Aye robot

In the absence of anything positive to put forward in the way of policies, suggestions, or even pleasantries about the weather, Kezia Dugdale has decided that the way to restore the fortunes of the Labour party in Scotland is to insult all the people who used to vote Labour but don’t any more. That’s folk like me, and quite possibly you. According to Kezia we are “robots that are given a chip and told what to think”. Kezia knows a lot about chips, what with Labour’s definition of well balanced being to have a chip on both shoulders. Or in the case of certain Labour MSPs, a rancid sausage supper drenched in bitter sauce. It does not compute.

Driven to distraction by her weekly drubbing from the Hive Queen in high heels, there’s nothing left for the branch manager of Labour in Scotland except insults. By giving up on the Labour party supporters of independence have also ceased to be properly human, we’ve become microchipped robotic followers of the SNP without the power of critical thought. We’re the cybernats, the Aye Robots. And just to prove the point, hundreds of Twitter users individually sent messages to Kezia with the identical comment: “How dare you say SNP members are robots given a chip and told what to think?!”

Kezia’s definition of critical thought is to constantly criticise the Scottish Government for absolutely everything. What she doesn’t appreciate is that it’s her constant carping that produces a closing of ranks on the aye side. None of us intend giving Kezia the opportunity to go off on one, not when she’s already proven herself so good at finding entirely spurious reasons to do so all by herself. Kezia Dugdale wants to find reasons to criticise the SNP, the Scottish Government, or the independence movement in general, and she’s got a bit of a cheek complaining that yes supporters aren’t doing her job for her.

Kezia’s comments prove only one thing, that the Labour party in Scotland has finally had its chips and has exterminated itself. There’s a country hiding behind the sofa whenever Kezia appears at FMQs, hiding in embarrassment. The new Scottish cringe is the Unionists at Holyrood, they’re embarrassed by their own country and are an embarrassment to it. There are Daleks with a finer grasp of nuance than Kezia Dugdale, there are more sensitive Cylons, Borgs that are better at banter. After screaming SNPbad in a Dalek voice for the past decade and a half, no one is listening any more. Kezia is just voicing her frustration that yes supporters aren’t providing her with SNPbad accusations that might stick. Unfortunately for the Labour party, Scotland’s yes voters have learned that resistance is fertile.

The very same day that Labour was spending FMQs complaining that no one is listening to their complaints about the SNP, a Labour MP was up on an assault charge. Marie Rimmer, Labour MP for St Helens in Merseyside – and former leader of her local council – has been accused of kicking a woman outside a polling station during the independence referendum vote last year. Despite facing a charge of assault, Ms Rimmer is a member of the Justice select committee in Westminster. Ms Rimmer denies all the charges, and is innocent as she has not been convicted of any charge. Our media is treating her appropriately, as an innocent person whose case is yet to be heard before a judge.

There is however a very big but. Despite all the acreage of press coverage devoted to the Michelle Thompson affair, there were no allegations that any illegality had taken place. Yet here we have a Labour MP who is actually up before a judge for allegedly having carried out a violent attack on a woman, and the story scarcely figures in the press. If it had been an SNP MP who was facing a charge of assaulting a No supporter outside a polling station, the story would be the lead item on Reporting Scotland and the headline news in the papers for months to come. It would be cited repeatedly as proof that all independence supporters are violent.

Irrespective of what Kezia Dugdale and the Labour party might like to think it’s certainly not the case that the failings of the SNP are not given prominence in the media. The problem for the Labour party is one of overkill and a lack of balance. When all you hear are the deafening screams that one party is the most evil organisation since SMERSH, and then it turns out that nothing illegal happened, while the party doing the screaming has to face legal charges which get reported in whispered voices, you stop listening.

The only redeeming feature that Kezia possesses is that she’s not Wullie Rennie. Wullie in his wisdom – that’s wisdom in the sense of Norman – decided make the claim that the Scottish Government had broken its promise on student financing, because the Lib Dems have never ever done anything like that. Oooh Mr Grimsdale.

