An update to yesterday’s blog post

I just thought I’d post a brief update to yesterday’s blog post. The young gay man has contacted me to say that he’s now staying with a relative. Things were pretty rocky with his brother, but he’s in a safe place now and wanted to let me know that he’s no longer at any risk.

He also wanted to say that yesterday’s blog post and all the supportive comments left in reply had really boosted his spirits at a time when he was feeling very low and vulnerable. Your solidarity at such a difficult time for him has meant a great deal.

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39 comments on “An update to yesterday’s blog post

  1. Whitburnsfinest says:

    Paul, thank you so much for updating us! My stomach was on spin cycle for most of yesterday and last night.

    And since the young lad is reading the blog and comments, I just want to say: I’m so glad you’re in a safe place. I hope that now you can go ahead, achieve your dreams and be who you really are, in the knowledge that there are thousands of us cheering you on. As for your brother…..meh, it’s his loss. He deserves only pity. Please imagine some auld wumman in sunny(!) Whitburn giving you a massive online hug. Because that’s what I’m doing right now. All the best for the future🙂

  2. mumsyhugs says:

    No-one should live in fear – so glad this young man has found a place of safety and sanctuary at this difficult time for him. Well done Paul.

  3. alharron says:

    I nearly burst into tears reading this. I’m so relieved you’re doing ok. I tend to get a bit over-emotional when it comes to family situations. I wish you all the best in the future.

  4. Tony Goldie says:

    I’m glad to hear that young man is safe for now. It’s a long road he is on, and it sounds as though it will be rough.

    Many of us have come a long way since the dark days of state imposed homophobia, where being gay was a criminal offence. I would expect these attitudes to linger on the older generation, less so in the younger generation. The brother’s letter to you kind of blows preconceived notion out of the water.
    Even within the independence movement and the SNP itself there are some who still adopt that dark age mentality. Sophia Coyle, an SNP councillor who has been nominated to be a list MSP made some comments which are entirely out of step with the modern SNP in an interview a few years back;
    “Sanctity of Marriage – We then moved on to the area of marriage and human sexuality. Sophia was of the view that the state had now recognised same sex unions as ‘civil partnerships’ and that she would not support any move to make these unions, ‘marriages’ since she believed that marriage was something that existed between a man and a woman. She also indicated that she is not in favour of homosexual partners being given the right to foster and adopt. She confirmed that had she been in the Scottish Parliament when this Bill was going through she would have voted against her party whip to oppose it.

    She also indicated fundamental concerns with the sex education teaching within schools and was concerned about the promotion of homosexuality in schools where parental concerns are not taken seriously.”
    No matter how much education and enlightenment there is in society, there will always be some who are willing to hold on to views that the majority find distasteful. Its bad enough that these people exist in society, but the thought they could be in positions of power is extremely worrying.

    • hektorsmum says:

      I am no longer young but I hope I am accepting. I know of two children who are extremely lucky to be no longer in care (CARE?) with two Daddies looking after them. They will no longer be the wee ones I knew but will be coming up for teenagers. One Dad had been in care himself so knew what sort of lives children have, his partner is one of the nicest people I have ever met. They were fortunate that the parents were accepting of their relationship and surely it is about time people were.

  5. WRH2 says:

    I’m pleased to hear the young man is being cared for by relatives who are accepting and understanding. I wish him all the best for the future and I’m sure he’ll be able to put this behind him and move on.

  6. macart763 says:

    Wishing the young fella all the very best.

    Be yourself.🙂

  7. Margaret Anderson says:

    So glad to hear this. Please let the young man know that there are many of us thinking of him and wishing him well – some of us are even that ‘older generation’.

  8. Anne Lawrie says:

    I am so glad the young man is in a place of safety. I was concerned about him yesterday. He should take great comfort from the fact that so many readers of the WGD support and sympathise with him. Some day the population of our wee country will look back on these dark times with horror.
    The only time in my long life I have been discriminated against was as a young left-handed child being forced to write with my right hand. My whole class was encouraged to watch me and report any misdemeanours. I was bullied and ridiculed. Now I take comfort from the fact that had I been born 100 years earlier, I would probably have been burned at the stake.
    This young man should rejoice that we live in more enlightened times and the dinosaurs among us will gradually realise the error of their ways, and judge people by their kindness, compassion, and their contribution to our society.

    • Brian Fleming says:

      Anne, i think it would have had to be a bit more than 100 years ago…. But your main point I can identify with. I only ‘came out’ as left-handed at the age of 27, having been forced into right-handedness at school. That stupidity did enormous damage to lots of people. I imagine the anti-gay damage is even more fundamental. but then most people ´probably think the left-handed thing is a bit of a joke. It ain’t.

  9. […] An update to yesterday’s blog post […]

  10. Paul Garbett says:

    Like many others I was alternately moved and appalled by the original post and, also like many others, feared for this young man. Thank you for the update and, if you are reading, I hope the main character understands that there are many who support him

  11. Jan Cowan says:

    Great to hear good news.

  12. bobsinclair2014 says:

    I do hope the young man concerned knows that he can count on the support of the many people who read WGD.

