Is schadenfreude fatal?

Less than two months since Scotland voted No, and it’s become clear that the big loser from the independence referendum isn’t the SNP or the other pro-independence parties, it’s Labour. Is schadenfreude fatal? I may have given up ciggies just to die from an overdose of smugness, gloating, and an overwhelming urge to yell out: “Ha ha! Fuckin’ TELT yese!”

Johann Lamont famously told Scots that we are not genetically programmed to make decisions, but now she herself has been programmed – a bit like a washing machine – and has decided to leave Labour to its rinse and spin cycle. The woman who has spent the last two years telling us that being ruled from London like a branch office is a good thing has resigned as leader of British Labour in Scotland – because the party in Scotland is being run from London like a branch office. No, really, pick your jaw up off the floor.

There’s some serious irony lurking there. Well, not so much lurking as standing in front of you in a dayglo spandex suit screaming “Look at me I’m the dictionary definition of irony, you bastard” into your face. It’s irony that’s so unsubtle that even Alanis Morrisette would pick up on it for a song lyric. Johann can’t spot it though. Johann doesn’t do irony, or indeed intellectual coherence, joined up thinking, or sentences with a subject a verb and an object. Actually it transcends irony, iron is a base metal. What we see before us in the British Labour party is something heavier, rarer and far more toxic, it’s plutoniumy. They’re entirely artificial, radioactive, destructive of all that is organic, and have a limited half-life. It couldn’t have happened to a more deserving bunch of self-serving careerists.

What Johann does do is lobbing a few grenades in the direction of Labour’s Scottish MPs and Ed Miliband. Or as he’s known in the Lamont household – that fucking useless skinny wanker. The Labour MPs are, according to Johann, dinosaurs – a discovery that Johann has only recently made. The rest of us realised this long before the asteroid that wiped them out crashed into the Yucatan peninsula where it created a massive crater known as Chicxulub, which is Yucatec Maya for “Jim Murphy’s expenses”. So vast, it can be seen from outer space.

However, the reports in the media that Johann has resigned as leader of Scottish Labour are not strictly true. There is no such party as Scottish Labour – Scottish Labour is a branding exercise belonging to the British Labour party and has no distinct existence of its own. A non-party can’t have a leader, and indeed Johann was very much the model of a non-leader, non-leaders all over the world looked to her for inspiration on how not to lead. It is more accurate to say that Johann was the fictitious leader of a fictitious party who has fictitiously resigned.

When Johann was elected as the fictitious leader of a fictitious party, British Labour swore a vow that she would be a proper non-leader, and would non-lead Westminster MPs as well as Holyrood MSPs and local cooncillors. It was of course a deception. But Johann took the gig and was quite happy to go along with the deception right up to the point where she realised that she was one of those who was being deceived.

Johann’s resignation was allegedly provoked in part by the discovery that Magrit Curran – her auld pal fae uni and co-conspirator – was canvassing members of the party’s ruling executive in order to get them to persuade Johann to resign. Magrit and Johann go back a long way together, but personal loyalty counts for about as much as a manifesto promise or a referendum vow in the Labour party. Magrit Curran – the wummin that’s too venal for tribalism. But the straw that broke the humphy camel’s back came when Labour’s leadership in London decided to sack Ian Price, the general secretary of the Labour party in Scotland, without anyone consulting Johann, which is a bit like giving someone a house then breaking in and redecorating the living room with puce green flock wallpaper without telling them.

Today the Guardian is reporting that for over a year Johann was forbidden from criticising the bedroom tax – a key issue in the referendum campaign – until Ed Miliband had made up his mind on the issue. This is code for “consulted with focus groups of voters in key English marginals”. Labour’s policy is set, as it has always been set, by the need to persuade Tory, and now UKIP, leaning voters in marginal constituencies to vote Labour. There are no such seats in Scotland, so the demands of Scotland’s electorate simply do not figure in British Labour’s calculations. We get to be taken for granted – and now Johann has found out that getting taken for granted is a bit of a pisser, so she’s voted with her feet. There’s all Magrit Curran needs to know for her wee commission investigating why Labour is about as appealing as a centrifuge full of dysentry victims.

