth decided that part of the day job was appearing on Have I Got News for You or Celebrity Bake Off. That last show has Great British in the title so it counts as promoting the Union. And a cake recipe is certainly far more coherent than anything that Ruth has ever presented as a policy. Alex has his own chat show. Kezia’s got I’m a Celebrity. Ruth’s got Celebrity Bake Off. Wullie Rennie is really pissed off, but apparently he’s in negotiations to appear on the front cover of the bus timetable for the number 17 to Kelty.

It’s just a shame that Kezia complained about Nadine Dorris doing the same when she appeared on the show. That’s the problem with digging such a deep hole, the chances are that you’ll fall in it yourself. Which sounds like a jungle challenge. However it is interesting that the Scottish Conservatives stoke up sectarian bigotry leading to a huge rise in anti-Catholic hate crime and the Scottish media says nothing, but Kezia goes on a reality telly show and all hell breaks loose. Priorities, eh.

It’s rumoured, at least by the voices in my head, that originally Kezia asked the producers of the programme if Anas Sarwar could come on the show with her. However they pointed out that they were already in negotiations with the agent of a vapid socialite who’d sold her wedding photies to Hello magazine, so they’d already filled their quota of smug self-satisfied talentless clowns with a sense of entitlement who’re only in the public eye because they’ve got a rich and well connected daddy.

After spending months and months banging on about how Nicola Sturgeon needs to focus on the day job, Kezia has decided that the job description of a Lothian list MSP includes schmoozing with Ant n Dec while Boris Johnson’s dad gets covered in cockroaches. It will be fine. There’s no way that a politician can humiliate themselves by appearing on a trashy reality telly show is there? I mean George Galloway is still a respected elder statesman and no one remembers him in a leotard pretending to be Rula Lenska’s pussy. Anyway, I never actually wanted Kezia to win anything before, so I’m still trying to process these new and unexpected feelings.

I even went back onto Twitter briefly to get a wee skwatch at the reaction of Duncan Hothersall, the Scottish Labour twitteropinionator who has an opinion about absolutely everything. Unfortunately he was doing an impression of a BBC Scotland reporter doorstepping Ruth Davidson about all the bigots, racists, misogynists, and general misanthropes who inhabit the ranks of her party’s cooncillors. Naewhere to be seen, in other words.

Labour’s usual suspects on social media are pure beelin. There they were, trying to extract the maximum outrage possible out of Alecsammin being on Russian telly, and along comes Kezia swinging a pair of kangaroo testicles. I cannae wait for Alex to discuss Kezia’s appearance in the jungle on his chat show on RT. The Scottish Unionist media will have a collective fit of apoplexy that will make a Daily Mail leader writer seem like a calm and rational philosophy professor and the entire country will drown in the frothing outrage.

One prominent Labour person even tweeted a suspicion that Kezia is actually an SNP plant at the very heart of the Labour party. Seriously. That’s how desperate they are to turn this into an SNP bad story. Scottish Labour people are stomping about with faces that could fry a punn of mince from halfway across the galaxy, a skill which would probably be pretty useful in the jungle. Some Labour politicians are demanding that she surrender her MSP’s salary for at least the period when she’ll be in Australia, but to be fair she’s paying her own way there in terms of what’s left of her party’s credibility. They should be glad she’s going. She’s the only person appearing on the programme that anyone in Scotland is likely to recognise. All you really have to do these days to become a celebrity is to go on Jeremy Kyle and trade insults with your significant other. Kezia is a class act by comparison. She traded insults in an actual Parliament. And usually lost, but still.

Kezia’s decision to appear on I’m a Celebrity and the announcement just hours before the results of the leadership contest are announced is a massive screw you to a dysfunctional and moribund party which conspired against her at every opportunity and then stabbed her in the back. This is her Johann Lamont branch office moment. She’s serving back to her ungrateful party the same contempt that they gave to her during her time as leader, only this time it’s with kangaroo testicles and roasted locusts. It serves them right.


