Vote Dug

Voting is now open in Bella Caledonia’s indyref awards, because we didn’t win the actual indyref, they thought it would be a good idea to cheer us up with an awards ceremony. Thankfully this hasn’t proven necessary as the Labour party has been providing Scotland with endless amusement since the 18th of September, and looks set to give us the biggest belly laugh of 2015 when it gets its backside soundly kicked in May’s general election.

The ceremony is going to be non-glitzy, which means that the BBC won’t be showing it. Sally Magnusson will not be putting in an appearance in a big frock. But since Sally has never reported on anything else that Bella Caledonia has ever done, and the BBC has studiously ignored every press call that Bella has ever put out, that’s hardly much of a surprise.

Personally I am hoping that David Torrance will turn up in person to collect his award for pointiest pointy-heid, because I’m dying to know if the Hair is actually hair, or whether it’s cunningly constructed from layers of plastic and product. And it is the single most burning question in Scottish political commentary, does it take Davie longer to to do his hair than it takes him to write one of his articles moaning about Alicsammin.

Anyway this blog has been nominated in the category of funniest blog. It’s a tight run race though, I’ve got BBC Scotlandshire coming up my behind, which is a thrilling experience of the sort I’ve previously only had the pleasure of in the darker corners of some of the more obscure members-only night clubs. Some people pay good money for that sort of thing you know, and let’s be honest – we have to take our thrills where we can find them.

I voted for BBC Scotlandshire for two reasons – firstly because they make me laugh more than I make myself laugh, and secondly because it just seems dashed ungentlemanly to vote for yourself. That’s the sort of thing Jim Murphy does. ‘Nuff said. Not that I am going to cast aspersions on the good people who write BBC Scotlandshire, but there’s more than one of them, and I bet they’ve all voted for themselves – probably more than once – and so have their mothers. You know what these BBC types are like with their cunning ability to purge cookies from their browsers. My mother is still struggling with the Interwebbies, so I’m at a disadvantage before we’ve even begun.

But having said that – I’d really like you to vote for me if you’ve not already voted. I’m a nice person with a skin condition and am making a naked appeal for your pity. Give me your vote and your pity and I’ll put some clothes on, so you’ll be able to keep down the yum-yum and peake freens you’re enjoying with your cup of tea. Plus I’ll stop shedding flakes of dead skin all over your carpet and upsetting the cat. But think of the fortune you’ll save on shake-n-vac.

The dug has never won anything. While we still lived in Spain, he was entered in a local dog show for rescued dogs in the category of scruffiest mongrel. He didn’t win, being beaten in the winsome stakes by a one eyed spaniel collie cross with mange. Admittedly the fact that he’d tried to savage the judge’s labradoodle may have swung the vote against him, that and spending most of the afternoon trying to eat a yorkie. No, not the ones with the chocolate.

I’ve never won anything either, except for a turkey I once won in a raffle at my dad’s bowling club when I was 14. I don’t even like turkey that much. And bowling even less. Every time I hear the words Indoor Bowling from Coatbridge I break out in a cold sweat. So vote for me in a meaningless popularity contest with online voting that’s easy to pauchle. I love sausage rolls, and a collection of Greggs finest at the Yes Bar in Glasgow is the nearest I’m likely to get to an awards ceremony. Although I did get an invite the Oscar ceremony, it was when he married his boyfriend. Nae sausage rolls there though, cheap bastert.

Bella Caledonia, more coveted than a dead turkey, it might not be much of an accolade, but in the absence of a Pointless trophy I can stick on my mantlepiece, a pointless award will do just as well. So get yourselves along to Bella Caledonia, and vote Dug, not Dugdale.

Just click the following link –


52 comments on “Vote Dug

  1. Hazel Smith says:

    Have already voted for you wee ginger dug!

