Vote Scottish

The polls open in a few hours, and the parties are making their final pleas to the public. The SNP hope to retain their majority and with luck increase it. The Greens hope to overtake the Lib Dems as the fourth largest party. And the Tories hope that Labour collapses to such an extent that they can sneak into a far distant second place.

Some anti-independence commentators, who really ought to know better, have been complaining that Scottish politics are now Ulsterised. This is based on the facile notion that the great political division in both is now between nationalists and unionists. However if you really think that Scotland’s politics have become just like Ulster’s, then you know nothing about Scotland and even less about Northern Ireland. Best you just shut your geggie before people point and laugh. As far as I know, there have been no knee-cappings or molotov cocktail throwings associated with organised crime gangs in league with Scottish political parties. There has been no voting early and voting often and a high turn out in graveyards, although if there has then perhaps we can ask Ruthie if she’s seen the postal votes. There has been snark a-plenty, there’s been pursed lips and dirty looks, but this election campaign has passed without so much as an egg being sacrificed.

There is of course only one small and rapidly diminishing voting block in Scotland which casts its ballot on the basis of sectarianism, and that’s one which wears an orange sash, waves a red white and blue flag, and whose members have a tendency to support a certain fitba team. If Ulsterisation exists in Scottish politics, it’s a problem for the Unionists and no one else. Funny how Unionists have a tendency to project their own shortcomings onto independence supporters.

If you believed the Unionist press, Scotland has been on the verge of civil war since late 2013. Yet the only actual violence leading to criminal charges, as opposed to hysterical predictions of violence which go no further than the pages of a Unionist rag, have been amongst Unionists. There’s that psychological projection again. Some anti-independence commentators really ought to consider the beams in their own eye before they go on about someone else’s motes. Not that that ever stops them of course. There is nothing that the Unionist media would love more than actual violence from the Scottish independence campaign. Our refusal to give them any annoys them almost as much as the inevitability of another independence referendum.

Ruth Davidson, in a last minute appeal from the back of a buffalo, has called on people who voted yes in the independence referendum to vote Conservative this time so that she can hold the SNP to account. That’s a bit like asking someone to shoot themself in the foot so that you can write a stiff letter of complaint to the Daily Telegraph about local chiropody provision. All over Scotland, at least in Ruthie’s imagination, independence supporters will limp to the polls to give her their support, although the overlap between independence supporters and psychotic self-harming masochists is probably not as great as she’s hoping it is. Even if Ruthie’s imaginary yes supporters who’re going to vote Tory do manage to drag themselves to the polling station leaving a trail of blood behind them, they’d probably be stopped by her equally imaginary burly men.

It’s not entirely clear what it is that Ruthie believes would possess a yes supporter to vote Tory in order to put pressure on the SNP. She’s spent the past few months banging on about nothing except her opposition to another referendum, but apparently she now wants people who want another referendum to vote for her because she claims the SNP don’t show sufficient leadership. She seems to struggle with the concept that you can only be a leader if people want to follow where you’re leading them. Ruth will show leadership, just leadership 180 degrees opposite to the direction that yes voters want to go.

By the same logic, if you want to protect the NHS you should vote for it to be privatised, if you want nukes out of the Clyde you should vote for Trident renewal, and if you want politicians who are truthful, consistent, modest, and self-effacing you should vote for Donald Trump. Or indeed, if you are viscerally opposed to politicians who pose with tanks, buffaloes, or large and very dead fish so that they can grab a quick photo opportunity and avoid being asked difficult questions about their Westminster colleagues’ vindictive and nasty actions in government, you could always for vote Ruth.

Meanwhile Kezia Dugdale has opined that she’s afraid that the controversy over allegations of anti-semiticism in the Labour party could have damaged their election hopes. She really needn’t worry. Labour never had a hope to begin with. The only question in this election is just how gubbed they’re going to get. Labour descended into irrelevance the moment that the party decided that campaigning alongside the Tories to prop up the Westminster system was the best way for their to guarantee their continuing expenses claims, the best they can hope for is that they don’t haemorrhage so much support that Ruthie overtakes them by simply standing still. Labour do occasionally manage to oppose the Tories successfully, in the same way that if you leave a basket in your garden and a fish falls into it from the sky you’re a successful angler.

Having been upstaged by pig-sex, which for once didn’t involve Davie Cameron, Wullie Rennie is confident that his party can avoid being relegated to fifth place behind the Greens. He was also confident that Alistair Carmichael didn’t deserve to get prosecuted, that Nick Clegg was right to go into coalition with the Tories, and that Danny Alexander was going to get reelected. The pigs rutting behind him as he made his pronouncement were making a far more profound statement about Lib Dem chances. They’re screwed.

However you vote on Thursday, vote Scottish. Vote to annoy the Unionist establishment, vote to keep Scotland on the agenda. Let’s make sure that Labour is justly punished, that the Lib Dems are consigned to history where they belong, and that the Tories and UKIP make no inroads. Let’s hope for a majority SNP government and a large contingent of Greens. If we can do that, and we can, there’s still hope for Scotland.