  13. Grizzle McPuss says:

    And let the message go out that the extreme minority don’t speak for the engaged, tolerant and accepting majority.

    Live & let live, with diversity as the undisputed winner.

  14. Yep. Glad things have worked out OK for the lad.
    Hopefully he’ll draw strength from the support he received here.

  15. Gavin C Barrie says:

    Being a brother, or sister, doesn’t confer any unchallengeable rights in relation to how you treat your siblings. So if the the young lad’s brother cannot/will not try to understand his sexuality, then the lad needs to recognise that and move on with his life.

  16. mogabee says:

    There are a lot of good people out there, and judging by the comments I reckon you manage to attract them Paul, which says a lot about how much you are respected!

    To the young man..bon voyage

  17. Saor Alba says:

    Thanks for the update Paul.
    My best wishes to you and the young man in question. I am glad he is in a safer place. Please keep us updated on your pension problem. It may be that we all need to rally round.

  18. Hazel Smith says:

    Thank you for the update Paul. So glad this young man is safe.

  19. katherine hamilton says:

    As all the above. See Life! Well, go get’m son. Well done Paul for opening the lad out to a caring community. By the way I’m older than the Dug, so all up and down the ages, we love you.

  20. squidgybidge says:

    Good to hear that he is safe.

    On a positive note Scotland is slowly changing. Unrelated to this piece, I had a conversation with my 13 year old boy today and he was telling me that 2 of his class mates are open amongst their peers about their sexuality. I can’t remember the specifics, but one is openly gay and the other is openly bi-sexual. Obviously they are still kids, becoming adults, so it may be sexual confusion or it may be reality as they come to know thier bodies better, either way it doesn’t matter. The point though is none of the other teens in his class give a damn what sexuality they are, they are acceptant of them no matter what.

  21. Albawoman says:

    Good news. Many thanks.

  22. jimnarlene says:

    Good news.

  23. Adam Reid says:

    Glad to hear they are safe. I wish them the best. Its sad that homophobia still persists in Scotland but this has made me want to double my effort to rid us of it. No one should have to live in fear.

  24. Amy says:

    I hope the young man realises that we are all just human beings. Sexuality should never be a factor. You’re born how you’re born. If others can’t deal with that it’s their problem, not yours.
    Paul, you’re an inspiration to many and reading your posts makes make me laugh out loud. Thank you. x

  25. douglasclark says:


    Forty odd years ago, I would have at least listened to his brothers case. It has been a long and difficult road to dump all that baggage into the sea.

    We have come a long way since my youth.

    Well, most of us🙂

    I don’t know what to say. Back then, I could not understand the prejudice about a Protestant marrying a Catholic and the difficulties, real or imagined, that were placed in their way. As, by that time being an out of the closet atheist I imagined I would remain a virgin until my early death from Catholic or Protestant ‘interventions’. Of course, none of that came true, our fears are, usually, greater than the reality. I was loved, and loved in return.

    I know this sounds ridiculous now, but it felt, at the time, to be a tremendous rejection of the society I had been brought up in.

    I am glad this young man has been brave. You do not break down any sort of prejudice by giving in to it.

    I was pretty weak. I hope he is stronger than I. He ought to be, for between then and now, we have seen women reject, pretty well utterly a status imposed. No-one should submit to that sort of stereotyping. Especially him.

    Best wishes.

    • hektorsmum says:

      Douglas, coming as so many of us do from the Catholic/Protestant problem, I can think of no other word. I often wonder if I would have been as brave as my Great Gran and Granddad who married way back in the 1880’s, he the Catholic, she the Protestant, and the one who would not change. She was often spoken of with admiration by her children, I saw the stairs that the Priest went down after she shoved him out of the door when she came home to find hubby having a wake for her second eldest son. She removed my Gran and all her subsequent children from the Catholic School when my Gran complained she was being beaten by the Nuns. The one thing though all this taught us as a family was strangely tolerance of other’s faith. My Gran’s eldest brother and children remained Catholic and it was never commented on by any of us, We attended wedding and funerals and just got on with it. I should say Douglas I am an Atheist like you but the families religious beliefs had nothing to do with that. I tried but have no faith or at least cannot seem to believe in what I see is
      I can see changes in society, that we are more tolerant, but things do take time. The dinosaur’s will go in time, maybe not all, we still have the WEE FREE Church, but even they will vanish given enough exposure to the light.
      I am glad the young man is safe and I think he is better shot of his brother, I think someone said you can choose your friends but you cannot choose your relations, and that is so true.

  26. Anniepanny says:

    Good news! The lad has done a brave thing by moving away. Jeezo who needs a brother like that!

  27. arthur thomson says:

    Thank you for the update. I hope the young lad can take strength from knowing that we stand shoulder to shoulder with him and wish only for his happiness.

  28. Shiprex says:

    This is the Scotland and these are the Scots I am proud to call countrymen.
    Glad the lad is well and cared for, he will have a rocky time of it but, that we are here, will I hope be a shoulder to lean on

  29. YESGUY says:

    Great news Paul.

    You would think in the 21st centuary we’d be past this kind of shame by now.

    Great to see so many comments supporting the lad.

