It was pretty obvious during the recent debates in Holyrood on whether to hold a referendum on independence that the Unionist parties were in collusion. One after another they lined up and made objections that were very clearly singing from the same song sheet. They sang a dicordant dirge of wailing, and not once did any of them acknowledge the reality that we are only in this position of a second referendum because of the failures of those same Unionist parties to fulfil the promises they made to the people of Scotland. Scottish democracy was frozen in ice in 2014. Nothing that’s happened since matters, nothing that’s happened since counts. And their objections all sounded suspiciously coordinated.
So it was scarcely surprising that according to a report in The National earlier this week, the Tories (spit, spit), Labour (derisory scoff), and the Lib Dems (who?) have had secret meetings in order to plot how to derail the call for Scottish independence and for another referendum. So that would be that Labour party that claimed it had learned the lesson from 2014 that collaborating with the Tories was as electorally toxic as Tory list nonentity Annie Wells claiming that the Scottish Parliament isn’t legitimate. It seems the only lesson that they learned was that you shouldn’t collaborate with the Tories if there are cameras present. If there are none present then collaboration is just fine and you can keep up the pretence that you’re opposed to nationalism.
Despite the claims of certain Labour representatives that they oppose nationalism, they are perfectly happy to act as enablers of the Conservatives’ right wing xenophobic British nationalism. Even, shamefully, to the point of opposing a Green amendment to allow EU citizens and 16 and 17 year olds to vote.
However let’s get this clear once and for all. Labour’s claimed opposition to nationalism is a pretence. Supporting the continuation of the British state does not mean you oppose nationalism. It just means you oppose the Scottish variety. It most certainly does not place you on some higher moral plane. In fact it puts you on a lower one. It puts you on a lower plane of at worst hypocrisy, or at best a staggering lack of self-awareness. If you really oppose Scottish independence because you oppose nationalism then you should also be arguing and campaigning for the abolition of the British state and the formation of one world government. If you oppose Scottish independence and campaign for the continuation of the British state, because you claim that Scots must demonstrate a solidarity with workers in England and Wales that they don’t have to demonstrate with workers in Spain, Germany or Poland, then you’re not opposed to nationalism. You’re still a nationalist whether you choose to accept the term or not. You’re just a British nationalist.
The question of Scottish independence from the UK is not a question of nationalism versus non-nationalism, it’s a question of an outward looking progressive civic nationalism that seeks to engage with the rest of the world versus an inward looking xenophobic nationalism that withdraws into itself and comforts itself with nostrums of a long lost empire. The British state is not a non-nationalist project. Labour politicians who say they are opposed to nationalism are less self aware than a British nationalist, they’ve allowed themselves to become a useful tool of British nationalism. They help it to disguise its true nature. After the triggering of Article 50, there can be no pretence anymore that the British state is anything but a nakedly nationalist project.
Getting the Project Fear band back together has been provisionally christened New Direction, which sounds like a third rate boy band. And to be fair, that’s pretty much what it is. It belts out the greatest hits of Empire and channels Vera Lynn. The New Direction is a very old direction. It’s taking us backwards in time to an imaginary Britain that never really existed. It’s a cover for the Tory attempt to transform the UK into a low tax country with a minimum of public services. That’s a country that turns its back on the poor, the low paid, the disabled and the marginalised and glorifies its military might while the unemployed trudge to foodbanks and the homeless beg in the street. There’s nothing new about the UK’s new direction. Welcome to the Victorian age. That’s no direction at all.
Most of us, on hearing the name, immediately thought it sounded like Nude Erection. That’s because we’re Scottish. Although Johann Lamont tells us that we’re not genetically programmed to make our own decisions, being Scottish means we are genetically programmed for lower bodily function humour. Since Nude Erection are very keen to tell us that they’re Proud-Scots-but, it’s surprising that the organisers of Unionist campaigns don’t factor this into their sloganeering. The truly surprising thing is that they keep on doing it.
What we get from the Unionists is a series of campaign titles and slogans that subconsciously speak about penises. A psychologist would probably tell you it’s an attempt at over compensation because in the twenty first century the UK is as flaccid as an elderly compulsive masturbator who has been reduced to flicking through a book of photos of from the Donald Trump fan club in a vain attempt to get his jollies and restore the glory days of the past and who can’t afford the viagra because the Tories are going to privatise the NHS. Which isn’t that bad a description of the British government, come to think of it.
There’s Nude Erection now, so called because it’s full of over-extended bell ends with red faces. Then in the last campaign we had the risible Vote Knob Orders campaign with their wee ditty about not building a wall unless it had a glory hole in it. And then we had the stickers saying U KOK plastered all over lampposts the length and breadth of the country, but especially in the doucer regions, which isn’t a euphemism. What is it with the Unionist obsession with phallic symbolism? They are truly obsessed with big dicks. And then you look at Liam Fox and Michael Gove and all becomes clear.
The UK’s messaging is obsessed with penises because no matter how much they lie, no matter how much they dissemble, subconsciously they can’t help but let the truth come out, they’re going to shaft Scotland.
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