Oh God why did I ever think this was a good idea

I’m now at the “oh God why did I ever think this was a good idea” stage in the house flitting process, and am sitting here surrounded by packing cases and piles of assorted stuff all over the floor, under which – somewhere – is hiding a roll of parcel tape. It’s hiding on purpose, because it’s malevolent. The guy in Gordon’s Supplies, Lies and Trussing shop where I bought it swore blind that it was really good and would do exactly what I wanted, so it was only my own fault for believing a vow. See when someone tells you it’s a done deal, it means you’ve been done.

So what with arguing with recalcitrant packing tape, choosing wallpaper, spending hours on the phone to the electricity company, and packing stuff away – I’ve not really been keeping abreast of political developments of late or had much time to update the blog. But you don’t need to pay close attention to realise just how much trouble all three of the main Westminster parties are in. It’s a bit like watching an overhyped boxer fighting to the death with a plastic spatula, and the spatula is winning.

The simultaneous descent of all three main parties into direpute is quite a remarkable achievement in a First Past the Post electoral system where distaste for one party generally results in strengthening one of the others. But that’s just how rubbish our current crop of party leaders are – they’ve even broken a political system that was designed so that one or other of them would be in power for perpetuity, with or without the occasional Lib Dem dangleberry – they cling on so persistently. And it’s all the more remarkable when you consider that this is a system that was set up to cope with chinless wonders with stiff upper lips who never needed a spoon because they were already born with silver ones preinstalled in their gobs.

The Lib Dem conference was still going on for most of the week, although no one noticed. I think it was still going on yesterday, but like 99.99% of the population I couldn’t be bothered to find out. The remaining 0.01% is related to a Lib Dem MP and hears about it whether they like it or not. Usually not.

Meanwhile the realisation is dawning within the upper reaches of the British Labour hierarchy that in Ed Miliband they really did pick a plasticene Wallace as party leader but Ed Balls comes nowhere close to Grommit the dog in competence or likeability. With opinion poll ratings showing that Labour has thrown away its previous lead in the polls, it’s looking highly unlikely that the party will become the largest party in the next parliament, never mind the government.

The Tories on the other hand had a “good” conference. “Good” in this instance being defined as tearing up the European Human Rights treaty, tax cuts for the better off, putting a great big English votes for English laws fly in the devolution jam, and sawing off the legs of people on benefits so that golf club members in Surrey can run them down in a golf cart. This has made the Tories more popular with people who have Death Race 2000 on DVD and aspire to the membership of golf clubs in Surrey.

However the Tory feel good bounce, achieved by using a disabled person as a springboard, has been splattered due to a by-election in the previously Tory seat of Clacton which fell to UKIP and give the purple faced right wing populists their first directly elected MP. Douglas Carswell won with an embarrassingly large 60% of all votes cast. It was one of the biggest swings to any party since in decades. Nigel Farage, who permanently wears the smug expression of a late developer who has just discovered masturbation and thinks he’s got a special secret no one else knows, is going to have to buy in a bulk order of paper towels from the cash and carry.

Tory rumblings of discontent with Davie’s leadership were already rumbling before Clacton. Now the pressure on the Tories to tack even further to the right is going to be intense, and we can expect a lot more in the way of “fairness for England” as an excuse to delay Scottish devolution, and hyping up the anti-Europe rhetoric.

Labour’s woes have also taken on a deep purplish hue. The other by-election on Thursday was in the Heywood and Middleton constituency in Manchester. It was supposedly a safe Labour seat, as recently as 2001 Labour took 57.7% of all votes cast. But UKIP came within a tickle of making Nigel have to go and get a new supply of tissues again, and reduced Labour’s majority to just 617. A whole swathe of Labour seats in England suddenly became as vulnerable as a baw hair in a Brazilian waxing salon. There’s those plastic spatulas again. Turn out was a pathetically low 36%. There’s no apathy like British Labour engendered apathy. It’s one of the few things they’re very good at.

