In the limbo inbetween

This is one of those personal posts. Andy’s postal ballot arrived in the post on Thursday, and I took it to the hospital for him to fill in. He’s very poorly now, with constant infections. The consultant has said that they suspect he has an infected cyst in his lower abdomen. Usually they’d treat it surgically, but he’s too weak and frail. Even if he could cope with the procedure, it would only get him back to the condition he was in when he was admitted to hospital after his latest stroke, and then he’d only come down with yet another infection.

So no more poking and prodding, we need to allow him to go. He’s getting close to the end now – at the very best it’s only a couple of weeks away and perhaps not even that. And that estimate is based on nothing more than my wishful thinking. The important thing is that he’s comfortable, he’s not in pain or distress. The staff at Lightburn hospital have been fantastic with him.

It wasn’t a difficult decision to tell the consultant to stop active treatment, to put him on the do not resuscitate list and to allow him to slip away. When he had cancer some 15 years ago, we knew he was going to recover from it, but we discussed end of life care and funeral plans. He said then he wanted to be cremated, and he wanted a druid to officiate at his funeral. This was in Spain, where the funeral is usually the day after death. “How am I going to find a druid in Spain at 24 hours notice?” I asked. “In the Yellow Pages?” he replied. But he also told me that he wanted to be allowed to go in peace, without being attached to tubes and pinging machines that wouldn’t get him any better.

So it was easy now. I didn’t have to make a decision. I just had to tell the consultant when she asked me to make a decision. It helped so much that I knew what to tell her, and that I only had to relay his choice to her. And I’ve even found a druid for him.

He was determined to vote, but his grasp is weak and he struggled with the pen. It took great effort to produce an illegible scrawl that I can only hope the returning officer will accept as his signature. And then he put his X in the box marked YES, dropped the pen and lay back, exhausted with the effort.

As he signed it struck me that this is probably the last thing he’ll ever sign. The last time he’ll ever put his name to anything. Going from this world in the knowledge that his final act was to deliver an almighty kick in the nuts to the British establishment. He’ll like that. He was a proud working class London lad and socialist to his core. He put his name to a vote for an independent Scotland. It’s his legacy to me, to my family, to our friends, to all the people who showed him love and support and welcomed him into the Scotland that became his home.

I posted his vote on the way home. He’s not ever coming home, but he’s not gone. I’m in the limbo inbetween.

148 comments on “In the limbo inbetween

  1. Margaret Anderson says:

    No words, just thinking of you.

  2. flooplepoop says:

    Dammit… i’m so sorry for your pain, and this hit me very hard.His last act was to help Scotland, i fervently hope he gets his wish.
    Love n stuff.

  3. For a Dancer says:

    I’m sorry things are looking bad. But I am glad for you both that he got to vote. Hold on to his passion and keep fighting his fight.

  4. Iain says:

    That’s terrible. I can’t imagine how you feel.

  5. Kirstin says:

    I have never had the pleasure of meeting you both, but I take great pride in the fact that there are people in this country like you and Andy fighting for this vote in you darkest hour.

    Peace be with you both, you have brought so much to me

  6. Red Squirrel says:

    Thinking of you both and the beautiful contribution you have made towards Scotland becoming independent.

  7. Only know you through this Blog, Paul – thoughts are with you, Andy and of course the WGD.

  8. Hazel Smith says:

    So sad to hear. Words are too hard to think of right now. Just immense sorrow and at the same time pride at what you have accomplished for all of us in our journey to independence.

  9. Paul, I can only offer my kindest thoughts and my admiration to you both. That’s a measure of the man’s resolve and his love for his dearest that he’s kept strength in reserve for this simple but powerful act. I’ve been in that in between place with both my parents but stay strong because there are guaranteed better times to follow. All the best, pal.

  10. bad3maggie says:

    My thoughts and thanks are with you both… I hope his vote is one that takes us over the winning line…
    Many, many thanks for all your contributions on our journey towards Independence… your words have kept my spirits alive many a time.

  11. Clootie says:

    I hope we win by that one vote!

    We all take the same journey at some point. It’s how we take it that matters.
    That green beret already marked him as unique – he knows what I mean.

