The evil Tories have had to make an evil delay to their evil EVEL plans. Not because they’ve suddenly realised that it’s evil to make major constitutional changes through the back door of a procedural amendment which turns the people of Scotland into second class citizens with second class political representation in the Better Together on the Back Seat Parliament, they’re actually pretty mellow with that entire concept. In fact ensuring that Scotland is marginalised, castrated, and side lined is pretty much what the Conservative Scottish policy consists of. This has been the case since the days of Maggie Thatcher, and nothing much has changed ever since. The Tories don’t do democracy as far as Scotland is concerned. Scotland is a problem, not a partner nation in a union.
But then common morality and basic decency doesn’t rank high in the Conservative agenda either. These are after all people who think it’s perfectly acceptable to make a raped woman prove to a faceless pen-pusher in the job centre that she’s been raped so that she can get benefits for a child who is a product of that rape. This is despite the fact that most rapes go unreported, that women who have been raped find it immensely difficult to talk about the hell that they have gone through, or that an untrained benefits clerk who has been told to refuse payments to as many claimants as possible has zero experience in dealing with the trauma faced by a rape survivor and moreover has an incentive for not believing her. Given that the Tories have plumbed those depths of moral decreptitude and yet think it’s perfectly acceptable, screwing over Scotland’s constitutional rights is but a minor infringement in the cosmic ledger of good and evil. These are some pretty sick puppies we’re talking about here. And all the sicker for not realising just how sick in the heads they are.
So it’s not for any high minded reasons that EVEL has been delayed. Oh no, it’s for the purely practical reason that Cameron’s little bunch of minion monkeys don’t think they’ll get sufficient support from their own side to turn Scotland into a second class part of the UK. Some Tory monkeys have been throwing poo at the idea. And this is not because these Tory opponents have a moral stance against turning the screws on Scotland, the Tory opponents are quite happy to screw Scotland over because they read the Daily Mail too. It’s just that besides wanting to screw over Scotland, they also fetishise the Westminster Parliament and don’t want to make any changes to its arcane procedures at all. Not even changing the menu in the café. Some people really do believe that a Victorian pretendy idea of a mediaeval parliament really is the best way to run a 21st century country.
So the Government has retired to make a few tweaks to its EVEL proposals, and doubtless to make a few private inducements to some of the more reluctant members of the Tory party. You know, like holding up a wriggling white weasel and telling the MP concerned that it’s just waiting to be killed, skinned and turned into ermine robes. And all they need to agree to is to kill and skin Scotland’s chances of ever participating in this misbegotten Union as an equal partner. This is how constitutional amendments get made in a state without a written constitution. There is no principle involved, just what the governing party in Parliament can get away with. And Labour and the Lib Dems campaigned for us to remain a part of this system, so cheers for that.
EVEL, like psychotic killing robots, will be back, although unlike Arnie Swartzenegger it won’t have morphed into the good guy in the sequel, although – like most sequels – it will be even more tedious and predictable the next time round.
Meanwhile Kezia Dugdale, candidate branch office manager of the Labour party in Scotland, has called on the SNP to set out how they propose to defend Scotland from the evil Tories. Kezia clearly has been far too busy screaming SNP bad to listen to anything that the SNP have ever had to say, because the SNP were not, as everyone except Kezia recalls, the ones who wanted us to remain a part of a state where we’d get Conservative governments despite the fact that the party only has one MP in Scotland.
Perhaps Kezia inhabits a universe in which the SNP spent the referendum campaign trying to persuade Scotland that we were Better Together with the risk of a majority Tory government that voters in Scotland didn’t elect, but it’s certainly not the one the rest of us inhabit. Back in this universe, as opposed to the Labour press release universe, the SNP propose to defend Scotland from Tory governments that we didn’t elect by ensuring that we never ever have a Tory government, or indeed any government, that we didn’t elect ever again. We can do that if we have independence, because if you are an independent nation then you get the government that people vote for at elections, and not the one a neighbouring country has voted for. This is a policy position which benefits from impeccable logic, something that you can never accuse the Labour party in Scotland of possessing.
Kezia wants the SNP to say how they will use the powers of Holyrood to mitigate the damage the Tories are wreaking, when it was Kezia’s party which bent over backwards to ensure that Holyrood doesn’t have any substantive powers to protect Scotland from Tory economic policy. It’s like giving someone a 20 year old computer with a knackered floppy disk drive, and then getting annoyed with them because they keep getting beat at Grand Theft Auto. Labour deliberately made sure that Holyrood had unusable tax powers precisely so they could moan about them not being used. It was all a part of the con trick that the party has played on the people of Scotland for decades, only now they’re complaining because we’ve seen through them.
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