The question now is who is going to accept the poisoned chalice and take over as leader of the moribund bunch of expenses claimants, time-servers, arselickers and greasy pole climbers. The range of potential candidates is less than inspiring. Some in Labour are pushing for Gordie Broon, the recently declared Saviour of the Nation, however his political career is hanging by a vow. Jim Murphy’s name has been mentioned, by people who don’t spit while saying it, which is something of a novelty for Jim. But that would be an effective demotion for a man who has spent his political career fighting to advance a sacred principle which can be summed up in just two words – those words being “Jim” and “Murphy”. Plus he’s a warmongering Blairite whose past will most assuredly follow him like the smell of a bad egg. Kezia Dugdale, of all people, has been mentioned, and you know things are desperate when Kezia is regarded as a plus, but she didn’t get the BBC radio show so she needs something to do with herself.

Still, you can console yourselves with the thought that no one has mentioned Jackie Baillie as a new possible leader, but that’s only because – judging by her performance on Good Morning Scotland on Saturday – she has finally taken leave of what little senses she once possessed.

So that just leaves the hereditary MP for Govan, the millionaire slimebucket otherwise known as Anas Sarwar, who as deputy has taken over as fictitious interim leader of the fictitious Scottish Labour party. This is perfectly appropriate, seeing as how Anas is a fictitious human being. But he has no intention of giving up the Westminster seat bequeathed to him by daddy – it’s a family heirloom after all.

Meanwhile the UK polls show that Labour is slipping behind a Tory party which is itself riven with infighting and division, and in Scotland the SNP surges ahead in Westminster voting intentions. Looks like we’re going to find out whether schadenfreude is fatal, but Labour’s condition certainly is.

Still not had a ciggy – that’s almost 5 days now.



103 comments on “Is schadenfreude fatal?

  1. Magic mate. And keep resisting the fags!!

  2. cadgers says:

    5 days, hang on in there Paul.

  3. Nan Rattray says:

    You always manage to put things into perspective! Brilliant!!

  4. Jim Arnott says:

    Anus Arswar would be a fitting leader for Labour in Scotland and their shite policies.

  5. Sheila Rae says:

    An absolute tonic. I laughed out loud aw the way through. Giving up the coffin nails has its advantages and your biting wit is a joy.

  6. Jan Cowan says:

    Must be painful to discover that your pal from student days is so treacherous……but I suppose that’s just Labour politics. Curran and Bailie seem to be in a class of their own.

  7. Weegiewarbler says:

    Brilliant as usual – love it!

  8. Bamstick says:

    Personally I don’t derive pleasure from the downfall of others or from seeing others in pain.
    But I have to qualify that. If the person has lied or cheated then I think that they deserve whatever they get. If someone in power, someone who is in a privileged position, say to look after the future and well being of others, decides to further themselves before everything else, then they deserve the pain. Also if they belittle the people they are meant to represent they deserve their condemnation.
    If someone is an MSP, by definition they should be looking after Scotland’s interests.
    If they are an MSP for a particular area they must answer to the people of that area.

    ps. Keep going with the no smoking, and others keep telling us how you stopped. It has made me think, hard.

  9. Rookiescot says:

    I am enjoying Labours pain. I know thats a bad thing to say but given how they have served me and thousands of other Labour supporters here in Scotland I feel its justified.
    Labour. We didnt leave you, you left us.

  10. nigel says:

    Bamstick says:
    October 25, 2014 at 7:45 pm
    Personally I don’t derive pleasure from the downfall of others

    Oh yes I most certainly do, Bamstick!

    Especially when members of slab are involved, they who have shit and pissed the foul contents of their bladder and bowels for the last 50 years on the weakest and most vulnerable Scots, who were thinking that they were voting for a party who actually cared a toss about their wellbeing!

    If we actually were a REAL nation, instead of a pretendy one, these same slabbers would have been arrested by now, and most likely hung or incarcerated for the rest of their miserable lives!

    Now,ask me nicely, and I will say what I REALLY think of ’em!

    • Bamstick says:

      If you had read my comments further you would see that I am in total agreement with your sentiments.

      I also say :” If the person has lied or cheated then I think that they deserve whatever they get. If someone in power, someone who is in a privileged position, say to look after the future and well being of others, decides to further themselves before everything else, then they deserve the pain. Also if they belittle the people they are meant to represent they deserve their condemnation.
      If someone is an MSP, by definition they should be looking after Scotland’s interests.
      If they are an MSP for a particular area they must answer to the people of that area.”