  2. Martin Wood says:

    Already done – before the plea.
    Was worried for a while you were going to give this all up but glad to see you’re still here

  3. jdman says:

    I voted for you yesterday. 🙂

  4. Fairliered says:

    Perhaps you could put up an award for best supporting animal. The contenders could be:
    The dug
    Rev. Stu’s rats
    John McTernan
    P.S. I voted for you yesterday

  5. macart763 says:

    Wee Ginger Dug every day of the week and twice on a Sunday.

    You informed us and made us laugh when the very worst of state propaganda had us reeling with despair and depression.

    Many thanks. 🙂

  6. John Lowe says:

    You got my vote Gregg’s ya bass

  7. liza says:

    I voted for you last night! Hope you win!

  8. jimnarlene says:

    Already voted, ‘Mon the dug.

  9. Maggie Craig says:

    I have duly voted, for your good self, of course. Have been in the Slough of Despond since 19th September but that questionnaire fair cheered me up.

  10. diabloandco says:

    I voted for you when I found the poll – hard decisions in there.
    ( Can I cheat and vote twice ? I could pretend I was your Mum)

  11. Pat Farrelly says:

    Enjoyed voting for you. You kept us going during those roller coaster days.x

  12. You got my vote for getting me through the worst of the scaremongering and out of the doldrums before and after the result. Go Wee ginger yin

  13. Jan Cowan says:

    I voted for you yesterday and checked just now to see if it’s possible to vote twice…….no!! I hope you win but in the meantime be thankful you live in Glasgow for we’ve been without electricity four times this winter – and now the water’s off! Fortunately there’s plenty of snow we can melt. Pray they don’t disappear together.

  14. annelawrie says:

    Voted for you. You’re winning! x

  15. Andrea says:

    No need to grovel – voted yesterday.

    But you really need to avoid the pies and sausage rolls and the Greggs stuff …to stop yourself fraying at the edges….

    Castor oil and apple cider vinegar on the other hand – are good for psoriasis – (topically – ye dont need to eat it …)

  16. hektorsmum says:

    Of course I voted for you, who else is deserving of the Funniest Blog if not you. Silly boy, love to Ginger, hope he is liking the weather better than the wee one here.

  17. norman martin says:

    voted for you already, the stand out winner for me.

  18. Lynne says:

    I voted Dug yesterday. T’was a no brainer!

  19. Laura Anne Gibson says:


    PS can you please stop calling Mr Murphy by that nickname, the Smugurphy. You could at least have the decency to call him by his proper name – Mr Hi Jumpy. It suits him so well! 😀

    MON THE DUG!!!!

  20. Betty Craney says:

    Already voted for you – even though I’m a fortune in kitchen roll to wipe the splutters off my screen at some of your posts …keep them coming , Paul…laughter is good for you !

  21. Luigi says:

    You got my vote, WGD.

  22. deedee says:

    Done : ))))

  23. johnmcgurk66 says:

    Hi Paul the vote is in the (BAG) good luck .

  24. liz says:

    Also voted for you yesterday but maybe I should have waited until we got the bribe!

  25. Bill Hume says:

    Already done. IMHO a no brainer. Thanks for keeping me sane (ish) and laughing pre and post September.
    p.s. My big bernese dug doesn’t eat yorkies……just sits on the yappy little buggers. I’m currently training her to jump on top of unionist polititians

  26. Ian says:

    I voted for you. ¡Vaya el Perrito Pelirojo!

  27. Carol Jardine says:

    As has already been said, you kept us going when times got rough. You deserve our votes.

  28. I cannot be cajoled or bribed into voting for you because I already voted for you. Along with Wings, yours is the blog I recommend to friends and family.

  29. arthur thomson says:

    Thanks Paul. I will nip across to Bella now and vote for the dug. I feel so lucky to be able to do that.

  30. Tatterdemelon says:

    Done, Paul. Thanks for making me give up smoking!

  31. Voted for you yesterday. Some of the other categories were difficult – so many goodies to chose from, but you stood out from the crowd. As others have said, you kept us going through dark days.

