Ruthie skewers herself

It’s a tough life being the hero of Scottish Unionism, a position more hyped than an X-Factor contestant’s new single and generally equally short-lived. The current incumbent is Ruth Davidson who receives plaudits in the press that you more generally associate with the discoverer of a cure for cancer, the guy who single handedly brings peace to Syria, and the woman who solved the world hunger crisis, all rolled into one. Ruth might not walk on water, but she certainly goes for a walk on a buffalo, and that’s the next best thing. Ruth took over from the last Great Shite Hope of the Union, Jim Murphy, who likewise was going to single-handedly defeat the forces of separatism and deliver Scotland into the sunny uplands of a bunting bedecked Royalist street party. That turned out well, didn’t it.

This week the papers were full of the heavenly sound of praise for Ruthie’s performance in an opinion poll. She’s actually more popular than the person who cured cancer solved Syria and defeated hunger. And she’s doing a better job than Nicola Sturgeon too. Which is grand. All over social media there were Unionists crowing that Ruthie was putting the boot into the SNP and she was more popular than that evil splittist Nicola. It’s only a matter of time before Scotland realises it’s been terribly misled all this time, and will stop with all this nonsense of imagining that it could possibly become a normal country that’s capable of doing things for itself. Look, there’s a photo op of Ruth with a big fish, and she’s just sent a funny tweet on Twitter. That proves it.

The only problem with this scenario is that if you want to compare something and you want to offer an objective as opposed to a subjective opinion, you really need to compare like with like. That’s one of those basic tenets of science, the kind of thing that our Unionist masters rarely bother their bullafo riding heads about. Yet the question in the opinion poll didn’t do that. Respondents were asked whether they thought Ruth was doing a good job as leader of the Tories, but were also asked whether they thought Nicola was doing a good job as Furst Meenister.

Directly comparing like with like would have been to ask respondents whether they thought Nicola was doing a good job as leader of the SNP. Since the SNP is considerably more popular than the Tories, that might have produced a very different result. Actually Vlad the Impaler was more popular than the Scottish Tories, and he’d probably have scored very high in a Transylvanian opinion poll about how well vampires thought he was doing his job. Say what you like about that Vlad, but he once impaled an entire brigade of palace guards on sticks for going for a wee wander about the village instead of guarding his castle. Brings a whole new meaning to the term a wee daunner kebab so it does.

The job of Furst Meenister is a complex and demanding task requiring the juggling of many different subjects at once, all of which are equally vital to the well being of an entire country and its political future. By comparison the job of leader of the Scottish Tories involves posing for photo opportunities and snarking once a week at FMQs. The only similarity is that both jobs are held by politicians. You’d be as well asking who was doing a better job, a neurosurgeon or Vlad the Impaler, because both involve inserting implements into parts of the human anatomy. When you don’t compare like with like a comparison is as meaningless as just about anything that issues from the beardy gob of the Fluffmunster, and as irrelevant as Wullie Rennie’s views on anything other than the bus timetable of the number 17 to Kelty.

Sadly for Ruth, she did exceptionally poorly in her job this week. That’s the part of her job that involves Furst Meenister’s Questions, not the bit that entails posing on the backs of ungulates or shooting off witty 140 character ripostes. That NHS is pure rubbish, so it is, Ruth said accusingly at Nicola. Here’s this report that says that parts of the service are facing meltdown, said Ruth with an expression that would fry a pound of mince at sixty paces. Then she sat down all smug in the expectation of the SNPbad headlines that would most assuredly follow.

Unfortunately, the report that Ruth was relying on wasn’t about the NHS in Scotland. It was about the NHS in England. Those areas of meltdown that she is so concerned about, the service that’s teetering on the verge of collapse, that’s all entirely down to the mismanagement of the health service in England by her own party. Oops. Vlad the Impaler is much better at skewering.

As the realisation dawned, Ruth still had a face that could fry a pound of mince at sixty paces, on this time her ire was directed at whatever hapless aide had fed her the information in the first place. If you could hear the sound of distant screams in Edinburgh yesterday, that’s probably what it was. You’d think that if Ruth really was doing such a great job, she’d have checked before making a very public fool of herself. Still, now we know that the NHS is in crisis and near meltdown under Tory management, because the leader of the Scottish Tories has told us so. During a session of Parliament, no less. She really should stick to the buffalos, or at least the impaling of eejit aides.

