Wullie Rennie’s letter to Santa

Just three months after the referendum, and for much of the Scottish political class and their media hingers oan it’s back to business as usual. This consists of finding things to accuse the SNP of while displaying a moral outrage that a hormonal teenager who’s just painted their bedroom black and retired under the duvet would consider a bit immature. And then they wonder why the public hold politicians and the media in contempt.

This week we’ve had two invitations to throw our hands in the air in horror and purse our lips like a Wee Free who’s stumbled into a Gay Pride march in Stornoway on a Sunday. There may have been more SNP accused moments, but on Monday and Tuesday BBC Scotland and the Record were far too busy trying to persuade us that Gordie Broon was really one of the X-men – a superhero who’s the offspring of Mother Theresa and Gandhi with the intellect of Einstein – and I’d been overcome with projectile vomiting and had to go and lie down in a darkened room so didn’t notice. Gordie’s superhero persona is endogenous growth man – which is a bit like a verucca but with added Nokia hurling, bullying, and behind the scenes briefings. Gordie’s politics were an ingrowing wart on the sole of socialism.

Anyway, first up was Wullie Rennie, attempting to be noticed again. Wullie has to pull moronic stunts on regular basis as otherwise the rest of the world would forget he exists as something other than a character from a Dudley D Watkins cartoon – one of those who’s been badly drawn after the great man had popped his clogs. That, and the fact that Lib Dems have been staring extinction in the face for longer than a diplodocus, only far less nifty on their feet. This week Wullie’s wheeze was to reveal to a shocked Lib Dem pamphlet, one channelling a Wee Free at a Gay Pride March in Stornoway, that Scottish Government civil servants have been looking at evil nationalist websites. It’s the curse of Wings again, flying high over Scotland, and dumping guano on the Unionist establishment.

Looking at Wings Over Scotland is a bad bad thing, because civil servants must never allow their eyes to be polluted with biased sources, except those like poorly sub-edited Lib Dem pamphlets or the Aberdeen Press and Journal. But it’s not bias when it agrees with Wullie. The Unionist parties, the Unionist media, and a number of pro-independence supporters who really ought to have known better spent much of the referendum campaign portraying Stu Campbell, the author of Wings Over Scotland, as a sort of cross between a cult leader and a J Edgar Hoover without the taste for cross dressing.

Ooh that Stu Campbell is a homophobic monster, heterosexual people cried in unison, because he’d had a number of inconsequential twitter spats with inconsequential people and said some things they hoped that other people might find objectionable. It is of course a well known rule of Scottish politics that only people who are saint-like in their dispositions are allowed to make any contribution to political discourse – so that would be saints like Gordie Broon then, former employer of Damien McBride, Iraq war enabler, and the man who condemned a generation to low paid employment subsidised by those of us who can’t avoid paying our taxes while allowing the banks to run riot and selling off state assets. But Gordon’s never said anything objectionable on Twitter, so that makes everything else he’s ever said or done perfectly OK.

The real reason for the stunt was of course to provide the tame press with an excuse to accuse Nicola Sturgeon of something. Cue newspaper articles demanding that the new First Minister disassociate herself from a website she’s not associated with and has no control over anyway. Next week Nicla will be called upon to disassociate herself from North Korean pirate downloaders, a guy on Twitter who pretends to be Philip Schofield, two serial shaggers on the Jeremy Kyle Show, and a spotty child in a primary school who told the infants class that Santa doesn’t exist. Wullie was particularly upset by this latest revelation, as he’d already sent a letter off asking for his very own Danny Alexander glove puppet after George Osborne blagged the one the Lib Dems already had.

Our second invitation to ooh-aah-ery came courtesy of Wullie again, joined this time by Anas Sarwar, who’s forever looking for a deflection strategy in case folk realise that the hereditary principle isn’t the best way to select a Labour candidate. Although the offspring of Tony Blair, Neil Kinnock, John Prescott and Jack Straw may beg to differ. Anas is still hoping that he’ll get Magrit Curran’s job as Shadow Scottish Secretary after he stood down as deputy Scottish branch manager in order to remove one of the objections to the Smugurphy’s candidacy – that Jim getting the gig would mean both leader and deputy were Westminster MPs, which would prove Johann’s criticism that the party in Scotland was being dictated to by London – something we’d already guessed anyway. Mind you there are a myriad of other objections to Smugurphy getting the job, not the least of which is that Jim Murphy is objectionable in and of himself. But Magrit would have to be replaced anyway. She is widely regarded as being ineffective as Shadow Scottish Secretary because she just isn’t sneery enough, her face looks like that all the time and no one can tell the difference.

