Deal or no deal

A guest post by Samuel Miller

First of all let’s be clear that this post is NOT exclusively about Kezia Dugdale. Besides, the ever vigilant Wings over Scotland has pretty much got the ups, downs, backwards and forwards of Kezia’s current predicament pretty well dissected. How and ever, it was Kezia’s latest exchange on twitter with Ruth Davidson coupled with the seemingly never ending releases by the branch office and meeja, which begs a fairly straight forward question. We’ll get to that question in a minute.

Anyroads, for those of yooz who have been trekking in the more remote regions of the Amazon basin searching for the botanical cure to athlete’s foot for the past six months, here is what its all about. The Essenpee are bad. They are pure rotten badness personified. They are black hatted, twirly moustached, back shootin’, hoss stealin’, cattle rustlin’ bad. In fact they’re so bad, nobody wants to play with them or even admit to having known them. Well, no one other than the Greens, Plaid Cymru, a fair number of the voting public in Scotland and apparently, (not to mention surprisingly), some Corbyn supporting members of the PLP who are up for some grown up politics.

This is a curious, not to mention unique situation in the UKs political history, since pretty much all of the unionist parties have at one time or another, even in the past sixteen years, worked together, voted together or even formed a coalition partnership or two. Labour, a party which led us into a dubious overseas conflict and presided over economic carnage has been known to periodically cut deals with notorious serial fibbers and enablers. The Conservatives, a party known for their warm fuzzy nature and outward looking and inclusive joie de vivre also aren’t above looking for dance partners when the occasion arises. Needless to say their recent coalition with those self same serial fibbers won’t be forgotten anytime soon either. I actually don’t think there is enough space, even on a digital page, to list their recent crimes against the populations of the UK. In times of extreme national emergency, the three establishment parties have even been known to share platforms, hold hands, sing Kumbaya and have sleepovers (see under Better Together).

Right now the populations of the UK face a potentially disastrous economic and constitutional crisis. A crisis brought about by a combination of years of naked personal ambition, greed, ignorance, public manipulation and a level of self serving idiocy that should be measured on the Richter scale. The party of government and its loyal opposition? Those MOST responsible? Absent without leave and indulging in an orgy of self harm.

These parties have actively participated in the deconstruction of the UKs democracy, its economy and its society. They’ve used the forum of the mainstream media to manipulate opinion, foment mistrust and even outright hatred of ‘competitors’ and demographics of their own population. Their strategies have been known to undermine trust in public services and institutions, if it suited their political purpose, causing untold harm in their own society. Yet for all this, its the SNP who have somehow proven themselves unacceptable company for the established political elite of the UK and their meeja chums.

Is it me, or does anyone else not feel entirely crushed about that?

More importantly in terms of the Scottish scene, doesn’t this whole toys and pram approach to politics say so much more about Ruth, Kezia and thingy than anything the SNP could express on the matter? And so we come to the point of this exercise, the real question.

What are they for?

What is the point of the Conservatives, Labour and the Libdems in Scottish politics? And don’t give me any pish about plurality, because if there’s one thing Labour and the Conservatives especially do NOT believe in, it is sharing or playing nice with others. I’ve heard and seen PMQs, SQs and FMQs often enough to know that the chamber security should be armed with rolled up newspapers and buckets of ice water.

From recent memory however, it appears the Tories want to hold the SNP to account for … something or other, (Probably that predilection for badness) and staunchly defend the bestest political union ever. Labour being Labour, like to keep things simple and follow the mantra best outlined by the now infamous tweet from Willie Bain (a one time Shadow Scotland office minister),  “There is a long-standing PLP convention that we do not support SNP motions”… Just because, OK? The Libdems, under successive leaders, apparently are equal opportunities swingers and are well known as a support act for either of the other two. Their weekly rates are cheap, are known to enjoy limelight, pundit couches and long romantic walks in the countryside, but they do like a lie in on a Sunday.

Does anyone know what the current policies of the ‘Branch Offices’ are on anything though? The legislation they’ve worked on, committees they’ve participated in, problems they’ve helped solve through consensus? Well, if they’ve formulated any of the former on their own behalf or aided in any of the latter with the SNP, it appears that these days they don’t want to own up to it. I mean, the media aren’t exactly rushed off their feet releasing copy on the latest policy initiative from any of them.

Mibbies just me, but I’d say that from the end user/voter’s point of view, that doesn’t encourage a lot of confidence in the ability of our public servants.

If, as it appears, their day job is to manufacture Essenpee badness, draw lines in the sand, disrupt policy and process because they can or because the other guy wears a different coloured rosette, then I’d say they’re in the wrong job… frankly. When I see supposed adults, would be legislators and folk who would have you believe they are capable of government, openly compete as to who hates the standing government in Scotland most? I feel a desperate urge to dispense rubber dummies and send the offenders to their beds early for a time out.

Regular readers of this site and any number of indy sites are well used to this catastrophic and childish farce by this point. We KNOW why these parties and their politicians act the way they do. Their motivations, their strategies are all too transparent and the consequences for the public all too tragic.