  12. A Meringue says:

    No stranger to tragedy myself. My thoughts are with both of you.

    Go steady Paul. You’ll get through it.

  13. Macca1877 says:

    He will be going to a better place I am sure. Just like the rest of us after Sept 18th. You words have been an inspiration on many a late night when I needed a boost. Thank you.

  14. Bamstick says:

    Thank you for sharing these very personal moments with us.
    I made my mum fairy cakes with wee walnuts on the top. She loved walnuts. They were the last thing she ate before she slowly slipped away. I didn’t think much of it then, but it’s a wee bit of comfort for me now.

  15. The next few weeks are going to be hard for you. Words can’t convey what everyone who reads your blog feels. So a group hug.

  16. frann leach says:

    Hang in there. Thinking of you.

  17. Just to echo Kirstin’s words really.

    And to thank you Paul for everything you’ve done & continue to do, despite everything, for our cause.

    You should take comfort in the fact that Andy has obviously had a life well-lived & has been well loved too. It’s probably all we can wish for ourselves.

    And thank Christ for wee dugs to keep us going!

  18. cuddyback says:

    Red rowans and wild honey: the bitter and the sweet.

    May you both (and all of us…) live long enough to see your dreams fulfilled.

    Y un abrazo fuerte al perro valenciano…

  19. smiling vulture says:

    The Druid is at peace with nature

  20. macart763 says:

    Thinking of you and Andy.

  21. Jon in Chicago says:

    Damn. Just … damn.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you, Andy, your family and friends. May his memory be for a blessing, and may the knowledge of all the difference you’re making be of some comfort to you in the coming days.

    For some reason, Runrig’s And We’ll Sing seems appropriate here.

  22. JimnArlene says:

    Our thoughts are with you

  23. Coolheads Prevail says:

    Our thoughts are with you. Any other words are inadequate.

  24. Scottishdragon says:

    Thinking of you both. You give me hope, perspective and hilarity through this blog, I hope knowing how highly your readers value you and your contribution is of some support to you during this difficult time. Well done Andy for making your mark.

  25. Steve Asaneilean says:

    I can only echo everyone else.

  26. maybolebuddie says:

    Paul, I can only hope that the people who post on your site bring you some comfort in your darkest moments. I have said before and I say it again you are truly an inspiration to the yes side and hope you and Andy have a little more time together to see the start of an independent Scotland, what an epitaph!

  27. Thank you so much for sharing such a special and intimate moment….. What a legacy for someone to leave behind, the final thing you do…… I know whether here or on the other side the result will be releasing. Thoughts to all of you at this time, limbo is the most difficult place to be…… Xxxx

  28. Irene Buchan says:

    So so sorry Paul. Thinking of you and Andy. ♥♥

  29. Jan Cowan says:

    Please tell Andy we keep reminding ourselves of his dream. The part about the wee ginger fellow came true so surely the rest will also come to pass. Everyone thinking of you.

  30. steve allan says:

    thank you for sharing your pain as well as your hope

  31. Brotyboy says:

    Paul, I so want to see Andy’s vision come true, for all of you. All I can say is that I’ll always hold that vision within me out of respect for all of you.

  32. Golgafrincham says:

    Thinking of you both and sending much love.

  33. nancyburge says:

    Oh Paul…
    Just thoughts and mental hugs instead of real ones. XXX

  34. rowantree633 says:

    The real sadness is that Andy will not see Scotland become an independent country, something I now see as inevitable. However, as you say, he has done his bit to kick the UK establishment where it hurts. Thinking of you…you have been an inspiration through your writing….

  35. Nana says:

    Thinking of you both X

  36. Heartfelt sadness for you and the dug. May Andy’s vision o a free Scotland become a reality. Thank you for your encouragement to all your followers when the barrage of the opposition has been relentless. Go with the painful emotions in the waiting time ahead. Andy was blessed to have you.

  37. Jean says:

    No words are enough. Thinking about you and yours.