Wullie and Anas were annoyed that three SNP cooncillors from East Renfrewshire had the temerity to mock the Smith Commission report by saying it was a worthless confection of lies and visually demonstrating this by setting fire to it and dumping it in a bin. It was behaviour every bit as mature as Wullie Rennie’s, and at least had the advantage of providing something that you could toast some chestnuts on. Wullie’s party has only got old chestnuts, in the form of ancient jokes like Jim Wallace and Ming Campbell.

Wullie immediately decided that the stunt was another test for Nicla, who disappointingly obliged him by condemning the SNP cooncillors. What she should have done of course would have been merely to point out that she had no time for childish behaviour and tantrums, whether they come from SNP cooncillors or the leader of the dwindling band of Lib Dems at Holyrood.

You really shouldn’t pay Wullie Rennie any heed Nicla, unless it’s to mock him, it only makes him think he’s important and has something worthwhile to say. The last time Wullie made a substantive contribution to a debate was when he was mistaken for a bus driver and said, “No, you want the number 17 to Kelty.”

There are going to be many more “Nicola Sturgeon accused” stories over the coming months. Perhaps one day this country will have a media which spends the same amount of time and energy fearlessly accusing Gordie Broon, but you won’t be seeing that in the pages of the Daily Record or on the BBC – which is why we need sites like Wings Over Scotland. Wullie Rennie finding them objectionable is precisely why we need them.




53 comments on “Wullie Rennie’s letter to Santa

  1. Morag Martin says:

    We need Wings, but we also need that wee ginger dug nipping at the heels. Keep up the good work!

  2. Brian says:

    Thanks, I enjoyed your article. Yes, Nicola should have treated the critics of the burning stunt with the contempt they deserved. Actually, the burning of the Myth Commission Report was a nice piece of comic relief. Any reasonable person would have seen in as such.

  3. johnmcgurk66 says:

    THE GINGER DUG DOES IT AGAIN , more power to your elbow Paul you made my day it was
    really good to read and so true . W RENNIE is about as much use as a boil on your BUM.

  4. Bugger (the Panda) says:


  5. Thanks Paul.

    After a week’s bombardment of pure pish of a volume last experienced the week before the referendum, this is like a breath of fresh air after being locked inside a deep sea diving suit and force fed sprouts for a day and a half…

    • jdman says:

      this is like a breath of fresh air after being locked inside a deep sea diving suit and force fed curried sprouts for a day and a half…

      Fixed that for you Max.🙂

  6. Nana says:

    “purse our lips lips like a Wee Free who’s stumbled into a Gay Pride march in Stornoway on a Sunday”

    Hahaha I know a fair few of them.

    Paul you crack me up and after a week of media guff I welcomed this. Brilliant as usual…

  7. Hazel Smith says:

    A great read as usual Paul. Really enjoyed your wee article in iScot magazine as well.

  8. I fear that Nicola, by not standing up to the bullies, will just have encouraged them to repeat such tactics.

  9. begoniapink says:

    Excellent as usual, love receiving your blogs in my email box , braw stuff

  10. PK: “Gordie’s politics were an ingrowing wart on the sole of socialism.”

    And Gordon himself was a suppurating boil on the arse of the British body politic.

  11. Steve Asaneilean says:

    The problem isn’t Wings – it’s the people log on in order to be offended and have something to moan about. A bit like deliberately going to see a comedian that you know is going to swear and sail a bit close to the edge then complaining that they swore and sailed a bit close to the edge.
    Oor Wullie really just needs to grow up and step out of the P1 – 3 playground.

  12. Lynne says:

    “The last time Wullie made a substantive contribution to a debate was when he was mistaken for a bus driver and said, “No, you want the number 17 to Kelty.” ”

    You made me snort tea out of my nose with that line…

  13. diabloandco says:

    A pleasure to find you in my inbox!

    I am truly pissed off with the Scottish media – personally don’t care that a wee bittie has dropped off from the Herald to proclaim it is now standing up in favour of independence – just about a year too late.

    The chronic drivel in the Herald castigating Liz Lochead for having the temerity to join the SNP ,followed closely by the man with the upside down smile castigating Mr Salmond for sticking up for her stance put the tin lid on the Herald and everything associated with it.