I’m willing to bet that most folk want to see all Scottish governments held to account, but I reckon we’d also want to see legislation by consensus. Committees and chambers with all views represented and the problems faced by the population solved by people who serve the population. If some politician’s party loyalties, tribalism or pointless, naked hatred of the ‘other’ is getting in the way of our parliament serving our population, then isn’t that person a waste of a public pay packet? We can change this. We HAVE to change this.

Which takes me neatly back to another two tiered question I’ve asked readers before.

What kind of government do you want and what kind of country do you want to live in?

Audio version of this blog article, courtesy of @lumi_1984

23 comments on “Deal or no deal

  1. […] Wee Ginger Dug Deal or no deal […]

  2. Dan Huil says:

    These britnat branches are only holding on [just] because of the support of the biased britnat media. The britnat press and bbc must be boycotted.

  3. Bill McDermott says:

    As an observation, I watched Scotland Tonight last night on STV and was quietly surprised at the level of civility displayed by Adam Tomkins towards James Dornan on their respective couches. It was a case of “I agree with James” to many of the questions asked. Perhaps as a strong ‘remainer’ Tomkins had no choice but to hide his embarrassment over how his party has landed us in this awful mess, but as a constitutional lawyer he seemed to be banking on a special arrangement for Scotland to be in the EU and the UK.

    I think he knows that the game is up and he and everybody will have to choose between the two.

  4. Saor Alba says:

    I believe that Tomkins is not to be trusted on anything. His heart is not with Scotland or its people. He proudly belongs to a group who are totally arrogant and self-obsessed and who simply want power for their own self-serving existence.

    So-called academics, who rely on hatred, rather than conscious thought and reason, are extremely dangerous and he gives the impression of being a purveyor of what to think, rather than how to think. For this reason alone (but also for many others), he deserves no respect.

    His behaviour is childish, his comments are offensive (easily viewed on-line), and I believe that he is a total embarrassment to my Alma Mater and to Scotland.

    • Is he still holding down two jobs? Right enough he’s one of the ‘LisTory’ Boys, who didn’t even have to campaign in the SGE, a ‘chosen one’, who has no constituents to whom he can be held accountable, or for whom he must fight to have their drains unblocked.
      Professor WATP Adam Tomkins (I’d hate to be a Celtic supporting student whose resits are being marked by this sectarian bigot) is a nobody, but somehow got to sit on the Smith Commission, and gets air time and column inches from the compliant Fourth Estate Fifth Column.
      Like The Queen’s Eleven Murdo Fraser, and Ruth Davidson’s rebranding of the Branch Office as the Conservative and Unionist Party ( just in case the 19th September 2014 George Square Loyalist Brownshirts didn’t get the message in bigots Tomkins’ and Fraser’s WATP/The Queen’s Eleven sectarian tweets)WATP/The Queen’s Eleven sectarian tweets) are the Party for true blue Proddies, who are of course all loyalists and staunch Brits.
      The Tories are a heartless self serving bunch of freeloaders Up Here.

      Elitism, the destruction of publicly funded schools, hospitals, transport, and so on, is in their DNA.
      Privatise the lot. If you don’t have the dosh, go to a charity.
      There are plenty of carpetbaggers and PPP-ers ready and willing to step in and make a fast buck for crap service.
      ‘Open up the market to competition’, they cry. And the PPP walls came tumblin’ down.
      We can’t have any of this ‘social democracy’ nonsense.
      Their future employers have rewarded those who have gone before generously. Lords. Ladies, and Gentlemen, be upstanding for neo liberal laissez faire ‘light touch’ capitalism and Military Might.
      I’ve just realised, I’m describing the Red and Yellow Tories too.
      Ruth, Kezia, and ‘thingy’ (I like that, Sam.) are the pothole specialists. Cracked toilet seats in Social Housing, banning fizzy drinks in school tuck shops, and introducing alcohol and legalised sectarian singing at fitba’ grounds. And whit aboot them puggies in the bookies?
      The SNP are a grown up party, and even have the vast majority of seats Down There in the Three Lions on My Shirt Den.They are serious about Defence, Foreign policy, the Economy, Scotland’s palce in the world. Wee Ruth, Kezia, and thingy, need not clutter their brains with wee things like that. £15 billion Black Holes, and SNP Bad, just about describes the Day Job, and £1200 a wee is a nice little earner.
      Of their WM ‘Big Beasts’, Mundell is a quivering joke, Murray of whom we would not have heard if the ‘Fucking Useless’ Labour Gravy Troughers had been re-elected Up Here, and Liar Carmichael,the bloated Pickwickian , are beyond satire.
      The game is up for ‘Unionism’ Up Here.
      We have councillors who have the much vaunted devolved responsibility for education, health, local budgets and so on.
      It’s just that at LA level those Unionist councils hate the SNP even badder than the Branch Officers.

      Like you Mac, I ask, why exactly do the branch offices exist?
      To wake up every morning and hate the SNP borders on psychotic madness. Perhaps their much publicised Partners can have a quiet word in their ears?

