Fingers in a pie

The only news on Sunday was the revelation that Davey Cameron is a pie. At first it was thought that the announcement tweeted on the official account of Jeremy Corbyn that Davey Cameron is a pie was the result of hours of debate and discussion amongst members of the shadow cabinet and was the only policy position that all the assorted factions of the Labour party could all agree on. Or at least if Cameron is not actually a pie, then he’s doubtless attempted sexual congress with one at some point, which is almost the same thing.

But a moment’s reflection should have disabused even those most hopeful of the notion that the parliamentary Labour party could ever get its collective act together, because the Blairites and Brownites in the cabinet would never have conceded that Cameron could be anything but a torta. Pies are far too working class and don’t represent the aspirational values that the heirs to Blair and Broon claim to represent. Mind you, the only aspirational values that lot represent is the aspiration for shadow cabinet members to get cushy jobs in investment banks after they’ve left politics, somewhat like Gordie Broon, Alistair Darling and Ed Balls. The only pies those three are interested in are the ones that they can get their fingers into and get the biggest slice of. The plebs can get the crumbs. That’s how Labour has operated for the past 20 years, and they see no reason to change now, even though their party is collapsing faster than a puff pastry drowing in gravy.

It’s still unclear what sort of pie the Prime Minister is although whatever the precise type of pie it’s a safe bet that he’s got a soggy bottom and an upper crust. Some have said that the tweet that Davey Cameron is a pie was actually a result of the autocorrect on Twitter and it really ought to have read Davey Cameron is a pigfancier. Given Davie’s previously rumoured affinity to pork products, many people have suggested that he’s a pork pie. But that seems unlikely as you can get your teeth into a pork pie, whereas if you try to get your teeth into Davie Cameron you’ll be repelled by all the grease.

Others have suggested that he may be a cream pie, because he’s rich and thick, although he’s not a Black Forest Gateau, because that’s German and Tories don’t do Europe. Besides, Davie popped his cherry a very long time ago, as the pig can attest. It’s most likely that he’s one of those pies that claims in its advertising that it’s full of rich meaty goodness and which promises to deliver value for money, but it’s overpriced, overrated and when you get into it you discover that it’s really made up of a big lump of rancid fat that leaves a bad taste in the mouth. And perhaps not coincidentally this is also what was reported by the pig after its alleged encounter with the Prime Minister.

We made the discovery that Davie is really a pastry product after Jeremy Corbyn’s Twitter account was hacked. At least it’s a safe assumption that the account was hacked, unless a Labour leader who is notorious for not having much of a sense of humour went online when he was really really drunk and tweeted that Davey Cameron is a pie. Jeremy hasn’t knowingly told a joke since the last time that the Tories were popular in Scotland, and is more likely to have tweeted something like : Why did the Prime Minister cross the road? To undermine the working class in their struggle and subvert the proletarian will. Jezza’s main claim to comedy fame is an ability to make Kim Jong Un seem like a barrel of laughs.

The person responsible also tweeted “Here we … here we … here we fucking go,” and “Fuck Trident”, which to be fair does sound like something that Jezza would say, although admittedly not in public. But in another tweet they used the c word. Given the amount of grief which Jezza has received for his failure to promote enough women into senior positions he wouldn’t publicly utter a word that would leave him accused of misogyny, although he might think it when considering certain male members of the shadow cabinet. And he might also think of some words for male members when he thought about them.

Faced with such a concentration of swerry wurds in such a brief set of short announcements, combined with a surrealist insult made famous on the Scottish comedy programme Chewin the Fat, the police announced that they’d narrowed down the search for the suspect hacker to the entire population of Scotland and everyone employed in a butcher’s shop.

It might just have been four short tweets, but they managed to get the leader of the opposition far more exposure in the press and on social media than all the press releases put out by his director of communications Seamus Milne over the past month. Whoever was behind the hacking, they really ought to be given the gig as Labour’s press person, because they’d do a damn sight better at it than the people who are in charge. After all, the very best response to a damning editorial in the Mail or the Telegraph about the evils of left wingery is to resort to Anglosaxon language and tell them to go and fellate a pork pie.

This would also be the most appropriate response to the BBC’s politics people, who seem to believe that inveigling the resignation of a shadow cabinet member at precisely the time when it was most likely to do damage isn’t actually a breach of the BBC’s obligation to be neutral. The fact is that if the no mark in question hadn’t resigned live on the BBC, no one would have known about it, because that’s how much of a no mark he is. I can’t even remember his name and am not inclined to go and look it up. It’s not like you’d have heard of him, or that you even care. Mind you, part of the problem for Labour is that pretty much all of the shadow cabinet is made up of no marks, but then it’s a sign that you’ve fallen far when you’re reduced to appointing Ian Murray as your shadow secretary of state for Scotland.