    • Mick Pork says:

      The Lochead ‘episode’ was an utter disgrace and proof that the biased media fully intend to continue to try and smear and silence SNP supporters. It seems they didn’t learn a thing from the referendum when all their efforts were ‘rewarded’ with a massive surge in SNP and the other Yes parties memberships. Trying to silence and bully people for perfectly valid political views always, but always backfires.

      • diabloandco says:

        I hope you are right.
        Once upon a day I would have defended the Glasgow Herald as being a great paper offering a wide variety of views and allowing their readership to absorb ,digest and decide.
        Now it has become the Daily Record with slightly fewer spelling/grammatical errors and appears ,with few exceptions ,to be written by empty headed gossip columnists who would be more at home on the Daily Mail or OK magazine – it is certainly not awash with thinkers.

        • Brian Fleming says:

          The Glasgow Herald a “great paper”? That must have been a long time ago. i’m put in mind of one of my favourite quotes from the late, great Oliver Brown: “All a man needs is a good cause and the enmity of the Glasgow Herald, and if he finds the first, the second will surely follow.”

    • jdman says:


  14. liza says:

    Paul, I love reading your posts! You are so on the ball! Keep it up, please, for my sanity!!

  15. Dinna_fash says:

    Great summation as ever Paul.
    When will be reading your top notch stuff in the National?
    A wee ginger commission would bring a lot of cheer.

  16. Lochside says:

    Funny and apposite commentary as ever.

  17. Mick Pork says:

    Good piece as always Paul though I can’t agree with you here.

    “Wullie immediately decided that the stunt was another test for Nicla, who disappointingly obliged him by condemning the SNP cooncillors.”

    I know wee Wullie, the unionist BBC and other biased media will try to delude themselves that she did so because of their outrage but the truth is these cooncillors should have known better and Nicola was right to do it. For god’s sake John Swinney spent weeks stuck in a room with the likes of Annabel Goldie, Michael Moore and Iain Gray! (you wouldn’t wish that on anyone) That’s Nicola’s Deputy First Minister who has been front and centre on Smith and has pointed out it’s many manifest deficiencies while obviously welcoming any new powers if they are meaningful and helpful for scots. At no point did he encourage anyone in the SNP to burn it and give the unionist media an easy target and open goal. The unionists wanted to spend many more day if not weeks on this because as you so rightly pointed out..

    “There are going to be many more “Nicola Sturgeon accused” stories over the coming months.

    Oh we know all right. The SNP are not that far off 100,000 members now so if anything this was actually useful in further emphasising that we can’t just behave as we please while showing that Nicola knows fine well she has to keep the more excitable and less savvy members and cooncillors on track and in line with party policy. She won’t be a soft touch any more than Alex would have been with these cooncillors. (who obviously aren’t bad or malicious people just a bit clueless, misguided and naive)

    The reason Swinney spent all that time on Smith is the same reason Nicola had to make an example of these cooncillors. To send a message out to all the new members and those active in the SNP. It’s also the difference between a website like Stu’s and yourself’s and an actual political party. Nicola doesn’t have a choice but to try and engage with the media and unionist BBC. That’s the cold hard reality of politics and elections. So when she does to try and promote SNP and independence policies the last thing she needs is to spend most of her time dealing with idiot broadcasters who would start every interview with “Why do you condone the burning of the Smith commission report?” and “why are the SNP against more powers for scots?” repeated again and again and again if she hadn’t acted firmly and if John Swinney hasn’t engaged with the Smith commission. You think the manufactured outrage was tedious after a couple of days of it then imagine it going on for weeks or even months. As you yourself point out Paul.

    “Perhaps one day this country will have a media which spends the same amount of time and energy fearlessly accusing Gordie Broon, but you won’t be seeing that in the pages of the Daily Record or on the BBC – which is why we need sites like Wings Over Scotland. Wullie Rennie finding them objectionable is precisely why we need them.”

    We do indeed need sites like yourself and Stu’s precisely because the SNP and the other Yes parties have to deal with the grotesque bias of the BBC and press so can’t spend all their time fending off manufactured outrage over easily avoided own goals. You, Stu and other sites are well loved because you give back as good as you get from the assorted unionist party bampots who cower behind a monolithic media as it does all their work for them while throwing out lies and smears that they know will be ignored and glossed over by that same media. It’s not fair but it IS the reality we have had to deal with for decades and will have to keep dealing with. However, at least a huge and ever growing number of scots and the 45 now see that reality and aren’t best pleased by what they see.

