Oh god. Ma heid. Ma second class representation in the Westminster Parliament. Is there such as thing as syrup of figs for a blocked devolution settlement? Being Scottish in the UK feels like waking up with a 300 year hangover. The groggy recollection that you did some really bad things with India and Africa, the slowly dawning realisation that you’ve got bugger all to show for it, and the growing awareness that you have, in fact, been taken for a complete mug. The things you’ve done and the place you’re in now are not who you really are. There’s an immense mismatch between how you see yourself and how your drinking companion sees you, the one who’s been poncing off you for years and filling your head with crap. And you believed it. It’s cringe-making.
Scotland sees itself as a country. Because that’s what we are. Instinctively we compare ourselves with other small countries like Denmark or Finland. Scottish people do this even without thinking about it. It is ingrained deep within us that we are a country and a nation. And the consequence of being a country and a nation is that it makes us a unit of sovereignty. Even many people who voted No last year share this view. It’s for Scotland and her people to decide whether we remain within the UK or not. We’re a unit of sovereignty and have sovereign right to decide our own future.
The Westminster Parliament doesn’t see us like we see ourselves. That’s why Westminster’s refusal to take on board the wishes of the vast majority of Scotland’s elected representatives feels like a slap in the face. We already knew we were facing rejection, but rejection still hurts even when you were expecting it. Westminster’s braying Tories and ignorant Labourites don’t look upon Scotland see a sovereign nation. They look to the north and they see us as a problematic region which formerly returned a block of Labour MPs as reliably as an alkie turns to a Buckie bottle.
Scotland had a minor supporting role in the Westminster chorus, but now we’re singing a different tune. Scotland has sobered up, we’re looking at the empty glass and we’re just not parliamentary fun any more. We can no longer be relied upon, no longer be trusted to play our part in the game. We’re Westminster’s alcoholic pal who has given up the drink and discovered politics instead, and that means we’re boring and tedious and need to be side lined and silenced. Scotland has discovered that the stories of a union of equals, a partnership, they were only ever that. Stories to tell over an opened bottle to a hauf cut drunk who could be relied upon not to remember.
Tim Farron has grasped this. He wants to silence the sobered up Scotland. Tim wants to become leader of what’s left of the Lib Dems, which is a bit like wanting to lead the 7th Cavalry after the Battle of the Little Big Horn only with Alistair Carmichael’s refusal to resign as a last stand. Tim’s got a well thought out Scottish policy. It’s : “SNP bad, SNP very bad, SNP practically Nazis but I’m not actually going to say the N word because then my poverty of ideas becomes painfully apparent even to the Scottish media.”
On Saturday Tim gave an interview to the Herald in which he said that nationalism can be progressive when it’s getting crapped on from a great height, but when it’s ascendant it’s always borderline fascist – or just plain outright let’s go and invade Poland. Tim wants to ensure that Scottish nationalism remains a progressive force by continuing to crap on it from a great height. So he’s doing us all a favour really. He’s joined in his favour doing by Labour and the Tories, none of whom have the slightest idea of what to do about this newly conscious Scotland except repeat the mantra of SNP bad and hope that in despair we will return to the bottle.
It’s not going to happen. We woke up. We briefly glimpsed a vision of what could be. We learned what hope felt like. We discovered that things don’t have to be the way that our masters in the corridors of power in London want them to be. We discovered the radical notion that a country could be run for the benefit of its citizens and not for the benefit of banks and big business. It’s a sweeter taste than wine.
The Tim Farrons and the Davie Camerons and the faceless drone devoid of personality who will inherit the Labour mantle are the mental giants into whose hands Scotland’s No voters surrendered the country on 18th September last year. These are the people whose meanness of spirit and narrowness of vision constrict our future like a vice. They offer us nothing but a return to the Buckie and buksheesh of Westminster, their brain death and corruption.
Now I know it’s not fashionable to criticise No voters, on account of the fact that we need to persuade them to vote Yes if Scotland is ever to get away from the likes of Tim and live in a universe which involves joined up thinking and grown up politics. However I can’t help but tell the No voters I know that all this rubbish, these insults, this disdain and contempt, it is all because you were suckered, because you were taken in, because you lost your nerve, because you were tricked into drinking a deep draught from the Buckie bottle. That’s why we suffer the cuts and wounds of a Tory government. That’s why anyone has to take Michael Gove seriously instead of entering him in Britain’s Got Talent as a goldfish lookalike. I’m sorry about this, but that’s the bottom line. No voters made a call in September based upon lies and deceit, and now we all have to suffer the consequences. But we can all feel better about ourselves by blaming the Daily Record for not caring about the difference between Labour lies and news.
It’s not too late to redeem things. There is still hope of change. We can still dream of a better life and a better country. It’s coming, there’s still time to say yes to hope.
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