  38. john says:

    At this moment in time word just fail most people I am sure everybody that has read your blog will have a lump in their throat just like me TAKE CARE

  39. What a heart-breaking post! It’s so sad Andy won’t live to see an independent Scotland, but voting is such a great thing to do with your last signature.

  40. allypallykayak says:

    I cried.

    If you were here I’d give you a hug. Hug the wee dug instead as you remember the good times.

  41. Sonja says:

    So sorry for you and Andy. Hang in there; we’re thinking of you.

  42. George Elliott says:

    Just don’t know what to say as the above comments cover all, my thoughts are with you both and hope you two have a few more ‘Good’ days……

  43. J Galt says:

    This is now a Moral Crusade, your’s and Andy’s story is part of this, there are lots of other stories out there that we’ll never hear about – one I know is that of a colleage’s elderly relative, 98yrs old who is angry she has been conned and is determined now to go and vote YES.

    I hope and wish brave Andy’s passing is dignified and a fitting close to this life for him and you take comfort from that.

  44. nelliejean says:

    My thoughts are with you both x

  45. WRH2 says:

    Thinking of you Paul at this difficult time. So sad that the two of you won’t have time to enjoy living in an independent Scotland.

  46. Robbo says:

    Thinking of you and yours in this tough time. Hope his dying wish is realised.

  47. erruanne says:

    Sending peace & love to you both.

  48. Shirley Nott says:

    Thank you for this. I am so moved by the love and care you have for each other.

  49. Rab Kay says:

    Luv, Thoughts n Prayers.

  50. Andy Nimmo says:

    I have to be careful with this as when I’ve brought this up in the past (pun intended) some people take comfort some offence. After thinking long and hard I’ve decided to pass it on.

    When you pass ‘number ones’ and ‘number twos’ your body gets rid of waste products it no longer needs
    When you pass away, your soul gets rid of waste products it no longer needs.

    Aint really all that much difference.

    Please take comfort that Andy aided by yourself and the dug contributed SO MUCH to a NATION that finally said I NO LONGER WANT TO BE PART OF THIS

    Oh can I try and give you a wee laugh with BT’S Latest Blunder

    ‘Not only in Caithness and Cumbernauld also in Cumbria and ………Cent.’

    Thick or wot?

  51. David Webb says:

    I have read your blog for over a year now, magical stuff. Some of your posts have dissolved me to tears, man tears you understand! lol. This last one has been hard to read. In all this time I have never posted a reply, I’m not that kind of bloke, but this time I had to. I am deeply sorry for your pain and feelings of loss, nothing is harder than watching someone you love slip away. My thought are with you at this time.

  52. Rosa Alba Macdonald says:

    I am so sorry – May his going be peaceful and dignified. I am so glad he got to vote. This made me cry, though.
    We will be here for you for when you need us – though that is poor recompense.

  53. faolie says:

    Jings Paul, you write so powerfully that it gives us a lump in the throat before we get to the end and yet your writing seems so effortless. I’m sure that it’s not though, and it must be very hard for you writing at this time.

    But what a legacy for Andy to leave you, and us, and all Scotland’s generations to come. Thank him from all of us. Hearing is the last sense to leave us, so never stop talking to him.

  54. tartanfever says:

    Courage, compassion and dignity – you’re a daily reminder of what these words actually mean Paul.

    Best wishes.

  55. Bobs says:

    I have been reading your blog for a few weeks and hve nothing but admiration for you and your work for independence. I feel so sorry for youself and Andy

  56. Derek Morrison says:

    Love to you and peace to Andy

  57. deedee says:

    I’m reading this at work Paul and now I’m crying for all to see and I don’t care. You have been an inspiration this whole campaign. I put a “quote of the day” from the referendum on my timeline most days and 9 times out of 10 it has been a quote from you! Quite inspiring really that Andy’s last signature will be part of the freedom of Scotland. Stay strong my friend, our thoughts are with you xx

  58. Martin Lahiffe says:

    My deepest thoughts are with you during this tough time. You guys are inspirational.

  59. Martin says:

    Very sad to read this but you can also feel your strength and pride behind it.

