Wowie Bowie

With absolutely no apologies to David Bowie.

There’s god-awful cuts in welfare
and Scotland’s saying nae mair
But the Tories are yelling “No”
though we’ve told them we want them to go
And Johann is nowhere to be seen
As she walks
through the shattered dream
of a party that’s gone true blue
Labour’s hooked to the Tory scheme
But Westminster’s a saddening bore
For we’ve seen it
ten times or more
So we’ll spit in the eyes of fools
As Scotland will focus on

MPs lying through their back teeth
Oh man!
Look at those cavemen go
it’s the Commons freak show
Take a look at the pressman
Feeding all the Scots lies,
Oh man! But we already know
It’s a one sided show
There’s no truth with Marr.

It’s to Osborne’s threatening vow
That our country
will not kowtow
And we Scots will rule our ain hame
so we can’t be sold out again
by the media’s ignorant hordes and careerists and the hopes they’ve whored
So we’ll keep on using the pound
and are deaf to the scares of clowns
‘Cause Westminster’s a saddening bore
and we’ve stood it
ten times or more
Vote no and it comes again
And that’s why we focus on

Food banks stretching down the high street
Oh man!
But what would a rich singer know
about this Tory freak show
Take a look at the pressman
Feeding all the Scots lies,
Oh man! But we already know
It’s just the Westminster show
There’s no truth with Marr.



14 comments on “Wowie Bowie

  1. Douglas Reid says:


  2. john king says:

    Wow why don’t you put it to music? 🙂

  3. An absolute belter, Paul. This will be my earworm on the train. Hope to see you at the WRHA stand later!

  4. Rab says:

    Absolutely nailed it
    Made me laugh
    Was singing it in my head as I was reading it

  5. John McLeod says:

    You are a genius.

  6. Ian Black says:

    Hi Wee ginger dug, feckin hilarious. I’ve just been commissioned to write a book of pro-indy and anti-union jokes. Can I use this? There’s a pint in it.
    Ian Black.

    • weegingerdug says:

      Sure, knock yourself out.

      • Ian Black says:

        Thanks. In re the pint, I can be found most days around 4pm-5ish In Oran Mor. You can get me on 046 0361 if you fancy a safari to the west end. Here’s a sample of the nonsense so far.
        It’s Another Language Thing
        David Bowie was good enough to ask us, through an interpreter, Kate Moss, who had obviously picked up on Scottish nuances, to: “Stay with us”.
        I’ve always fancied New York, so I’ve booked with David for the first fortnight in August. Tom Shields has the Glasgow Fair.

        All of the new Scottish currency will be in simplified form, with a large and small unit. This will make it easier for George (né Gideon) Osborne to understand. Yes, punsters, we all wish there was nae Gideon.

        The Dreichma, and the Dreichda, which, as well as being currency units, are handy answers to your parent’s queries about the weather.

        The Punt and the Yankee. As we are all taking a wee gamble on ourselves, the revival of the old Irish currency seems appropriate. Tom Shields points out that there might be a problem, because most of the punts at time of writing are in Somerset saving people from the floods.
        There is also some difficulty with the Yankee, as they seem to be distributed around the world, most of them heavily armed.

        The Up and the Under. Related to the above Punt, these terms will be used to describe the relative positions of the Scottish and English currencies in a couple of years time in the world markets.

        The Gingy and the Jamjor.

        The Muckle and the Meikle: in which we perceive a situation where a mannie with many Meikles, weighed down heavily by what we used to call smash, or small change, goes into a bank and asks: “Ahv ower mony Meikles. Ony chance ye could change these Meikles for a Muckle?”

        All things bright and beautiful, all creatures great and small,
        All things wise and wonderful, George Osborne hates them all.
        And it is mutual.

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