  32. J Galt says:

    Just voted – and the Dug’s aheid!

    Go on admit it – you’ve got your acceptance speech all ready to go!

  33. Morag Frame says:

    Voted for you last night. You were and are a bright star in the political landscape. My heart lifts when I look at my emails and there’s one from the Dug. Would love to see yer flaky skin in glitter!

  34. A Meringue says:

    I have already voted for your good self. Best of luck. You canny beat a free sausage roll.

    Talking of Dugs my very own wee ginger dug hasnae been well recently. (Hence the reason that I haven’t been commenting recently) She had a we accident the Sunday before Christmas. We were visiting friends and had taken the dugs to Kirkcaldy beach for a walk. The tide was out and the dugs were loving it chasing balls and generally being dugs. My dug “Eilean” was running flat out when my friends border collie “Mac” started the collie herding thing. When it became obvious that Eilean was going to get past him he went for a full on body block turning sideways on. Eilean tried to pull up before colliding with him and while doing so her wee back paws dug into the wet sand and she has torn the ligaments in both of her back knees, Mac in the meantime had jumped out of the road. If we had been on grass she would have skidded and all would have been fine.

    Obviously she has had a few trips to the vets and has had one knee operated on at a veterinary hospital in Stirling. She is due to have the other knee done mid February. In the meantime she is restricted to three five minute walks a day on the lead and no further than the garden. (Aye right) With the way the weather is now thats not a problem and we are slowly extending the walks but she still cant manage the step at the front door unassisted. the good news is that I can see an improvement every day she is getting a wee bit better.

    Thankfully she is insured as the final bill will be well on the wrong side of £5.000

    PS. Eilean has had her hind quarters shaved so if you see a grumpy old git wi a wee ginger dug wi a radical Hip Hop haircut (the dug that is!) gies a shout.

  35. Maureen says:

    voted for you wgd. do hope you win you deserve it.

  36. mo Mhorag says:

    Done! And you’re still winning!

  37. Dinna_fash says:

    Wuff wuff!

    Duly voted.

    Didn’t see wee Duggy Dug in there, hope Ginger isnae too disappointed 😀

  38. George Elliott says:

    Voted for you a couple of days ago! Wish you could post every day, I know it’s selfish for me but you do make me laugh out loud many times on each post! C’mon the wee ginger award!

  39. Maria Sheridan says:

    Paul and Dug…you inspired us all through the ups and downs of the campaign…..and particularly through the downs….you have made us laugh …..and we cried with you….and made us smile through the tears…….We lived the Indyref through your lense….we shared your love and pain with Andy and your loss. You were with us and inspired us through every step of the campaign. Most importantly, you punctured the cloud of fear they tried to instill in us and inspired Hope Over Fear!!! We will continue to press ~The National to give you a weekly column….! But history will record that Wee Ginger Dug aka Paul Kavanagh …was a major force FOR Scottish Independence and a massive force against Project Fear! YOU made the difference. Mucho Respect, Senor!

  40. Nana says:

    Dearest Dug, I’m struggling with a bad tickly cough and having read this it’s now much worse as laughing while coughing is not to be recommended.

    You had my vote anyway!

  41. I had already voted for you before reading this,your blogs always brighten my day.Hope the dug gets a big rosette if you win!

  42. Shetltie2014 says:

    Voted for you before your plea😛

  43. vronsky says:

    BBC Scotlandshire is a lot of misspelled, unfunny, ungrammatical shite. Must admit it’s quite good apart from that.

  44. Kavanagh: “I’m a nice person with a skin condition and am making a naked appeal for your pity.”

    Great line – I shall steal it often.

  45. IcyMonsters says:

    Also voted for you as a thanks for the entertainment you have provided me over the past several months. I am sure there are many many others like me who read but don’t post. Just know we are here, reading as always.

  46. xraypat says:

    I voted for you too…xx

  47. Bibbit says:

    I voted for you too before reading your plea. How is your book going? Any word?

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