SNPbad is a drug to which Scotland’s voters have become habituated. It doesn’t work any more. SNPbad is Unionist heroin and they’re forced to inject more and more of it into the body politic in the vain hope that it might produce a hit. There’s as much chance of getting a high out of the British state as there is that George Osborne might share whatever it is he’s been taking before making one of his somnambulant appearances in the Commons.

I for one welcome our new robot overlords. The SNP have many faults, but whatever their failings they’re a vast improvement on the sorry bunch of burnt out microchips that pass for brains in the Labour party. Because it’s not like we have no experience of what Labour does when it’s in power – we have Glesca and North Lanarkshire cooncils for that, and last I heard no one was holding them up as shining examples of great government.

The party which lacks humanity is Kezia’s. For too long they’ve practised the politics of positioning like unfeeling robots serving a state that doesn’t care about its people, and now they’re paying the price.

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33 comments on “Aye robot

  1. If the SNP are robots then (Not) Labour must be lemmings…

  2. IndyR says:

    Marvin the Robot (Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy) on decades of Labour control in Scotland, presumably.

    “The first ten million years were the worst,” said Marvin, “and the second ten million years, they were the worst too. The third ten million years I didn’t enjoy at all. After that I went into a bit of a decline.”

    ― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

  3. Keith Hynd says:

    I have been asking my fellow robots to trawl the media outlets to find a mention of the appearance of Marie Rimmer in court today! As yet there does not appear to be any hint of it.Perhaps it may be mentioned during the next session of Westminster’s justice committee!

    • Saor Alba says:

      The Liverpool Echo and the Guido Fawkes blog carry the story Keith. A google search for Marie Rimmer MP may produce other results..

      • Pam McMahon says:

        Apparently this person, who is accused of assaulting a female Yes supporter during the referendum vote last year, has had the case adjourned FOR THE THIRD TIME by the Glasgow Sheriff Court yesterday.

        Still, it gives her more time to sit on the Justice Commitee at Westminster, eh? It’s in yesterday’s Liverpool Echo. Can’t do links.

  4. Saor Alba says:

    Great post again Paul.

    They have cried “wolf” so often that nobody listens any more. The wee lassie is way out of her depth and is becoming totally embarrassing. I have to say that I am now numb to her yapping.

    Loved the reference to “Unionist heroin”. Brilliant stuff.

    Alba gu brath.

  5. Morag says:

    …”one of his somnambulant appearances in the Commons”. Had me running for the dictionary! You never cease to stimulate WGD.

  6. macart763M says:

    Superb again Paul. 🙂

    With apologies to Isaac Asimov

    A politician may not injure a member of their own electorate or, through inaction, allow a constituent to come to harm. A politician must obey orders given it by its electorate except where such orders would conflict with the First Law. A politician must protect its own parliament as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.

    On all three counts Ms Dugdale has failed miserably and should be sent for immediate decommissioning at the soonest ballot opportunity.

  7. BampotsUtd.wordpress.com says:

    Reblogged this on Bampots Utd.

  8. Jon in Chicago says:

    “AyeBots”? Now there’s a bumper sticker. (Whoever trademarks that, please remit my developer’s fee in dollars, euros or pounds. I’m not fussy.)

  9. arthur thomson says:

    ‘ resistance is fertile’ – I like that.

    Very soon Kezia and her chums are going to be too afraid to say anything because whatever they say is taken down and used as evidence against them.

