Where no one has heard of Google

An opinion poll was published on Thursday night which, astonishingly, showed that the SNP are polling more than Labour, the Tories and the Lib Dems combined. Fully 41% of people who voted Labour in 2010 plan to vote SNP this time. So that fight-back strategy of James Francis Murphy BA Politics (failed) of re-running the independence referendum campaign is really working – for the SNP. Ed Miliband is at it again today, rushing up to Edinburgh in a doomed attempt to shore up the crumbling support for his party by warning Scotland we’re too poor for devo max.

This isn’t an independence referendum, and telling Scots repeatedly that Scotland is too poor and too weak for Full Fiscal Autonomy just makes voters wonder whose fault that is then. Let’s see. Oh yes, that would be the fault of the Unionist parties for taking a country like Scotland, blessed as it is with political stability, situated in a quiet and peaceful part of the globe, with its long tradition of democracy, its educated population, and its embarrassment of natural resources, and turning it into a basket case that can’t pay its own way in the world.

Talking of basket cases, I got a letter from Magrit Curran. This is the third or fourth piece of electioneering bumph I’ve had from the Labour party since the election campaign began, and every single one of them arrived courtesy of the Royal Mail. Must be costing Labour a fortune in postage, but then they don’t have any volunteers to deliver anything for them.

To to be more exact, it wasn’t me who got the letter, the woman who used to live in my flat before I bought it got a letter from Magrit Curran. It’s highly unlikely that Magrit is going to write to me, what with me being marked down as an evil ranting cybernat on her mailout software. Which is fair enough. It’s a bit like when they used to mark houses where plague sufferers live, Labour’s election mailout software marks houses where the inhabitants have come down with the virus of nationalism. They mark us with a cross that’s joined at the bottom just like an SNP logo, which is unfair, since some of us are Green or SSP voters who’re only voting SNP tactically in order give Magrit and her pals the kicking they well and truly deserve.

Anyway, it was very nice of Magrit to write to the woman who used to live in my flat, even though she moved out over six months ago. Not very up to date this Labour software is it, although since the party is still fighting the referendum campaign I don’t suppose they felt much need to update it. Sadly for Magrit, I can tell her that the woman who used to live in my flat will not be voting for her. I have no idea how she plans to vote, nor indeed whether she plans to vote at all, but I do know that she no longer lives in Magrit’s constituency. So that just leaves me Magrit, and I already bear the curse of Caledonian separatist Satanism -but the only demon which is going to be exorcised will be her.

Since the letter wasn’t a proper stuck down envelopy sort of letter, I read it even though it wasn’t addressed to me. I don’t think the woman who used to live in my flat would mind too much, since Magrit’s letter is of an impersonal nature. A bit like Magrit herself, come to think of it. It’s the kind of marketing letter you’d send to people who probably would believe it was butter, even though what Magrit has on offer is very obviously devoid of all nutritional value. Strangely for someone who boasts of the jobs she’s brought to the East End of Glasgow, her leafletty letter was printed in Cardiff. So not printing jobs then.

It’s funny how a few months changes everything with Labour. During the independence referendum I distinctly recall Magrit and her pals tells us vehemently that warnings that the Tories were a clear and present danger to the NHS were scaremongering of the worst kind. Yet plastered over the back of Magrit’s letter is a warning that the “Tories have extreme plans for spending cuts to our NHS”. And yes, it’s true that they do, but Magrit is hoping that we’ve forgotten that she was telling us just a few short months ago that there was nothing to worry about. Now she wants us to believe that she’s the best person to challenge the threat that she told us wasn’t real.

And there’s the largest party lie, again. It’s Labour’s only line of defence and it’s as threadbare and implausible as Jim Murphy’s claims to be a socialist who’s never been a Unionist.

We get a promise to increase the minimum wage to Β£8 per hour, although I could swear blind that during the debate the other night Jim Murphy promised to raise it to Β£8.50. He also promised jam, and free gold bars, and pavements made from diamonds, and weather like Spain’s, and all Scottish fitba teams are going to be like Barcelona.