      So don’t just pick the bit you want to when quoting. You’re doing what they do, selective editing.
      If you ask me nicely I’ll tell you what I think of you!!!

      • James says:

        I’m with you here bamstick, nigella and others on here need to keep to the facts, there’s plenty to get their teeth into.

        However this vile inbecile would rather howl like a demented dog suffering from sunstroke, utter vomit! , pish! and shite! all at the same time.

        Does this hound actually think that anything he says makes sense ? Who in their right mind would put up with such a creature on their blog, he tarnishes others with his ugly slants.

        Bamstick you need to be careful, being in total agreement with his evil sentiments , you might get tarred with the same brush.

        Yes voters and the snp should be distancing themselves from simpletons like this, sadly mouthpieces, like this complete moron, are rife in the snp and that’s why the rest of Scotland sensibly voted NO.

        • Bamstick says:

          You are just as bad, twisting words and meanings.
          I would like to distance myself from you.

          • James says:

            you don’t need to, I have already moved to a safe distance.

          • James says:

            that’s my whole point bamstick, you don’t need to distance yourself from me. I am already distant from you. The point is that you and that cretin are in the same camp, thankfully nothing to do with me or any of the other NO voters. Your problem not mine.

            I was just trying to be friendly and point out that you people are shooting youselves in the foot by allowing such a creature to spout rediculous venom all over this blog. There’s more than him vomiting this heinous puke.

            NO we weren’t scared, NO we weren’t hoodwinked and NO we are not dummies. You need to look elsewhere to figure out the reasons WHY.

            I would say to anyone that’s looking for answers here, perhaps you should look closer to home, then maybe you will find the real reasons why we inexplicably voted NO.

            And I will also say this, If there was another referendum tomorrow the NO vote would be a lot higher than 55% 🙂

            • Bamstick says:

              I am glad to see that you are distant from me, the further the better.
              If this is you trying to be friendly you have failed big time.
              I am not in any camp.
              I am not looking to find out why you or others voted the way you did, your choice.
              I have no argument with you. You mean nothing to me.

              • James says:

                Yes I’m glad too, but thats a shame, I was hoping we could strike up a really good friendship. 🙂

            • weegingerdug says:

              I’ve been through this with you before James. I have a liberal posting policy – that means that if people wish to post idiotic things, then as long as they are not illegal and won’t get me sued, I won’t stop them or censor them. People do not judge – say – the Guardian newspaper by the content of below the line comments – so why do you feel the need to judge me by what other people say? Do you honestly think that by not censoring a comment which compares Scotland to the Nazi occupation of Europe in WW2 that I agree with the sentiments it expresses? If so, then presumably I also agree with everything you say too, because I don’t censor you either.

              You seem to have taken it upon yourself to challenge each and every comment that you find objectionable, wrong-headed, or stupid, and in doing so you are coming perilously close to starting flame wars which merely cause work and bother for me – work and bother which I really don’t need. So please, do me a favour, let other people’s idiocies speak for themselves and then third parties can arrive at their own conclusions. This is the grown up thing to do. Your services as bullshit monitor are really quite superfluous to requirements love.

              You don’t get banned on this site for saying stupid or objectionable things – you get banned for giving me grief and causing me hassle. Please – everyone – bear that in mind.

              • Bamstick says:

                Sorry WGD I’ll shut up now.

                • James says:

                  I’m having difficulty understanding why my text is causing you so much grief, but the heinous trash that nigel wrote, in your blog, seems to be causing none?

                  I’m also having difficullty undersatnding how it is that the likes of nigel can write whatever he likes on here, but I get reprimanded if I reply.

                  In all cases I have only reacted to, as you said, comments that I find objectionable, wrong-headed, or stupid. What’s wrong with that?

                  I’m not familiar with the term “flame wars” and don’t understand why this would cause work and bother for you.

                  • weegingerdug says:

                    A flame war is when you insult a person who has left a comment – they then leave another comment insulting you back, and before you know it there’s a mini WW3 going on. This is what causes me grief because then I have to wade in and get you all to behave.

                    As a rule of thumb – you can say what you like about third parties like politicians, or media figures, but when you do as you do and start insulting second parties – ie the person whose comment you are replying to – that’s when things get nasty and quickly degenerate into slanging matches – ie a flame war.