  60. Thank you Andy for using your precious strength for our good and future .

  61. Hugh Wallace says:

    Aw Paul. I hope I never have to go through what you are going through, my friend never met. But it is the price you pay for loving someone, I guess. My favourite uncle, also named Andy, was in your Andy’s position last year so the tears I am shedding right now are for you and Andy and also for my Ancle Andra and Auntie May, the wife he left behind.

  62. Roibert a Briuis says:

    with tears in my eyes a BIG BIG HUG

  63. HoraceSaysYes says:

    I’ve read your blog for a while now, Paul, but never commented before.

    And to be honest, there’s very little I can say now, other than to offer my hearfelt best wishes to both you and Andy, and hope for a peaceful passing for Andy when the time comes.

    There are many committed supporters of Independence who didn’t get the chance to see this day. I hope it’s at least a small crumb of comfort that Andy was able to make his mark one last time on this most momentous of issues.

  64. cearc says:

    Thoughts with you.

    I hope your limbo will be short and Andy will soon be ‘Going to look for Angels in the Gloom’.

  65. Rookiescot says:

    Paul you made me laugh and cry with the same post. I laughed at the “Yellow Pages” comment but cry when I think of your heartache.
    I hope you and Andy have enough time to see his dream come true.

  66. Nigel Mace says:

    Brave, brave stuff from you both.

  67. Sue Varley says:

    Oh Paul, so deeply saddened by this post, but thanks so much for having the courage to share your situation with us. All good wishs and blessings be yours.

  68. Tris says:

    We are thinking of you and Andy here. Although we’ve never met, it’s something we do a lot.

    What other people think at a time like this, is not really that important, but I know you will take comfort in the future, Paul, from the fact that one of Andy’s last actions was to help get independence for his adopted homeland.

    We are thinking of both of you with tenderness.


  69. John Duncanson says:

    Everyone has said it, but I’m going to say it again – thank you for the support and encouragement that you have given to all of us through your writing. May you both find peace and serenity.

  70. Rosaleen says:

    Paul. Your love for each other and your passion for Scotland is an inspiration to us all. My thoughts are with you both,

  71. liz says:

    All our thoughts are with, What an incredibly moving post.

  72. Roslyn says:

    To share this with us, thank you. xx

  73. montfleury says:

    That post is full of love. Thank you and good luck.

  74. Paul, i often read your blog, and have never commented, i just wanted to associate with the remarks with the rest of the contributors here, a really moving piece and you’ve just reduced a 29 year old man to tears. my best to you and yours.

  75. Ander says:

    Wishing you strength of spirit. A big hug from the Basque Country.

  76. Jan Cowan says:

    Went to your old posts – to cheer myself up – and began with “Gordon Brown tells the truth”. Paul, you HAVE to write PC’s History of the Scottish Referendum.

  77. Eamonn Lyons says:

    My thoughts and prayers are with you Paul. Ruth Davidson said, on Margo’s passing, that it was the one ‘Yes’ vote she wished that had been casted. Well Andy’s has been casted, let’s not make it in vain, let’s make it happen for him.

  78. Niven Dyer says:

    I remember you well Paul from a time long ago in a flat in the West End. Cup of tea and a Rollie and an afternoon chat while dodging lectures. I feel your pain. Courage and love to both of you. Thank you for everything you have done. It will not be in vain. x

  79. Margaret Tees says:

    So sorry, keep going

  80. Maggie Craig says:

    You are both very brave men. Thinking of you.

  81. Aileen Blok says:

    I’ve followed your posts for 6 months now, but never commented. I have never met you or Andy, but I feel so incredibly sad to read your post. Thank you so much to you and to Andy for being one of the lights to guide our way. We can not repay our debt to you both. veel sterkte (much strength) my thoughts are with you for what they’re worth.

  82. archie says:

    Paul, an appropriate name for the hospital ‘Lightburn’. Both of you are bright lights in this land and always will be through your inspirational sharing and caring.