What’s really damning about this latest incident isn’t that the leader of the opposition has such crappy security on his official Twitter account that some clown could hack it in order to tweet comments full of swerry wurds. That’s not the worst thing. What’s worse it’s that the person who hacked the account to tweet comments full of swerry wurds was able to make a far more effective attack on a smary self-satisfied git of a lardy prime minister than anything that the Labour party has been able to manage for the past six years. Who stuck his thumb in a pie and pulled out a plummy bastert? Sure as hell wasn’t Jezza.


BUTRT cover front(1)BARKING UP THE RIGHT TREE Barking Up the Right Tree has now been published and is an anthology of my articles for The National newspaper. You can submit an advance order for the book on the Vagabond Voices website at http://vagabondvoices.co.uk/?page_id=1993

Price is just £7.95 for 156 pages of doggy goodness. Order today!

A limited number of signed copies of the two volumes of the Collected Yaps is also still available. See below for order details.


Donate to the Dug This blog relies on your support and donations to keep going – I need to make a living, and have bills to pay. Clicking the donate button will allow you to make a payment directly to my Paypal account. You do not need a Paypal account yourself to make a donation. You can donate as little, or as much, as you want. Many thanks.

Donate Button

Order the Collected Yaps of the Wee Ginger Dug Vols 1 & 2 for only £21.90 for both volumes. A limited number of signed copies is still available, so get your order in now! P&P will be extra, approximately £3 per single volume or £4 for both sent together. If you only want to order one volume, please specify which. Single volumes are available for £10.95 per copy.

To order please send an email with WEE GINGER BOOK ORDER in the subject field to weegingerbook@yahoo.com giving your name, postal address, and email address and which volumes (1, 2 or both) you wish to order. I will contact you with details of how to make payment. Payment can be made by Paypal, or by cheque or bank transfer.

Woman dresses sensibly in bad weather, shock, horror

I have a terrible confession to make. I like to wear nice suits and am partial to tweed. That means I can’t be a proper socialist. Proper socialists like Ian Murray the sole Labour MP in Scotland wear suits that don’t fit properly and which are made from cheap polyester. Ian is such a proper socialist that he recently came in at number five in GQ magazine’s list of the worst dressed men in Britain. Ian has only got the one look, when he’s not wearing a Union Jack suit that is, the red tie and dark suit combo which is the uniform of the Labour MP. You’d think that a simple look like that would be hard to screw up from a style point of view, but Ian manages it by virtue of wearing poorly made cheap clothes that don’t fit properly and which haven’t seen an iron since the last time the Labour party had a majority. That’s what a proper socialist does you see, being a proper socialist means you don’t know the difference between clothes that you look good in and clothes that make you look like you’ve dived into the remainder bin at Oxfam and put on the first thing you grabbed.

According to the Daily Telegraph only right wing people are allowed to dress nicely. If you’re of a leftish persuasion then you need to look like everything you wear was chosen for you by yer maw who still thinks you’re the same size you were when you were 14, and she paid for it all out of her state pension. The fact that I unlike Ian I will never figure in a men’s magazine’s list of the worst dressed men in the UK means that all my left wing credentials are a terrible lie. No more my vintage Harris tweed jackets and hand stitched Barker’s brogues, from now on I’ll be wearing rags that were found in a bin otherwise everything I say and do will be irretrievably tainted with hypocrisy. Clearly, if you consider your own appearance you’re a vain and selfish person who doesn’t think of anything else.

If it’s bad when a left wing man makes an effort to dress smartly, it’s even worse when it’s a woman. Unlike men, who usually get judged on what they say and do, women get judged on their appearance. It doesn’t matter if a woman has an intellect to put Einstein to shame, is as efficient as a quantum computer and can multitask better than Swiss army knife, if she wears the same frock two days running and weighs one gramme more than a stick insect then that’s all that she’ll be judged on. Oooh look at her, will opine the journos, letting herself go like that.

Desperate to find a new SNPbaad angle, on Saturday the establishment sheep of the Daily Telegraph decided that the important news story to come out of the floods in Scotland was that Nicola Sturgeon wore a shocking outfit. Now, if Nicola took Lady Gaga as her style icon and had decided to visit the flooded areas wearing a dress made entirely out of bacon slices, that might be considered shocking, even if she said she was wearing the dress in an attempt to support Aberdeen pig farmers. Mind you, if David Cameron wore a suit made out of bacon people would just wonder if he’d fallen out with his special friend.

But the First Minister wasn’t wearing a bacon dress, she wasn’t even wearing a saltire suit which would be the Scottish nationalist equivalent of Ian Murray’s Union Jack one. What the Telegraph considered shocking was that Nicola was wearing a nice warm jaiket and a pair of posh wellies that were entirely appropriate for the bad weather. If she’d worn an old torn jaiket and a scuzzy pair of boots, the very same paper would have criticised her for looking a mess and showing disrespect to the flood victims.