The Unionist establishment is desperately in need of a hero, because Unionism is such a joyless, dreary and miserabilist ideology. Ruth is merely the current holder of the crown, but it’s likely that her shelf life will be as short as the previous holders. As a Tory, Ruth is incapable of appealing to a majority of Scots. Ever since the Holyrood elections she’s been exposed as the apologist for the failures of her colleagues in Westminster to respect the will of the Scottish people. This week’s spectacular own goal from her showed that her expertise lies in photo ops and press calls, and that’s where it’s going to stay. Scotland is going to continue its movement towards independence, and there’s nothing Ruth can do to stop it.

Audio version of this blog article, courtesy of Sarah Mackie @lumi_1984

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28 comments on “Ruthie skewers herself

  1. benmadigan says:

    excellent article Paul – So much to comment on.

    Let me start with “a bunting bedecked Royalist street party”

    Here’s how the Royals behaved and how HM’s subjects celebrated. Note Scotland’s participation!!!

  2. David Agnew says:

    Ruth Davidson has been groomed for mediocrity by the British media in Scotland. In much the same way they did for Jim Murphy.
    So great is the support this time you’d think she had won last may.

    But credit where credit is due. She played a blinder by going through Dugdales purse for some loose change.

    Like Baillie, she will spend her time talking pish and being embarrassed when she gets caught every day. The British meet a will mop up her pish and she’ll keep on going on.

    Despite it all she’ll crash and burn. Like Gray, Lamont, Murphy and Dugdale.

    • David Agnew says:

      “The British meet a will mop up her pish and she’ll keep on going on.”

      That should have been “The British *media* will mop up her pish”

      goddamn predictive smart phone text

  3. SkewedPerspective says:

    I think the poll (portrayed as it is by MSM) is a good thing for three reasons.

    Firstly, the kind of folk that don’t like our FM might dislike her a wee bitty less – it’s sometimes good to appear to be taken down a peg in Scot’s eyes (I am fairly sure that their endless SNPBAD rhetoric is largely counter productive).

    Secondly, the kind of folk that do like our FM will know what instinctively what a loada mince it is.

    Lastly, most thinking folk recognise the SNP are doing a good job (albeit grudgingly sometimes), so when the next poll arrives I am sure NS will appear to be making ground.

  4. Edward Freeman says:

    Paul, for once I think you’re wrong – I think Ruthie was being more Machiavellian than that (I just listened to the whole thing on iplayer). What if she was not making a mistake, but deliberately telling the story as it is portrayed in our b awful meeja, whether she believes it or not? The result is that your no-voting punters hear her say that NHS Scotland is failing, and that’s what the meeja are all saying as well, and will report her as saying, and so round it goes in the Unionist echo chamber, so when oor Nicola gets up and says “NHS Scotland is doing fine, thank you very much, unlike the English one”, the punters think it’s oor Nicola who’s lying through her teeth.

    • David Agnew says:

      you could be right, but at the end of the day, she is simply going through the motions. This is exactly the pish Scottish labour was pulling when it was the opposition. She needs to be seen to be opposing the SNP. But as Paul has pointed out, to attack a position is to have your own compared side by side. If you have no answers of your own. If you are using tactics that have failed since the SNP took office in 2007. Then dial forward 5 years and you can see Davidson looking more and more like Murphy. Utterly clueless but shielded from her failure by the media but ultimately not protecting her from the voters.

      • Edward Freeman says:

        Agreed. If it weren’t for our lying meeja, Ruthie (and the rest) would have had to stop flinging baseless accusations around long ago. They’re on a shoogly peg nonetheless, as you say – the lies are wearing very thin, and fewer and fewer people are being fooled. Anyway, that’s my theory, and I’m sticking to it.

  5. Brian Powell says:

    What is strange is that the Presiding Officer judged that the point Clare Haughey made, that the report showed of the 94 cases 3 were in Scotland, 87 were in England, it was a point of debate and not a point of order, which means it could be true or not.
    It was the same report she was taking about as Davidson quoted. So from the report it wasn’t debatable, it was what was in the report, unless someone had put forward another report showing a different result.
    PO Ken didn’t look very comfortable, was he discomfited by the embarrassment of Ruth being shown up? After all the Tories had cheered one of his Labour colleagues the previous day when the SG was focus of an attack.

    • keaton says:

      A point of order is a point relating to parliamentary procedure. That’s why Kenny Mac said it wasn’t one. It’s nothing to do with whether it’s true or not.

  6. Davy says:

    I hope she gets hung, drawn and quartered for her blatant lying at next weeks question time.

  7. kailyard rules says:

    It’s a new bingo call. “Porky pies down. RUDAJABA…88.”