  83. Paul, all of us that read ye and have followed your writings over the months are with ye in spirit…’ll never walk alone! While I ken this is an awfy sad time for ye, and maybe only wee bits of humour that ye gie tae us must be hard to find. I identified wie ye on the ticking the box bit, Mum’s no well sighted….she nearly missed to box…YES box….but close run thing! This might be her last vote as well because I’ve been kinda preparing for it as well….but she’s 94 and she feels she’s had an okay life. It’s so much harder and more unfair when it comes so much earlier. I like the Druid, spiritual more than religious, because I believe the spirit goes on and I’ll see all my old mates again, and my dogs as well…Thoughts with ye, ye ken!

  84. Please thank Andy for his vote – he had to make a determined effort to cast it and we all appreciate it greatly. I wish you strength. Your dedication is an example, and you should be proud.

  85. HelenEarth says:

    My thoughts are with you both. I know this is the worst thing that can happen to someone so no platitudes or empty words, just lots of love. I couldn’t stop crying when you described Andy voting yes as maybe his last conscious act. Thank him for us all and thank you for what you have done in this campaign. I didn’t ever meet Andy but I did have the pleasure of meeting yourself and wee Ginger at our tent (yes Clydesdale) at Yes in the Park so I feel connected . Much love to you both.

  86. Anabel Marsh says:

    Thinking of you both and echoing everything said above.

  87. arthur thomson says:

    Tears running down my cheeks for you both and my own sad losses. Andy will live on forever in your mind. Love to both of you.

  88. Bigbricks says:

    I can only say my thoughts are with you. And thanks for one of the most consistently excellent, entertaining, savagely satirical and thoughtful pro-indy blogs, and also the only one which has ever had the power to move me to tears.

  89. Carrig Mick says:

    I don’t really post much here, other are far better at expressing themselves…….but that was the most noble, heart-wrenching piece I’ve read in a long time.

    I’m minded of a bit in Alan Bennett’s play ‘The History Boys’ that struck home to me when he takes the boys out on a school trip. It goes along the lines of ‘Maybe some of you will become teachers, some firemen, some engineers or doctors and maybe not. Maybe not you, but your children or your friends children, and their children’s children long after we’re gone in years to come, you can not know. But know you played a part, we all play a part in the future’.

    We do all play a part, but sometimes we forget that.

    Much Love from the south west of Ireland! M

  90. My thoughts are with you and might I say what an amazing illustration of how personally important this vote is to so many of us. Beautiful.

  91. Paul, I’m so sorry. As you say, Andy’s last signature is to kick the Establishment in the nuts, so I’m sure he enjoyed that.

    There’s nothing anyone can say just now, but at least you know you are following his wishes.

    And for what it’s worth, you both have the love and best wishes of your cyber friends as well as your family. xx

  92. Keith Hynd says:

    I’m so sorry for you and your partner and my thoughts are with you both, you are both very brave thank you for being strong for yourself, your partner and the rest of us.

  93. Teri says:

    Paul, I am so sorry to hear that the time is near. My thoughts are with you and I’m sending you a great big hug. You know we are hear for you and are feeling your pain and sadness at this time.

    I’m glad you have been able to do what Andy desired in terms of treatment and funeral arrangements. He knew he could depend on you to do the right thing.

    Feel the love being sent to you now. We are with you in spirit on every step of this sad road that you must take. xx

  94. douglas says:

    Andy and Margo will b smiling down on the 19th,we got to do it for them, tc m8 x

  95. alistair says:

    FFS! I’m at work and I’m crying. Cheers. Good luck with the future.

  96. Paul, the only thing I can think of to say is ” Remember the good times”. Would you have had it any other way, I don’t think you would have missed it for the world!……..regards,

  97. Alexandra-M- says:

    Keeping you both in my thoughts. Love and strength xxx

  98. Jeannie says:

    Aww Paul….xxx. So moved that Andy’s last act is to vote for his dream and, in leaving this life, tries to ensure that the rest of us go on to enjoy ours. Thank you, Andy.

  99. keith kinnear says:

    From an old cynic who usually reads these posts and passes on, this is really touching. I lost my Dad earlier this year and can completely relate to where you are right now. Look after yourself and keep talking, enjoy every last moment. My Dad would have voted no when he passed but I like to think all of the shit over the last few weeks and a bit of prodding from me would have turned him.