The article contrasted Nicola’s choice of footwear, which some 30 seconds on Google would have told you cost about £50, with man of the people David Cameron who chose to visit flood victims in a cheap pair of wellies from Asda. The article was a snide and nasty attempt to imply that if a woman wears nice clothes then she’s out of touch with suffering, that her empathy is fake, and her concern is plastic. Unlike man of the people David Cameron of course, who told his aides to get him a cheap pair of wellies because he didn’t want to come across as too much of a posho. There have not been, to my knowledge, any articles in the press discussing how much Cameron has paid for his suits, whether they’re bespoke or off the peg. Although admittedly you don’t need to discuss Cameron’s sartorial choices in order to decide whether he’s a hypocrite, you can tell that every time he opens his smarmy gob.

Next week we can look forward to a shocked exposé in the Telegraph announcing to a gobsmacked Scotland that Nicola puts the central heating on in her house even though the temperature hasn’t gone as low as minus 15C. Such a shocking waste that is, and so disrespectful to poor people. What’s really disrespectful to poor people are all the articles in the right wing press that demonise the poor and which promote the evil politics of a right wing Tory government that favours the rich and the powerful over the low paid and the vulnerable.

It’s depressing enough, although entirely predictable, that the Telegraph will trawl the back of the wardrobe in order to find something to attack the Scottish government, but it’s even more depressing that a newspaper story criticising a woman for how she is dressed was written by a woman. That’s Auntie Tammery that is, sooking up to her male bosses by pandering to sexism.

She then tweeted a link to the article to independence supporters in a crude and obvious attempt to provoke some sort of response that could then be used to decry the bullies of Scottish nationalism. Let’s wind up Scottish independence supporters so that we can get one of them who’s had a wee bit too much to drink to post something angry on social media, and then we can use that to characterise the entire independence movement. That’s the modus operandi of a gaggle of giggling schoolweans as well as the UK press. It’s all so childishly pathetic, yet this is what passes for professional journalism in the UK.

Now I better go purge my wardrobe of anthing that’s not made from cheap polyester before I’m accused of hypocrisy.


BUTRT cover front(1)BARKING UP THE RIGHT TREE Barking Up the Right Tree has now been published and is an anthology of my articles for The National newspaper. You can submit an advance order for the book on the Vagabond Voices website at http://vagabondvoices.co.uk/?page_id=1993

Price is just £7.95 for 156 pages of doggy goodness. Order today!

A limited number of signed copies of the two volumes of the Collected Yaps is also still available. See below for order details.


Donate to the Dug This blog relies on your support and donations to keep going – I need to make a living, and have bills to pay. Clicking the donate button will allow you to make a payment directly to my Paypal account. You do not need a Paypal account yourself to make a donation. You can donate as little, or as much, as you want. Many thanks.

Donate Button

Order the Collected Yaps of the Wee Ginger Dug Vols 1 & 2 for only £21.90 for both volumes. A limited number of signed copies is still available, so get your order in now! P&P will be extra, approximately £3 per single volume or £4 for both sent together. If you only want to order one volume, please specify which. Single volumes are available for £10.95 per copy.

To order please send an email with WEE GINGER BOOK ORDER in the subject field to weegingerbook@yahoo.com giving your name, postal address, and email address and which volumes (1, 2 or both) you wish to order. I will contact you with details of how to make payment. Payment can be made by Paypal, or by cheque or bank transfer.

Pacing the carpet of lies

Gordie’s been intervening for the first time again. He intervenes for the first time on a regular basis, far more regularly than he could be arsed to turn up at the House of Commons and do his job when he was the MP for Kirkcaldy. All he did regularly after he lost his job as worst UK Prime Minister for a 100 years, and he had some pretty stiff competition, was to sulk. Anyway, now that he doesn’t have a constituency to ignore, he’s got a new career as an advisor to a US based asset management company which according to reports had previously paid him £50,000 for pacing up and down the carpet and delivering one of his self-regarding speeches. Gordie saved the banks you know, but more importantly he saved his bank balance.

Here in Scotland we are hugely blessed, because we get to partake of the wit and wisdom of Gordie for free. Admittedly there’s very little in the way of wit or wisdom in what Gordie has to say, but he’s all that the Labour party in Scotland have got that could pass for a statesman. And he certainly is a statesman, being a man and a bit of a state. Labour in Scotland has once again dragged Gordie out to wear out the carpets and save the Labour party because things worked out so well for them the last time he did it. No one listens to him any more, no one is interested in the promises and guarantees of a man who wouldn’t deliver on them even when he did have the power to do so.