  8. Macart says:

    All that jolly hockey sticks chumminess and bon homie disappears rapidly when wee Ruthie is either challenged or corrected. This particular politician’s facade is about as thin and durable as wet bog paper when push comes to shove.

    Ms Davidson is and always will be a Tory, with Tory values and ideology at the heart of her ‘politics’. Which is to say Ms Davidson is first and foremost a staunch defender of a specific political/societal/economic system wholly at odds with fellow feeling, empathy or common weel. You can almost get behind that I suppose. Its a belief system of a sort and if that’s how you feel about your fellow human beings then that’s on you to explain and defend such a view.

    As for how Ms Davidson practises her politics? That is nothing short of deeply dishonest and disingenuous, which is what most folk have come to expect of the political class in general, the Tories as a rule and with certain individuals in particular across the establishment spectrum.

    Just to be crystal clear, Ms Davidson and her party are NOT defenders of a bestest union in the history of unions. She and they are defenders of one of the most corrupt, self seeking, elitist, uncaring and outright abusive class and political systems in existence. These people have no concept of what constitutes a meaningful union and frankly could care less. It is merely a device for continued control and manipulation of a state and its population.

    Ms Davidson’s talent and depth as a politician extends only so far as the next photo op or soundbite and were it not for a compliant and very motivated corporate media her political presence would go unnoticed on any meaningful level altogether. This is NOT someone interested in solving the problems faced by the Scottish electorate, but IMO a place person more interested in defending the very source of those problems.

    And you know what they say? If you’re not part of the solution, then you’re… etc.

    • jimnarlene says:

      You’ve a great grasp of language and situation, wee tankette is an erse and always will be.

    • fudgebuttons says:

      Spot on as per usual. I come to this site for both what WGD has to say and for your further insight, thanks. (You really should be blogging too…..or get ultra-with-the-times and vlog!) Stay frosty (y)

  9. Robert Graham says:

    ok ok still laughing at the jokes some very funny ones sprinkled throughout this excellent post ,
    Ruth what can you say ,not for the first time she’s been caught ,like a serial shoplifter who has been caught but hasn’t been prosecuted yet , she’s overcome with the adulation that has been heaped on her from a very obliging media and has started to believe her own press and has decided she can get away with almost anything , Remember the once darling of the BBC dear Kezia she was once cosseted and protected and she had a fair amount of Labour supporters compared to the toxic untouchable Tory party .
    As for the STV april fool joke of a poll ( still waiting a reply to my complaint ) i guess the piss take competition between them and the BBC is taking up much of their time just now .

  10. Albawoman says:

    Ruth Davidson and others give a veneer of respectability and justification to certain unionists who march about public streets proclaiming a culture which is less than friendly towards their neighbours.

    Their votes are used to prop up Ms. Davidson’s supposed electoral victories. She must know the social cost of this to her fellow Scots. But hey, so what,when you are on a roll go for it!

  11. Juteman says:

    I like to think that the buffalo she was pictured with her legs spread on, was called Hamish.
    He seemed to have a wry smile on his face.

