The Colonel Boakie March

Over the weekend, Ruth Davidson crossed the thin red line between jolly photo opportunities, and dangerously narcissistic attention seeking. She appeared for her adoring public, or at least for her adoring pals in the press, dressed in army uniform as Colonel Ruth of the 32nd Signal Regiment. She was signalling that Scotland is now in the same league as a tin pot authoritarian state whose leaders adorn themselves in medals and braid and fancy uniforms. Still, it did mean that she was able to avoid difficult questions about why her pal Ian Duncan has now got a job as a government minister in the Scottish Office even though he was rejected at the ballot box by the voters of Perth. Ach silly me. Imagine thinking that the Scottish Unionist press is going to put difficult questions to Colonel Boakie. Oh how we laugh.

There are plenty of difficult questions which Colonel Boakie avoids by dint of her sick makingly manipulative photo opportunities with captured wildlife, dead fish, uniforms, dogs with bits cut off them, and weaponry – all things which the Tories are exceptionally fond of. She’s avoiding the question about Ian Duncan’s legitimacy. It will be interesting to hear Ian tell us that “the people said no and they meant it”, because apparently it doesn’t appear to apply to him. She’s avoiding the question about the assurances that she was reportedly given by Theresa May on LGBTQ rights, shortly before Theresa went and appointed an inveterate homophobe as her Justice Secretary and then did a deal with the DUP whose idea of LGBTQ rights is the right to stand outside a gay person’s house and scream Satan! Apparently hurling abuse at gay people is a lifestyle choice, so we shouldn’t be judgemental. All the episode proved was that when it comes to exerting influence on the British government, the Scottish Tories are regarded as just another bunch of moaning Scots with chips on their tweedy shoulders.

Now she’s avoiding another difficult question. Just a few days ago Colonel Boakie’s very own Fluffy Bunny and Governor General assured us that there would be no deal with the DUP that involved Northern Ireland getting money that circumvented the Barnett Formula. The Scottish Tories were going to fight Scotland’s corner and wouldn’t approve any deal that saw Northern Ireland get cash that was denied to Scotland. No, really. Stop laughing at the back there. They weren’t going to approve any deal that entailed going via the back door to avoid the Barnett hallway.

But then of course their bosses in Westminster went and did that anyway, because when it comes to saving their own political necks, and more importantly their careers, the concerns of the Scottish Tories are as much interest to them as the vegetarian option is to Sawney Bean. The Scottish Tories can disapprove all they like, but they’ve got bugger all means of stopping their bosses doing exactly as they please. And when their bosses go ahead and do it anyway, the Scottish Tories rush to their defence like the good little toadies that they really are. Fighting Scotland’s corner really means doing nothing, and then defending what they said they were going to prevent from happening. If this is how Colonel Boakie fights her corner then she’s wasting her time posing in her military uniform, we’d be as well replacing the armed forces and the Ministry of Defence with a freephone telephone number and a recorded message saying мы сдаемся, which is Russian for “we surrender”.

Because of this dirty little deal with the DUP, the Westminster government is now going to give an extra £1 billion in funding to Northern Ireland. There is a magic money tree after all, and it comes into fruit when the political careers of Theresa May and her cabinet are at stake. All it takes is fertilisation with a whole load of bull and a pork barrel full of hypocrisy. Colonel Boakie is good at bull, having posed on the back of one for a cheery photo opportunity. The extra money being thrown at Northern Ireland would work out, proportionately, at around £3 billion extra for Scotland and about £2 billion for Wales. Neither Scotland or Wales or anywhere in England is getting an extra penny.

The Tories lost the election in Scotland. They lost in Wales. Across England millions voted for change. Theresa May stood on a platform of trust in the most presidential election campaign the UK has ever seen, and she lost her majority and with it the trust of the voters. Yet it’s only Northern Ireland which will see the end of austerity, and that only as a result of an underhand deal in order to keep Theresa May in her job and to keep on imposing austerity on everyone else. Meanwhile the Irish Peace process is shattered and battered and the fate of the UK is put in the hands of the heirs to Ian Paisley. How’s that Ulsterisation of our politics working out for those unionist journalists now? Trust in Theresa plummets even lower with this underhand deal.

