Stalling the EVEL minion monkeys

The evil Tories have had to make an evil delay to their evil EVEL plans. Not because they’ve suddenly realised that it’s evil to make major constitutional changes through the back door of a procedural amendment which turns the people of Scotland into second class citizens with second class political representation in the Better Together on the Back Seat Parliament, they’re actually pretty mellow with that entire concept. In fact ensuring that Scotland is marginalised, castrated, and side lined is pretty much what the Conservative Scottish policy consists of. This has been the case since the days of Maggie Thatcher, and nothing much has changed ever since. The Tories don’t do democracy as far as Scotland is concerned. Scotland is a problem, not a partner nation in a union.

But then common morality and basic decency doesn’t rank high in the Conservative agenda either. These are after all people who think it’s perfectly acceptable to make a raped woman prove to a faceless pen-pusher in the job centre that she’s been raped so that she can get benefits for a child who is a product of that rape. This is despite the fact that most rapes go unreported, that women who have been raped find it immensely difficult to talk about the hell that they have gone through, or that an untrained benefits clerk who has been told to refuse payments to as many claimants as possible has zero experience in dealing with the trauma faced by a rape survivor and moreover has an incentive for not believing her. Given that the Tories have plumbed those depths of moral decreptitude and yet think it’s perfectly acceptable, screwing over Scotland’s constitutional rights is but a minor infringement in the cosmic ledger of good and evil. These are some pretty sick puppies we’re talking about here. And all the sicker for not realising just how sick in the heads they are.

So it’s not for any high minded reasons that EVEL has been delayed. Oh no, it’s for the purely practical reason that Cameron’s little bunch of minion monkeys don’t think they’ll get sufficient support from their own side to turn Scotland into a second class part of the UK. Some Tory monkeys have been throwing poo at the idea. And this is not because these Tory opponents have a moral stance against turning the screws on Scotland, the Tory opponents are quite happy to screw Scotland over because they read the Daily Mail too. It’s just that besides wanting to screw over Scotland, they also fetishise the Westminster Parliament and don’t want to make any changes to its arcane procedures at all. Not even changing the menu in the café. Some people really do believe that a Victorian pretendy idea of a mediaeval parliament really is the best way to run a 21st century country.

So the Government has retired to make a few tweaks to its EVEL proposals, and doubtless to make a few private inducements to some of the more reluctant members of the Tory party. You know, like holding up a wriggling white weasel and telling the MP concerned that it’s just waiting to be killed, skinned and turned into ermine robes. And all they need to agree to is to kill and skin Scotland’s chances of ever participating in this misbegotten Union as an equal partner. This is how constitutional amendments get made in a state without a written constitution. There is no principle involved, just what the governing party in Parliament can get away with. And Labour and the Lib Dems campaigned for us to remain a part of this system, so cheers for that.

EVEL, like psychotic killing robots, will be back, although unlike Arnie Swartzenegger it won’t have morphed into the good guy in the sequel, although – like most sequels – it will be even more tedious and predictable the next time round.

Meanwhile Kezia Dugdale, candidate branch office manager of the Labour party in Scotland, has called on the SNP to set out how they propose to defend Scotland from the evil Tories. Kezia clearly has been far too busy screaming SNP bad to listen to anything that the SNP have ever had to say, because the SNP were not, as everyone except Kezia recalls, the ones who wanted us to remain a part of a state where we’d get Conservative governments despite the fact that the party only has one MP in Scotland.

Perhaps Kezia inhabits a universe in which the SNP spent the referendum campaign trying to persuade Scotland that we were Better Together with the risk of a majority Tory government that voters in Scotland didn’t elect, but it’s certainly not the one the rest of us inhabit. Back in this universe, as opposed to the Labour press release universe, the SNP propose to defend Scotland from Tory governments that we didn’t elect by ensuring that we never ever have a Tory government, or indeed any government, that we didn’t elect ever again. We can do that if we have independence, because if you are an independent nation then you get the government that people vote for at elections, and not the one a neighbouring country has voted for. This is a policy position which benefits from impeccable logic, something that you can never accuse the Labour party in Scotland of possessing.