The Wee Ginger Dug has got a new domain name, thanks to Indy Poster Boy, Colin Dunn @Zarkwan. http://www.indyposterboy.scot/ You can now access this blog simply by typing www.weegingerdug.scot into the address bar of your browser, the old address continues to function, the new one redirects to the blog. The advantage of the new address is that it’s a lot easier to remember if you want to include a link to the blog in leaflets, posters, or simply to tell a friend about it. Many thanks to Colin.

gingercartoonWee Ginger Donations & Speaking engagements

You can help to support this blog with a Paypal donation. Just click the donate button.
Donate Button

Or you can donate by making a payment directly into a special bank account, or by sending a cheque or postal order. If you’d like to donate by one of these methods, please email me at weegingerbook@yahoo.com and I will send the necessary information. Please also use this email address if you would like the dug and me to come along to your local group for a talk.

Many thanks

52 comments on “I’m a Labour ex-leader, get me out of here

  1. Joan Summers says:

    Well, I’m with wee Kez, then, for the first time ever…..

  2. Macart says:

    LOL 😀 I should have known better Paul. Bunnet chucked oot the windae.

    Must admit that when I first heard the rumour, I couldn’t quite believe it. Definitely a coffee and keyboard moment. You’re not going to lack for subject matter for the foreseeable future fer sure.

    Just think though, we’ve still got over a month left of 2017. (cough)

  3. […] Wee Ginger Dug I’m a Labour ex-leader, get me out of here So there you are, thinking that there can’t possibly be anything to top Alex Salmond […]

  4. Alex Clark says:

    I’m almost ashamed to be Scottish that someone who aspired to be our FM can ridicule herself like that, That does give me the cringe,

  5. Scott Cameron says:

    Her decision is so utterly perplexing I’m convinced Alan Roden(t) was behind it

  6. Davy says:

    This beggars belief, what the f-k has the wildlife in Australia done to deserve Kezia .

    Still I can’t wait to hear someone from the labour “tie me kangaroo down” party accuse Nicola of not doing the day-job now. It will just boomerang right back at them.

    Sorry but its hard not to laugh.

  7. Anne Martin says:

    Nothing like a good laugh to set you up for the day. Thanks Paul.

  8. Carlos Jackal says:

    I am totally sick of this media circus crap. Dugdale should be fired. Then she can bugger off and be a Z-grade celeb for 10 minutes, which has always been her metier and level, really.

  9. Stookie says:

    Scotland’s answer to Christine Hamilton??

  10. Double the pleasure, Paul – I’ve just read this piece out loud to my darling wife (a non internet user) and both of us had a right good laugh!

  11. emilytom67 says:

    Not much of a change from the House of Parliament/I,m a celebrity all fuds/duds,when you think of it where collectively does that put the voting populace who vote them in term in term out,just as thick?

  12. Macart says:

    It appears Mr Leonard has become this year’s branch leader then. Mr Sarwar may be joining Kezia in the jungle any time now.


    Car crash speech… that’s pretty much it.

  13. Robert Graham says:

    Well I think Kezia is a brave wee soul , i wonder how many here would be able to stomach some of the stuff thats in store for her , then again being involved with labour in scotland gives her a head start over the other contestants , scottish labour know no depths to their two faced duplicity, at least in the jungle there might be some rules to follow .

    Yet another temporary mouthpiece elected by labour in scotland , you can almost write the pish this new one is about to come out with , honest this re-invigoration is different from all the other re- launches , this lot have had more comebacks than Frank Sinatra ,

    The distinct english accent of the new temporary placement gives the proceedings a certain gravitas , it confirms to the dopes who still follow labour that london are well and truly in charge .

  14. The number 17 bus tae Kelty had me on the floor, brilliant.

  15. Dan Huil says:

    She getting on with her G’Day Job: undermining so-called Scottish Labour’s new messiah?

    British nationalist politics continue to be a sick joke.

  16. Alba Laddie says:

    “He’s just a Kelty clippie, he’ll no take nae advice…and he gangs tae the bingo every night with curlers in his hair.” (With thanks to Alastair McDonald.)

  17. Robert Harrison says:

    They think she’s an snp plant hahahahaha oh my sides

  18. Whitburnsfinest says:

    Shady. As. Fcuk. Just the way I like you, Paul. Never change, bud!

  19. Brilliant! I guffawed aloud … the image of Dugdale in jungle gear and swinging a pair of kangaroo testicles is one I will find it hard to banish! If only Ruth the Mooth would go as well ….

  20. Vorderman got £200K.Ola Jordan £90K Scarlet Moffat £70K. Dugdale should coin in £35k – £40K easy. £10k a week if she even lasts 4 weeks? Nae bad. She’ll be gey wurrit tae boot her constituents who have their Universal Credit cawed fae under them ower Xmas. Aye. So she wull.