                    I do not agree with what Nigel wrote – but he did not insult you personally. He said a stupid thing about No voters en masse. You then CHOSE to take it personally, and directly insulted him personally in return – do you see the difference? I do not respond to idiotic things people say about any class of people I may be considered a member of – I don’t take things personally. Grow a thicker skin James.

                    I left a reply to Andrew, who insulted you personally – I was not happy with his comment either. But up until now he has not caused me any bother, work or hassle, so it was merely a friendly warning. That is not the same as condoning what others have written, and if in future you do imply, assert or state that I do condone or approve of an arsehat comment or statement, I will ban you – because now you’re insulting ME personally.

                    Now do you see the amount of shite you’re giving me here? I’ve had to respond to all this crap all because you insist on taking impersonal statements personally – and really, I have better things to do.

        • Andrea says:

          James – it’s clear you are a tad upset, but honestly hasn’t it just struck you as a tad WEIRD that the WINNERS are being such spluttering indignants?

          I read your post and you are so incensed you aren’t actually making ANY sense…. whom do you refer to as a simpleton? A hound? A moron?.

          Are you referring to the HOST of this website? I hope not – your manners won’t gain you much support for your 55% – but I think the wee ginger dug can handle it…. you dont grow up in Easterhouse and not learn a thing or two about handling toerags…

          But I suppose, on reflection ….it IS this hostile incoherence that has become synonymous with proud Scots who voted for willing subservience.

  11. vronsky says:

    Keep off the fags for ten days and you’ve done it. Fuerza!

    Adjuvant therapy: pray for Sarwar to be the next guest of Madame Guillotine.

  12. Steve Asaneilean says:

    Welcome to Meltdown Saturday! And, sorry, but JoLa’s gripes and moans just don’t cut it. If she believed that British Labour in Scotland should be independent of London there was nothing to stop here, once elected as leader, to just plough her own furrow any way. The fact is she ALLOWED her party to be run from London and so she is just as guilty as Ed or any of the Westminster crew.

  13. aitchbee says:

    Jackie Baillie’s performance on GMS this morning was just jaw-dropping. ‘Move along, nothing to see here. Anyway, Johann is just a wonderful leader and human being…’ The effect was only spolied by the 2-3 seconds of hesitation after being asked a question before her brain kicked in to its pre-programmed speech 😉

  14. johnmcgurk66 says:

    Hi Paul I should not gloat but I hope people wake up to the fact that the political parties in Westminster do not really give a shit about Scotland . And Ms Baillie is about as much good as a
    boil on your arse.

  15. Anne Lyden says:

    Sharp, witty, absolutely top form!
    PS I’m going to begin a campaign to get “plutoniumy” and its definition into the Oxford English Dictionary.

  16. andrew>reid says:

    Jola’s successor – watch this space for Margaret Curran, who has just (Iain Gray style) completed her apprenticeship at Westminster, and can be trusted with the Caledonian sub office – why else is it she who has been given the job of listening to the Labour heartlands? And, she is one of the new best pals of Ed and Harriet. That’s how the British establishment works isn’t it, or have I missed something?

  17. Neil Anderson says:

    Johann who? Stay aff the cancer sticks BTW.

  18. J Galt says:

    Sic a Shower o’ Shit in a Nation!

    (Apologies to R. Burns esq.)

  19. Calgacus says:

    Brilliant article WGD had us howling with laughter.Gave up the fags 8 years ago, after a week or two you start to get a delightful warm tingly feeling in your hands and feet as circulation recovers. Another week or two and your lungs start to emerge from years of phlegm and you realise that you don’t need to spend your life half drowning.Keep going Paul you have already done the worst bit.It is so worth it.

  20. Mike Hamilton says:

    Just a thought – AS resigned and will emerge supercharged and will be free to say all the things that you know he really wanted to say all along. JL resigns and … will never be heard from again.

  21. […] Is schadenfreude fatal?. […]

  22. arthur thomson says:

    Great post Paul. Thank you. I am looking forward to reading the next one! No pressure like.

  23. Hazel Smith says:

    Great post Paul as usual. Loved the ‘plutoniumy’ as well.

  24. James says:

    This came as no surprise to me. She should have had the gumption to go along with salmond.