    Vicious cybernats ridiculing them when any normal, cowed Scottish pleb would be properly upset. It just shows what happens when people stop taking their orders from the Labour Party,

  10. Patience is a Virtue says:

    Does not compute! ..superb… (facts and data.K. never make assumptions about anyone or thing). ……even in the ‘robot world’ …some, it seems, are more equal than others:-

    Commanders Edit
    ■Dalek Prime – senior-ranking Dalek. (PROSE: War of the Daleks)
    ■Dalek Supreme – White New Paradigm Dalek seen in Victory of the Daleks
    ■Dalek Supreme Controller – Black Daleks during the 22nd century Dalek invasion, later Red Daleks, second to the Supreme. (AUDIO: “Death to the Daleks!”)
    ■Dalek Inquisitor General – the Supreme Dalek’s Inquisitor General during the Second Dalek War. Dalek X was the best known, if not the only, example (PROSE: Prisoner of the Daleks)
    ■Command Dalek – commander of the Arkheon base. (PROSE: Prisoner of the Daleks)
    ■Dalek Scientific Division – high-ranking, their needs overrode all other orders and concerns in at least two missions. (AUDIO: The Genocide Machine, Return of the Daleks) Daleks Scientists were referred to as being silver and green. (The Dalek Tapes) The Scientist Daleks of the New Dalek Paradigm are ranked by their orange colour scheme. (TV: Victory of the Daleks)
    ■Strategist Dalek – Blue New Paradigm Dalek (TV: Victory of the Daleks)
    ■Eternal Dalek – Yellow New Paradigm Dalek (TV: Victory of the Daleks)
    ■Gold Dalek – high-ranking class and able to take the role of the Supreme Dalek. (TV: Day of the Daleks, Frontier in Space)
    ■Black Dalek – commanding planetary invasions and Dalek operations.
    ■Black Dalek Leader – second-in command of the Emperor.
    ■Dalek saucer commander – designated commander of Dalek flying saucers

    ■Red Dalek – Independent thought allowing some measure of independent action. (PROSE: War of the Daleks)

    ■Blue Dalek – equivalent of non-commissioned officers (PROSE: War of the Daleks)

    Low ranking Daleks Edit
    ■Dalek drone – also known as the Drone Dalek – the basic Time War drones were bronze, while the New Paradigm incorporated both this design and a designs for superiors, which were larger and red in colour.
    ■Dalek puppet – Other beings that have been converted into partial Daleks by the nanocloud.
    ■Special Weapons Dalek – designed solely for combat, lacking the abilities of the standard Dalek.
    ■Marsh Dalek – designed solely for swamp combat.
    ■Spider Dalek
    ■Marine Dalek
    ■Assault Dalek
    ■Human-Daleks – humans altered with the Dalek Factor or Dalek DNA.
    ■Skaro Degradations – Dalek forces used during the Last Great Time War. (PROSE: Engines of War)

    … even K. may be able to spot the free thinker in that list. [obtained from the Internet I might add]… she makes a fatal assumption and categorisation that her opponent is ‘the SNP’ (which is no Baaad thing!) overlooking the equal multitude that also simply support YES and a common goal, from all walks of life – across the country to the north of the North (that Country Labour don’t like to mention)… who are all prepared to question the status quo …and her.

    • Patience is a Virtue says:

      Lest ye forget:-

      Apr 2014 … Lord Robertson says Yes vote would boost West’s enemies and ‘forces of
      darkness’ … Independent Scotland will be more prone to alien attack [select Dalek Saucer Commander from above list] … fortunately! we have Lord Robertson & the House of Lords now to protect us from the EVEL Commons enemy …

    • punklin says:

      You missed out Dalek Salmond – designed to exterminate unionism

      • Patience is a Virtue says:

        If there is such a Dalek, perhaps there may also be an ‘Angry’ version – a pink one, sporting a pink beret and sunglasses, spreading Sexy Socialism across all the No Universe.

  11. mealer says:

    Wee Ginger Dug aka K9

  12. Alistair Gibson says:

    Is this Marie Rimmer Arnold J Rimmer’s maw then?

  13. By the time ah read the blog & comments ma chips went cauld, ah wunder if Kezia could blaw some hot air oan theim

  14. jdman says:

    ” There’s as much chance of getting a high out of the British state as there is that George Osborne might share whatever it is he’s been taking before making one of his somnambulant appearances in the Commons. ”

    You noticed as well?
    the man with the thousand yard stare!