There are strict laws about publishing during the period of time when the polling stations are open. It is illegal to publish anything about how the vote is going, or anything which could be construed as an exit poll. I can’t sit and moderate comments all day, so regretfully I will turn off the comments facility overnight, and will turn it back on again when the polls close at 10 pm on Thursday. Thank you for your understanding.

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24 comments on “Vote Scottish

  1. Thepnr says:

    I’m voting to rid myself of the Unionist establishment. Yes I have an agenda that sees no further than that. Vote Scottish!

  2. goldenbrodie says:

    I’d vote Scottish if I could. Good luck!

  3. Margaret says:

    Last night I dreamed that we had lost
    And in my dream I saw the cost
    The saltire limp no more to fly
    As once it did in days gone by
    The white rose drooped, it hung its head
    To mourn a dream that is now dead
    These symbols of our nation state
    Not needed now for it’s too late
    We did not choose the better way
    The die’s been cast, so now we pay
    My dream continued, how I cried
    For all those hopes that now had died
    But faces etched with anger grew
    For soon it dawned they’d been lied to
    The promises were just a sham
    There was no bread far less some jam
    They saw too late they’d bought a pup
    What happened next? Well I woke up
    To find the white rose blooming still
    The saltire flies on yonder hill
    My heart still beats with love and hope
    Good sense we’ll see among our folk

  4. MI5 Troll says:

    Don’t worry. The good people of Scotland will choose wisely again. Gang forward!!

  5. I can only watch anxiously from the near distance. Do the right thing, Scotland!

  6. Edward Freeman says:

    I voted by post already, and I’m not telling anyone who I’m voting for, except maybe Ruth Davidson.

  7. […] Wee Ginger Dug Vote Scottish […]

  8. WRH2 says:

    A kid on undecided voter came to our stall on Saturday and tried to tell us how much he regretted having voted Yes. Only trouble was he might as well have had Tory stamped on his forehead, it just was so obvious. Anyhow, he got his script a bit muddled so after he left we had a good laugh.

    • Iain says:

      You’d wonder why they bother. It’s not as if they’re broadcasting their message far and wide to an audience of thousands. I’ve seen Labour at the same game: they had a poor soul of a boy standing in Aberdeenshire who later appeared on TV masquerading as a disillusioned Yes voter and SNP supporter. Their heads might zip up the back but I wish they wouldn’t think ours do.

    • Saor Alba says:

      They are so utterly transparent! I blame their edyoucatshun.

  9. I can taste it, it’s that close. Self determination, that is.
    Jofre was trying to argue that we’re all a bit fed up, a bit of voter fatigue setting in, and the Tory spokesperson argued that this would be the last majority Administration, and the labour guy damned KD with faint praise…Next Time her tax and spend message will be heard.
    They sounded like the bunch of old has beens/never were that they are.

    It’ll be interesting to see how the ‘new’ voters, the 16-17 year olds, vote.
    As the Irish spin doctor urged:- ‘Vote early, and vote often.’
    I’ve got the supplies in…it’s going to be a long bumpy night, for some.
    SNP x 2
    How’s the postal count going, Ruth?

  10. Marcin lewandowski says:


  11. Marconatrix says:

    Is it too much to hope that the vote won´t be tampered with or otherwise ´adjusted´, for our own good of course?

  12. Global Nomad says:

    For the first time in a while, I may actually watch some of the election special on the Bias BC tonight to see what the exit polls are saying.
    Oh how I hope we retain a majority as I don’t think I can handle the Yoons gloating if we don’t
    It’ll be as bad as seeing all the p@sh which is coming our way when that hoard come up to the big league for the first time next season😦

  13. Black Rab says:

    Purdah is and has been breached so, why worry Paul. Let’s hope it’s a surprise result and Labour get it in the neck

  14. Macart says:

    The look on that wee wummin’s face finding folk waiting for the doors to be opened.🙂

    Worth more than gold.

    Anyroads been there voted on that and I hope the sun shines wherever you are. Just get in there and smile when you put your mark down.

    • I’ll be wearing my ‘lucky’ France ’98 baseball cap which I picked up in a Carresfoure at the time.
      I say ‘lucky’, because Brazil only beat us 2-1, we got a draw with Norway, and…oops my pen’s run out of ink !
      I bought a Saltire tie for the Referendum. It may see its third outing since, today.
      Tradition has it that we vote and retire to Papa Gill’s for a delish Ruby. No sense in breaking with tradition today. Rogan Josh mmm…
      Saor Alba.

  15. says:

    Reblogged this on Bampots Utd.

  16. goldenbrodie says:

    Will follow on BBC! May the force be with you.

  17. Robert Graham says:

    Thanks for a very touching post Margret it deserves a wider audience .
    I agree with the post regarding Purdah it’s meaningless to the Unionists .
    I came across a post on a Indy site ages ago ,The poster basically said a whole lot of Scots people were to dumb to vote for independence , well he received all sorts of abuse for his comment ,if tonights vote goes in favour of Unionist parties Well I guess he was totally right , and the last one out turn out the lights cos we are f/kd .

  18. *David Smith* says:

    Come on, Scotland! Get right intae them.

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