In the absence of anything positive to put forward in the way of policies, suggestions, or even pleasantries about the weather, Kezia Dugdale has decided that the way to restore the fortunes of the Labour party in Scotland is to insult all the people who used to vote Labour but don’t any more. That’s folk like me, and quite possibly you. According to Kezia we are “robots that are given a chip and told what to think”. Kezia knows a lot about chips, what with Labour’s definition of well balanced being to have a chip on both shoulders. Or in the case of certain Labour MSPs, a rancid sausage supper drenched in bitter sauce. It does not compute.
Driven to distraction by her weekly drubbing from the Hive Queen in high heels, there’s nothing left for the branch manager of Labour in Scotland except insults. By giving up on the Labour party supporters of independence have also ceased to be properly human, we’ve become microchipped robotic followers of the SNP without the power of critical thought. We’re the cybernats, the Aye Robots. And just to prove the point, hundreds of Twitter users individually sent messages to Kezia with the identical comment: “How dare you say SNP members are robots given a chip and told what to think?!”
Kezia’s definition of critical thought is to constantly criticise the Scottish Government for absolutely everything. What she doesn’t appreciate is that it’s her constant carping that produces a closing of ranks on the aye side. None of us intend giving Kezia the opportunity to go off on one, not when she’s already proven herself so good at finding entirely spurious reasons to do so all by herself. Kezia Dugdale wants to find reasons to criticise the SNP, the Scottish Government, or the independence movement in general, and she’s got a bit of a cheek complaining that yes supporters aren’t doing her job for her.
Kezia’s comments prove only one thing, that the Labour party in Scotland has finally had its chips and has exterminated itself. There’s a country hiding behind the sofa whenever Kezia appears at FMQs, hiding in embarrassment. The new Scottish cringe is the Unionists at Holyrood, they’re embarrassed by their own country and are an embarrassment to it. There are Daleks with a finer grasp of nuance than Kezia Dugdale, there are more sensitive Cylons, Borgs that are better at banter. After screaming SNPbad in a Dalek voice for the past decade and a half, no one is listening any more. Kezia is just voicing her frustration that yes supporters aren’t providing her with SNPbad accusations that might stick. Unfortunately for the Labour party, Scotland’s yes voters have learned that resistance is fertile.
The very same day that Labour was spending FMQs complaining that no one is listening to their complaints about the SNP, a Labour MP was up on an assault charge. Marie Rimmer, Labour MP for St Helens in Merseyside – and former leader of her local council – has been accused of kicking a woman outside a polling station during the independence referendum vote last year. Despite facing a charge of assault, Ms Rimmer is a member of the Justice select committee in Westminster. Ms Rimmer denies all the charges, and is innocent as she has not been convicted of any charge. Our media is treating her appropriately, as an innocent person whose case is yet to be heard before a judge.
There is however a very big but. Despite all the acreage of press coverage devoted to the Michelle Thompson affair, there were no allegations that any illegality had taken place. Yet here we have a Labour MP who is actually up before a judge for allegedly having carried out a violent attack on a woman, and the story scarcely figures in the press. If it had been an SNP MP who was facing a charge of assaulting a No supporter outside a polling station, the story would be the lead item on Reporting Scotland and the headline news in the papers for months to come. It would be cited repeatedly as proof that all independence supporters are violent.
Irrespective of what Kezia Dugdale and the Labour party might like to think it’s certainly not the case that the failings of the SNP are not given prominence in the media. The problem for the Labour party is one of overkill and a lack of balance. When all you hear are the deafening screams that one party is the most evil organisation since SMERSH, and then it turns out that nothing illegal happened, while the party doing the screaming has to face legal charges which get reported in whispered voices, you stop listening.
The only redeeming feature that Kezia possesses is that she’s not Wullie Rennie. Wullie in his wisdom – that’s wisdom in the sense of Norman – decided make the claim that the Scottish Government had broken its promise on student financing, because the Lib Dems have never ever done anything like that. Oooh Mr Grimsdale.
SNPbad is a drug to which Scotland’s voters have become habituated. It doesn’t work any more. SNPbad is Unionist heroin and they’re forced to inject more and more of it into the body politic in the vain hope that it might produce a hit. There’s as much chance of getting a high out of the British state as there is that George Osborne might share whatever it is he’s been taking before making one of his somnambulant appearances in the Commons.
I for one welcome our new robot overlords. The SNP have many faults, but whatever their failings they’re a vast improvement on the sorry bunch of burnt out microchips that pass for brains in the Labour party. Because it’s not like we have no experience of what Labour does when it’s in power – we have Glesca and North Lanarkshire cooncils for that, and last I heard no one was holding them up as shining examples of great government.
The party which lacks humanity is Kezia’s. For too long they’ve practised the politics of positioning like unfeeling robots serving a state that doesn’t care about its people, and now they’re paying the price.
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