  5. Adam Tomkins is to ‘civility’ what Tony Blair is to world peace.

  6. bjsalba says:

    Thank you for a really spot on article, Macart.

    I really liked the bit about dummies and sending them to bed early. Just this afternoon I had been struggling to write down just why I held them in such disgust and contempt.

    From their actions it is clear to me that they they could ever form anything remotely resembling a capable in government.


  7. uno mas says:

    “Ruth,Kezia and thingy”


    Only brilliant Mr Miller!

    WOOF! whit a post. Ye didnae miss and hit the wa did ye?

    Take it you had your porridge this morning?

  8. jimnarlene says:

    “but they do like a lie in on a Sunday.”. …But they do like to lie.

    Sorted it for you😜

    You’re doing a grand job, while Paul’s away; have you got your own blog?

  9. diabloandco says:

    Most excellent Macart!

  10. Lisa says:

    Great post Macart – spot on!

  11. Phil Walker says:

    Great piece, very well put. An excellent stand in. I hope we get to read more from you after Paul’s return.

  12. David Agnew says:

    We all want to see our government held to account. But we want it held to account by principled opposition and a balanced media. Not by a ridiculously unworthy Scottish labour, that’s behaving more like a guerrilla outfit trying to overthrow an elected government. Nor by the duplicitous tories playing the “ulster no surrender” card to the hilt and lest we forget that “Scottish” media with its “commentators” who have turned their industry into a click-bait enterprise.

    Kezia is political weather vane who is now being driven potty because the winds from Westminster seem to be blowing in two directions at once. They don’t know what to do because despite their protestations to the contrary, they are a sub branch and are awaiting instructions.
    Ruth Davidson is an opportunist who has been taking labour for ride and playing it like a third rate fiddler on Buchanan street, all so she can be the UKs little achiever. William Rennie you say? That man is a fanny, so no more of him please.

    You would have to be a black hearted unionist or perhaps Neil Oliver’s hair, not to feel that you have been cheated and are being badly served by the UKs representatives in Scotland.

    This dreary pantomime of pish is what they want us to get back in the box for?

    Someone explain to me why “dealing with it” and “Your British, so get over it” feels like an invite to engage in some sort of unionist hazing? A bizarre ritual of humiliation that Scots have to endure periodically lest they get some notions of adequacy? Is it this that led George Robertson to opine that Scotland had no culture, language or history of its own? What is this “union” they speak of that led Darling to ponder the fact that Scots just would not be able to appreciate culture with out “Britain” to explain it for us?

    Do they really believe this? Or is it more the case that knowing there was no positive case to be made for union, they decided to try to shame and scare us into accepting Britishness, in a fashion that no Englishman, Irishman or Welshmen would ever tolerate?

    Roll and sausage, Sausage roll – we’re just Better together? what a load of pish the union is.

    • Lisa says:

      So well put – you’ve summed it( this Hellish Union) up beautifully!

    • David, I admire your reserve.
      Mundell Murray and Carmichael represent ‘England’ Up Here: The SNP are the only ‘grown up’ game in town. Davidson, Dugdale, and thingy have no remit to offer opinions on ‘reserved matters’; they are after all one up the food chain from bench filling Unionist councillors.
      They have neither the authority, nor are they privy to, their Head Office Policies and Strategies, with regard to Defence, Foreign Policy, Brexit, and the Economy of the UK.
      Their role is to destabilise the Scottish Government, and fuck the wellbeing of their fellow Scots citizens.
      With each passing day, more and more are wondering, why are we paying these hangers on £1200 a week?
      Because the SNP are BAD?
      Surely to god many former No voters now see this.
      Darling Brown Goldie Mac Connell Danny and Douglas, Iain Davidson, Margaret Curran, Murphy, and so on, squirreled away nice little bundles out of decades of subordinating and almost destroying Scotland. They won’t be out to fight for their corrupt little Unionist Collaboration during the imminent Battle for Self Determination Round II.
      They’re working for the Man now. None of them are signing on at the Buroo.
      They’ve made their pile lying about, threatening, and making false promises to, our nation.
      They disgust me, to be perfectly frank.
      Yet the Media, and particularly the BBC still behave as though the SNP are an ephemeral aberration?
      Would the citizens of any other nation on these isles put up with this? Probably not.
      Well said.

  13. Cloggins says:

    We keep assuming the opposition opposes because it is their natural role when not in government. But it seems to me that we are not facing opposition but concerted sabotage.

  14. Gavin.C.Barrie says:

    “Mr Kelly, sit down Naw, I wulnae!”. And he is back again at Holyrood! In the name o’ the wee man, and he has a bone, something about patriot singing at football matches.
    My spelling OK? Should that be patriarchal?

    Labour {socialist?) supporters in Scotland combining with the Tories to block the SNP, who’d have ever believed. There is only one outcome – cats eat rats, eat cats.

    Enjoyable article Macart.

    • Anne says:

      Watched that over and over on you tube.Hysterical and embarrassing at the same time.I`m really going to miss Tricia as Presiding Officer.

  15. Macart says:

    I’m just going to leave this here.

    Oh, and there’s a very familiar face on there.🙂

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