Although Labour held on to the seat, in some ways the result in Heywood was worse for them. In Clacton Douglas Carswell was the sitting MP before he switched to UKIP. He was, apparently, popular locally. I know. Go figure. No I don’t get it either, but there ye go. He had an established presence in the seat. Like one of those dents on your favourite chair that’s shaped itself into the perfect shape of your bum. In Clacton Carswell was the right arse. But in Heywood UKIP came from nowhere, and almost succeeded in planking their arse very firmly on a sofa that Labour has always thought it was its divine right to get on expenses from John Lewis.

Meanwhile in Scotland, British Labour is in a whole different set of bother. Those of you who voted Yes can go “muwahahahaha” at this juncture, like an evil supervillain. Go on, you know you want to. I’ve been practising my special “told you so” smug look.

The Lib Dems avoided humiliation, but only by securing the sole rights to ignominy, disgrace, and mortification. And made a strong bid for ridicule too, but were only saved by there being so much ridicule to go around these days. In Clacton they managed a paltry 483 votes, and a lost deposit of £500. They would have been better off bribing 483 voters a quid each and then they’d still have had enough left over for a curry.

UKIP have now proven that they can take votes from both Labour and the Tories, and the Lib Dems have been consigned to oblivion. They’ve done this because of rather than despite of the fact that they have no policies besides getting out of Europe, kicking Scotland, and hating immigrants. They’re the party for people who hate politicians, but who don’t have any real consensus yet on what they want to do about it.

That’s where Scotland is way ahead of the game. There is a whole ferment of ideas and new projects amongst the 45. Scotland is slowly reaching towards a new consensus on how this country should be governed, and who it should be governed for. They look to what’s happening down south, and many of those who voted No are now having “oh God why did I ever think this was a good idea” moments of their own.

We’re in for some very choppy waters along the way, but the current weak and discredited condition of the parties and institutions of the UK means that an organised mass movement can gain huge concessions. And we’ve had a two year long education in organising ourselves.

Sorry there have not been as many new posts of late, but until the flitting is done and dusted updates and new entries are going to be a bit erratic.


59 comments on “Oh God why did I ever think this was a good idea

  1. macart763 says:

    Well my kisser is slowly morphing into the smug look Paul, but for the past couple of weeks its had the more grumpy ‘Ah bliddy telt ye’s’ look. Soon as Dave announced his intention to slash the block grant and Broon asked us to sign a petition, I had set about looking for every no voter in the work and took great pleasure in rubbing their faces in the canteen’s only remaining coffee stained, grease covered copy of the DR which carried ‘the vow’ on the front page.

    Strangely now it doesn’t feel like pleasure and more like a necessary chore and to be truthful, it didn’t feel as good as I thought it would. Heh, getting soft.

    I’m looking forward with supreme pleasure and anticipatory smugness though to watching the real culprits get their come uppance, British Labour in Scotland and their pet chihuahuas the Lib Dems. I’m going to have zero qualms about staring those fuckers in the eye and watching their house of cards blown away in the coming shit storm.

    They were so arrogant they didn’t even wait a full week before going back on promises and sticking the boot in on Scotland and to be fair, on the poor everywhere on these islands. They’re quite equal opportunities bastards in those respects. They’ll lie to your face with a smile and piss in your drink while you’re distracted with the glare from their teeth. Its been one piece of bad new after another for the past three weeks and it won’t stop there. There’s going to be a mad race to see who can travel furthest right in ideology between now and next may between CON, LAB and LIB. It won’t be pretty but it should leave everyone with little doubt about the opportunity they passed up on September 18th.

  2. aitchbee says:

    I will never be able to look at Nigel Farage again without getting an unpleasant picture in my head. On the plus side, this means I will have an excuse to never look at Nigel Farage again 😉

    Good luck with the flit!

    • diabloandco says:

      Me too – or perhaps just a more unpleasant picture!

      Lived in my house too long Paul – it’s a move or torch it situation , the easier option being the latter.

      Good luck with your move and may your new home be a haven.

  3. blunttrauma says:

    Payback’s a bitch!…Ain’t it just mwuhahahaha.

