One year on

This is an unashamedly personal post. Thursday is the first anniversary of the death of my partner Andy, an anniversary which is far more personally significant, meaningful, and painful than the anniversary of any political defeat. This time last year, as the independence referendum campaign was reaching its end, the saltires waved and hope was in the air and YES posters plastered windaes, the centre of my life was torn away from me. After a long illness in which each piece of him was removed one by one, the teetering tower of blocks which supported his life finally fell away, and came tumbling down leaving me in the rubble of a life lived together.

Andy’s death was a peaceful one. I was with him at the end and had a chance to make my goodbyes, to bid him farewell, to wish him a safe journey. He passed without leaving me with regrets, without anger, without rancour. That was his final gift to me.

This time last year I was terrified. I’d been with Andy for almost 25 years, and for the previous few years I’d devoted myself to his care. He was the centre of my solar system and without him I was hurtling through the dark depths of deep space, alone and unlit. His death was not unexpected, it came as no surprise, but however much you brace yourself for impact you are still rocked and shocked when it occurs. It still stuns.

The inevitable had happened, the dread day had arrived. Cold, afraid, I suddenly found myself confronted with a life alone. How could I build a life without him? Could I fly solo, could I walk through the darkness unaccompanied, how was I going to make a living, what purpose did I have any more. Where would the centre lie, how to anchor myself, adrift in the vastness of loss. I’d been with him so long, how could I learn to be me without him. Those are the fears that overwhelm, that stalk the nightmares of loneliness.

I started this blog because I was trapped indoors caring for Andy. He suffered from vascular dementia and could not be left unattended. His illness meant that he slowly lost all those parts of himself that had made me fall in love with him all those years ago. I never stopped loving him, but our relationship changed, I ceased to be his partner, and became his carer.

However as I watched him slowly lose his personhood, his gifts and skills, and grieved for him while he still lived, I came to realise that I was losing myself too. Carers give everything, they give of themselves until there’s nothing left. So I started this blog, it gave me a wee island where I could be myself, and I’d sit on the sofa and type on the laptop while Andy sat beside me. Typing for my sanity, typing for myself, typing for a Scotland that lived only in dreams and hopes. What I never realised, lost as I was in the concern of a carer, and then lost in the grief of loss, was that this blog touches others.

One year on and Andy’s loss still hurts, but the raw and bleeding edges of the hole in my heart have scarred and hardened. I miss him, I miss who I used to be be when we were together. But the loss has become a part of me, and I’m learning to live with it. As I wept on that day, dazed and devastated, uncomprehending in the magnitude of grief, I slowly came to realise that there could still be hope, and that’s what kept me going. I can live and love again. I can hope, and I can still dream.

And I have you to thank for that, the readers of this blog, the kind strangers who showed me that there was still a reason to hope, to fight, to go on. You gave me a reason to get up in the mornings, you gave me a purpose. You showed me that a country is a community, a community of care and compassion. With people like you in it, Scotland’s future is assured.

And here we are, a year on, a referendum lost but a country gained. We’re still here, still fighting, still persuading, still arguing, still being. With every word, with every day, we show that another Scotland is possible.

We don’t all agree. After a year it’s clear that the independence movement was always broad coalition of diverse views, distinct voices, and different opinions. We have disagreements, but that’s a good and healthy thing. We are a nation not a political party, but we remain united in the belief that power rests with the people of Scotland, that the best people to decide on the future of this land are those who live here and love here. We remained united in the knowledge that our country’s many problems and issues can only be tackled successfully when we as a nation take collective responsiblity into our own hands and we stand before the world as an equal.

The referendum was not the end, it was only the beginning. One year on and an opinion poll for STV shows that 53% support independence. Once don’t knows are omitted, that rises to 55%. The cause of independence continues to make ground. We’re not there yet, we need to have support consistently over 60% over the course of a few opinion polls before we push for another independence referendum.