    No one should live in fear. Gay – straight, black-white, christian – muslim. ..Man still tries to find differences in us when we are all the same.

    Aye and be yourself son. Everyone else takes that for granted. be yourself.

    Cheers Paul. Good news is always welcome.

  30. MARY VASEY says:

    All the best for the future young man, I truly hope you find someone special with whom to share your life but, till then, enjoy yourself, that is what being young should be about.
    A big bosie fae an auld wifie. x

  31. Truth Hurts says:

    I agree that nobody should live in fear and those who are gay do not deserve to be hounded, punished or abused however I expect a lot of abuse for what I am about to write. Homosexuality is a misnomer. There is nothing sexual about it, since when was the rectum a sexual organ?

    The homosexual/trans agenda is entirely related to the destruction of the family unit which leads to a twisting and perversion of traditional society, of which the family unit is the foundation. The same can be said about feminism, which had nothing to do with equality and everything to do with removing loving mothers from the home and having children be given their morals and education entirely by the state and of course, the doubling of the tax base.

    I have no right to judge anyone or to enforce my ideals upon them. I have no business or interest in what 2 consenting adults get up to in the privacy of their own home, that’s entirely up to them. However this incessant push to continually blur the lines between male and female, the feminization of men and the masculinization of women is utterly corrupting society at it’s core. I do not believe it is appropriate for homosexuals to adopt children and saying they are better off with 2 gay dads than in care is simply the better choice of 2 terrible options. The practice is unnatural. It does not fulfil any function other than pleasure, sex is about procreation.

    I object to having this agenda shoved down my throat. The over representation of homosexuals in every sphere is by design. You’re hard pushed to find another group which is given so much attention, assistance and protection, except maybe the jews. Why is it considered acceptable for gays to parade down the street wearing nothing but underwear? If I was to do so I would rightly be arrested for indecent exposure however the “gay pride” collective are actively encouraged and protected to enable this to happen, I fail to see what there is to be proud of in this behaviour. Selective enforcement of the law which furthers the agenda to debase and destroy the family unit allowing the state to step in and redefine “education” and usurp traditional family values.

    I find it abhorrent that homosexuality is to be taught to infants. It has no place in the classroom, especially so at such a young age, it’s brainwashing and indoctrination, pure and simple. What sexual interest or desires exist in a 5yr old child? The same also applies for teaching heterosexuality, before the chants of “bigot” or “homophobe” begin. Children have no need to be taught this subject.

    I could go on and on but I will finish with this. I believe that no man or woman should suffer in any way for their sexual orientation. That is their own personal choice to make and nobody has the right to deny or persecute them for that. I feel the same about feminism, nobody should deny any woman her desires based solely upon on her gender. It is the traditional family structure and values which are being debased and destroyed and those values are the foundation of our entire society.

    Paul, I have enjoyed reading your blog for a long time and will continue to do so. I bear no ill will or hatred to yourself or any homosexual, simply for being so. I look forward to reading your humourous disection of the political arena and the nonsense which abounds within. I wish you well and support your continued success in your venture.

    • weegingerdug says:

      There is so much that you have written that is mired in ignorance and I was reluctant to authorise your post because I’ll just have to moderate the replies – and that just causes a lot of work and hassle for me that I really could live without. But for what it’s worth –
      1. Sexual orientation is not a choice. I did not wake up one morning and think “Hmmm. I think I’ll start fancying men.” If you believe in a god, your god made me this way.
      2. Human sexual behaviour is NOT solely about procreation, that’s animal sex. Why do you think that almost alone amongst mammals that humans don’t have a breeding season? It’s because we evolved other uses for sex. I’ll leave it to you to work out what they might be.
      3. Gay people can be parents without adoption (like me) and we neither require nor seek your approval in order to become parents. Children require love and stability, gay and lesbian parents are just as capable of providing that as anyone else. And there are no studies which show that kids brought up in gay families are damaged as a result.
      4. Being gay openly and without fear has absolutely nothing to do with “destroying the traditional family unit” – and your obsession with anal sex is really quite unseemly. According to one survey of sexual behaviour amongst gay men, 45% of gay men reported not partaking in anal sex.

      • Truth Hurts says:

        Mired in ignorance really?

        1. Please show me any scientific study which provides any modicum of proof for the existence of the “gay gene” or any biological response for your argument. You can’t as it doesn’t exist.

        2. Humans don’t require a breeding season as we developed the ability to build homes which allow us to survive comfortably during winter, that’s why animals have breeding “seasons”, the clue is in the name.

        3. I never suggested you required my approval to become a parent, quite how you elicited that from my post is unclear.

        4. Does being openly gay mean prancing down the street in nothing but your underwear and socks? Your statement I have an obsession with anal sex is also rather perplexing, just where did I repeatedly use that term or insinuate it?

        Your polemic stance is unfortunately typical of most homosexuals. Not once did I denigrate or attack you or your sexuality, your ad hominem attacks and poor insinuations are indicative of someone who has no real argument.

  32. Spotted this from the same source. Gives weight to the belief that people are born with whatever sexual orientation they possess. Maybe the lad’s brother should have a good look at himself.

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