  4. enjoyed reading that ,”I told you” is never far away

  5. Aileen says:

    Spot on again wee dug.

  6. Jayne Calderwood says:

    what can I say, brilliant and yes the evil laugh is coming on great.

  7. Steve Asaneilean says:

    The final report from the Smith commission next month will show how far all the promises and “vows” have unravelled.
    Once it is published we must ensure that all the submissions are published too so we can clearly see who aske for what and in what proportion.
    If thousands of individuals and hundreds of grassroots organisations submitted requests for FFA and that was simply knocked back inspite of overwhelming support…

    • I understand all submissions will be published on the commission website after the closing date on 31st August. So lots of fun and frustration to be had reading through them. And the Dug might be able to dine out on them for quite some time.

      As you are asked to address how devolution of powers will affect both Scotland and England, I’ve been having a mind-twisting time, contorted like some yoga guru in his prize position, trying to keep a straight face whilst I try to find words and reasons why devo max for Scotland will benefit England and indeed be good for the UK. So a bit of imagination stretching employed, with indy never mentioned, in the hope sufficient submissions can persuade the giving of something more than the paltry powers at present on offer. It’s rather a case of holding the nose and taking the plunge. And when they are tossed aside and ignored, we then have further ammunition to say the demand was there, but as usual Westminster wasn’t listening.

      • Date is of course 31st October. So we’ll be able to read submissions a month before the report comes out.

        • Alexk2009 says:

          I just skimmed through the proposals. The Tory proposal at least states what they want in the Executive summary. Labour’s are buried in a load of waffle, and the same for the others. The waffle may be needed but I think a one page summary would be nice.

          All parties save the Tories say they want the Scottish Parliament to be permanent, which to me implies it cannot be dissolved. Without that all else is meaningless. Westminster could say “Yes you have all powers except Defence and Foreign policy and all revenues” on a Monday and on Tuesday say “The Scottish Parliament is dissolved with immediate effect”. Labour state this most clearly but it is in the SNP, Green (I think) and Liberal proposals as well.

          As to the rest, all parties except the Tories seem to be in Broad Agreement, with some disagreement on details. Labour want to retain far more powers and Liberals want Federalism.

          It is hard ot read this stuff on Screen and time is in short supply but basically no major sellouts, some room left for compromise, and the Tories are the odd one out, as would be expected. It is now up to the public to write in and say what they want.

  8. That’s it! My only source of news from now on will be the WGD! No need for me to go any further. Incidentally, overheard on Radio 4 this morning was that viper, douglas alexander, he actually said: ‘…I’ve just spent the last two months defeating populist nationalism in Scotland….’ Breathtaking! Incredible! The wee shitebag probably believes this garbage! AAAAAAaaaaarrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • macart763 says:

      He’s making no friends amongst 45% of the voting population. Look on it that way.

      They still can’t help conflating civic nationalism with right wing extremism, quite deliberately of course, but that’s shitebags for ye. 🙂

      Now we’re not right wing nutters, most of them having signed up for BT (who knew?), but for small holy Wullie shitebags to keep on insisting that this is the case… well what kind of effect do you think that will have on your average punter’s voting intentions with only months before a GE?

      Do you feel like voting for your local Labour representative? 🙂

  9. Nana says:

    A friend was visiting yesterday who has relatives in Perthshire and they voted no. They are already regretting it and now want another referendum. Methinks there will be a lot of No voters feeling sorry in the coming months.

    Good luck with the move!

    • Alex says:

      Anyone who voted no and now wants another try should (a) Join and vote for the SNP or another Pro Indy party: Vote tactically and (b) Write or email their MP saying they have been deceived and want another referendum NOW !!!!

  10. arthur thomson says:

    Thank you as always. A great post. Flitting is dire. Good luck with it. We will be thinking of you (and glad it’s no us!). Just the very existence of WGD gives me hope for a Scotland that is vibrant and alive.

  11. faolie says:

    Nice to hear the dug barking again 🙂 Not sure I want to have an evil laugh though, much as though it’s bloody well deserved. But I prefer instead a grim satisfaction that, having lost the referendum battle, the next battle in May should be a victory, at least for the SNP.