What makes it even worse is that it’s a deal that never needed to be made in the first place. It’s not like the DUP were ever going to vote to bring down the government and allow Jeremy Corbyn, friendly as he is to Irish Republicans, into power. This deal proves Theresa May’s lack of political sense and negotiating stupidity. She’s given away a large chunk of money. She’s put the Peace Process at risk. She’s undermined the Union even more. She’s angered the English regions. And all for nothing. And this is the person who’s supposed to get Britain a good deal from the EU.

For the Scottish Conservatives this deal and the failure of the British government to listen to anything that Fluffy or Colonel Boakie say proves that the Union is effectively dead. They’re all noise and no heft. The Scottish Conservatives are proving that they are the voice of the Union in Scotland, not the voice of Scotland in the Union. If a union provides benefits only insofar as it’s useful in propping up the rule of a particular political party, it’s no longer really a union at all. It’s a tin pot semi-democracy where politicians think its appropriate to dress up in public in military uniforms while their cronies get jobs in government even though the voters rejected them. Colonel Boakie’s march will drive Scotland to independence.

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46 comments on “The Colonel Boakie March

  1. Andimac says:

    You’re right, there was a magic money tree all along and, amazingly, it is an orange tree!

    • Andimac – orange is the new black? I’m thinking blackshirts. I can only hope that enough of our compatriots are disgusted enough by seeing sectarian bigots holding the whip hand at Westminster that they decide they’re going to vote Yes after all.

  2. Andy Anderson says:

    A very accurate summary of our Union support up here and the chaos developing in London. Well said Paul.

  3. Thepnr says:

    This is a disaster for the Good Friday agreement. Power sharing between the DUP and Sein Fein is over and direct rule from London must be the only outcome. How can that survive with the DUP in power supporting the Tories?

    I doubt it can, Sein Fein will use this as a means to strengthen the case for a United Ireland and a referendum. This whole shitty deal will collapse, expect another General Election sooner rather than later.

    • benmadigan says:

      “direct rule from London must be the only outcome”

      It may well be in the end but . . .
      legally speaking there’s supposed to be another election and . . .

      if that doesn’t work out Westminster has to pass legislation sanctioning Direct Rule.
      It can’t just take over as it did in the past.
      Wonder if a Bill to sanction Direct Rule that will pass muster in the current atmosphere of the HOC?

      Am not sure if the ROI, as co-guarantor of the Good Friday/Belfast Agreement has any input into these procedures

      PS you’ll notice no Agreement on the name of the Agreement!!! Which the DUP never supported anyway

  4. scotsgeoff says:

    Can you imagine the reaction our wonderful free press (TV & print) if Corbyn as PM had done a deal with Sinn Fein to support him into power by giving them a bung of £1 billion?

    Me neither…

  5. Therapymum says:

    I thought that we paid tax money into Westminster to benefit the people of the UK, not to prop up the Tory Party! And apparently the DUP will be back to the money tree for more.

    So instead of being democratic and negotiating with the other parties across Westminster to have a party of national unity, which would at least demonstrate to the EU that the UK was united (hah!) and might actually show a bit of leadership, the undemocratic Tories decided to give £1billion to a minority party to back them in Westminster that would support them anyway. And we, the people who provided the money in the first place have no say in the deal.

    I don’t know how anyone else feels, but I’m furious. If it wasn’t that I’m a bit afraid for the SNP after the GE, I would hope that the whole house of cards would come tumbling down. No wonder the UK is the laughing stock of Europe!

  6. […] Wee Ginger Dug The Colonel Boakie March […]

  7. scrandoonyeah says:

    What I want to know is: has Ruth Davidson and Kim Jong-un got the same biological father or whether they were born to the same virgin mother?

    For God’s sake

  8. Alice Sharp says:

    steam coming out of my ears. WGD spot on as ever. Many thanks

  9. Andimac says:

    The Electoral Commission, in its Summary of Electoral Offences, states, “Bribery –
    The offence of bribery includes where someone directly or indirectly gives any money or procures any office to or for any voter, in order to induce any voter to vote or not vote.” Funny how if I gave someone £100 to vote a particular way I could be subject to the full force of the law for buying their vote but the Tories can buy 10 votes for £1½ billion and that’s O.K.

  10. Of Course Gerry Adams has already been on the telly, backed by his Sinn Fein colleagues rubbishing the deal.
    May’s produced her initial thoughts on future status of the 3 million EU bargaining chi..sorry, workers in the UK and the 1.2 million UK ‘ex pats’ living retired and working in ‘EU27’.