The purpose of this week’s carpet pacing was to tell us how we need to stay a part of the EU. Most people in Scotland agree with this proposition, even though we may have deep reservations about how the European project has been carried out. Mainly that it all seems to be an exercise in self-promotion for the likes of Gordie and more concerned with the interests of big business than the interests of European citizens. However what people in Scotland like most about the EU is that it acts as a brake on the more swivel eyed tendencies of the Tories in Westminster. The EU is very far from perfect, but we get all sorts of guarantees as a result of EU membership, holiday entitlements, human rights, limits on the number of hours we can be forced to work a week, the right to travel freely and settle and work throughout the continent, and all that would be threatened if the UK left.

UKIP and the Europhobic tendency amongst the Tories want to leave the EU so that they can turn the UK into a sort of USA with worse weather and poorer food, a country where women have no maternity rights, workers are atomised and unprotected, you consider yourself lucky if you get two weeks leave a year, you live to work not work to live, and all so a small minority can get obscenely wealthy. Even within the EU the Tories have already taken us a long way down this path to pauperisation, a path which the right wing of the Labour party was happy to tread too. Outside the EU the brakes would be off and Scotland would lose a vital safeguard to protect us against the excesses of a far right wing government that less than 15% of us voted for.

Gordie warned that we must not let UKIP pull the same tricks during the referendum as the SNP. So presumably we must be on our guard against Nigel Farage speaking out in favour of increased immigration and greater integration with the rest of the world. Gordie wore down some more of the Axminster as he warmed to his theme that it was important to present a patriotic British case for staying in the EU, in a totally non-nationalist way of course. The defining characteristic of British nationalism is that it’s not nationalist at all, and that’s what makes us better than foreigners. The EU needs the UK to teach it what non-nationalist nationalism is all about, or something. Gordie’s speeches are full of more contradictions that a book of zen koans, only without the deep spiritual truths, being rooted in a meaningful philosophy, or any mastery of Asian martial arts.

He refused to give a direct answer to the big question for Scotland. Gordie doesn’t do direct answers that might show him up to be a hypocrite. If the rest of the UK votes to leave the EU but Scotland votes to stay then it would be morally wrong for Scotland to lose the benefits of EU membership despite the fact we’d voted to keep them, and despite the fact that Gordie was one of the people who was telling us in 2014 that we needed to remain a part of the UK in order to ensure our continuing membership of the EU. Even though Gordie refused to answer the question directly, he left it clear that he believes Scotland should be dragged out of Europe against its will. He’d rather that Scotland was left naked and exposed to the worst excesses of the Tories and the right wing of the Labour party than decide its own destiny. Scotland deciding its own destiny is bad nationalism, the UK deciding its own destiny isn’t nationalism at all.

What he did instead was to present an irrelevant case to illustrate his evasion. Gordie pointed out that during the 1975 European referendum, 58% of Scots voted for membership, but 68% did in the rest of the UK. No one suggested breaking up the UK then, he opined, oblivious to the fact that in both Scotland and the rest of the UK there was a clear majority in favour of Europe. Gordie clearly believes that we can’t count and don’t realise that 58% is a majority. It’s a larger majority that the Better Together campaign got during the Scottish referendum, so according to Gordie’s logic Scotland ought to be on the way to independence right now.

And in fact we are on the way to independence. We’re on our way to independence because all the promises and guarantees made by Gordie and his pals during the independence referendum campaign have proven to be as worn out and threadbare as the carpets that Gordie paces up and down on. Scotland is on its way to independence because of the lies of Westminster, and the self-serving hypocrisy of Gordon Brown. In May the Unionist parties will die a little more, and we’ll take one more step down the worn out carpet of Gordon’s lies towards independence.


BUTRT cover front(1)BARKING UP THE RIGHT TREE Barking Up the Right Tree has now been published and is an anthology of my articles for The National newspaper. You can submit an advance order for the book on the Vagabond Voices website at http://vagabondvoices.co.uk/?page_id=1993

Price is just £7.95 for 156 pages of doggy goodness. Order today!

A limited number of signed copies of the two volumes of the Collected Yaps is also still available. See below for order details.


Donate to the Dug This blog relies on your support and donations to keep going – I need to make a living, and have bills to pay. Clicking the donate button will allow you to make a payment directly to my Paypal account. You do not need a Paypal account yourself to make a donation. You can donate as little, or as much, as you want. Many thanks.

Donate Button

Order the Collected Yaps of the Wee Ginger Dug Vols 1 & 2 for only £21.90 for both volumes. A limited number of signed copies is still available, so get your order in now! P&P will be extra, approximately £3 per single volume or £4 for both sent together. If you only want to order one volume, please specify which. Single volumes are available for £10.95 per copy.

To order please send an email with WEE GINGER BOOK ORDER in the subject field to weegingerbook@yahoo.com giving your name, postal address, and email address and which volumes (1, 2 or both) you wish to order. I will contact you with details of how to make payment. Payment can be made by Paypal, or by cheque or bank transfer.

