Project Fear’s letter to the McCorinthians

Let the love bombing begin! Well not really. It consisted of Eddie Izzard in union flag nail polish appearing at a Better Together fundraising concert in Edinburgh, paying his dues to the Labour party so they’ll let him stand as their candidate for London Mayor. Eddie is a very talented comedian whose heart is in the right place, it’s just a pity his understanding of Scotland is up his arse. Still, it was a sell-out event, just not in the sense of selling all the tickets.

Better Together events are always stage managed, and this one come came with a proper stage. It should have dominated today’s Scottish news coverage but was pushed off top billing by the sad death of Margo MacDonald, having a last laugh at the contortions of a wealthy elite trying to manufacture a grass roots movement.

Eddie’s appeal to Scotland consisted mainly of expressing the view that without Scotland, there would have been no London Olympics. This was a fine and emotional call, let down only by the fact that few in Scotland give a toss about the London Olympics, other than the fact that our taxes helped to pay for them, and the Olympics are awarded to cities, not countries. It’s an appeal that might have worked on Chris Hoy, but the rest of us know that riding bikes really really quickly is merely a form of entertainment, it’s not a strategy for governing a nation.

One of Eddie’s funniest sketches is the Corinthians’ Letter Back to Saint Paul, in which he describes the reaction of citizens who wish only to decide their own rules for governing their city to a series of interventions from an interfering and self-important busy-body who doesn’t have a clue. Amongst other imprecations, St Paul told the Corinthians that they should never put jam in a toaster. St Paul wouldn’t approve of the nail polish, but apart from that Eddie’s impersonation was spot on – although we can’t put jam in a toaster as Scotland’s jam never arrives. Eddie should ask Johann about that.

His comedic sketches might be a riot, but Scotland doesn’t want to live in them. The joke isn’t funny when Conservative governments are the punchline. In Eddie’s letter back to St Paul from the Corinthians, the Corinthians told St Paul to fuck off. Perhaps Better Together was hoping for a similar reaction from Scots, giving them more grist to their evil cybernat mill. But it didn’t happen. There were no heckles from the audience, which is hardly surprising since there aren’t many independence supporters who are going to pay £25 towards Better Together’s funds just so they could should fuck off at a distant stage. We can do that at TV screens for free.

Johann Lamont opened the proceedings, and received a huge cheer from an audience who thought they were in the presence of the UK’s most surreal transvestite. But then she opened her gob. It’s a shame really, with Labour’s shambolic devocontradictions she’s got some extremely good material for comedy, but Johann has no sense of. All she does is slag off Alicsammin, poorly. Timing. If she’d been a real comedian she’d have been howked off with a stick.

Meanwhile another wannabe stand up comedian was making his pitch to an audience at a Tory party gathering in London. Davie Cameron was again hoping that someone, somewhere, would make a positive case for the Union. But it wasn’t going to be Davie, who trotted through a list of achievements that belong in ancient history. There was precious little about the future, which is where the rest of us will be living while Davie lives in the past. Even so, it might have counted for something if Davie and his crew were not hell bent on destroying the legacy of the United Kingdom that he hopes might appeal to Scotland.

In lieu of a positive case, Davie had to rely on the old stand up material, personalising the debate and making out it’s all about Alicsammin. Alicsammin has no independence plan, said Davie, although he still won’t come to Scotland to debate the Eck. Davie can’t risk his assertions being challenged, since Scotland knows that he’s about as plausible as St Paul in an Eddie Izzard sketch.

The only plan Davie has ever had is to continue to treat Scotland as a cashcow, a source of skilled labour, of resources to be pillaged, and along with everywhere outside London as an internal colony in the service of the City. To be fair, that is a plan. It’s just a rubbish one. If Davie wants to tell Scotland not to put jam in a toaster, it might help if he provided some jam.

There is only one plan that’s required for Scottish independence, and that’s the plan to vote yes in September. The rest isn’t up to Alicsammin, it’s up to the people of Scotland. That Davie, is the only plan we need.


17 comments on “Project Fear’s letter to the McCorinthians

  1. […] Project Fear’s letter to the McCorinthians. […]

  2. Mor says:

    Sad as it seems the Project Fear negative campaign is having some effect.

    I overheard a YES campaigner asking an elderly woman coming out of the main entrance at West Side Plaza Wester Hailes today how she would be voting in the referendum.

    “Ah’ll be voting NO” she replied “because I don’t like your man in charge.”

    The YES campaigner tried to explain to her that the referendum was a vote for Scotland to govern itself and not a vote for Alex Salmond, but she wasn’t listening and walked away repeating “Ah’m voting NO because I don’t like your man in charge”.