    Apart from the greens, who have served us well, the other leaders of the non-existant parties should go too. They have all failed us miserably and the way that they conducted themselves over the course of the referendum was sickning. Shame on the lot of them, none of them deserve to be given a chance to speak on behalf of the Scottish people ever again.

    great news on you defeating the ciggies, well done! Don’t look back. 🙂

  25. Wee jock poo-pong mcplop says:

    Genuine political comedy – both from wgd and Scottish labour! Thank you for that. BTW how has Doggie coped with the flitting?

  26. jimnarlene says:

    I hope schadenfreude isn’t fatal, we would be doomed.
    Watching labour (northern colonial outpost), destroy it’s self is an absolute joy.

    Keep on giving up, it’s hard at first but it does get easier.

  27. Donald says:

    Oh, congrats on the ciggies. You must succeed.
    Great blog as usual. Keep your head up and keep doing what you do best!

  28. HelenEarth says:

    Oh the joy of watching them implode, but a little caution here , the spin may well be: don’t blame us; a big English boy did it and ran away.

  29. HelenEarth says:

    Also, very well done on the ciggies front. Managing that and flitting at the same time deserves a medal.How is wee ginger coping?

    • weegingerdug says:

      He’s not bothering his tail, but he’s always quite happy as long as he’s with his daddy – or his foster mammy and daddy in Glenboig. He’s lying on his back sprawled on the sofa right now, doing a very good impression of a dug who knows all is well in his wee world.

      • Wee jock poo-pong mcplop says:

        Great to hear that…my wee white devon dug (Titch) sends regards. He is an English dug wi’ Scottish sensibilities.

  30. WRH2 says:

    Pleased to hear you’ve made 5 days without the fags. Keep going, it does get easier. After a week it seems like you’ve done it but watch out at the 3 month point.
    Loved your take on JoLa’s step down. Still laughing.

  31. Political Tourist says:

    Thing is, who in Labour has a safe Holyrood seat.

    • Steve Asaneilean says:

      Nobody will be wanting to stand in a constituency – they’ll all be after a place on the list – that way they have a better chance of being elected and without all the effort.

  32. David Agnew says:

    When it comes to back stabbing, labour has form.

    Honestly, I always felt that yes or no, the party that had the most to lose would be labour. You cannot stand shoulder to shoulder with a party like the Tories, then claim only labour can protect the Scots from them. There was a real desperation within labour to get back to normal, but it wasn’t happening. I think they realised that they had not settled the independence question for good, only kicked it down the road to the next election in 2019.

    There is a good chance they are going to lose in 2015. They have pretty much given up winning at holyrood in 2016. The Yes campaign won’t go away. The SNP are not shriveling up and dying as planned, and to make matters worse, they have failed dismally to reconcile anyone who voted yes to suck it up and remain with the union. The great Ditherer that is Gordon Brown effectively trashed what little remained of his own reputation with his “vow and iron timetable” turning into a “petition”. The smith commission will seal the deal that labour are an utterly useless bunch of chancers.

    They will most likely fatally wound themselves by picking an MP to be their “leader” in Scotland. This will lead to an odd situation were an Slab MSP will be the leaders spokesperson in Holyrood. This will lead to charges of Westminster interference and that Labour simply do not take Scotland or devolution seriously. The alternative are the ones who “lost” to Lamont in the last leadership wrangle, you remember that one I’m sure, when Miliband couldn’t even name any of the candidates.

    I expected labour to suffer after the referendum, I didn’t expect it to disintegrate quite so quickly.

  33. Sooz says:

    “about as appealing as a centrifuge full of dysentry victims”

    Keep off the cigarettes. You just get better and better.

    As for Anas, there’s a pun there somewhere about “horribilis”.

  34. Peter Lynn says:

    Labour r finished these dinosaurs r goni have the longevity of the last batch of dinosaurs a couple of days after the asteroid hit, mabee they can get jobs advising the army of self employed people on zero hour contracts how best to make claims to get the best back from the tax man. great to see them melt away so quick, I hope gordan brown takes control & saves the day yet again, whit a leader. Nicola will be shaking in her boots, not. Interesting time.

  35. Judy Olsen says:

    Five days. Over the worst. Remember, Tories want you to smoke. Giving up is a political act.

  36. mogabee says:

    Don’t think Schadenfreude is fatal…but a knife in the back certainly is!!