A minor reshuffle in a marked deck of cards

After spending the last couple of days playing hard to get with the massed ranks of the UK press, Jeremy Corbyn has finally let the world know what’s going to happen with the Labour shadow cabinet reshuffle. You might think that the rearrangement of chairs on a ship that’s sailing straight to the bottom of the electoral ocean is not an event that should occasion much in the way of emotional involvement from the rest of the world, all the more so when the bums on those seats are bums who struggle to be recognised in their own shaving mirrors, but the Blairite wing of the Labour party are as sensitive as a freshly slapped face and they’ll squeal like Cameron’s pig if they think they’re about to be slapped again.

Getting slapped is precisely what happened. Some people that no one has heard of got demoted, and a couple of others got sacked. In the normal run of things, in the business world that the managerial wing of Labour have sold what passes for their soul to, publicly undermining your boss is grounds for a sacking. However now the heirs to Blair are squealing that the business rules that Labour’s right wing wants to impose on the rest of us shouldn’t have to apply to Labour’s right wing.

Mike Dugher, who no one had heard of before he was sacked, didn’t take his sacking well. Mike recently claimed that Corbyn’s supporters into a religious cult, presumably because he thinks it’s ridiculous to imagine that a political party ought to have some sort of guiding moral principles. Jezza was not best pleased, because of course he believes that the SNP has the cultishness business pretty much sewn up. But Mike wouldn’t stop running his mouth off, criticising his boss in public, and generally undermining the new direction that a large majority of ordinary Labour members had voted for. Then after getting sacked for being an out of control disloyal loudmouth, he went and proved the point by changing his Twitter profile to advertise the fact that he’s an out of control disloyal loudmouth. Pat McFadden likewise got his jotters for undermining his boss’s foreign policy. Corbyn’s foreign policy is predicated on the radical notion that the world is a complex place and that the actions of nations like the UK or the USA can have unforeseen consequences. Pat doesn’t believe this, he prefers to believe that bad things happen because of bad people being bad. And the best thing to do with bad people is bomb them. Pat’s views have the subtlety and nuance of a Twitter rant, but it’s Pat who is hailed in the media as Mr Sensible.

Mike and Pat’s disloyalty doesn’t count. Disloyalty only counts when you’re being disloyal to the establishment, and since Jezza is decidedly non-establishment you can’t be disloyal to him. The fact that he’s now acting like a party leader and not an indulgent geography teacher who doesn’t give a toss whether his pupils pass or fail is causing a media feeding frenzy. It’s mayhem, reporters that no one trusts writing for for newspapers that no one reads are interviewing politicians that no one has heard of about a reshuffle that no one cares about in a parliamentary party that no one believes in.

The shadow cabinet isn’t even real, it’s the fantasy football of politics, although to be fair British politics ceased being about reality a very long time ago. The shadow cabinet serves no real purpose other than nominating someone in the official opposition as the person who will trade non-points with the relevant government minister in parliament as both sides seek to avoid answering any questions. It’s an exercise in irrelevance.

Labour’s right wing are for some odd reason are described as moderates in the media. We live in a country where moderation is regarded as having a propensity to go to war, selling out workers’ rights to big business, and putting the interests of the state, the security services, and the City before those of the people. The modern right of the Labour party is more right wing than the Tories during the 70s. Labour’s right wing owe their allegience to a higher principle than the Labour party. That might be fine if that principle was equality, truth, and social justice, but the principle they owe their alliegence to is the supremacy of the British establishment. The collective responsibility of the shadow cabinet has been sold to the City of London. That’s precisely why the party was kicked in the collective nads in Scotland in May.

The reason that the public lost their faith in Labour was because of the party’s hypocrisy. The Tories are basterts but make no secret of being basterts, Labour is the Uriah Heep of politics which pretends to be so terribly umble but then out-basterts the Tories. The oppressive rules and regulations which Labour wants to inflict on the rest of us shouldn’t apply to the princes and princesses of the party. Responsibility is for the little people, not for the jumped up rightist entryists who’d be far better off as assistant managers in a branch of Iceland.

However the jumped up ones are jumping with anger right now, and Jezza’s minor reshuffle threatens to tear the party apart. Three more people you’ve never heard of resigned today, one of them during a BBC interview, and now the papers are full of headlines about Stalinist dictators and purges. Those of us who aren’t fully paid up members of Labour’s mini tent tendency might fondly imagine that the purpose of the party is to oppose the Tories, Labour’s right know better. They are convinced that the purpose of the party is to adopt Tory policies then present them to the public as sensible moderation.

The Tories know that the British state and establishment functions to protect the interests of the rich and the powerful. Labour’s right wing don’t want to change that system, they just want to extend its privileges to Labour’s managerialists and during the Blair and Brown years that’s exactly what they did. Their screams of protest are a sign that they’re not going to give up their corpse-like grasp on politics in the UK. The screams are warnings to the little people not to get ideas above their station. Don’t dare imagine that anything can change, don’t dream, don’t imagine a better future. That’s the British way. A minor reshuffle isn’t going to change anything in a marked deck of cards. The game is still rigged against you.