    This from:-

    Policy paper
    The United Kingdom’s exit from the European Union: safeguarding the position of EU citizens living in the UK and UK nationals living in the EU
    Published 26 June 2017

    “The Common Travel Area (CTA)
    The CTA comprises the United Kingdom, the Crown Dependencies (the Channel Islands and the Isle of Man) and the Republic of Ireland. Movement without immigration controls for nationals of the CTA is important in the special relationship that exists between these states.

    Para 5) Our proposals as set out below are without prejudice to Common Travel Area arrangements between the UK and Ireland (and the Crown Dependencies), and the rights of British and Irish citizens in each others’ countries rooted in the Ireland Act 1949. These arrangements reflect the long-standing social and economic ties between the UK and Ireland and pre-date both countries’ membership of the EU. As such, we want to protect the Common Travel Area arrangements, and Irish citizens residing in the UK will not need to apply for settled status to protect their entitlements. We have also been clear that our exit will in no way impact on the terms of the Belfast Agreement. We will continue to uphold in that context the rights of the people of Northern Ireland to be able to identify as British or Irish, or both, and to hold citizenship accordingly.”

    So May is about to risk the CTA and the restoration of the North Ireland Agreement just to buy the DUP’s votes?
    Scotland cannot have an alternative to Hard Brexit, yet NI will have an open border with the South, and preferred customs and free trade arrangements?
    What planet do the Tories live on? They genuinely believe that they can pervert democracy like this.

    Of course, there will be no extra cash for the NI Assembly unless the DUP and Sinn Fein settle their diffs, and reboot Stormont, which won’t happen now.
    The ‘EU27’ will reject Her May’s Government’s EU citizens Policy Paper out of hand, so it’s au revoir to the CTA, and as a consequence, the cosy wee pact with the Fundamental Christians.

    The madness continues unabated.

  11. Scotland’s future is now in the hands of The Church of the Latter Day Saints, the Orange Order, and Magic Norn Irn Christians who believe that there will be an End of Days when they will be whisked up into heaven, and the rest of us will be damned to eternal punishment in the fire and brimstone of Lucifer’s hell.
    Or maybe there is an alternative.
    Sorry, I am on the verge of banging on about Indyref 2 again.

  12. A very accurate precis of this ghastly cock-up of a deal, Paul. If someone wrote a novel with this as its main premise they would be laughed out of every publishing house, wouldn’t they? You literally could not make this crap up!

  13. Macart says:

    So yeah, a thing happened that effectively any decent human being left in the UK should feel ashamed about. The party of central government have secured a deal (and their jobs) by getting into bed with the DUP. Their background and what they stand for across a range of issues are a matter of record. Folk who hold human rights, peace and tolerance dear aren’t high on their Christmas card list to be sure.

    That the deal endangers the Good Friday agreement, puts lives in harms way and endangers societal unity across four nations shouldn’t come as much of a surprise to anyone who has any familiarity with a Conservative’s sense of self preservation. It’s what they do and who they are. Consideration for the welfare of others isn’t the first thing that pops into your head when thinking about Tory priorities.

    People are disposable assets to your average Tory. Who knew?

    That there are those in Scotland who put political union before the societal union of these islands is bad and bad enough. That they did so from the same sense of naked self interest, entitlement, greed, intolerance, exclusion and fear as a Conservative? Quite a legacy to leave to your children. Some folk really do have short memories. How do you explain that one away to your family? How do you explain away the consequences of such a vote and such a deal?

    Listen kids. I was protecting the right of the entitled classes, the patronage of the corporate world and fleg wavy intolerant isolationists to hold street parties a couple of times a year and piss your human rights up against a wall. I was protecting their right to own your future, treat the majority like possessions and keep them in the style to which they’ve become accustomed.

    Be proud. Be proud yer old da helped defend these historic traditions and way of life. Now here’s a piece of brightly coloured cloth to make you feel better. Away out and play. Only not with those kids doon the street. They’re not like us.

    I couldn’t.

    It’s not just about what KIND of country do YOU want to live in? It’s about what KIND of country do you want your kids to live in?

    Happily, there are more than a few of us out there who do care and it’s not too late.

  14. Macart says:

    Oh good grief.

    https://skwawkbox.org/2017/06/22/breaking-ireland-will-block-brexit-deal-if-maydup-deal-goes-ahead/

    To those in ‘Scottish’ Labour who celebrated the results of their tactical voting plan? To the Tories who put a single fucking policy ahead of the welfare of the Scottish electorate?