    We sent 11 SNP MPs to Westminster in 1974. We should be able to double that in 2015.

    If Labour are losing votes to UKIP in England, Ed must be shi**ing himself at being squeezed by UKIP at home and the SNP abroad.

  12. weecopey says:

    What if UKIP get in as the main party though? It frightens me rigid because they have already stated that they want to close the Scottish Parliament!!

    Anyway I suppose all we can do is keep the fingers, toes, eyes, legs etc crossed that something good will be coming for Scottish people soon.

    • DR says:

      It’s well on impossible for UKIP to end up the main party (this time!) because of the anti-democratic way first past the post works (especially as they are taking votes from both colours of Tory usually in play in a seat). However, they’ve a very real chance (even a guarantee) of becoming England’s 3rd party, and holding the balance of power (with a lot of t-d off voters, because 30% of votes didn’t bring them as many seats as it ‘should’). Realistically, the only way to prevent that via a vote in Scotland is to ensure the SNP/independent Scottish parties become the UK’s third largest block of MPs, to hold the balance of power instead – because with guaranteed electoral chaos south of the border, not even 41 Labour MPs (not going to happen anyway) could make a difference to who forms the government (and how they are pressured by UKIP). It’s perfectly do-able. Everyone who supports devolution – regardless of their feelings on independence – needs to think about this in 2015, because neither Labour nor the Tories are able to ‘protect’ the Scottish Parliament *with UKIP holding the balance of power*. It is also a good idea to support the Scottish Greens in the Smith Commission asking for constitutional protection for the Scottish Parliament (with the UKIP situation, this is a realistic ask – ConLabDem will whine, but they’ll recognise the need.) Scotland’s UK votes only don’t count when we give them to UK parties – not being enough to create a majority does not matter when what you *need* is leverage (voting Labour does not give *any* leverage in the hung parliament-with-UKIP scenario!).

  13. Rookiescot says:

    Cant say I feel any smuggness when I say to people “Fuck you moaning about? You fucking voted no” in my work.
    I kinda just feel disapointed.

  14. Johnny come lately says:

    For all it’s worth, I don’t think it’s a good idea berating no voters because of their decision or rubbing it in, it just pushes people away and polarizes people. Deep down inside many no voters will know that they voted against their country, others that they made a bad decision and now have regrets.
    It will eventually sink in for many no voters that they have been had, but many will be in a state of denial, clinging onto the forlorn hope that home rule will be delivered. We must be careful in this denial period not to antagonize, otherwise potential yes voters will just dig their collective heels in.

    • davidmccann24 says:

      I kind of agree with you here. My wife persuaded a friend to vote Yes in the referendum, and talking to her yesterday, she remarked that she was the only one in her circle to do so. The interesting thing is that every single one of those five who voted No now regret bitterly that they did so.
      That must tell you something.

    • Nigel says:

      No! Deepdown inside, many no voters wont give a toss about whats happened since then. They will continue to view the union as a comfort blanket and vote accordingly.

      I can assure you, that many scots, after having been brainwashed for so long, are not going to suddenly realise the error of their ways!

      Wishful thinking on your part johnny!

      A strange race, the scots

  15. James Coleman says:

    Would everyone stop the wailing and gnashing of teeth about UKIP. There is NO chance it will gain anything like enough seats to form a Government at WM, or even to form a coalition. These current votes are PROTEST votes against the current set up; as Farge says to rid us of “college kids” who have never had a real job governing us. The old diehard Tories will return to the Tory Party fold at GE 2015 after Cameron et al has spread a few lies and faux promises about a Euro Referendum and Tory ‘support’ for leaving Europe unless its ridiculous conditions for staying are met.

    Labour are more likely to be hardest hit by this UKIP surge. Because many ex LAB, LIBDUMs all over England look likely to continue to support UKIP at GE2015 which means Labour are now very unlikely to win a majority at WM with or without a coalition. And that is good for Scotland because the Tories are much more inclined to serve up DevoMax or something near to it. Labour’s proposals are nonsense.