But one thing is clearer now than it ever was, our day is coming, the confidence of a people grows, the realisation is made in more and more minds that Scotland unleashed and unchained can only grow and flourish. Scotland is no longer submerged, we’ve come to the surface and we’re breathing the fresh clean air again.

We do this for Andy, we do this for Margo MacDonald, we do for all those who believed in Scotland but are no longer here. We carry them in our memories and we will never forget. We’ll carry them to the independent Scotland that they believed in and fought for. And we do this for our children, we do this for ourselves. It’s happening. We are not afraid any more.

Donate to the Dug This blog relies on your support and donations to keep going – I need to make a living, and have bills to pay. Clicking the donate button will allow you to make a payment directly to my Paypal account. You do not need a Paypal account yourself to make a donation. You can donate as little, or as much, as you want. Many thanks.

Donate Button

90 comments on “One year on

  1. smiling vulture says:

    one year

    feels like 5 years

    andy/margo rest in peace

  2. Bill Hume says:

    My thoughts are with you.
    We go on, we survive and we hope to see our country independent.
    Kindest wishes to you (and the dug).

  3. jcd says:

    Ya dancer x

  4. Aucheorn says:

    I’m glad that we as your community could support you. We carry on the campaigning, the caring, sharing, cos’ that’s what we Scots do.
    I use Scots in the widest sense as those who live and work here whatever their place of birth.

    We all know fellow travellers whose work we carry on when their journey ended.

  5. macart763 says:

    We’re always just a keystroke away and you provided a safe haven for many fellow believers.

    Its been a pleasure visiting with folks on this site.

  6. Tommy Brennan says:

    Sittin here wae tears runnin down my cheeks,Paul….more power tae yer elbow….keep his memory bright.

  7. Scott says:

    Brilliant post. Honest and from the heart.

  8. Maggie Craig says:

    Very moved by your post, Paul. You’ve given so much to the rest of us via your blog.

  9. says:

    What a emotional read Andy is in a better life now and one day you will join him agian for eternal life weather you believe or not or what you belive in this will happen in the mean time keep ur chin up and try and remember the good times you’s had and the laughs what a lucky man Andy was to have such a sincere caring person like you by his side

  10. Jacqueline Gallacher says:

    Your Autumn leaf post when Andy died was so moving, lots of love Paul. x

    • Albaman says:

      Aye, I remember it to Jacqueline, very moving.
      The man has a way with words, which few can use.

  11. whitburnsfinest says:

    Paul, do one thing for me. Go and find that leaf – you know the one – and look at it. There it is, reminding you how far you’ve come. And you in turn remind us of how far we’ve all come. This is going to be a horrible cliche so please forgive me – but I’m sure I can say with confidence that Andy really, truly would be so proud of you. At a time when it would have been so easy – and so understandable – to have given up and crawled into a wee corner and faded away, you didn’t. You fought back, you reached higher, you showed that incredible strength of character that inspired so many of us. And we continue to grow as people and as a nation. You’re a huge part of that. Sending loads of love and hugs xxx

  12. Itchybiscuit says:

    Well that had me in tears you bugger.

    Looking forward to the future accompanied by the ‘Dug’ and the chap who feeds him.

  13. Albawoman says:

    WGD without your great and wise blog we would not be as optimistic as we are at this moment. Thank you so much. I will light a candle for you and Andy this evening

  14. Paul, i don’t hiv any words……….regards,

  15. Keep on being you Paul. Just keep on being you.

  16. Iona says:

    I don’t have the words either but I am thankful every day that you do. Your inspiring blog warms my heart.

  17. Jim Arnott says:

    A very moving and inspirational post Paul.

    It is now 8 1/2 years since my daughter Fiona died (aged 40) and almost exactly 8 years since she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. We were told at the time that “time is the great healer” and I can honestly say that I just couldn’t believe it or take it in. Now, nearly 9 years later, I realise that without “time” I don’t know how, as a family, we could have coped without “the great healer”. Our two grandsons are now 18 and 15. Rowan goes off to Edinburgh University next week and Torin is my technology guru.