BUTRT cover front(1)BARKING UP THE RIGHT TREE Barking Up the Right Tree has now been published and is an anthology of my articles for The National newspaper. You can submit an advance order for the book on the Vagabond Voices website at http://vagabondvoices.co.uk/?page_id=1993

Price is just £7.95 for 156 pages of doggy goodness. Order today!

A limited number of signed copies of the two volumes of the Collected Yaps is also still available. See below for order details.


Donate to the Dug This blog relies on your support and donations to keep going – I need to make a living, and have bills to pay. Clicking the donate button will allow you to make a payment directly to my Paypal account. You do not need a Paypal account yourself to make a donation. You can donate as little, or as much, as you want. Many thanks.

Donate Button

Order the Collected Yaps of the Wee Ginger Dug Vols 1 & 2 for only £21.90 for both volumes. A limited number of signed copies is still available, so get your order in now! P&P will be extra, approximately £3 per single volume or £4 for both sent together. If you only want to order one volume, please specify which. Single volumes are available for £10.95 per copy.

To order please send an email with WEE GINGER BOOK ORDER in the subject field to weegingerbook@yahoo.com giving your name, postal address, and email address and which volumes (1, 2 or both) you wish to order. I will contact you with details of how to make payment. Payment can be made by Paypal, or by cheque or bank transfer. Get your order in today – an ideal Christmas present!

Rebranding a tin of turds

A group of Better Together activists have launched a new Unionist party because the existing Unionist parties aren’t Unionisty enough for them. Upset that staunch Unionists are splitting their votes between Labour, the Tories and the Lib Dems, the activists have decided to start a new party and split the Unionist vote even more. Funny how Unionists are always staunch, like Rangers fans or flute players. Supporters of independence are never described as staunch, possibly because indy supporters are mad cultist types who get their instructions via neurolinguistic programming.

According to its founders, a new Unionist party is required because the wishy washy policies of the existing Unionist parties and their devolutionary antics just don’t cut it any more and are clearly none too popular with the voters. It’s not enough to say No, you have to say No more loudly and vehemently. You can just stand on a tank and say No, you have to point the gun turret at the devolved settlement and say you’ll blow it up. This mob are drawing Ruth Davidson’s line in the sand and this time they really mean it. No more powers for Holyrood if they get their way. You’ll have had your devolution, Scotland. You’re not getting any more, and because you keep demanding more, you’re going to get sent to bed without any devolved supper. It’s back to the future with Unionist purity.

What the new party will do however, is to get the Scottish government to sign an agreement with Westminster calling for ever closer union, just like that clause in the EU treaty that the Tories are desperate to get out of. Apparently we can’t trust Europe, but we can trust the Tories. They also want to restore the royal coat of arms to all Scottish government pronouncements, because what’s really wrong with Scotland is that we’re not royalist enough and a dose of the lizzies is required to cure us. We need more royalism and cleaning for the queen. I always pick up the dug’s crap and put it in the bin, but the title of that campaign makes me want to pick it up and post it to Buckingham Palace.

Called, imaginatively enough, the Unionist Party, this is a party for that small minority in Scotland that didn’t want any devolution in the first place. So that would be unreconstructed Tories, swivel eyed UKIPists, those of an Orangey hue, and that part of the Labour party which has forgotten how traumatic the 1980s were. Since Scotland isn’t showing itself to be well disposed to parties which surrender Scotland to Westminster, the new party’s founders think that the solution to this difficulty is to surrender even more. It’s a bit like claiming that the cure for the flu is to infect people with typhoid and hide the sudafed. It’s clearly self-defeating and the new party looks like having about the same success in winning a place in the affections of the Scottish electorate as Nigel Farage on an Edinburgh pub crawl.

Scotland’s Unionist parties are not in a death spiral because they’re not Unionist enough. They’re in a death spiral because the Union that they stand for is unfit for purpose. You can come out with any old guff you like about the Union, and the mainstream media frequently does, but what it boils down to is the proposition that Scotland does better by having a minority voice in a corrupt parliament than it could possibly do by looking after itself. The Union isn’t about Scotland and England. It’s about the Westminster parliament. Supporters of the Westminster parliament may like to obfuscate, because it’s in their interests to do so, but the people of Scotland can see the difference quite clearly. Westminster is not Scotland, it’s not England, but it is the Union and it’s irredeemably corrupt. Getting back to Unionist purity just means washing your hands of your individual will and handing yourself over on a plate to a parliament that doesn’t give a damn about anything other than the profits of the financial sector in the City of London and the good health of defence contractors. That’s not a recipe for solving Scotland’s problems, it’s a recipe for sticking your head up the arse of a Tory government and pretending that the view is lovely.