    The vibes are also good for Scotland and YES supporting parties which if present trends continue should now be able to replace Labour in a large number of seats. And we must keep the pressure on Labour by every means possible to keep them in the public eye as pariahs who sold out and are still selling out Scotland.

    • Alex says:

      I am not so sure. Outside London they are gaining ground.

    • Mick Pork says:

      “The old diehard Tories will return to the Tory Party fold at GE 2015 after Cameron et al has spread a few lies and faux promises about a Euro Referendum and Tory ‘support’ for leaving Europe unless its ridiculous conditions for staying are met.”

      Most will but not all. Enough to swing perhaps a handful seats for them but as you say..

      “There is NO chance it will gain anything like enough seats to form a Government at WM, or even to form a coalition.”

      Correct. There are scenarios where a mere few MPs can make a difference in a hung parliament but that’s very far from having the whip hand.

      One thing to remember though is that the kippers are still primarily a pressure group on the tories which many will forget after seeing how badly little Ed Miliband’s party did in Heywood and Middleton by-election. (If there was a Labour leader of stature and substance they wouldn’t have been humiliated like that, but Labour don’t and will never have such a figure in our lifetimes) The kippers will hit labour in a great many places but Farage still wants out of Europe and his primary means to achieve that has always been to force the tories to an ever more Eurosceptic position till they unabashedly support a full blown OUT.

      Come 2015 either the kippers play the tune for a re-elected tory party that will split over am IN/OUT referendum in 2017, or they cheer on the carnage following a loss. If Cameron loses then the tory party has to decide if it wants to replace him with a pro EU leader or one who wants to be OUT of Europe. The tory party have quite a bit of form when it comes to losing their minds completely over Europe. Sooner or later they are going to do so again and in a manner that will likely overshadow all their previous splits and fights over it.

  16. Mick Pork says:

    A couple of points to add.

    One is that the BBC giving blanket coverage to the kippers during the Euro elections looks very funny indeed now as they will be chief among those flapping and panicking among the establishment.

    The other is that this is in no way a positive vote for the pitiful Farage. It is abundantly clear the kippers are simply the recipients of a protest against the despised out of touch westminster parties. Hence why the conservative HQ spinners ‘strategy’ of attacking Farage is doomed to failure. Didn’t work during the EU elections, won’t work now. Nor will it work for little Ed Miliband as he’s as out of touch as the twit Cameron is. Those voters in England don’t seem to give a fuck that Farage is a racist clown. They want to send a message to the out of touch westminster parties and UKIP are simply the only outlet they have. Not to say that protest vote isn’t significant and it should rightly worry scots as it shows all too clearly just how far to the right a great many voters in rUK are willing to go now that they such a limited and pathetic ‘choice’. You can be certain the spineless jellyfish Cameron and little Ed will lurch ever further to the right and will start banging on about immigrants and Europe in their panic.

  17. INDEPENDENT says:

    Good to hear from you Paul, spot on as usual.
    Get yourself sorted and comfy in yer new hoose mac sure WGD is happy, then return to keep us enlightened and entertained with yer great blog!
    Aw ra best, you deserve a great deal of love and affection from us all after what the last few months have thrown at you.

  18. arthur thomson says:

    I don’t know if I am alone in this but it has just occurred to me that the fact that the Scottish electorate ‘chose’ to stay in the UK has a significance that didn’t occur to me before. Prior to the referendum Scotland seemed locked into the UK whether the Scots wanted it or not. The principle that the Scots have the right to choose has been established in fact. The same Scots can choose to change their minds at any time of their choice in the future. I feel freer than I did in the past. Maybe we should be communicating to those who voted against independence that their democratic right to choose is ongoing and that when team GB are fully exposed for what they really are then together we can choose self government.

    • DR says:

      It sure does have that significance, although obviously the establishment would love if we failed to notice (and certainly aren’t going to admit it). My only problem is it’s pretty clear that some (not all) voted No because they don’t *want* that right, and are very uncomfortable with it being pointed out that one cannot actually ‘get rid of it’ in a democracy! I think they are the vocal minority though? It’s hard, with the lost opportunity, to recognise just how far we got, and how much we did win, but I think it’s important (and important to keep feeling and acting freer!)