    My message to you Paul is just believe that “time really is the great healer”. It does get a wee bit easier. For me, the fact is that, I know how proud Fiona must be looking down on her boys, her husband and, of course, her parents as well.

    Paul, just believe that Andy will be looking down and will be very proud of what you have achieved with your life since that tragic day and most especially your brilliant writing. Paul, count your blessings that you have “time” on your side.

  18. skulamus says:

    Thanks for all your blogs. Greatly appreciated. Nice to know a bit about the person behind them.

  19. Still Positive. says:

    A very eloquent and emotional blog. As a widow of more than 15 years, I can speak from experience that it does get better, much better.

    Thought are with you and the dug.

    RIP Andy and Margo.

  20. Albaman says:

    And when “that” time comes Paul, take the biggest breath in that you ever had, then use the escape of breath to shout “FREEdoooooom”, does not matter where you do it, as long as you get back to your laptop to continue your inspirational blog

  21. Tris says:

    Aye, you made me cry again.

    Best wishes on this, the saddest of anniversaries.

  22. diabloandco says:

    Soggy tissues abound .I suppose time does take away the rawness of grief but there is only a very personal timer.
    Love to you and wee Ginger.

  23. Andy Borland says:

    They say Scotland’s a village; well, this village loves you Paul.

    And it loves what you’ve done & continue to do for the Yes movement.

    Love to the wee dug too 😊

  24. “You gave me a reason to get up in the mornings, you gave me a purpose. You showed me that a country is a community, a community of care and compassion. With people like you in it, Scotland’s future is assured.”

    And your story underlined for us, Paul, the importance of community, and of the need to show compassion for others, at a time when those were (and still are) under severe threat from Westminster. Our lives are richer for having shared a little of yours.

    Today’s opinion poll marks another step towards independence, for us and for all those who have worked so hard for it.

    Did you ever plant that tree you talked of? Maybe the anniversary would be a good time to plant another.

    • weegingerdug says:

      Not yet, I wasn’t ready to. But I am now.

      • tomtumilty says:

        I planted a tree for you and Andy, Paul and it blossomed this year. Like that tree, your post is truly beautiful; it takes a helluva a lot to make a 64 yer old guy, originally from Coatbrig to cry but you’ve managed it (again). Your writing is moving, wise, insightful, honest and brave. Let’s hope that your own personal journey of hope over fear is mirrored soon by our nation.

      • Join in re-planting, one tree at a time, the Forest of Caledon!! Imagine in a few years, if we all plant a tree for a lost loved one, how much of our beloved Scotland could be planted. Ive planted 3 trees in the last 25 years, an Oak, an Ash and an Elm!! Love your blogs Paul keep on keeping on. X

  25. Steve Asaneilean says:

    Like you Paul I lost the person I had shared my life with for 25 years as I watched cancer’s crabby claws steal her away from me.

    Like with you and Andy she died in my arms in our bed.

    It took me two years to feel normal to any extent and to learn to adjust to ny new existence. But I did and I am happy again.

    If this life changing experience taught me anything it taught me this – the worst thing that could have happened to me did and I survived the fallout. As consequence I am not afraid of anything anymore.

    As you say let’s get 60% consistently in favour and let’s show Westminster that as a nation we are not afraid of anything anymore.

  26. jimnarlene says:

    I’m glad you’re doing well, losing someone you care for isn’t easy. I remember reading about it, then going to the service which was a very dignified and human experience.
    Keep up the good work we, and Scotland, need and appreciate you.

  27. Marie Clark says:

    Oh Paul, you seem to have most of in tears today, as we were when Andy died last year. All of us felt for you in your loss.

    But here you are, one year down the line, and doing not too badly. As you say, your heart is healing a wee bit.