    Thoughts are with you both

  100. keef22 says:


    your humour never fails to raise my spirits as I read your blog. Your thoughts and compassion are tangible.
    How poignant, how sad yet how inspiring to read how your partner still found the strength to bequeath you and Scotland a brighter future.
    You’re in my thoughts down here in Australia.
    cheers mate.

  101. McTim says:

    @Paul: Michael and I are thinking of Andy and you, and I had a lump in my throat when it came to reading the last two paragraphs. A big warm hug for both of you.

  102. midgehunter says:

    Been following this for a while but words still fail me.

    This is the true meaning for a postal vote and I hope he gets to see the result.

  103. Jamie Wood says:

    My thoughts and any words of comfort seem totally insufficient Paul, but genuinely keeping you and Andy in mind as you face such a difficult time.

    If ever I can be of help…

  104. sevcotaxcase says:

    Never posted before Paul but I’m regularly moved by your words and now I can’t even begin to adequately express my deepest sympathies for your current situation.

    It’s difficult for me to even contemplate a no vote after reading this inspiring piece. It cannot happen, surely.

    Please Scotland, vote YES for WGD, Andy, Paul and your country’s desire to stand on its own two feet again.

  105. yerkitbreeks says:

    Sad, and happy, days.

  106. Bill Dale says:

    Paul, as a long-time fan of your blog, previously posting under “Blizzard” and “Nemo” on Wings, I decided to post under my own name mainly thanks to your searingly honest and penetratingly sharp posts.

    As many have said before, you are an inspiration, and Andy’s actions put us all to shame. May there be many Andys and Pauls in the new iScotland. Both of you (and the dug) are in our thoughts.

  107. setondene says:

    Terribly sorry to hear about Andy. Your own predicament must be very hard and I send my deepest sympathy to you.

  108. I enjoy your blog but I’m heartbroken for you. May the force be with you!

  109. Robert Louis says:

    I first became aware of you Paul, quite a few years back now, when you first wrote for NNS – seems like so long ago now as we stand on the cusp of a YES vote. Back then, there were few online resources for those who wanted the return of Scottish independence. Your writing was and is a breath of fresh air.

    I hope you can find at least an inkling of comfort from the many many people who have posted on here.

    I wish you and Andy peace with your remeining time together. The best, R.L.

  110. JGedd says:

    Moving post, Paul. No words can really do justice to what you have already written. The comments above say so much already about how many have been affected by your sad news. But you have made Andy known to so many through your blog that he will be remembered. Your writings are his tribute. Hope he is still here to see his vision realized come September. He is our talisman.

  111. Its the hardest thing ever, to let go of someone you love, even when they need and want to go. Blessings on you both.

  112. Steve Bowers 74% win says:

    This is just so sad, to have lived through all the pain, the laughs, the lies and the fun of the referendum with you both.
    The strange thing is that we in Scotland on the YES side have become The Big Society that Cameron tried to foist on us and we’ve become that big society because of people like you Paul, all I can add is a big ditto to everything in the comments above. Much love and respect.

  113. Theresa says:

    I’m so so very sorry, your writing has always been beautiful and today even more so x

  114. Luigi says:

    Paul, when we get a YES result on September 19th, I will raise a glass to you and Andy. I will also think about my late Dad and many, many others no longer with us, who believed in and fought so hard for, Scottish independence. We owe so much to them.

  115. Ian Bell says:

    My respects to you both, sincerely.

  116. Catherine says:

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and Andy. Through your blog you have inspired a lot of people who will not forget Andy’s last act. Readers of you blog will always be there for you. Xx

  117. Scotto Voce says:

    Hope the posts here bring you at least some measure of comfort in the darkest of times. My partner, Jeane, and I are sending you both strength, hope and peace xx

  118. Between the Wheels says:

    My thoughts are with you. Take care.

  119. Even at such a desperately sad time your words and strength are inspirational Paul, and your efforts to promote a Yes vote through such a difficult time leave me lost for words. Thoughts are with you and Andy.

  120. Alastair Bishop says:

    Paul, love to you and Andy. My thoughts are with you both.