    • Alison Hardie says:

      Good point. It’s also occurred to me that we must realise that we won’t be given independence, we have to decide to take it. It’s ours & we want it back.

  19. Capella says:

    Good luck with the flitting, I trust the PC and router will be the last to go into the box. Will check back to see when you’ve resurfaced.
    It is a pity that there is no real alternative party in England. Westminster has created a political wasteland that only benefits London (parts of) and the south East. After the 2015 GE Miliband will be replaced if Labour lose. Maybe then there will be a possibility of change but it’s not very likely and who cares any more. It seems more of a foreign country than ever. Hope all unionist parties are removed from Scotland once and for all.

  20. yesguy says:

    Great read Paul.

    We always end up with a smile on our faces. And the comments superb. I shall practice my baddie laugh all the way up to the GE. Priceless .

    I have had the smug face for a while but like many here it is a bitter sweet smugness lately. many of the NO voters are in turmoil and so they should be , but the cuts and like are still hammering the poor and disabled and i canny take any satisfaction from anything down south while so many here are being hurt.

    Arthur Thomson pointed out that we have a choice. Sometimes that gets forgotten. With the will power and efforts of the 1.6 million , we can put ourselves into a position were we can gain independence . We can choose a different path. Well done sir. I will be reminding NO voters that they still have that choice. I reckon it’ll change a few minds easier than gloating that their decision to vote NO damaged this country. That they can make amends. Well spotted sir.

    Paul, moving house is the second most stressful event in our lives ,only losing a loved one comes above it. You my friend have had to go through both. So you take your time and get yourself sorted and in a good place. We are your loyal supporters and will be here , waiting for a return of your witty articles.

    You have brought an awful lot of joy to many and i want to post a reminder that you are always in our thoughts. Always.

    Haste ye back Paul.

  21. annelawrie says:

    Paul, I hope you and the wee ginger dug settle happily in your new place. It will eventually be a haven for you both. I had to move regularly over many years & now I’m settled where I am, but a move would be wise right now, to weed out accumulated debris.
    I hope you will continue to bring such joy with your words of wisdom. I have been feeling such anger over the last few weeks, that I couldn’t even bear to meet any of my NO voting friends, for fear that my rage would erupt into criminal destruction. The interesting face of politics at the moment is a consolation and I’m sure there are many, many “I told you so” moments ahead. As a bonus, we will have the joy of seeing many who lied & cheated the people of Scotland, to preserve their place on the gravy train, getting their just deserts. I hope they live every day in fear – from now until the GE & then the Scottish elections. We also have the delights of local elections to look forward to. Revenge is a dish best served cold.

  22. annelawrie says:

    Reblogged this on annelawrie and commented:
    Wee Ginger Dug – moving on x

  23. mogabee says:

    Moving is stressful but can be cathartic too. Clear out the old, find the odd lost “treasure” and move on with optimism.

    Make sure and put up a yes poster in your new place, I think it may bring good luck!

  24. Ah, what to pack for the new life, and what to leave in the past. Decisions, decisions. Hope you get through the flitting with a smile and with your sense of humour intact. Good luck.

  25. jamie macdonald says:

    Great stuff , …but I canny say it better than yesguy, you speak for me with all of this comment -well done, -all the best with the move Paul, you and the dug…

  26. smiling vulture says:

    jingsandthings says:

    October 10, 2014 at 5:32 pm

    I understand all submissions will be published on the commission website after the closing date on 31st Oct

    SV–will Gordon Brown submission be a blank piece of paper

  27. Christine says:

    Enjoyed your post good luck with the move, say hello to duggie.

