If Scotland votes to become independent, the very next day the SAS will abseil down the side of your local branch of Morrison’s and make everyone in the checkout queue turn out their pockets and confiscate their money, because Scotland won’t be allowed to use the pound. It’s true. Unionists on Twitter say so. They also tell us that Scotland will have to sign up to Schengen and the Euro even though we won’t be allowed to join the EU and won’t have any currency. And Spain will veto us. Mariano Rajoy is the saviour of the UK. Mind you, if you are pinning all your hopes on Mariano Rajoy to prevent the break up of the UK you’re as well going home now and consoling yourself with a bowl of cold paella.
There is still no official independence campaign, no notification of a referendum, but already the Unionist extremists on social media are ramping the hysteria up to eleven. They scream mutually contradictory scare stories without pausing to reflect on how they undermine their own argument. People who are hell-bent on taking Scotland out of the EU against its will try to scare us with the threat that Scotland won’t be allowed to join the EU. Which means, although they’re blind to it, that they’re actually admitting that not being in the EU is a bad thing.
What they’re really trying to do is to assert that being outside the EU and negotiating our own trade deals is far far scarier than being out of the EU and having our trade deals negotiated on our behalf by Liam Fox. There are in fact fewer things in this universe that are scarier than anything to do with Liam Fox. He’d cheerfully negotiate a trade deal with the monster from the Alien movies to rent out the bodies of the low paid to vile blood sucking parasites from another planet. Which is pretty much what his government has got in mind as a model for the British economy after Brexit. They call it tax incentives.
Hard core Unionists are being forced into hysteria before the referendum has even been called because the reality of a Tory ruled Brexit outside the EU and with our employment and civil rights trashed is far far more frightening than anything that an independent Scotland has to offer, even in the dystopian nightmares of Tom Gallagher. Well, OK, maybe not. Tom has the kind of dystopian imagination about an independent Scotland that other people can only acquire after having their brains extracted via their nostrils with a bill hook, put in a blender with the Ladybird Book of Scary Tartan Monsters and a report from a focus group made up of Orange Lodge members and ninety year old Ukippers with advanced syphilitic dementia – otherwise known as a Question Time audience from Glasgow – and then poured back into their body through a funnel stuck up their backside.
But even Tom’s froth filled ravings are starting to seem mainstream compared to some of the stuff that’s coming out of his Unionist pals these days. Ruth Davidson is warning of fratricide, and she’s one of the calmer ones. But Ruth habitually talks in metaphors of war. On Monday she was warning that the Scottish government is seeking to weaponise Brexit in order to boost support for independence. But the truth is that it’s the Tories who have weaponised Brexit. They’re using it as a weapon to destroy the social support networks, the NHS, social security, employment rights and civil rights that have been hard fought for and won by generations. They took the vote in England and Wales to leave the EU and have chosen how to interpret it. They’ve chosen to interpret it as an all out assault on the social compact that Britain established in the post-WW2 era. They’ve chosen to interpret it as an opportunity to destroy social cohesion and compassion.
It’s Ruth’s own party which is destroying the UK. That’s why the Unionists on social media scream and howl, because they don’t want to face up to that hard reality. The Britain that they claim to love is being killed, and it’s being killed by the parties that claim to champion it. That’s some tough karma there. It’s far easier to blame someone else for your own shortcomings, so they blame Scottish nationalists instead.
The Unionist extremists are warning of people being set against one another, of families being torn apart. Some are demanding that independence supporters suffer legal penalties. Because in the world of the überyoon it’s all the fault of independence supporters when neo-fascist Unionists get violent. It’s the Scottish constitutional equivalent of blaming rape on women wearing short skirts or saying that animal cruelty is the result of marching band uniforms getting covered in cat hair.
What they’re really trying to achieve with their hysteria and warnings of violence is to dissuade people from engaging with the arguments about independence. They want to put the blame for their own violence and lack of restraint on people who make peaceful and good natured arguments for independence. It’s a tactic to delegitimise the campaign for independence. It’s a tactic to claim the moral high ground while wallowing in the sewer. Then when another group of Unionist thugs attack peaceful independence supporters like they did in George Square in the aftermath of the first independence referendum vote, there can yet again be headlines on the BBC saying “Clashes between Yes and No voters” as though there’s some sort of moral equivalence between the two. It’s like describing an execution as a dispute.
You’d almost think that despite turning the hysteria up to eleven, their insistence that no one in Scotland wants another referendum, and that even if there is another referendum it’s going to return a massive majority in favour of presenting our arses to the Tories for a serious rogering, that they’re not so sure that they’re going to win. And that’s because they’re not, and they know it. They know they’re on the wrong side of history. They know that we’re living in the last days of the British Empire. As the British ship of state sinks below the waves in a storm that it brought on itself, the unionist extremists will only howl even louder, but their howls will be blown away in the gale of their own making.
Audio version of this blog article, courtesy of Sarah Mackie @lumi_1984 https://soundcloud.com/occamshaver/wee-ginger-dug-13th-feb-2017
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