Davie Cameron doesn’t think

David Cameron doesn’t think that the Scottish government will have a mandate for another independence referendum. That sentence would be a whole lot more accurate if it ended at the word ‘think’. Scotland rarely fires any synapses in the brain of our Prime Minister, and on the rare occasions that it does his neural pathways snap crackle and pop into a resentful awareness that Scotland didn’t go back to eating its Unionist cereal after the independence referendum.

It’s all the fault of the Labour party, says a wee voice in Davie’s head, the mental scab that overlies the memory of his speech the morning after the referendum when instead of placating Scotland he told us it had all really been about England all along. He doesn’t think that telling Scotland that its Westminster representatives were going to be made second class would be seen in Scotland as a punishment for daring to consider self-determination. He didn’t think that was only going to piss us off, that it was only going to make us refuse to get back into the shortbread tin and would only make us redouble our efforts.

Davie doesn’t think about that. It’s not his fault. It’s Labour’s fault for not persuading Scotland back into the fold. It’s the SNP’s fault for existing. It’s the fault of the Scots in his imagination who only exist as a stereotypical chip on both shoulders. So Davie Cameron doesn’t think. If he thought he’d realise that it was his fault after all.

Davie Cameron doesn’t think. He doesn’t think about the promises made that we could only be safe within the EU if we voted no. All he thought about was settling scores within the Tory party, about settling his succession battle. Which of his teenage pals is going to get his job, his ex-bestie Boris or his current bestie George. Davie doesn’t think that reducing British politics to schoolyard rivalries writ large is damaging, and if he did think about it he wouldn’t care. All that Davie cares about is short term political advantage, but he’s not alone in that. It’s how all the Unionist parties operate in Westminster. They don’t think about anything else.

Davie Cameron doesn’t think. He doesn’t think about the promises that were made and not kept. He doesn’t think about the jobs that were supposed to be safe, the shipyards that were supposed to be given orders, the tax offices that were supposed to remain open. He doesn’t think about the pensions that were guaranteed but which now recede ever further into old age, shrinking like the collapse of the vertebral columns of working class people forced to remain working until they’re in their 70s, their 80s, until they drop dead. Davie doesn’t think about that, because Davie inherited dosh from his dad that his dad had stashed away abroad. You don’t need to think when you’re rich.

Let’s not think about Home Rule. Let’s not think about devomax. Let’s not think about the nearest thing possible to federalism. Let’s not think about the fevered promises of Gordie’s vow made in the last days of the referendum campaign when Davie thought for a moment and thought he was going to lose. Let’s not think about those faux parchment promises that were phrased in vague terms so that they could plausibly be read any way that you wanted. Let’s not think that the Unionist parties entered into the Smith Commission determined to give away as little as possible. Let’s not think that the Tories undermined the resultant Scotland bill and rejected every single amendment made to it by Scotland’s own MPs. Let’s not think about how Scotland in the Union is powerless to affect its own fate. There must be some cereal somewhere.

Instead let’s tell Scotland that it’s got the most powerful devolved parliament in the world. That sounds good. That sounds plausible. That sounds as though the Unionists have fulfilled their promises only the promise falls apart because Scottish people think. And we think that devolution is a concept that exists only under the British imaginary constitution that Westminster makes up to suit itself as it goes along, that the Scottish parliament is the only devolved parliament in the world because other parliaments are autonomous and their autonomy is guaranteed by written constitutions. We have no written constitution in the UK, we have only the word of Davie Cameron and the Unionist parties. And we think that those are worthless. Not even worth the paper they’re written on because they’re not written down. Those are the promises and commitments of devolution. Davie doesn’t want us to think about that.

But we do think, and we think that telling us that the Scottish parliament is the most devolved parliament in the world is much the same as telling us that the Scottish parliament is the most Edinburghy parliament in the world, the most Holyroody, the most Scottish parliament in the universe. It tells us nothing. It tells us that Westminster is full of crap, full of broken promises, full of lies, full of itself. That’s the kind of realisation you make when you think. So Davie Cameron doesn’t think.

Davie Cameron doesn’t think. He doesn’t think because if he did he’d realise that Scotland doesn’t need the SNP to make a case for independence. Davie and the Unionists are doing that all by themselves. The mandate for Scottish independence derives from the actions of the Unionist parties and from Davie Cameron’s lack of thought.