There’s also the obligatory photos of, ahem, four ordinary members of the public who may or may not be Labour activists who’re giving their vote to Magrit. Although at least one of them is a union official in a union affiliated to the Labour party, another has the same name as one of the people who nominated Magrit when she stood as a candidate in the 2010 election, and a third is seemingly a Labour student activist and campaigner. So probably not the ordinary non-political members of the public that Magrit’s leafletty letter would have us believe. Getting an endorsement from a campaigner for your own party is not quite the same as wild public acclamation is it. I don’t have a problem with any of them giving their support to Magrit, but a little bit of transparency wouldn’t go amiss.

Sadly it’s that lack of transparency that has proven to be Labour’s undoing. Magrit is campaigning in an East End where no one has ever heard of Google. That would be in the Scotland that depends on the Daily Record for its information. That’s the Scotland that elected Magrit and Jim in 2010, and it passed away during last year’s referendum campaign with an electric shock when the country plugged in its laptops, smart phones and ipads.

We’re all cybernats now.

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28 comments on “Where no one has heard of Google

  1. diabloandco says:

    How do I love thee? let me count the ways .

    Having been utterly depressed by a visit to the Herald site, not even a second visit to Bonnie Prince Bob dispelled the gloom – up you pop and I smile in never to be disappointed anticipation.


  2. […] Where no one has heard of Google […]

  3. amanda mcginley says:

    spot on paul, as everπŸ™‚

  4. Maureen says:

    Do they really think we believe the newspapers?. I prefer to get my news from trusted sources on the internet or social media. It’s nice to be able to ignore the biased, lying unionist media and talk with like-minded Indy supporters. Labour thinks it’s entitled to my vote because i’am working class. All it’s entitled to is my contempt.

  5. Sue de Nymme says:

    Please correct me if I am wrong, but I am not aware of one single thing in the Vow, as trumpeted by the Daily Record, being actually implemented. Others may have the same opinion, and therefore the level of credibility of our illustrious rag may be sliding.

  6. macart763 says:

    After today’s wee sermon from Curly, Larry and Mo, May 7 can’t come round quick enough. Still fighting the referendum and still using fear on their own electorate.

    I don’t think I’ve got the vocabulary to adequately express how much contempt I feel for people capable of such an act. To turn on their own folk for a vote.

    They go! They all go!

  7. Fiona says:

    As it happens I got a leaflet from Anne McKechin today, and it sounds amazingly similar. In particular it also features 4 people who are going to vote for Ms McKechin, Coincidentally, one of them is a trade unionist and one of them is a student. They can’t be the same people, presumably, because they all live in this area. Allegedly. But I’ll tell you what impressed me: one of them is an “interior landscaper” from Ruchill. I don’t even know what an “interior landscaper” is. But I am sure it is very ordinary indeed.

    • hektorsmum says:

      Fiona could the interior landscaper be by any chance a house painter or decorator, Other wise I am as impressed with the imagination that dreamt that one up.

      • Fiona says:

        Could be anything, hektorsmum. I suspect a feng shui practitioner, myself. They are probably ten a penny in Ruchhill.

  8. fillofficer says:

    they’re still no listenin, ur they, plonkers

  9. arthur thomson says:

    I am am saddened that 59 percent of SLAB supporters from the last election have decided to vote for them again. Why oh why? What earthly reason could they have apart from learned helplessness resulting in an inability to see that their country has been neglected and trodden under for generations and will continue to be if they don’t act.

    If you feel up to it at some point Paul, I would appreciate if you would articulate my absolute outrage that Milliband and co have the nerve to state, by implication, that the Scots are a nation of scroungers. How else can I interpret his call on Scots to vote for the Labour party because Scotland is an economic basket case. I am sure I am pretty typical of those who read this site in that I would rather go short than be beholding to someone who thinks he can buy me. I find it utterly offensive for anyone to suggest otherwise and that applies to my country as well as me as an individual.

  10. sheena godley says:

    I received an e-mail from Margaret Curran ( God knows why because I live in Stirling ) asking for my support to vote Labour ,the e-mail included a video of what the day after the GE would look if Scotland voted SNP, there was David Cameron going back into No. 10 and all the doom and gloom associated with that scenario… the implication being it was all SNP voters fault of course.
    I would really like to know how the Labour party had my e-mail , never mind thinking I would support them as I have been an SNP supporter all my adult life , have been a member of the party for a few years now ,and have NEVER voted Labour .
    Anyone else had this ?