  37. scotsgeoff says:

    But the Beeb and SKY keep telling me Gordon Brown is ‘respected’ and Jim Murphy had a ‘successful’ tour of Scotland on his Irn Bru crate.

    Who to believe? Hmmmmm…

  38. Capella says:

    Well lack of nicotine hasn’t dimmed your style. That was a concise summary of Slab’s dilemma! Derek Bateman’s article in Newsnet has a clip of Ms Baillie’s interview (I don’t listen to BBC now). She sounds like a pre recorded message. Isobel Fraser deserves a good service medal for putting up with it.
    What fresh hell will today’s Sunday Herald bring for Slab?

  39. Loving your posts and if you do a whole week off the fags you redefine yourself as a former smoker – a new identity to settle into!

  40. Red Squirrel says:

    What did the dinosaurs do to deserve this insult from JoLa?
    SLAB are taking “winning” quite hard aren’t they? Just as well they haven’t noticed the incoming asteroid of 2015 GE…

  41. diabloandco says:

    Today we are told that the East Ren , attend the opening of an envelope , be-egged ,MP Mr Murphy is going for it!
    That should be a killer move!

    P.S Should temptation strike imagine making a roll up with a pound note or fiver – the better bank balance definitely helped me!

  42. aitchbee says:

    The Scottish Scaremonger has a new product out, just the thing for whichever mug (sorry) candidate takes on the ‘Scottish’ Labour leader gig…

  43. Martin McCourt says:

    Excellent and amusing as always. Congrats on stayin of the smokes too. I’ve stopped too but switched to electronic cigarettes, keeps the nicotine intake without the nastiness of burning weeds, chemicals and tar etc. Done me a world of good. If the cravings get too bad, give it a try, its not perfect but better than smoking.

  44. tom donald says:

    a pleasure to read that, great stuff: Stay off them fags, we need you fit and well and… alive!

  45. A Meringue says:

    “lord” Foulkes has been on the radio this morning stating that as far as picking a new leader for the Labour party in Scotland is concerned their biggest problem they have is the “plethora of talent to choose from”

    File under “You couldnae make it up!”

  46. smiling vulture says:

    anyone explain why lord Jack McConnell came to Johann Lamonts aid so quickly?

    • hektorsmum says:

      Well he was one of the first to be disloyal and you know how Labour detest disloyalty. So now they have got what they wanted and at such little (little?) cost then of course he is there trying to smooth the feathers, after all there is Archie to consider.

  47. handclapping says:

    A couple more days and Ginger will stop smelling of smoke too. He’ll love you for it.

    Its a bit like when you go to the circus and one of the lions bites the lion tamer. The ringmaster seems to have panicked and it was the Beeb that told them to put Macternan and Foulkes on the radio – Send in the Clowns.

  48. ians1320 says:

    Hadnt thought about Jolo stand on bitter together and not wanting to be controlled by Westminster! You couldn’t make it up. Ian

    Sent from Samsung tablet

  49. Richard Smith says:

    The big question for Johann now is whether to pass on the backless stab vest of office to the next incumbent, or just stick it on eBay.

  50. hektorsmum says:

    Don’t know if it the lack of cigarettes but boy that punched a few lights out. As for the plethora of talent(less) politician’s in Labour, they all suffer from the same problem. None have any confidence and in that I include GB and AD, they all look to those they see as ” Better than Them.” I have to say they are utterly incredible, after seeing what happened to the Lib Dems they were stupid enough to join them in the Death Embrace of the Tories. Well hell mind them. I think we are actually seeing their death before us and Ed Miliband will be a tiny blot on the history books as my other half says, with Neil Kinnock, and he will not even get into Europe.

  51. mindovermutter says:

    Reblogged this on Mind Over Mutter.

  52. macart763 says:

    Whooaaa, you go away for a couple of days and all hell breaks loose… in a good way. 🙂

    So Magrit stabbed Johann in the back? Who knew?

    Not long now. The complete implosion of Labour is imminent and to be fair, just what is their point in Scotland? Between the SNP, SSP and Greens Scotland is well catered for with parties who still know what masses before classes means.

  53. […] Less than two months since Scotland voted No, and it’s become clear that the big loser from the independence referendum isn’t the SNP or the other pro-independence parties, it’s Labour. Is schadenfreude fatal? I may have given up ciggies just to die from an overdose of smugness, gloating, and an overwhelming urge to yell out: “Ha ha! Fuckin’ TELT yese!”  […]

  54. nigel says:

    Being one of the 45%, I surmise that living in Scotland post indyref would be a bit like living in occupied Europe during WW2.