    Suck it up. This is your UK. This is what YOU have done.

    Well done you (slow, VERY SLOW, hand clap).

    • Clumsily worded, I posted earlier:- ‘Of Course Gerry Adams has already been on the telly, backed by his Sinn Fein colleagues rubbishing the deal.’
      Gerry Adams has insisted that there must be power sharing in any reconstituted Stormont and the Bung Money administered equitably. That won’t and never could happen. The DUP supporters would not allow it.
      The disaster that is Brexit is unfolding and unravelling in equal measures,Chaps
      Many have anticipated the Fall and Fall of the British Empire as the 21st Century finally plays itself into the game.
      We keep our powder dry.
      I observed a few years ago that London had grown so bloated and greedy, (witness train drivers on the SE line rejecting an offer of £70k a year), that it would eventually consume itself.
      In a few years HS2 will be essential to ferry low paid servants into the capital from Birmingham and Nottingham to service the needs of the population of the City State London .
      As the tragedy last week seems to indicate, housing the proles in high rise death traps on the fringes of filthy rich conclaves has ‘backfired’.
      They have yet to release the final death toll figures, stuck and 79, which is horrendous enough, but must be far higher.
      The heat wave tinder box mood of London’s poor and dispossessed has just about been contained.
      The prospect of riots and civil unrest appear to have waned, for the moment at least.
      Polls show that if there were a ‘Not another One!’ UK GE, Labour may not win outright, but would attract enough support to form a moderate progressive Coalition Government.

      But May and Co in bed with the DUP, and the Norn Irn Fundamentalist Christians is a different kettle of non CFP fish.
      They rule the North of Ireland by menace. If they don’t get what they want, there’s always the threat that their marching bands and paramilitaries will take to the streets again. Sinn Fein and their ‘activists’ are no different.
      If the Christian Fundamentalists don’t get what they want,and like all blackmailers they’ll be back for more dosh, Colonial Ruth Davidson may find herself patrolling the streets of West Belfast as part of a ‘peace keeping’ force.
      Mundell and the 13 Tories are there because there are enough right wing Unionists in Scotland to garner some support for a Right Wing UK Lame Duck.
      It’s simply arithmetic.
      Opposition to Scottish Self Determination and the option to remain within the post Brexit EU is still strong despite of all that has happened so far, and will remain so until Brexit and Austerity really bite, which will begin as the autumn leaves fall and the real consequences of England and Wales stopping the world and getting off become only too apparent.
      Mundell is a glove puppet.
      Ian Duncan has been ‘elevated’ to SoS in all but name.
      But The Scottish Branch of the Blue Tories will do as they are told by WM. I suspect many of the Right Wing Diehards Up Here know that, and this ‘known known’ was one of the drivers for many to vote Blue Tory.
      Scottish Right Wing MPs were guaranteed not to rock the Unionist boat. This was their USP; they are performing monkeys in blue rosettes.They were chosen by Scots citizens to perpetuate the Union by doing what they were told by the Mother Country’s Elite.
      Lord Duncan and the 13 dance to an English reel.
      There is nothing anyone can do to stop the madness just yet.
      We stand ready this time.
      There will be no Project Fear this time.
      Nothing with which Unionists could threaten us could be as nightmarish as the harsh reality of the Here and Now.
      The 3 million EU citizens working here may shrink to 2 million in a matter of months as many up sticks and take to the lifeboats as England takes in water and slowly sinks. The UK economy is on the brink of collapse.
      Patience and fortitude, mes braves.

      • Macart says:

        Folk will need ample supplies of both in the coming months Jack.

        What really burns me on that link was the date. That was posted on the 22nd. Not a peep in the UK media. You’d think the UK public might have been in a ‘need to know’ position on the ramifications of that deal, both in terms of Brexit and NI/EIRE relations.

        I saw no headlines, no BREAKING news on broadcast media this side of the channel. If it was mentioned at all, it wasn’t top billing for sure.

        This is rapidly turning from omnishambles to galactoph**k Jack and it’s not as if folk weren’t warned.