Unionism in Scotland is suffering from its final illness. It’s terminal and there is no cure. There isn’t even any pretence these days that there’s such a thing as a positive case for the Union. Making such a case would mean demonstrating how Scotland is better off under the rule of Davie Cameron, George Osborne and Iain Duncan Smith and their party which managed a mere 14.5% of Scottish votes. A party that has taken us into yet another war, has given the bankers free rein again, has demonised the poor, has learned absolutely nothing at all. It’s crony business at usual at Westminster. Not even a Hotpoint automatic frontloader could spin that one.

The positioning has started for the Scottish elections in May but the Unionist parties have already more or less acknowledged defeat. Labour’s best hope is that it can stave off collapse enough for it to stay the second largest party. The Tories’ best hope is that their long decline into irrelevance will be slow enough to allow Labour to overtake them on the way to the abyss. And no one cares about the Lib Dems except the BBC, which still thinks that they’re a far more important party than the Greens.

The Unionist parties and their media hangers on still labour under the misapprehension that if they can only prove that the SNP is as crap as Labour or the Tories then people will go back to voting Labour or Tory. The SNP are far from perfect, although I’m not going to detail my dissatisfactions for the simple reason that if I do Unionists will pounce on it in an attempt create another SNPbad story. It’s enough that they’re competent, and that alone makes them leagues better than Labour.

Unionist journalists can do their own work, I’m not doing it for them. They’re still playing their traditional game of short term political advantage, but independence supporters have our eye on a long term prize. We’re not playing the same game any more. That’s why the SNP and the Greens will be the big winners in May, and why nothing that the Unionists do will make the slightest bit of difference no matter how many times they try to rebrand themselves. A tin of turds is still a tin of turds, no matter what it says on the label. Post it to the Queen.


BUTRT cover front(1)BARKING UP THE RIGHT TREE Barking Up the Right Tree has now been published and is an anthology of my articles for The National newspaper. You can submit an advance order for the book on the Vagabond Voices website at http://vagabondvoices.co.uk/?page_id=1993

Price is just £7.95 for 156 pages of doggy goodness. Order today!

A limited number of signed copies of the two volumes of the Collected Yaps is also still available. See below for order details.


Donate to the Dug This blog relies on your support and donations to keep going – I need to make a living, and have bills to pay. Clicking the donate button will allow you to make a payment directly to my Paypal account. You do not need a Paypal account yourself to make a donation. You can donate as little, or as much, as you want. Many thanks.

Donate Button

Order the Collected Yaps of the Wee Ginger Dug Vols 1 & 2 for only £21.90 for both volumes. A limited number of signed copies is still available, so get your order in now! P&P will be extra, approximately £3 per single volume or £4 for both sent together. If you only want to order one volume, please specify which. Single volumes are available for £10.95 per copy.

To order please send an email with WEE GINGER BOOK ORDER in the subject field to weegingerbook@yahoo.com giving your name, postal address, and email address and which volumes (1, 2 or both) you wish to order. I will contact you with details of how to make payment. Payment can be made by Paypal, or by cheque or bank transfer. Get your order in today – an ideal Christmas present!

Through the mirror in the Unionist wonderland

This weekend Nick Robinson, who receives a very large salary from BBC licence fee payers for his supposed political expertise, asked John Swinney of the Scottish government if Scotland is about to become a one party state. Nick disingenously defended himself from the predictable criticism by claiming that he was posing a legitimate question, and how could asking questions be insulting to anyone. Although he made this defence on Twitter, and finished it with the parenthesis of portentious doom … What he said was “Questions don’t insult anyone except … ” The clear implication here being that you could only be offended if you were in fact a minion of a one party state and were just about to haul a BBC politics editor off to a reeducation camp in Carnoustie – and not even let him anywhere near the golf course bar.

It is an interesting line of defence to claim that it’s illegitimate to be offended by a question. Presumably then if we pose the question, “Is Nick Robinson a snide wee chancer who uses a well paid and influential position that we pay for in order to troll us?” then the BBC’s doyen of politics couldn’t possibly have any reason to feel offended. Neither could he be offended if we were to ask “Does Nick’s behaviour not suggest that he’s still smarting like a petulant teenager after getting his arse handed to him on a plate by Alicsammin at a press conference during the independence referendum campaign?”

These are perfectly legitimate questions, and indeed they are questions which are considerably better founded in the evidence than Nick’s question about a one party state. Of course a question can be insulting. A question is insulting when it’s obvious trolling nonsense posed by a person who should not only know better, but who does know better, and who is only posing the question in order to provoke a reaction which he can then use to claim victimhood status. Poor wee Nick, getting abused by those awful cybernats, just for doing his job too. But that’s only true if Nick’s job description says that his job is being a troll. Mind you, this is the BBC we’re talking about here, so that may very well by the case.