    Knowing that you have no-one looking after your interests, knowing that the airwaves are being manned by the occupying authorities, afraid to even step out of line one iota for fear of reprisals….

    The list of similarities is endless.

    In our case though, the occupiers trojan horse based at pathetic quay, churning out its daily dose of unionist tripe MUST be an early target for these who wish rid of our “nazi” occupiers.

    secondly, knowing that the occupiers are being collaborated by 55% of your own nation is a cross the Scots alone only must bear. THAT at least did not happen in Europe under occupation-THAT is unique to the Scots nation!

    • James says:

      your comparisons and inuendos reek of buckfast and snakebites, these drunken slavers don’t help the independence cause at all. I for one would never vote for a party that has mouth pieces like you in their ranks.

      The only thing you said that was correct was that 55% of the nation (the majority) voted NO.

      You behave like a vicious dog that’s been thrown a bone, not much meat on this particular bone, but your gonna snarl as loud as you can anyway, because thats the only way you know.

      Does it ever cross your tiny little mind that your barking up the wrong tree, or that your chasing your own tail ? (not for a nanosecond)

      You cannot say things like this and then proclaim to be in the right, how thick is that ?

      Big dumb mutts like you never learn anything, and calling the majority of Scottish people nazi collaborators, sadly proves my case.

      Even more sad is that probably I’ll be the only one, coming in here, that disagrees with you.

      • Andrew Brown says:

        James, does your Carer know you’re out?

        • weegingerdug says:

          You’re not helping Andrew.

        • James says:

          very sorry for reacting to someone who has called me, most of my friends and family and many other people that I care about ” a nazi collaborator” your just as bad for condoning what he said.

          Why was that ? , because you were in the minority vote too ?

          I would have said thanks for the intervention, but we both know this was more for Andrew’s benefit , not mine. Cheers!

          • weegingerdug says:

            Don’t fucking insult the blog owner James. You are here on my sufferance. You’re on pre-mod now. Your comments will not appear until I’ve looked at them first. All you have done since you started commenting here is to start fights and arguments.

            • James says:

              I strongly disagree, check back and you will see that wasn’t all I have done. As for insulting you I wouldn’t dream of it. pre-modding ? is that not what the media you detest do ? Personally I’d rather be banned.

  55. Morag Frame says:

    so looking forward to reading your comment on the latest farce from labour – you never disappoint!

  56. slabs loss…Scotmids gain!! Fair enjoyed that !! Gie Ginger a big pat from me.

  57. Cuilean says:

    We are witnessing the self-inflicted, wholly deserved, destruction of the Northbrit Labour Party – their ‘Gotterdammerung’ who still think it their deified right to rule Scotland. None so blind as will not see.

    So who will be SLAB’s chief pall bearer and drink this poison chalice to the dregs?

    The invisible man, Crash Gordon Broon, leader of the opposition in Scotland? Can’t see it, myself, as he’d actually have to TURN UP for a change! PLus Nicola could hold his ‘feet to the fire’, every week, over his Homerule VOW etc!

    And expenses con artist ‘Chicken Jim’ Murphy? Please! Give up his 11% Westminster pay increase next April? No more ‘bottomless pocket’ expense claims? No, nay never!

    It’ll be Sarwar. You sowed the wind, Labour, now reap the whirlwind.

    Draw up your ring side seats, people of Scotland, the SLAB touring circus is about to send in more clowns. Enjoy the show, folks! I wouldn’t miss this show for the world!

  58. KT says:

    Great piece. Good comments.
    Also, Bill Wyman; ‘In 2009, he quit smoking after 55 years’

  59. Clarinda says:

    Old-style, but ‘plethora’ in medicine refers to a rather unpleasant morbid red-faced condition resulting from over indulgence in eating and drinking. So a plethora of the unfit, swollen with self-serving greed, is pretty close to the mark I’d say.

    In thinking of Magrit et al and their nastiness – perhaps the Lord meant ‘A plethora of talons’?

  60. annelawrie says:

    Reblogged this on annelawrie and commented:
    Wee Ginger Dug. Cocking a leg at the demise of SLAB.