    The more desperate the westminster unionist media becomes (and believe me they will be growing very desperate indeed next year) the more obvious and blatant their bias and spin will be to ALL scots. Even the ones who normally try to turn a blind eye to their shortcomings will start to wonder, ‘if the westminster media can lie and spin on this scale about Independence and the Yes parties, then what else are they lying about?’

  18. smiling vulture says:

    in truth most Scots would of taken a Vietnam flame thrower to the smithcommision papers

  19. The “Scottish Media” are not Scottish, not even the wee, independence supporting bits.

  20. Robin Ross says:

    As far as I can see the Smith Commission Report is bound in a blue cover with white writing. It looked as if the ‘report’ being burnt was a single piece of A4 white paper. If that is the case, the whole stunt was a symbolic gesture, but I’ve not seen anything anywhere to back up this up.

    It was inevitable that umbrage would be taken – Willie and co are umbrage junkies, they can’t get enough of it – so my message to Willie is – “Say no to dugs (wee ginger or otherwise).”

  21. Mick Pork says:

    While we are on the subject of Wee Wullie and his pitiful yellow tory posturing, it might be useful to point out that the abuse Wings keeps getting from yellow tories like Wullie is mostly because of a one woman smear campaign from the out of touch bubble site Lib Dem Voice. I won’t repost all the objectionable and abusive lies and smears she has said about Independence supporters, (you can find them easily enough) but I will point out that the hypocrisy of Lib Dem voice taking another site to task is breathtaking. (hypocrisy from the yellow tories! who would have believed it.😉 )

    For one this is the same site that saw a prominent lib dem campaigner resign from their party because of racist abuse on Lib Dem Voice.


    Yeah, just a touch more serious than the Rev Stu swearing. (Swearing which Paddy Pantsdown has done for years with Zero sanctions or ‘outrage’ from this right-wing Clegg propaganda outlet)

    For another anyone on Lib Dem Voice with the gall to talk about equal rights needs to have a long hard look in the mirror when their party welcomes Lord Rennard back into their ranks with open arms.

    “Ms Goldsworthy said the consequences for female activists were deeply depressing. “The thing that makes me really sad is there’s no way I could advise a woman who was a liberal and aspiring to stand for parliament to put herself forwards,” she said.

    “If she encounters a problem or there are abuses of power she wouldn’t be taken seriously.” She has resigned from the federal executive and is preparing to leave the party. She said: “I can see no place for me – or any women who want to deliver change – in a party that behaves like this.”

    So much for lib dem equality. Utter hypocrisy. Needless to say if you see anyone in that party trying to sneer at Nicola for actually doing something about it and having a 50/50 cabinet, feel free to laugh in their face and ask them if Lord Rennard approves of them saying that.

    Next up the money grubbing. (Why else would some of these obnoxious Cleggites still be spinning for the fool if not the expectation of Clegg throwing them some kind of bone while growing fat off the proceeds before they are hammered in 2015?) Sure, small political websites have to have adverts but hiding paid adverts under supposed opinion then trying to hurriedly cover it up and change it to make it more ‘prominent’, even though it’s against lib dem party policy? The stench from that positively reeks.


    Finally it’s claim that it speaks for Lib Dem members. (those few that are left) An easy thing to do surely?




    So there you have it. Didn’t take long to find that lot and no doubt there are many, many more examples from the chief propaganda outlet for Clegg’s ostrich faction.

    So which do you think is the more disreputable and objectionable site? Stu’s or Lib Dem Voice.

    (also it’s one the THE most censorious authoritarian political sites on the internet and I don’t say that lightly. Even the ‘scottish’ unionist press websites would be hard pushed to match their level of Orwellian thought policing on most of their articles)

  22. Stoker says:

    Long time lurker – first time poster.

    Perfect way to end the day, with a good laugh.

    “Next week Nicla will be called upon to disassociate herself from…..
    two serial shaggers on the Jeremy Kyle Show…..”

    Laughed out very loud at that part and attracted some strange looks fae the boss.

    Keep up the good work.


  23. liz says:

    Thanks Paul. This week I’ve been back to losing the will to live and kept off political blogs for one whole day, preferring instead to indulge in wall to wall watching of Breaking Bad.

    We have been hit with a shit load of garbage from the MSM and there has been a good bit of moaning on all sides re over -reaction etc to essentially minor piffle whilst the really serious stuff slips under the radar.

    So again thanks for the laugh, like most folk involved I’ll pick myself up, dust myself down… etc and head into a new day.

    We need folk like yourself and the Rev to keep us sane.

  24. […] Wullie Rennie’s letter to Santa. […]

  25. jdman says:

    Haw Wullie
    Awa back an dae whit yer guid at
    Kelty Clippie!