This is the UK remember, and in the UK the ones who are abused and bullied are not the powerless, are not the poor, are not the marginalised. The real victims are the influential and the well connected. Just like the real victim of the Iraq War was Tony Blair, who has suffered terribly at the hands of people saying he’s a war criminal. Poor Tony, he has to charter private jets now you know, because he can’t mix with the common people any more. The real victims of the Labour party’s internecine warfare weren’t the ordinary party members who’d seen their party taken over by a bunch of careerists who have turned the party into an apologist for the worst excesses of capitalism and who threaten undemocratic coups if they don’t get their own way, the real victims are the managerial careerists whose career trajectories have gone the same way as a UKIP party Scottish political broadcast. And the real victim of the British media’s war on truth and its complicity with the British state and establishment during the Scottish independence referendum campaign was of course Nick Robinson.

Can we not lay this nonsense to rest for good? It’s tiresome, tedious and deeply deeply dumb. It’s the constant repetition of this kind of crap that has destroyed the credibility of the mainstream media. But the likes of Nick just can’t help themselves as they bounce off one another in their metromediacommentariat bubble accusing everyone outside their feedback loop of being parochial and inward looking. I know Scotland isn’t a one party state. You know Scotland isn’t a one party state. The dugs in the street know that Scotland isn’t a one party state. Kezia bloody Dugdale knows that Scotland isn’t a one party state, because Kezia may not be the sharpest knife in the political toolbox but she does know the difference between a statement of fact and a ludicrous political slur that only gains traction because the mainstream Unionist media is venal and desperate.

Even Nick knows that Scotland is not a one party state. He knows this because he’s the BBC’s politics editor and if Scotland was indeed a one party state then Nick wouldn’t have a job without being a fully paid up member of a party which undemocratically hoards power and refuses to share it. And that party would be the Tories.

Strange then that we’ve never heard Nick ask Davie Cameron or George Osborne if the Tories are creating a one party state. It’s the Tories who are making non-English MPs second class, who plan to redraw constituency boundaries to increase their majority, who have decided to reduce the funding paid to opposition parties, and have stuffed the Lords with Tory donors. Despite the fact that the Scottish Government has but a tiny fraction of the real power exercised by the UK Government, despite the fact that Scotland has a system of proportional representation, far more acres of press cover are devoted to accusing the Scottish Government of undemocratic behaviour than a UK Government which received the backing of just 14.5% of Scotland’s voters.

Increasingly we live in a country where the mainstream media does not exist to challenge the establishment and to hold it to account. The job of the mainstream media in the UK is to defend the establishment, to propagate that establishment’s point of view, and to demonise and silence criticism. Scotland’s government and ruling party is opposed to that establishment, and seeks independence for Scotland. That creates an existential threat for the British establishment, and its media arm reacts by projecting its own shortcomings onto the Scottish Government. The mainstream media in Scotland acts the way it does because it fears that in an independent Scotland someone else will do to them what they have been doing to the Scottish people for decades.

This week we also witnessed a twitter spat in which members of the Unionist establishment claimed that the real artistic creatives in Scotland, the real independent minds, were those who kept quiet during the independence referendum and who didn’t challenge the status quo. Scotland has crossed through the mirror into a Unionist wonderland, where the powerful are the abused and the powerless the abusers, where the victimisers are the martyrs and the victims are the monsters.

The only cure for this madness is to make Scotland a normal country in charge of its own destiny. As 2016 begins, we’re already travelling down that road, and the shrieks of the insane Union ring ever louder and crazier.


BUTRT cover front(1)BARKING UP THE RIGHT TREE Barking Up the Right Tree has now been published and is an anthology of my articles for The National newspaper. You can submit an advance order for the book on the Vagabond Voices website at http://vagabondvoices.co.uk/?page_id=1993

Price is just £7.95 for 156 pages of doggy goodness. Order today!

A limited number of signed copies of the two volumes of the Collected Yaps is also still available. See below for order details.


Donate to the Dug This blog relies on your support and donations to keep going – I need to make a living, and have bills to pay. Clicking the donate button will allow you to make a payment directly to my Paypal account. You do not need a Paypal account yourself to make a donation. You can donate as little, or as much, as you want. Many thanks.

Donate Button

Order the Collected Yaps of the Wee Ginger Dug Vols 1 & 2 for only £21.90 for both volumes. A limited number of signed copies is still available, so get your order in now! P&P will be extra, approximately £3 per single volume or £4 for both sent together. If you only want to order one volume, please specify which. Single volumes are available for £10.95 per copy.

To order please send an email with WEE GINGER BOOK ORDER in the subject field to weegingerbook@yahoo.com giving your name, postal address, and email address and which volumes (1, 2 or both) you wish to order. I will contact you with details of how to make payment. Payment can be made by Paypal, or by cheque or bank transfer. Get your order in today – an ideal Christmas present!