    Don’t you dare go and leave us, your blog is an absolute must for all of us. You have kept us going through the loss of the referendum, even though you had your own sorrows. Now there would appear to be light at the end of the tunnel with the new opinion polls going our way. We have to move forward to our independence and the freedom to run our country as we want. Not as how we are told to.

    Scotland is a kind and caring community, we do care about our fellow citizens , and I think we are all the better for that.

    Away and plant your tree Paul now that you feel ready. Our thoughts will be with you as you do.

    Luv to you and the dug.

  28. Ealasaid says:

    My thoughts are with you at this time. And at this time remember the whole Andy as he truly was. The person you loved, laughed and shared your life with for 25 years.

    Let the sad times fade, for they are a very small part of the life you shared. Carry the memory of the whole Andy with you as we travel towards the new Scotland. It is what he would want. Best wishes.

  29. Maureen says:

    My love to you Paul and my deepest thanks. xxx

  30. copperhobnob says:

    For Andy. For Margo. For my dad who would dearly have loved to have lived through the past couple of years of Scottish politics.

    We will get there. One day. And we’ll get there together. Thank you for your blog.


  31. Kathleen Mckechnie Skifjell says:

    So sorry for your loss. Andy was Lucky to share your love and your life. You are a kind and caring person ! 🙂
    Thank you for your continued efforts to free Scotland from this unfair union. Sending you a heart felt hug and a hope for future happened.

  32. Kathleen Mckechnie Skifjell says:


  33. Daisy Walker says:

    Right then, have blown my nose and am drying my eyes as we speak, this one got me on the hop.

    Big hugs and love for you, but most of all Thanks. It gets said by so many of your readers, but I’ll say it again.

    Thank you for wit and your wisdom. Thank you for your ability to put those difficult to describe, but life affirming and important ‘humany type things’ down on paper, and describe them and stand up for them in such clear cut, pithy sentences. Thank you for your anger, always showing up at the right time and in all the right places.

    Your eloquence and generosity of spirit really has been an inspiration and such a breath of fresh air. That you did so in the maelstrom of grief is the epitome of brave.

    Your writing has meant, and continues to mean a huge amount to me, and I see from the comments, many others too. From what you’ve described about Andy, I suspect his influence throughout.

    Take good care of yourself, thinking of you, best wishes.


  34. June Stewart says:

    Love is stronger than death even though it can’t stop death from happening, but no matter how hard death tries it can’t separate people from love. It can’t take away our memories either. In the end, life is stronger than death.
    Wishing you peace and fewer tears.
    Much love to you and the “dug”

  35. Jan Cowan says:

    You are one brilliant writer, Paul. Thank you for all your wonderful articles which have helped to keep us alert and focussed. Much love and good wishes to you and that fine wee ginger dug.

  36. Jan Cowan says:

    PS Please keep up the good work!

  37. Liz White says:

    I’m so sorry for your sad loss, I never knew you had lost your soulmate. I have enjoyed reading your blog, it has made me determined even more to push for Indy.
    I lost my mother to dementia almost 7 years ago and watched as a loving, caring and funny woman was lost a little at a time. I like you grieved for her while she was losing herself a little every day and I, I was losing my mum.
    You learn to cope day by day and cling on to the memories that you made together, the love you shared will never cease to be so take strength from that love and never stop doing what you are doing. You touch so many lives and share your passion with so many of us. You encourage us to keep up the good fight and for that each and everyone of us will be forever grateful.
    Take care and God bless x

  38. Thepnr says:

    My deepest sympathies Paul on the forthcoming anniversary of the death of your partner. I too have recently experienced bereavement and feel what you feel.

    It is natural, we are designed that way by nature, to look after and care for our own. Hence we grieve when they pass.

    Even our closest loved ones though would want us to continue to live and follow the passions we believe in, they would understand that our lives do not end with theirs, but would wish that a part of them lives on in us.

    I believe this to be true.

  39. Wendy says:

    Thank you for doing what you do. I love your work and it really is inspiring and heartwarming. You change lives for the better with every post.