  21. Davidson and Dugdale are a perverse joke foisted upon the good citizens of Scotland by their English Masters.
    Is there any other job on this planet where you can just swan off for a month, trouser money for eating worms, plus pocket a wage from your real job, and not be missed?
    We have Blue Tories baking cakes, holding lectures at that Unionist hive, Glasgow Uni, and running the line at fitba’ matches.
    They arean insult to democracy.
    Coining in wads of cash while half a million freeze and starve this winter.
    Dugdale is a ‘celebrity’?
    Now I know what it means. Useless waste of space, never off the telly or the front pages of the Dead Tree Scrolls.Will do anything, say anything for filthy loot.
    I fail to see the humour in this. I really don’t

    • Sandy cuthbert says:

      Well said.

    • No … it’s no’ funny when you put it like that, Jack. I’m heart-sore for the people who will be rendered potless, and very likely homeless to boot, this “Festive Season”. It almost makes you hope there IS a Hell so that the vast majority of Politicians and Whitehall Mandarins can rot there for eternity!

    • Marconatrix says:

      Funny the associations that arise from childhood … “Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, think I’ll go and eat worms …” etc.
      Kind of appropriate in a way.

      And didn’t a diet of worms somehow lead to a reformation ???
      (All a bit 1066-and-all-that, I know)

      • I love the way your mind works! It’s the sort of “flowery path” my own mind follows. Oh, and ‘1066 And All That’ has been a favourite since I was old enough to recognise satire, even if I didn’t yet know what it was called.

      • ‘big fat juicy ones, ‘Marco.
        Took me back, ‘The Diet of Worms”
        Just in from the rub a dub dub, where as usual, we solved the problems of the world, and ‘tonight, Matthew, I am going to be Tom Jones….’

      • chicmac says:

        Oh bravo Marco.

        At least Ruth may have some cake for her to take the taste away when she gets back, albeit half baked.

        • Marconatrix says:

          “… let them eat cake”. That really does fit, I think.

          • chicmac says:

            Being entirely unconditioned to any criticism from any MSM quarter it will be interesting to see how Ruth takes, or doesn’t, comments from the judges on Bake Off. Paul Hollywood himself might end up with a soggy bottom.

    • Graham Fae Fawkirk says:

      That’s because there IS no humour in it. It’s a disgusting disgrace, for the reasons you mentioned.

  22. Jan Cowan says:

    I wonder if poor Willie Rennie reads your blog, Paul. And George Galloway? You never allow sleeping dogs to lie……..thankfully. Fairly brightens a wild November day!

    • Robert Harrison says:

      Doubtful Jan he must feel humiliated as the snp helped bifab reach a deal to save there workers while he did nothing but rant about big ecks new show while the fife workers was in limbo and he’s an mp in east fife ffs where was he during this nowhere east fife damn it east fire rennie as he did nothing for you lot as I’m betting some in your area worked for bifab and all he went on about was Alex salmond instead of helping you lot out

    • chicmac says:

      I’m sure Paul makes an exception for the WGD’s well earned rest periods. 🙂

      It is a toughie trying to figure out where Willie and the LibDems fit in between the Red and Blue Tories. However using the idea that much can be gleaned from how people interact with animals and the power of Venn Diagram analysis, I offer the following, not strictly serious, more half baked, suggestion:

  23. TSD says:

    Reblogged this on Ramblings of a 50+ Female and commented:
    Very witty and somewhat cutting, as usual!

  24. Stuart Miller says:

    I love you man you speak for me

  25. Cat Agatha says:

    Until around 9 pm tonight, I thought the whole Kezia Jungle story was a joke like “What if…” or “Imagine if…”. What is the woman thinking? These programmes exist not to make obscurities famous but to lampoon the idiocy of stupid wannabes. She never seemed totally engaged as Branch Manager. Maybe she’ll move on to what she really wants – being a host on Santa Ponsa Weekender

  26. Macart says:

    Take it you’ve clocked the twatter stooshie over a Michael White tweet Paul?

    Brace yourselves.

    And journos wonder why they’re held in utter contempt. Why they’re not trusted and why folk won’t rally round and support their failing titles and careers.

    Well? Q.E.D. moment right there, I’d say.

  27. […] always excellent Paul Kavanagh posted this yesterday – and it’s not so much political comment as pure comedy gold. I had to share […]

Comments are closed.