    • hektorsmum says:

      I have not had any more e-mails since I asked them if they thought I was as brain dead as the those that supported them. I think what happened in my case was that I was corresponding with my two unfortunately, Labour Party MP and MSP for the Rev Stu. So they are so dashed clever that they thought I was some sort of supporter. May not be the same for you.
      We also got a visit when ahem Cara Hilton was electioneering and this like Paul’s letter was due to the previous occupants voting Labour. My Husband was delighted to tell the English bloke at the door we would rather die than do that and that we vote SNP.
      Obviously the leafletter the other day obviously never lifted their eyes above the ground because the Lib Dems popped a leaflet through my door and the Bedroom window boasts an SNP sign.

  11. johnmcgurk66 says:

    Thanks Paul for keeping us so up to date and for expressing our feeling much better than we can sometimes. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.

  12. aitchbee says:

    I got one of those from my local Labour MP a couple of days ago. It was addressed specifically to me, and my other half didn’t get one. I’m slightly puzzled as to why – what have I done to deserve this?πŸ˜‰

    • seanair says:

      Same here. Discriminating against women who are desperate to hear the Labour message?
      Four people portrayed and printed in Cardiff.
      I scrawled some comments on it and sent it back, hoping that will the Royal Mail will charge them twice.

  13. shuggito says:

    Regards Shuggie


  14. Albaman says:

    Great writing Paul, should have saved it for your “National” spot, or do they not like the personal attack?.
    I don’t see why not, it’s the only “daily” that’s available to us, to get any message over to Joe and Jo public.

  15. hektorsmum says:

    Great post as always will be happy to read your take on the visit of the two Eds, and how they continue to destroy Dim Jim’s chances.

  16. Bud says:

    Paul, like yourself I too received an unsolicited letter from the red Tory party. Unfortunately, as I live in Newton Mearns I have the misfortune to be getting canvassed by thon big dreep, the right dishonourable James Francis Murphy. I have absolutely no idea what the enveloped missive had to say as I don’t make a willing habit of dissecting keech. My first reaction was one of outrage and perhaps fear. What if the postman thinks I may be a potential supporter of the crazed loon? Fortunately I think our Postie’s are made of sterner stuff – I’m sure I saw ours with protective gloves on.
    So in the knowledge the the postal system is protected from lying, tyrannical, mind bending verbal excreta I’m sending it back to the plotters office in Neilston.
    I’m sure he won’t mind me not putting a stamp on the letter.

  17. Tsar Nicholas says:

    Just a minor point. Every candidate at a general election in Scotland, Wales, England and Northern Ireland is entitled to have a leaflet delivered free to very household (if unaddressed) or to every elector provided the leaflet meets certain minimum legal requirements. that is also true for Euro-elections and for elections to the Scottish parliament and to the devolved assemblies in Cardiff and Belfast. It doesn’t apply to council candidates, who have to deliver their own stuff.

    • Bud says:

      But what if more than one is delivered with your name and address on it ?

      • Tsar Nicholas says:

        One per household unaddressed or one per elector addressed. The latter means that most households will get more than one addressed leaflet. If you have had more than one addressed to you and delivered by the Royal Mail from the same candidate, then complain to the Royal Mail (unless of course they really were paid for by the candidate)

        • Bud says:

          The real point is that the red Tories have had to resort to using mailshot marketing instead of having canvassers on our doorstep. Also, if that’s the case across wide geographical areas then they are not getting back realistic feedback.
          I’m just hoping that enough of the electorate in East Renfrewshire have the guts and grey matter to banish Jim Murphy to the gutter where his politics belong.

          • Tsar Nicholas says:

            Oh, you are right about Labour. where i live (in Wales, in safe red seat) Labour don’t canvass, and their MP doesn’t even do such bothersome things as answer letters from constituents. Quite a few people here are aware of what’s happening in Scotland and expect the red Tories to get a pasting on May 7th.

            I posted what i did about the Freepost delivery partly as an explanation and partly because it levels out the playing field for smaller parties and independent candidates. it wouldn’t surprise me if, after the election and given other laws like the gagging law the next UK government decided to scrap the Freepost and rely on the fact that bigger parties have the money to buy stamps!

  18. Tony Sisi says:

    I live in hope that when all the verdicts and legal wrangling in the court case of the Daily Mirror’s phone hacking episode are settled that the damages awarded will bankrupt Mirror group which includes The Daily Record. As it was criminal wrongdoing there will be no help from insurance companies….so pray for huge damage awards to Gazza and other victims!

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