  40. Amanda McGinley says:

    Uch yer a wee doll. You just keep on keeping on, more than once you’ve made my day xx

  41. mumsyhugs says:

    Although those we loved are no longer with us, I’ve learned they will always still be with us as long as they are remembered and talked about and we carry forward the wisdom they gave during the time they spent with us. Our memories are a precious gift from our loved ones.

    Hugs tae the dug and you too Paul 🙂 XXX

  42. Patricia Caird says:

    Like you, Paul, I am emerging from the fire and the flood of grief. Every day different, with one day following a pattern of randomness between almost ‘normal’ [whatever that is] and sheer unadulterated loss: of love and of self and still struggling to maintain an instinctive normality while out in public. There is much in your post that I identify so much with on that path. I lost my husband to cancer three years ago. He was 56, much too young, I felt for Ken to die, and I was far, far, far too young, at 54, to be a widow.

    So I came upon your blog by accident one day and I was hooked. Your passion and joy of living leaps off the pages, probably because you understand the depth of the hole that loss brings. With that insight you see to the heart of a matter and there has been many a morning when I have shared your blog saying ‘The WGD has done it again!’ And I know that others find it on my wall, read and share themselves.

    I try hard to not carry the grief inside me. When we lost our daughter ten years ago, Ken said ‘Don’t carry grief, let it walk beside you. The grief is there but you don’t need to let it grind you down with its weight.’ He was absolutely right then and it is so right now, too.

    I hope you lighten the load of your grief by walking beside it and not carrying it. Ken would want me to do that, and I suspect Andy would too. After all, they loved us too, We must be worthy of it otherwise they would not have loved us. The thought that my love was a two way street is a comfort and a guide. I know Ken would want the best of me to step forward, and I suspect the same goes for Andy. I sometimes, in my head, hear Ken cheer and clap when I have done something ‘right’ and I step lighter in the world, for just a little while. I think Andy would be cheering and clapping your success right now!

    Take care and be kind to yourself.

  43. Paul, I just want to say thank you for having the courage to write your blog in what must have been a very hard and emotional time in your life. Your words always strike a chord within me , this one has done more so than the others! Have faith and know that Andy will always be with you. Maybe not in the physical but definitely within your heart. Thig ar latha

  44. benmadigan says:

    What a great strength of character and spirit you have shown over such a difficult time Paul. Andy must be feeling very proud of you

  45. Moved to tears again. ❤

  46. WRH2 says:

    This has been such a moving read and many tears have fallen. You have touched so many with your writing, don’t think of giving up. We all need your humour and insight as well as this very personal writing; it gives us a sense of who you are. It brings you closer and shows your honesty. It also takes real courage to bare your soul to others. Thank you for sharing this with us.

  47. Anne Roberts says:

    Your blogs are always spot on Paul, and I look forward to them. However I must commend you especially for today’s column as you’ve simply opened your heart to us. You really are (and I know this sounds like an old cliche) an inspiration. Thank you for this and I hope you continue to inform and entertain us with your superb scribblings. Good luck. 👍

  48. christina quarrell says:

    Honour grief
    Engage life

  49. Stephen Coulson says:

    We don’t know each other but thank you for such a moving and generous blog. There is a real power in vulnerability but it takes huge courage to take the chance to share like this. Your blog is consistently excellent in its mix of humour, righteous anger and downright truth. More power to your elbow Wee Ginger Dug and thinking of you and Andy tonight.

  50. Hugh Bryce says:

    Paul. Scots fight and argue, find fault with each other over religion, football and many other things. But when the chips are down we come together against a common enemy for as you said we are a community a village which none can destroy no matter how hard they try. God bless Andy and Margo

  51. Thank you ! What a beautiful and eloquent piece.
    One day soon the spirits of your Andy, Margo McDonald my amazing friends Margo W and Betty and all those others who are mourned and loved will dance in the dawn of an Independent Scotland.