  61. Aileen says:

    Laughing all the way through.

  62. carthann says:

    Another great analytic and humourus post! 5 days off the fags is brilliant. That’s it, you’re a non-smoker. Think of yourself as that. You’ve not given up something good. You’ve rid yourself of something you didn’t need in the first place. Stiall ort, a charaid!

  63. carthannas says:

    Another great analytic and humourus post! 5 days off the fags is brilliant. That’s it, you’re a non-smoker. Think of yourself as that. You’ve not given up something good. You’ve rid yourself of something you didn’t need in the first place. Stiall ort, a charaid!

  64. linda says:

    Well done on the Ciggy front. Loved the article. May I suggest another may come to the fore, Michael McMahon marching with his new best friends, the Orange Order.

    • A Meringue says:

      McMahon is my MSP. He has a majority of less than 800. The only place he is marching is into the sunset. And he can take his bigoted OO pals with him.

  65. macart763 says:

    Paul, you have a fair idea how long it takes to go through the odd email. Considering the Smith commission has something like a month to hear all sides and consider some 10K submissions, what are the chances of the recommendations being effectively read, considered, discussed and a concensus agreed upon by Nov 30th? 😉

    Or is it time to practice the evil laugh again?

  66. Sooz says:

    Just nipped back again to say I am on the edge of my seat waiting for “I was a useless leader but it was everyone else’s fault” with JoLo in the starring role in sequined tights and comedy daggers. You never fail with your rapier wit. Hurry up!!! LOL

  67. clashcityrocker says:

    Another great piece Paul. Many thanks for your wonderful, insightful, direct-and-to the -point- words. “James” is clearly a ******************************************

    • weegingerdug says:

      This is exactly the kind of thing that’s the problem here. James insulting people does not give you licence to insult him back. So cut it out please.

  68. Jeanie Deans says:

    One of your best, WGD. Right on the nail and had me greetin’ wi laughter 😀

    As a bonus I’m taking a new word from Nigel, Slabbers – oh so apt.

  69. […] Less than two months since Scotland voted No, and it’s become clear that the big loser from the independence referendum isn’t the SNP or the other pro-independence parties, it’s Labour. Is schadenfreude fatal? I may have given up ciggies just to die from an overdose of smugness, gloating, and an overwhelming urge to yell out: “Ha ha! Fuckin’ TELT yese!”  […]

  70. Finnula says:

    Ooh this made my Monday morning….lmfao…..I do hope, wee ginger, that as you chewed LaMonster’s bones that they didn’t taste too bitter! Keep up the good work and ignore ‘wee Jamesey’…..forgive them for they know not what they do.

  71. nigel says:

    The fact is she ALLOWED her party to be run from London and so she is just as guilty as Ed or any of the Westminster crew.


    Her lack of talent in all departments was PRECISELY the reason the leaders in london engineered her leadership. They were looking for ANOTHER individual who could be reliably told to do their bidding at all times. The last thing they wanted was an individual with looks, intellect and personality who had a mind of their own and whose first priority was for the wellbeing of the Scottish peoples!

    To be fair to the labour party (and I hate to be fair to the mob who shit and pissed all over the poorest and most vulnerable Scots who were so deluded as to think they were voting for a party who actually give a toss about them) if either the lib dums or the tories had been in power, they would have acted in exactly the same way towards the Scottish peoples.

    So, it is not worth speculating as to the future “leader” of this northern branch office of the london labour party may be, whoever emerges will continue to act against the very Scots they are supposed to represent. I, for one, will not waste a nanosecond in wondering what tenth rater and utter utter nonentity the Scottish people will be saddled with!

  72. Mick Pork says:

    Let’s be clear. This is perhaps one of the most shambolic and astonishing things to ever happen in scottish politics. Nobody wants to be leader of the ‘scottish’ Labour party. NOBODY!

    In fact today has been a riotously funny parade of ‘scottish’ Labour politicians falling over themselves to rule themselves out of the running. Think about that for a second. Now consider the implications for a party which utterly dominated scottish politics for decades. I cannot think of a clearer and more telling sign that Labour in scotland are heading for utter disaster under the control of the comically unpopular little Ed Miliband than the events of today. Also, it’s funny as fuck. 😀

  73. Niven Dyer says:

    Brilliant as usual. You can’t make this shit up. guid luck wi the fags!

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