  12. “94% of English NHS Trusts are failing to meet their targets for operations and A&E waiting times.
    80% of English NHS trusts are in deficit.
    NHS England have been ordered to make £20 billion in savings despite these disastrous figures.
    Hospitals are closing units. In the NE of England, obese patients and smokers are being denied operations because there’s no money.
    English schools have seen their budgets cut by 20%, The English Police Force have had their budgets slashed by 20%.
    English LA’s have had their WM funding cut by 40%. The Blue Tories are slashing and burning, reducing civic England to Victorian levels of poverty and decay.
    The So Called Scottish Conservatives, and the So Called Scottish Labour, and the So Called Scottish Lib Dems want their cake and eat it.
    They are Unionists, part of UK Parties, in Branch Office outposts Up Here.
    They are as responsible and accountable for their WM Parties’ policies and cuts programmes as their Head Offices Down South.
    Ruth, Kezia, and Willie, would prefer that we forgot that.
    Hence the lies and exaggerations at FMQ, particularly, when Agency Nurses, 75000 calls not answered by Police Scotland, or the fucking attainment gap that particularly Ruth Davidson makes a mockery of, are hurled at the FM, despite the shameless record of Ruth’s, Kezia’s, and Willie’s Parties over the past decade UK wide.
    Of course Brian Taylor and his hack commentariat know all of this.
    Yet in summarising FMQ, Davidson is described as having ‘scored points’. Utter nonsense of course. But don’t wait for a BBC presenter pointing out the blatant lies of the third rate Unionists peddling this tosh.
    It is clearly their job to make a silk purse out of a coo’s arsehole.
    The Red Blue and Yellow Tories are killing their fellow citizens by a deliberate policy of starving the poor, rewarding the rich.
    Shame on the lot of you.
    I truly despair, Paul.”
    I posted on here earlier (in alarmingly attention challenging detail) the farce that was Brewer’s Politics Scotland on Wednesday, where they no longer make any pretence; they are actively anti Scottish, and now Ultra right wing supporters of May’s Brexit.
    We were treated to a piece on PMQ and English grammar schools, on a programme titled ‘Politics Scotland;. Brewer’s co anchor was the former Head of Communications for the So Called Scottish Conservative Party, who now has his own PR Company.We got 10 minutes of chat between Brewe and Andy McIver about what they thought the Bad SNP were really up to. Pure Right Wing Unionists Brexit propaganda. The SNP are Bad so why would we vote YES and stay in the EU?
    The BBC at Pacific Quay has lost the plot.
    I was poring over yesterday’s FMQ. Paul, you Stu Campbell over on Wings have saved me the bother of commenting, other than to decry the unprincipled Kezia Dugdale for attempting to make political capital out of a poor woman’s health. Baseless sinister little blot on the landscape.
    I cannot believe how vicious our ProudScotBut MSM has turned so quickly. Obviously their private polls show that we are heading towards Self Determination, and soon.
    They disgust me.

    • fudgebuttons says:

      I also look forward to seeing what you have to say on the matter at hand, thanks. There’s nothing that I disagree with that you’ve said. I wholeheartedly concur.

  13. The only point I would disagree with Jack is that I believe the B.B.C, and the M.S.M combined, know exactly what they are doing, trying, by any means possible, to prevent us becoming an independent country.
    They have realised that Labour is a busted flush, so the only alternative is to big up Ms Davidson as she is their last hope.
    It doesn’t matter to them that she tells lies, it gives them a headline, which, as we all know, is the object of the excercise.
    What we are seeing so far is only the tip of a very large Westminster campaign to try to derail Indyref2, so we had better be prepared for much more propaganda in the future.

    • Alex, I know that they know that I ,and you know what they are doing.
      They are the ‘known knowns’, media insurgents posted North to undermine our democracy by blanket propaganda and lies against the Yes Movement.
      Brewer, Robertson, Fraser, Bird, Campbell, Joffre, and the long list of Unionist hacks and bought and paid for consultants and advisers fill our screens and airwaves with a torrent of lies, exaggerations, omissions and down right vindictive smears; and I’m paying for the privilege of being insulted and smeared?
      This week, BBC PQ has been particularly sinister.
      Yet they continue with impunity, to the extent that Davidson Dugdale and Rennie can spout even more outrageous lies, and Brian Taylor and Co will coo, and utter pish like. ‘scoring points’, and nod to each other approvingly.
      WE are an occupied country, and the Scottish Branch of the Holy London Empire Establishment is perfectly content to betray their country, Scotland, with unblinking indifference, while an English Parliament, and I include Davidson Dugdale and Rennie here, destroy the lives of millions of their fellow Scots citizens..
      They quite literally disgust me.

  14. Ah kin hear Britny singing Whoops She dided it again

  15. Craig P says:

    ‘wee daunner kebab’

    Right, that donate button’s getting hit!

  16. Anna Potrykus says:


    • There has been no budget cut in Fife. Here’s what the man actually said, according to the Dunfermline Press. “… The board stated: “We are, however, expecting 2016-17 to be a challenging year as we try to meet the evolving needs of our population and obtain the best value for money from the available resources.

      “NHS Fife’s budget allocation for the year ahead has been increased by around 1.7 per cent (£9.8m) with a further £16.8m allocated to the Integration Joint Board (IJB), which is the formal partnership of NHS Fife and Fife Council for the provision of health and social care services in the community.

      “Despite this increased investment we are anticipating that £30.8m of efficiencies will be required across NHS Fife and the IJB due to the increased costs from increasing demands and operating costs and work is underway to identify where these can be made without compromising the standards of care we offer.”

      In other words, the budget has actually been increased, but costs are up. How this has become a budget cut imposed by SNP BAD in the minds of certain people would be a matter for a qualified psychologist to determine.

  17. Whitburnsfinest says:

    ‘Daunner kebab’ well played Sir, although it’s your fault my bed and iPad are now covered in tea. Thanks, I think! 😂😂

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