  52. morvenm2014 says:

    Keep going. We need you. xx

  53. Susan says:

    Like many of your readers I cried reading this superb piece, then I cried reading the lovely comments. Thank you all. RIP Margo and Andy.

  54. Archie Kane says:

    You brave, brave man. I’ve gone through it too with my parents but with your life partner it must be hell and pain beyond description. It terrifies me more than I can say the thought that anything bad should happen to him.

  55. Hr Anderson says:

    Thank you Paul for sharin yer hert. 🙂

  56. Saor Alba says:

    You are an absolute inspiration Paul.
    Whitburnsfinest is absolutely spot on. Andy would be so proud of you, as we all are.
    My thoughts are with you at this time and I too am going to plant a tree for you and Andy and the WGD.
    There are many now who are your companions and who you have inspired greatly through your goodness and compassion. Much love,

    Saor Alba

  57. Fillofficer says:

    Paul. Although I’m a regular reader, I missed andy’s passing due to my brothers untimely death. You have once again expressed my innermost feelings & have moved me, as you always do, when I least expect it. My gratitude for that release of emotion & my heartfelt sympathy for you on this first anniversary, the toughest of days. Your gift is much appreciated by us all, I’m sure. Respect

  58. Sasha says:

    What a truly inspirational man you are. The world is a better, brighter, more loving place because of you.

  59. A beautifully moving post Paul. I would never be without reading your inspirational words anymore.

  60. Hazel Smith says:

    Paul, thank you for this very personal blog. To open up your heart like that takes a great deal of courage. I know that Andy managed to get his YES vote in and when we eventually get our Independence, I’m sure he’ll be cheering from above.

  61. Andrew Gordon says:

    Hi Paul,
    New to commenting but not to your blog.
    How brave of you to be so honest with your feelings and convictions.
    I am not even going to compare my situation with yours but I do know terrible loss, but reading your words has made me take a hard look at myself and my current situation and for that I truly thank you.
    Look forward to your posts in future, always thought provoking and on more than many occasions raises a very large smile !!

  62. mealer says:

    I think the whole experience of the referendum campaign made me a more tolerant,understanding,broad minded and generally better person.You played a big part in that,Paul.I thank you.I’m proud of you and I wish you all the very best.

  63. ockletycockletywitch says:

    My heart goes out to you, Paul. Two years ago in late August I lost my beloved Mum and six weeks later my wonderful, funny, handsome Dad followed her. They were my dearest friends as well as my parents and after sharing our lives for 60 years, I too was bereft and bewildered by their deaths. Reading your work and sharing your view on matters related to Scotland’s independence helped to keep me sane during the darkest days – so thank you, too, Paul. Alba gu brath!

  64. ElaineS says:

    I’m wiping tears away as l remember your loss of Andy and your pain. My thoughts were with you then and now. I thank you Paul for your wonderful blogs which l have shared with pleasure. Big hugs x

  65. Johnny come lately says:

    I’ve always had the belief that everything happens for a reason. I remember a quote from the bible in which god said ”for nothing happens by chance”.

    My lifes experience has been that the events in my life which i viewed as personal tradigies or personal disasters have in fact been turning points in my life. A little like lifes corners. When I look back (which I have done often) I think, if this hadn’t happened then that wouldn’t have happened, and I would still be there doing such and such.

    Like yours, my personal tradigies and disasters in life stung like hell at the time, but in a perverse way I’m so glad that they have happened otherwise I wouldn’t be where I am now, doing what I am now. Life really has its ironies sometimes.

  66. fionn says:

    Keep on keeping on. If not for your own sanity then for ours. Big love.

  67. Adam Jeal says:

    Hi Paul, I’m new to commenting on here, but I’ve been reading your articles for a while now. I’d just like to say that these words are beautiful & moving. You’ve made me laugh out loud over the last few months with your razor-sharp wit and moved me with your deep compassion for your fellow human beings.