    • Eilean says:

      I can beat that one. Leafleting Uddingston Main Street recently I offered a leaflet to a guy (Age approx seventy) This guy stomped angrily off in the direction of Tunnocks factory declaring. “I’m a committed socialist so I`ll be voting Naw!” 😦

      Worryingly a leafleter in Hamilton was told by it is presumed a Better Together supporter that. “After a No vote independence supporters should be stoned to death!” Nice guy eh? Now I must confess to being stoned in Hamilton on several occasions and I’m no deed yet!

      Bottom line is that there will always be some nut jobs out there but as for your elderly woman and my committed socialist. “There are none so blind as those that will not see” Don’t waste time on these people there are plenty of don’t knows out there waiting to be persuaded.

      • weegingerdug says:

        I’ve got a brother in law like that. He is to political analysis as Dale Winton is to cage fighting. He thinks the referendum question is “Do you want to have your brain eaten and become a zombie in the alien lizard overlord Alex Salmond’s slave army?”

        The irony is he has no brain.

        I don’t argue with him. I just slag him off mercilessly. It won’t turn him into a yes voter, but it gives me a laff.

        • Eilean says:

          So which paper does your brother in law write for then…Scotsman, Daily Mail, Telegraph?😉

          Seriously when I am out walking my wee ginger dug I sometimes bump into the wife of a retired journalist (Daily Record) out walking her dug. All I have to do is show her a Yes badge and she runs away shouting “put it away, put it away” Honestly she will get me arrested one day, shouting stuff like that.

    • hektorsmum says:

      Husband was waiting for me outside Marks & Spencers, Yes campaigner approached older woman and asked if she would like a leaflet, Woman with sneer on her face, ” I certainly do not”. Husband said I was going to say to the bloke he could have warned him. We have encountered that face too many times in our days.
      These are not the majority, these would not change their minds even if you were to remove Alicsammin from the picture, their minds are made up, that is if they have one, and they are never ever going to change them.

  3. gerry parker says:

    What was it ma maw used to say?

    Aye” They’ll be laughing on the other side or their face soon”

  4. “Ah’m voting NO because I don’t like your man in charge”.

    These people will always vote no. If the excuse isn’t AS it would be someone or something else, whatever is their comfort blanket that saves them having to think about issues and find out facts. The saddest thing is that the man they don’t like has done much more for them than the Labour Party has done in recent years or will do in the near future — with or without Eddie Izzard. So perhaps we should feel sorry for them. A no vote for many of these people is tantamount to a future that for them is dire. They are voting no, they are voting for the rubbishing of their own lives.

    • hektorsmum says:

      I have even tried to say that do they think that those down south will actually care that they trashed their country for them. They will not differentiate that they saw themselves as British, they live in Scotland so they just get lumped in with the rest of the rebels. Heaven help them because I doubt I will.

  5. Aye, well I hope so Gerry. I’ve been out all morning working for the Yes campaign while my wife works in a local charity shop. Now, nearly all of the staff there are Nos, probably influenced by the manager who is worried we couldn’t afford another bank-bail out. So, trying to do my bit,I have directed him, and them, to the Business for Scotland website where it is explained very clearly why we could have coped, that’s assuming we would have followed the Brown/Darling practice which I think would be unlikely, to say the least. We can only try.

    • gerry parker says:

      Good on ye Alex. I’ve delivered both Issue 1 and Issue 2 Yes papers in my local area and encouraged folk to look at Newsnet Scotland, Wings, Bella, Derek Bateman and weegingerdug for reliable information. Keep up the good work, we’ll win.

  6. smiling vulture says:

    Ironicaly London Mayor has more power than Scotish Parliament

  7. andygm1 says:

    There’s nothing new about the cash cow plan. In a speech to House of Commons on 23 June, 1893, Sir Charles Pearson MP (Edinburgh and St Andrews Universities) said,

    “But are hon. Members opposite aware of the magnitude of this subject? It has been shown by the authority I have quoted that Scotland has been overtaxed as compared with the rest of the United Kingdom to the extent, in 30 years only, of £92,684,000, and during the same period Scotland has been underpaid to the extent of £39,000,000 more. So that the Government, before approaching this question, would have to recoup £131,000,000. This slightly indicates the difficulties that lie in the way, and I shall look with interest to see how the Government propose to deal with the matter”

  8. macart763 says:

    This’ll leave a mark at the BT bunker.

    Its on baby.🙂

  9. macart763 says:

    It appears another DDOS attack is being launched at Wings and using the link I’ve supplied in the meantime will just result in a 503 error message.

    The link refers to the front page of the Times and the results of the latest Wings Panelbase poll. The fact it refers to a front page gives you guys an idea of just what its all about.

    We’re practically neck and neck with BT and still five months out folks. Once don’t knows are stripped out I believe the numbers were 53N – 47Y.

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