Jangling nerves and bitten nails

Oh God. I wasn’t going to post anything, but watch the results come in instead. Only I’m so nervous I can’t watch the results. I’ve decided Twitter is evil. I already knew Facebook was evil. But Twitter is eviller. It’s more evil than the Star Trek dark universe version of Iain Duncan Smith. You can’t get much more evil than that. Every half hour I go from the heady heights of optimism to the deepest gloom and back again. So I’ve turned down the sound on the telly, I’ve switched off the Twitter feed, and I’m listening to some nice calming music instead.

I keep repeating the mantra “It’s only a vote not the end of the world.” But somehow I’m not convincing myself. The end of the world would be less nerve wracking. There’s yer alien invasion, we’re wiped out by the death rays, and it’s all over before Bruce Willis can do anything heroic. You don’t have to sit through hours of Glenn Campbell first. So, definitely preferable to the BBC referendum coverage. Unless it was an alien invasion fleet of smug Jim Murphys complaining about their dry cleaning bills. Then it would be pretty much the same as the referendum.

The turn out has been incredibly high. So much for no one being interested in the referendum. And whatever happens, we know that the No campaign’s initial claims of a 70% plus vote for the Union have been proven spectacularly wrong. The desire for Scottish self-determination hasn’t been put back into it’s wee shortbread tin – we’ve moved into the living room and are building an extension to the house. Scotland now has an entire nation of politically engaged and educated people who know how to self-organise. Things are never going to be the same again. So whatever happens (and be still my jangling nerves), we can take great comfort in that.

Ohgodohgodohgodohgod. We’ve reach the top of the indyref campaign rollercoaster, too late to do anything about it now. Let’s hold on for the ride.


18 comments on “Jangling nerves and bitten nails

  1. purplebadger says:

    Enduring it with you, Paul.

  2. Me too. I’ve been downcast since Kellner made his announcement on 10.30. If the first result is a No, I’m away to my bed! See you on the other side!

  3. Rona McGill says:

    Dear Paul, thanks for your humour, your honesty and the intensity of the feelings you communicate through your blog. I think you are one of the most positive things I’ve found in this campaign and enjoyed so much your posts. You should take some credit yourself for the work you’ve done and the people you’ve reached whatever the outcome – you’ve been a part of the self organisation and creation of a movement.

  4. fynesider2 says:

    “I know nobody will see my status but sometimes when I am bored I go into the garden and cover myself in earth and pretend I’m a carrot”

  5. Aileen Blok says:

    Aagh Paul, we’re all feeling it with you.

  6. weecopey says:

    Don’t think I can stand it I might have to go to bed and stare at the ceiling till it’s daylight

  7. smiling vulture says:

    praying YES reaches 48%

  8. purplebadger says:

    This is so painful.😦

  9. MBC says:

    Paul, your humour and your indominatible spirit is amazing.

    The first few results have come in now and it’s not looking good. But we have really given them a hiding and have forced them onto our ground. We have made a huge difference, forced the debate our way. We have forced The Vow out of them and must hold them to it. We have caused pain in the Tory back benches as rebels line up to attack The Vow. We are in for a long hard fight yet but we have gained ground.

  10. Jan Cowan says:

    I never cared about an election in the same way. Can’t forget and go to sleep.

  11. scotsgeoff says:

    Thank you for all your efforts.

    At the moment I’m thoroughly ashamed my fellow ‘countrymen’ are
    voting in droves to be a ‘region’.

  12. Kathleen Cumming says:

    I feel so ashamed. I don’t think I will ever ever call myself scottish ever again. I will never call myself British. Do you think if the English get a referendum they would kick us out ? I can have a hope of that. I am so proud to have been a part of all the yes groups, wee blue book, wings over Scotland, bella caledonia, the indy girls, the list goes on. May God bless you and keep you, and make his face to shine upon you. May you all continue to be a blessing in all you do.

  13. A Meringue says:

    I am in shock.

    For the very first time in my sixtyone years have I ever been ashamed to be Scottish.

    It is 5:30am and I can’t get to sleep. How could this have happened. And to see those parasites celebrating.


  14. Sue Varley says:

    Anybody still up? I’ve been to bed twice now and can’t sleep. Gutted. Feel sickened by this result, and so sad that over half of Scotland proved that they are no better than us English. I am numb, unbelieving and totally lost. I don’t see how we can recover from this. Maybe its just exhaustion talking?

  15. sair fecht says:

    A little bit of me died tonight..

  16. A Meringue says:

    I reckon that in the race to see who could do more damage to Scotland Gordon Brown is the new Thatcher. He is nothing but a loathsome parasite.

    It looks like Brown managed to lie to enough pensioners and parents of critically ill children to terrify them into voting against their own best interests.

    Sorry if this offends but it certainly looks like “in the land of the blind the one eyed man is king”

    A couple of days to gather my thoughts and back to the fight. At my age I won’t get another bite at this cherry but I can’t sit back and do nothing. I have heard rumours of another PQ demo on Sunday that could turn out to be interesting.

    Paul you must be feeling awful right now. Don’t despair you have many friends here. I look forward to your next post whenever you get around to it.

    Peace and love

  17. Marconatrix says:

    Sat through it all, like a rabbit in the headlights as disaster loomed ever nearer. I really thought we would win it too, all the good reports during the day, last moment conversions, all the rest. To have visualised a whole new country within reach and then watch it snatched away … But beyond the emotional kick in the stomach … how did this happen? How did we get it so wrong? We have to analyse and learn. How did all those vast swathes of Scotland that had produced the SNP majority and the mandate for the referendum almost uniformly give something like 6:4 against? How was it that Labour ‘strongholds’ were where Yes won, given that habitual Labour voters were seen as the main obstacle? And why was the Glasgow turnout so much lower than elsewhere? Very odd all round. Needs to be understood if we’re to move on.

    But at least many people will have visualised a Free Scotland more clearly than ever before. And hopefully that vision will return to haunt their dreams. And when they realise how much they were lied to and bullied and cheated … Well I can’t agree with AS that we need to wait a generation. I’ve already done that, and more, we don’t have forever. Somehow this has to be put right while there’s still a Scotland, and indeed a Britain left to save.

    So now we need some constructive options to go forward …

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