        • Indeed, Sam.
          Our news outlets are controlled by a Fascist government now.
          Herald Britland unearths Sillars from his slumber and prints the Auld Carthorse’s perils of doomdom:
          Sturgeon should stop posturing.’ The SNP at the Brexit Table would be a cuckoo in the nest’. and all the usual Unionist Propaganda piss, for which the US owned herald is now renowned.
          Where the fuck is Torrance with his ‘Ulsterisation’ scare mongering now? He and Mackie, and the hordes of Unionists scribbler whores don’t seem to be bothered by the prospect of 10 Ulster Prod Unionists telling England what to do.
          Some entrepreneur builder seems to have stolen the thousands of wooden pallets Belfast Council was storing to fuel the bonfires on the 11th July.
          The OO are demanding that the Council pays for a fresh supply….to burn to celebrate an ancient battle, and pollute the night skies over the North of Ireland.
          Money to burn when it comes to it.

      • AnnieM says:

        We don’t want lots of EU citizens giving up and leaving Scotland, not just because we need them for the NHS, etc, but because they would be guaranteed yes voters in Indyref2.

        This is what they are saying on FB:

        “We can also confirm that we have received numerous emails and PMs from EU citizens saying they are now seriously thinking of leaving Scotland should an indy ref not be called within the next 18 months.”

  15. pussy nancy says:

    If you were all wondering what NI contributions meant on your payslip – well now you know!

  16. John Edgar says:

    It is the last gasp of unionism. A grubby deal to prop up May. Naked opportunism and the usual approach of Britannia waiving the rules.
    Of course, the yoonionist Tories will support it. Mundell just makes sounds and his clones at Holyrood beat in chorus to the sane tune.
    The other yoons, too, make noises, but as they are yoons too, they do not draw the obvious conclusion that it is the fact that Westminster can rule and override the Scots at any time.
    They are all fifth columnists. The yoonion for them all is “first and foremost” come what May!!
    Heseltine is bemoaning the fact that the Tories are losing about 2% of their natural electorate due to dying off!! In Scotland’s case it will not only apply to Tories but to the three yoon parties. Generational shift pattern. As the Corbyn effect had little influence on yoon Labour up here, a double whammy no doubt.
    Anyway, it looks like the 1707 Union is ebbing slowly out. The three establishment parties down south are riven over Brexit, the HoL is all split with new additions being added to act as flunkies.
    May and Co are heading for a Brexit out if the SM and CU. That is “hard”. No deal will better being in.
    So all those who still dream on about Rule Britannia will lap their tepid souls at the sight of the new aircraft carrier leaving Rosyth. Anachronistic posturing! Named after an ageing monarch to prop up an ageing state retreating into oblivion.

  17. John MacRae says:

    The term “Danegeld” comes to mind.

    John.

  18. pussy nancy says:

    I wonder………..


    @Nicola Sturgeon

    I’ll be seeking agreement of @ScotParl to make a statement later today on the way forward for Scotland after the General Elect

  19. Ottomanboi says:

    To discover how the British operate I recommend ‘Inglorious Empire’ by Shashi Tharoor. It concerns the English later the British in India but the parallels with Scotland and Ireland are arrestingly significant.
    Unionism is a relic of Empire. We need to crush it and flush it into history.

  20. bringiton says:

    Union means to form common purpose and by extension common policies.
    The NI unionists have always been kept at arms length by the London establishment since they had policies alien to most in England.
    Now that they are centre stage in British politics,the Scottish Conservative and Unionist party is going to have to come clean about the true nature of their union.
    Either they accept that DUP policies are part of their common purpose or they openly acknowledge that there is no union as such,just a convenient cabal of vested interests.
    What a can of vipers.

  21. Macart says:

    On FM’s statement:

    No real change in stance from before the GE. 😉

    Indyref still on the table and decision should still be made by the Scottish electorate. The only caveat is delay in proceeding with legislation. Once settlement stance is clear, Scottish parliament to decide whether to proceed with same. Leaving date of an indyref open as it were.

    The clever part was in challenging the opposition parties to back the SG in an argument to gain a place at the Brexit table and fight for access to single market.

    So back to the paper the SG sent down several months ago then and the ball back in Westminster court. It’s also put up or shut up time for Tories and Labour in Scotland.

    Who will they back? The needs of the Scottish electorate, or their party whips in Westminster?

    I’m guessing there’s more than a few commentators and political opponents spitting feathers that indyref is still in the ring. 😀

  22. Macart says:

    Oh, this is a statement all its own. 🙂

    http://www.mobilise.scot/

  23. AnnieM says:

    A good statement, no less than I expected from Nicola, but of course Ruth, Kezia and Willie still accusing her of not listening to ‘the people’. I think the only people she’s not listening to are those three numpties!

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