  15. gavin says:

    The NObots know all ! ——-That is f*ck all !

    One Andrew Little, who is to *star* at Kezia’s big Corbynfest, is standing at 8% in the New Zealand polls.
    Yes that’s eight %. His Party is at a poor 31%.

  16. Oneironaut says:

    Can you believe this? They think we’re all robots? What a load of…

    *ERROR!* File “brain.exe” has generated errors and will be closed!
    Rebooting system…
    Loading operating system files…
    File “reality.sys” not found… Loading “daydream.sys” instead…
    Caffeine fuel supplies low, recommending refill as soon as possible…
    System online…

    Sorry folks, must have dozed off for a bit there. Where was I? Oh yeah, they think we’re all robots? What a load of utter rubbish!

  17. Itchybiscuit says:

    You’re not wrong pal.

    Obviously none of the SLabbers were read stories as children. I got the full gamut of Aesop, Anderson and those bad yins, the BG’s (Brothers Grimm).

    The very tale that springs to mind is ‘The Political Party Which Cried ‘SNPBAD!”. It was a sorry tale where the voters at first, listened carefully every time SLab shouted ‘SNPBAD!’. Slowly but surely the voters stopped listening when after hearing the cry ‘SNPBAD!’, nothing much of any note happened. The sky didn’t fall in, the country didn’t sink into the sea and a cup of tea tasted the same as the day before. After years and years of this silly behaviour the voters decided to eat SLab and nobody in Scotland blinked an eye or raised a fuss.

    Sleep well. ;o)

  18. Stevie says:

    In the words of Bender “She can bite my shiny metal A$$”

  19. benmadigan says:

    the “robot” comment reminded me of a very recent Uk govt report about how Sinn fein are controlled by a group of IRA head honchos in a so-called “Army Council”. here’s how one SF Dublin councillor responded https://eurofree3.wordpress.com/2015/10/26/on-hms-sectarian-service/

  20. benmadigan says:

    Ps almost forgot to wish everyone a happy hallowe’en – enjoy the songs https://eurofree3.wordpress.com/2015/10/30/happy-halloween-everyone/

  21. Liz S says:

    What difference does it make whether the all new autonomous Scottish Labour party debate and then perhaps decide they are opposed to renewing Trident.

    To me this is a desperate tactic some spin doctor has devised to try and match an SNP policy on nuclear weapons. It is all very lovely Slab that you MAY decide to vote against the renewal of Trident but in the real world it means Jack shit , just as my opinion and many other voters on this matter means Jack shit also.

    Talk the Talk if you must Slab but please do not think people will be so gullible to think the result of your debate on this will have any influence on what will happen in HOC .Remember Labour MP’s who represent English voters may not be so keen to vote AGAINST renewing Trident , and there lies the problem. Once again we the Scot’s , who house this abomination , will have to pander to another country’s decision and once again we will be treated as second class citizens in this fragmented kingdom.

    The renewal of Trident is going to be voted for at HOC and it is UK MP’s who decide NOT the all new shiny autonomous Scottish Labour.

    Corbyn will not win over his UK MP’s on this.

    Slab are insulting our intelligence in having a pretendy vote on Trident as they are so desperate to emulate SNP policies popular with the voters.

    After watching Keiza on QT I am convinced it is SHE who is the Robot as she seems to be reading from an inbuilt autocue as her delivery is both stilted and very much scripted.

    Think she may need some servicing as her wires appear to be getting crossed and her speech is way too robotic .

  22. douglasclark says:

    I’d guess that Mhairi Black MP knows a lot more about chips than Kezia Dugdale. Just that the former has worked for a living, in a chip shop even, and the latter, not so much. Though four years working for Foulkes probably does qualify you for err., something. Not sure what, right enough.

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