    Cumoan gerraff!

  26. Kenzie says:

    Like a breath of fresh air blowing away the political chaff that is Rennie and his ilk. The reference to ‘Kelty Clippie’ is very funny if anyone who has heard the late Hamish Imlach’s version of that song recalls the chorus, will know what I mean.

  27. How diz Wullie Rennie know about the Internet site Wings Over Scotland unless of course he,s hivin a keek roon the door, or in wee Wullie,s case under the door. Wingers fly high Wullie, dont espire to do the same, that takes reason & wit. Paul put draugh excluders at your doors keep Wullie oota Wee Ginger Dug , we’ll dey the promotion of WGD Wullie’s no up tae the job, given his hight restriction he’s no up tae anything much. (Is that coffee table fixed yet).

  28. hektorsmum says:

    Ronnie, I doubt Wee Willie Rennie can turn on a computer far less find Wings, someone must have told him about it.
    There has been a shouting match in our house about the whole matter of Nicola and the Renfrewshire Cooncillors and can we say I think we have finally reached agreement. Time for the Leadership to remember that they are actually at war with the media and the Unionists. They are not yet in Government, regardless of their title, they are merely administrating Scotland for Westminster. To get to Government Status, they need control of everything.
    So Nicola, next time someone does something to draw attention to not being too pleased about something. Stop, do not listen to bad advice and go with the gut feeling which is to remind the critics that they ain’t perfect either and tell them about their deeds. Other wise the new members just might replace you with someone who will.

  29. david agnew says:

    Expect more of this nonsense as the sheer scope of Osborne’s austerity regime hits home & the reality of a no vote becomes obvious to all but the most black hearted unionists. The UK parties in Scotland are going to be going for the SNP and Nicola in a big way to distract from the monstrous- failure of UK-plc. These worthless wretches claiming that the smith commission has delivered, will see us all homeless and eating out of bins before they lift one finger to help us from the depredations of westminster.

    Better together my arse.

  30. Cag-does-thinking says:

    By far the funniest thing I have read today. The National take note! Just a wee correction though the burnie cooncilors were Renfrewshire ones, East Renfrewshire is of course a smoke free zone and have wardens which stop these kinds of acts.

    • hektorsmum says:

      Duly noted Cag, but I am hoping the wardens there are more vigilant than the ones here in Fife, I had a neighbour who managed to burn his garden shed in the garden without hearing a word.

  31. A Meringue says:

    Its a tough time being an independence supporter right now. The referendum results is still stinging and all we can do regarding the current political excretia from Westminster is to sit back and say “I telt ye, I fuckin telt ye this would happen!” Very frustrating that we should have to suffer these slings and arrows rammed down our throats delivered by the BBC and the pro union newspapers. I am sure that things will improve once the general election starts to warm up and we can start fighting instead of marching.
    The Wee Ginger Dug and others are doing a marvelous service just by keeping our spirits up during this frustrating period for that thank you a thousand times.

  32. SCED300 says:

    Apparently the candidate to stand when Gordon Brown retires will be chosen by London Labour, only one of the members of the NEC will be from Scottish Labour.

  33. Steve Bowers says:

    on the ball again Paul

  34. Wan o’ yir best, Paul. Brilliant!

  35. Bugger (the Panda) says:

    Do you know what I love about WGD, he paints such sublime humorous images in Scots words and context.

  36. bearinorkney says:

    SNP Members handbook 2015

    The responsibilities and rights of membership

    Point 4

    Every member owes a duty to the Party to refrain from conduct likely to cause damage to or hinder the Party’s pursuit of its aims in accordance with it’s constitutionally laid down policy and direction.

    Nicola was right to give them a kick for being childish. Elected SNP politicians, especially, should know better. The rest of the political class can be arseholes all they like, but we should strive to be better than they are.

  37. treglison says:

    I so love the way you write Paul, and the metaphors like ‘the Wee Free at a Gay Pride March in Stornoway’ just make me laugh out loud. My Australian husband now knows what a Wee Free is and why Stornoway was used in the sentence! Oh, and I love that you are such an independence man. By the way, most of my primary school teachers came from Lewis, and taught at Easthall primary in Easterhouse.

  38. M says:

    Brilliant. I am willing you to write a political satire like ‘The thick of it’. It would be so good to hear Scots in a that context. I always loved hearing Alicsammin saying in parliament “if that wis the case I might as well take ma baw an’ go home’. Oh go on.

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