Kezia wants the SNP to say how they will use the powers of Holyrood to mitigate the damage the Tories are wreaking, when it was Kezia’s party which bent over backwards to ensure that Holyrood doesn’t have any substantive powers to protect Scotland from Tory economic policy. It’s like giving someone a 20 year old computer with a knackered floppy disk drive, and then getting annoyed with them because they keep getting beat at Grand Theft Auto. Labour deliberately made sure that Holyrood had unusable tax powers precisely so they could moan about them not being used. It was all a part of the con trick that the party has played on the people of Scotland for decades, only now they’re complaining because we’ve seen through them.

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19 comments on “Stalling the EVEL minion monkeys

  1. Is she thick. Sorry my flabber is ghasted in incomprehension of her logic?

  2. WRH2 says:

    I know in the context it won’t work so well, but ermine is a stoat’s winter coat not a weasel’s. Same family as far as I can remember just even bigger. But if you’ve ever seen one really close up, especially when they spot potential dinner, you would see the likeness to Tories. They don’t let anything out of their grasp but stoats at least have an excuse. They don’t know where the next meal is going to come from so with them it’s not just pure greed.

    • Marconatrix says:

      Ah! Beat me to it. A weasel will not blanch however cold the winter. The ermine OTOH is a stoatally different beast. Tories are different again, having been compared to the ferret, which is of course “a semi-house-trained polecat”.

  3. […] Stalling the EVEL minion monkeys. […]

  4. macart763 says:

    Nice one Paul.

    Yeah, clocked that piece in the Herald and Stu has popped a post in over on Wings.

    Just mind bending logic from Kezia Dugdale. Of course even in her own statement she apparently hasn’t spotted the unicycling pachyderm waving a banner with a big arrow pointing at the word mitigate.

    It seemingly hasn’t occurred to Ms Dugdale that a population shouldn’t have to ‘mitigate’ the worst decisions of their own central government via a devolved administration and budget handout. The job of a central government is to model an economy based on the specific requirements and needs of its entire population. It should take into account geography, infrastructure, the skills/talents base, level of education, resources and a host of other variables and custom build a model accordingly which serves all those in the governments care and attempts to fulfil those requirements and aspirations.

    But no, we have to mitigate, offset, buffer, protect our populace from its own central government? It blows apart the whole concept of ‘Better Together’, of devolution, of a union of equals. Then of course there was Eds well publicised stance on working with the SNP… Nuh uh, no way, no how, no gonnae happen,nut a chance, Oh Huh HELL NO. Ed would rather a Conservative govt. than do any deal with the SNP. That would be Kezia’s gaffer as was, with whom we’re fairly sure Kezia was in full agreement with the whole party line. Well they both got all their wishes. They have Scotland still shackled to the political union, they don’t have to work with the dastardly SNP and they got the Conservative govt. of their dreams.

    You’d think they’d be happy.

    Nae pleasin’ some folk.

    • Steve Asaneilean says:

      Beat me to it Macart. (Not) Labour told us that we’d be better off being Better Together – pooling and sharing and all that pish.

      Sadly they had 13 years in Government to prove it but failed miserably.

      As you point out why should one country in a union have to mitigate itself against the effects of its central government?

      It’s like ask a woman to stay with an abusive partner and asking her to mitigate the consequences of the abuse herself. What kind of advice would that be to offer?

      And you are also right about Kezia. It was her former UK leader that told everyone in Scotland that rather see Cameron imposed on us than work with the SNP in any way at all.

      What was Scotland’s response? The higest percentage of the Scottish vote achieved by any party for two generations. And guess what? It wasn’t (Not) Labour. So what does that tell you?

      Finally, when are we going to accept that the idea that the UK is a democracy is a myth?