    All the best – Keep on being you! 🙂

  68. When the assets of Scotland are spoken about, the one I believe is most important is only rarely mentioned. It’s people. In that respect, it’s great wordsmiths like you Paul that keep me going, to what I hope will be our eventual destination, independence.

  69. Grizzle McPuss says:

    With you all the way Paul.

    Keep on going with your inspiration, humour and honest to goodness critique of the status of our lives under this degrading and destructive Union.

    May your laptop never run out of power.

  70. Clicky Steve says:

    Great post. I really appreciate your blog – it’s one of the few I read every day. Your words are always poetic and inspiring. I’m glad you’ve been able to bring together and find a community like this on Please keep doing what you’re doing.

  71. Luigi says:

    Thanks for sharing this – your work is a constant source of inspiration and comfort to so many people. Don’t stop! We have all been there, the pain of losing a loved one is, unfortunately, part of the human experience. I hope and pray you get through this difficult time and come out stronger.

    Paul, I am very upset and angry today. I just saw those awful images of the wee boy washed up on a beach in Turkey. If people saw the state of the war-torn streets and homes these people are fleeing from, they would understand why they are so desperate. Normal, human people, with human values, that is, not the de-humanised, power-hungry corporate monsters that lurk in Westminster and the White House. Those evil people that caused these disasters through many an ill-thought, imperialist foreign policy of intervention, backed up by drones and missiles with shock and awe. The same monsters that allow their Saudi dictator friends free reign to stir up division and havoc across the middle east. They say evil reigns when good men and women choose to ignore it. If people do not respond to those images of the wee lad on a beach, then they will respond to nothing.

  72. Dear Paul;
    All that can be said – has been said. I can only add that my thoughts are with you – and for you.

    You have done so much for Scotland: informed us, energised us and so often focused our minds on the truth and, so often dragged us from the ‘Slough of Despond’ with your scathing passion and humour.
    You have certainly given unstintingly to us. While on the subject of giving…..I’ve been trying (all morning to donate to the Dug, but can’t cut through the cybersystem: I promise, I will keep trying.

    Iain Dubh.

  73. Mark says:

    “Carers give everything, they give of themselves until there’s nothing left.”
    Very true.

  74. arthur thomson says:

    Thank you for sharing this with me Paul. My heart is with you and Andy. You were lucky men to have shared such a love. At moments like this I am always reminded of Rabbie’s words in Ae fond kiss.

    Like Luigi I am hurt too by the image of that wee boy. The lust for power of others has meant that that wee soul never got the chance to feel what you and Andy shared. At this time of your grief I know that you have grief to spare for that wee boy.

  75. Paul as ever a truly wonderful piece of writing , amazing that you can remain so eloquent and compassionate in your grief. You thank us but I truly thank you for both the tears and the laughter over these past months they have been part of all our growth and learning in this wonderful community of ours soon to be our own nation again.

  76. Margo Sharp says:

    Vision still blurred by tears. That was a lovely piece, makes me feel very humble.
    Stay strong, keep writing there are a lot of us out here with you.

  77. Izzie says:

    You have given me the courage to dream on. God bless

  78. Jenny Compton-Bishop says:

    Deepest sympathy to you comrade. And thank you for brightening my day with your astute observations,


  79. Neil Anderson says:

    Paul. You are we and we are you. I cannot thank you enough for your support. Much love from Borrheed. Neil xx

  80. Aye Paul its a long time since the Rain in Carntyne.but such is life, the Sun always shines through. You have shone light in so many areas. Long may your Rays Shine.

  81. exiled scot says:

    Like you I have just past a milestone.For me it is now 11 years since I lost the centre of my world, suddenly and without warning I was on my own after 28 yrs at the age of 46. the pain never goes but it becomes easier to deal with. none of my grandchildren are old enough to remember her but they know who she was and how loved she is and thats what matters
    Keep on doing what you do , for him, for everyone and most of all for you.

  82. […] stories of regular people like Paul Kavanagh who find their voice, establish a following, or build a community with a simple […]

Comments are closed.