Davie Cameron doesn’t think, but we do. Let’s think. Let’s think about the better Scotland that we can build if Scotland was in charge of its own destiny. Let’s think about the changes we can make. Let’s think about the injustices that we can right. Let’s think about the chasm of inequalities that we can bridge. Let’s think about using Scotland’s talents and skills and resources to invest in Scotland. Let’s think about a better country. Let’s think about independence. And on Thursday let’s think about voting for parties that will take us closer to that goal. That’s the power of thought. Thought planted an idea and it grew a nation.

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21 comments on “Davie Cameron doesn’t think

  1. Pat Forsyth says:

    Thank you.Yet another brilliant perceptive article.

  2. Movy says:

    Absolutely brilliant as ever.

  3. Sue de Nymme says:

    That is perfect. That is rousing and eloquent at the same time. I will be, in my kilt, at the door of Skelmorlie Polling Station on Thursday. I wish I could put a copy of your essay through all of my neighbours’ doors before then.

    Thank you. A donation to the Dug’s treats is on its way.

  4. Dan Huil says:

    I believe most No voters in Scotland would agree with WGD that Cameron doesn’t think much of Scotland. I hope more and more former No voters are realizing just how much arrogance and ignorance is constantly being shovelled onto Scots by Westminster britnats and their cronies in the britnat media. Dinnae be feart; it’s time to break free from Westminster.

  5. […] Wee Ginger Dug Davie Cameron doesn’t think […]

  6. John Edgar says:

    Cameron does not think. He is in denial. EVEL rules. Jock-land does not figure in his cerebellum. He was dismissive of his one MP, the only Tory. He might even disown ScotTory as they are a diminishing return. He will soon be non- leader when he goes or is forced by the split in the Tory party over Brexit.
    Why does he bother? Slab and Lab are off the big radar bouncing along the bottom. Tory rules dahn sath, that is all that matters to DC.
    Scotland will do its own thing and go its own way.

  7. John Edgar says:

    Dave, according to the Guardian,is constructing a definition of “extremism” for the next bill on tackling extremism.
    It sounds like: “vocal or active opposition to British values!
    What are values and what is British?!
    Does that mean the SNP could be charged if they oppose the British state?
    You can imagine all sorts of problems with this definition. Voice opposition to the BBC in Scotland, you are extremist! It is the values bit that is the challenging one. Would Oliver after his vitriolic and foul attack on the SNP, supporters and voters be classed as extreme? After all, he is attacking the basic principle of democracy – universal suffrage rights.
    What is British? Drinking tea? Most,if not all of it comes from “abroad” from furriners. HP sauce – now made in the Netherlands! English football managers? Many are furriners too.
    It will be interesting! I suppose to test if you are “British”, take the test for those applying for citizenship in the UK. If you fail, you are not British? You can be extradited to…..
    We await.

    • danijelbarak says:


    • The sound of the slap of leather on willow during a cricket match on the sunkist village green, while sipping warm beer and munching cucumber sandwiches prepared by the Club Secretary’s wife.
      The Oxford Cambridge Boat race.
      The Henley Regatta.
      The Gold Cup.
      The Trooping of the Colour.
      Harrod’s sale.
      The August Bank Holiday and the traffic jams on the North Circular.
      The FA Cup Final.
      Abide with Me .
      The Oval
      The Test.
      Drury Lane.
      The Barbican.
      The Old Vic.
      Buck House.
      HRH’s two birthday bashes.
      The Chelsea Flower Show.
      and on and on and on and feckin’ on.
      That’s ‘British’ all right. The Holy London Empire.

  8. Macart says:

    THAT is the difference between a thoroughbred and a cart horse and that is a keeper.

    Jeez your fingers must be requiring splints after the past week. 🙂

  9. benmadigan says:

    great article paul – very well done indeed

  10. hettyforindy says:

    Perfectly put, a great read.
    Once people start to think they tend to not go back to not thinking. Going to be interesting, with 16/17 year olds voting

  11. Alison says:

    Wow, brilliant and inspiring as ever Paul. I feel like getting on a podium and screaming out your words to everyone

  12. Once again, magnificent.

  13. Guga says:

    Camoron can’t think as his head is probably full of porcine fantasies in the Caymans.

  14. Oh please please please can we get this printed out and put through EVERY letterbox in Scotland? Superb account of things as they were are, and frighteningly, might become!!! Scary to be ruled by a sycophantic, narcissistic dictator led party of sheep!!! Scotland BAAAAAd SNP BAAAAAd!!

  15. Henry Hooper says:

    I know I shouldn’t be impressed but that was so spot-on i am. Thanks more fuel to keep me going

  16. Black Rab says:

    Davie is an english supremacist.

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