  28. HelenEarth says:

    I too am finding it difficult to meet with No voters, out of fear of irreversible damage to any ongoing relationship. I do agree however that we need to build bridges lest we push people further into entrenched positions; but not just yet. I recognise that I am nowhere close to being capable of this and must therefore accept that when I say” I effing told you ” I will have to resist remorse, at least for the foreseeable future. Good luck with the flit Paul, i hope you and the dug survive it with sanity intact. You and the dug have contributed so much to our sanity and well being and for this and for just being who you are, I wish you all the love in the world.

  29. […] I’m now at the “oh God why did I ever think this was a good idea” stage in the house flitting process, and am sitting here surrounded by packing cases and piles of assorted stuff all over the floor, under which – somewhere – is hiding a roll of parcel tape. It’s hiding on purpose, because it’s malevolent. The guy in Gordon’s Supplies, Lies and Trussing shop where I bought it swore blind that it was really good and would do exactly what I wanted, so it was only my own fault for believing a vow. See when someone tells you it’s a done deal, it means you’ve been done.  […]

  30. Jan Cowan says:

    It’s the pessimistic Yes voters that I prefer not to meet…..the ones who maintained all along that we’d never make it. I always believed the opposite….. and still do! But how often these people tried to dampen my enthusiasm and each time I found renewed vigour by reading your words, Paul. Thank you, thank you!

    All best wishes in your new home to you and wee dug. ( Hope there’s a lovely green park not too far away for WGD to run around at will.)

  31. A Meringue says:

    FFS dont mention flittings. Back in august my friend bought a cottage in Auchtertool it was “priced to sell” meaning lots of work to do. We are now into October and about half way through. Every room plastered, Harling done, New kitchen (not finished yet) new internal doors and skirtings, new front door, multi fuel stove, landscaping including tree surgeons, fencing (almost £4,000).

    I keep expecting Kevin McLeod to pop up with his wee bob the builder hat on. Aye who thought that this would be a good idea indeed?

    • hektorsmum says:

      I can understand the need for extensive work on a wee cottage but a nine year old house in a modern housing estate. We finally finished the extensive reconstruction of all the bathrooms and kitchen, replaced all the central heating and decorated, removed tons of gravel (who thought that was a good gardening idea?) kicked down the ahem deck, laid grass and now we want to ahem move again………
      Flitting this next one will be number 11 and this has to be the last.
      Great sympathy for Paul, just remember to label the box with the essentials like the kettle and the dugs bowls.

  32. Paul, take as long as you need. We’ll still be here when yie get back.

  33. Roibert a Briuis says:

    Hello Paul,

    I wonder if you can help me I need a wee hand from a wordsmith to compose something to do with irregularities during the referendum.

    WE did meet at Andy’s cremation I was the one in the kilt that you did not recognise.

    I am dlm48(AT)aol(DOT)com

    thanks in anticipation

    kindest regards


  34. nigel says:

    No powers of any consequence will be devolved by London EVER, let me assure you. The revenues from whisky and oil are simply too enormous to let go of. If London lost these enormous revenues, the UK would be instantly bankrupt! London has already been forward spending the proceeds of oil and whisky for years now-how do you think cross rail, m25, and multitudes of other grandiose projects benefiting no-one but southern england have been financed, ffs!!

    The ONLY way Scotland is to move forward would be to “chip round the edges” of the remaining 5% we require to bring us up to 50% yes- however, most Scots regard the union as a comfort blanket and their mindset will not change-the younger Scots will be our salvation.

    Forget this commission-its only purpose is to delay, obscure, and ultimately deliver sfa to the Scottish peoples.

    Another referendum in, say, 3 or 4 years should do the trick!

    • hektorsmum says:

      Nigel have to agree with you, hence the panic. We are not back in Paul’s shortbread tin this time though and that is to the good. I think that yes the young mostly will be our salvation, I say mostly, because I know of some who should have been natural Yes who were “terrified” of losing jobs/mortgages.

  35. Julie says:

    Kippers aren’t purple-they’re puce and apoplectic..

    • Fat boab says:

      I think I’m in love! – ‘puce and apoplectic..’ what a delicious turn of phrase. Julie, where have you been all my life? Paul, I’d watch my back if I was you.

  36. […] Oh God why did I ever think this was a good idea […]

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