      • macart763 says:

        Not much longer I shouldn’t think Steve. A couple more public slaps in the kisser along the lines of the Scotland bill debates should do it and there’s any number of constitutional bear traps in the offing for the HoC and HoL to get all hot and bothered about. It’ll give them the chance to flex their muscles and generally act like they always do where Scotland is concerned. At that point its just down to polling and timing. The magic number is anywhere between 55-60%. If private and public polling starts to return those numbers watch the FM and wait for fireworks.

        I’d very much doubt the current arrangement will see out a decade at the outside and you could put good money on it being a great deal sooner than that. 😉

      • benmadigan says:

        so much to agree with Paul, Macart and Steve. I posted this on the opening day of the GE2015 campaign – got a lot wrong as you can see but i got some things right –

        the songs are indicative of Westminster government’s attitude,

        we might as well have a national coalition government for all the good labour MPs are in opposition


        1) thwarts Welsh, Irish and Scottish nationalism

        2) proves that independence will never be tolerated

        3) shows that England and Westminster come first

        4) shows Scots, Welsh and Irish that Westminster wants to keep the land areas but not the actual people

        5) ends Westminster’s con trick regarding democracy

  5. mary docherty says:

    Spot on !!!

  6. The response to Dugdale should be ‘You first’.

  7. fillofficer says:

    that last paragraph….amen
    nowt else required

  8. Jack Beck says:

    I think you may mean the 3rd last para?

  9. Steve Asaneilean says:

    Slightly O/T but I see Jeremy Corbyn is being attacked from within the (Not) Labour party.

    Apparently an internal group, the self-avowed right wing of the party Labour First, is calling on all constituency Labour parties to effectivel gang up on Jeremy in an anyone but Jeremy stance.

    They say that electing Jeremy, who stands for traditional Labour values, would make them unelectable (although it seems to me they already achieved that without any help from Jeremy).

    With the values that (Not) Labour now espouse who will do anything for the 40% in this country who have little or nothing, who are in debt, who struggle to feed and clothe their family, who can’t afford to keep warm in winter.

    Whilst I didn’t agree with his stance on the indyref Owen Jones’ book The Establishment is well worth a read to see how far (Not) Labour fell.

  10. David Agnew says:

    Personally i think that the mindset of “Best of Both worlds”, “UKOK” and “Bettertogether” was built around a massive conceit. The conceit was simply that it was all conditional on Labour winning in 2015. They genuinely could not believe that they could lose to David Cameron. It was the same infantile logic that led them to believe that they could never lose against the SNP in Holyrood.

    The referendum was not an election. It was a public consultation. It should not have been fought as an election. That was labours biggest mistake. The general election showed that the SNP had barely 20% of the vote. The first indyref polls showed that the vote split practically three ways. Clearly the issue crossed normal party boundaries. But labour chose to make this about the SNP vs the Unionist parties. And anyone who voted yes, clearly was an SNP voter. Had to be. No labour voter in his right mind would vote SNP after all…right?

    Labour needlessly and recklessly alienated such a huge slice of its vote and gifted it to the SNP. As did the lib dems. The Tories? well they’ve been coasting on their core vote that’s been shrinking since 1965 and shows no signs of stopping. But there were quite a few from there that also voted yes.

    Yet despite all that. Labour in Scotland still does not get it. It has absolutely no self awareness of how it ended up in this situation and is still playing these stupid games. It’s driving a wedge between itself and the votes it lost. It can’t articulate anything to win these people over. Now it demands a Scottish Government say how it will mitigate the policies of a UK government, that labour itself said it would rather see in power than work with the SNP. McDougall is still in post casting snide asides from the wings. Foulkes is advising Kezia on how to be irrelevant. Murphy wants Councillors and failed MPs to be MSPs. The daily record is reaching new heights in stupidity by trashing Scotland’s reputation within the union by lazily conflating it with Greece. William Rennie still thinks he is relevant. Ruth Davidson thinks more tax cuts paid by even more austerity will save her party from extinction. Various folk who voted no think the odious debt that is Scotland’s share of the UK deficit, is the reason we must stay in the union.

    British politics has failed massively in Scotland. It’s answer to the dilemma it finds itself in?

    Keep talking pish.

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