  121. Free at 63! says:

    Paul, I have been where you are now and know how hard it is. Much respect for your strength to still blog. Thank you to Andy for his vote and I sincerely hope he lives to see a Yes win. Much love to you both. xx

  122. west_lothian_questioner says:

    Tears on my face as i read this Paul. I’m a bit lost for words to be honest. All my best thoughts and love winging to you both.. and the wee dug too.

  123. MoJo says:

    Every single vote counts – but Andy’s one is especially precious…. . You have both made such a difference to this campaign…and embody what I hope will be the spirit of the new Scotland. You have built a big Yes family around you Paul – and after we win many doors will open to you and you will not be alone…..
    Thinking of both of you and the dug ….and remembering also those I have had to let go…
    Hang on in – the hard work is done – now lets cross this line together….

  124. xsticks says:

    My thoughts are with you Paul. I’m so glad Andy was able to make his mark along with the rest of us. Peace and love to you both.

  125. Carol Jardine says:

    You inspire so many folk. Love and hugs x

  126. Luathmac says:

    I am glad he is comfortable, I wish you strength in the days to come.

  127. M says:

    You have spelled out what the future could be and cut down it’s opponents with blistering wit. You have offered hope, light and vision. I can only hope that we readers can reflect some of it back to you and let you know that you are not alone. Sending love and best wishes to you and Andy.

  128. Rosemary Champion says:

    Peace to both of you x

  129. michael says:

    Very brave, Paul, to write this, very brave indeed.

  130. Hi Paul,

    This brought a tear to my eye, not least because I lost my own father in June of this year. He was a lifelong supporter of independence, and was wearing his Yes badge the day he passed. My dad’s death was very, very sudden and unexpected, which sounds very different from your situation, but equally sad and gut-wrenching. I’m so, so sad to think my dad didn’t even get to vote in this referendum, something he waited his whole life to see, and i’m really glad Andy managed to, as you say, give the establishment one last kick in the nuts.

    I hope Andy can hang on to see the 18th/19th, to hear the wonderful news of a landslide Yes victory!

    Peace and light to you and yours,


  131. Kate says:

    Just another avid reader here thinking of you and wishing there were any words that would make a difference.

  132. Aucheorn says:

    I’m not a weepy man but I’m so touched by your words. My thoughts and condolences are with you Paul.

  133. Ecojoe says:

    A lot to share. Peace and Love to you both.

  134. smout says:

    like many above I have never posted before
    I started greeting half way through, not the first greet I have had with your blog, but the first with a real bitter/sweet pain. so many memories brought back.
    then I started reading the comments, wet face again.
    I have been in that limbo place, wanting it all to be over, but wanting it to continue to hold on to that love.
    my heart hurts for you

  135. Jack Flash says:

    I’ve never been here before, I’m moved and I want to tell you things to make you feel better but I know I cannot. So very sorry.

  136. hektorsmum says:

    May I add that I am sorry to hear of the situation. We lost my Husband’s Mother to Dementia last November, in our case it was a mercy as she had stopped talking, more or less eating and drinking. The family had been called in last June to say she probably would not make it though that month but somehow she did. I hope that he sees his country get the Independence he so wanted. So many have not made it, and that you Paul manage to hold it all together as I am sure it is so hard for you. I will remember him and his vision for the rest of my life, I have taken it as a clear one for Scotland. It goes a long with the many many Saltires I have seen in the sky this year Best wishes to both of you.

  137. auntifee says:

    What a powerful piece. Thank you for allowing us the privilege of sharing in some small part of this journey with you. My heart and thoughts are with you both, May all our dreams come true on the 18th for all the Andy’s and Margo’s . Soar Alba. xx

  138. Finnula says:

    My thoughts are with you, Andy and your wee dug. May you find the strength to face each day with a smile as we prepare to reach the day of Freedom. I hope Andy sees and hears the cries of joy of the people of this land when we are free and always remember your brave love cast his wish for this day.

  139. Willie Oats says:

    Forza e coraggio……………………………………………
    Onward through the fog!
    Mi dispiace

  140. Tears are streaming down my face. What a lovely person you are. And Andys last signature will live on forever. xo

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